NationStates Jolt Archive

I have just discovered the problem with Jolt's servers. Here it is:
An excess of bozons.
Bozons are subatomic particles that are attracted to stupidity. Nobody knows from whence they come, but they spontaneously appear when idiotic statements are made and such.
The problem is, bozons are rather massive. Now, just one won't bend spacetime much. But, with the sheer massive amounts of stupidity going through the Jolt servers, it can cause a problem. The 5-minute periods where the forums cannot be accessed are when too many bozons have gathered in the space surrounding the servers, and bent space-time enough that it slows down. This causes problems with our connection to the server.

I propose a solution. We must all act intelligent. Critique Kantian ethics, examine the literary style of E. A. Poe, discuss the future implications of nanotechnology, opine on Godel's incompleteness theorem and Cantor's diagonal argument, pen witty quatrains on United States foreign relations.
But that is not all!
You see, when objects move through a bozon field, they generate more bozons. This is the primary cause of the server's bozon overload, a single stupid statement being made, but many people replying, and causing the bozon field to multiply many times over. So, we must also abstain from replying to stupid posts.

The biggest worry that I have is that recent studies have shown that bozons have an adverse effect on magic smoke, and if a critical mass of bozons is reached, it could let out the magic smoke from Jolt's servers. Now, we don't want to be responsible for all that damage, do we?

There is still hope! Join me in eliminating Jolt's bozon field!

And you call yourself a Leftist?

Hypocrite.

Pffft. Science = teh SuX0rz

I think I'll go meditate.

(And if you have to ask me how this relates to the above post, you might want to go think about it for a bit first... ;) )

And you call yourself a Leftist?

Hypocrite.
What?
:confused:

Yeah, right. :rolleyes:

What?
:confused:
He's creating bozons

I propose a solution. We must all act intelligent. Critique Kantian ethics, examine the literary style of E. A. Poe, discuss the future implications of nanotechnology, opine on Godel's incompleteness theorem and Cantor's diagonal argument, pen witty quatrains on United States foreign relations.
But that is not all!

What if you already do that?

He's creating bozons

*whacks I_Hate_Cows*

SILENCE!!!

Hey I had a Bozon in my shoe the other day!



damnable Bozons!!!!!

*whacks I_Hate_Cows*

SILENCE!!!
Oh noes! I've contributed to the bozon field!
:( :( :(

*runs off to do something smart*

Oh noes! I've contributed to the bozon field!
:( :( :(

*runs off to do something smart*


*points and laughs*

*Contributes to the Bozon field just for the hell of it* :D

*kicks Plutonian Empire in a very sensitive area*

I DEMAND royalties!!!

Yes, I would much rather have an intellegent discussion about theoretical physics and mathematics than idotic current news events like Micheal Jackson's trials and sports (yes, I said it, sports are idiotic -or at least how big they are-).

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-3/968097/Hair.jpg

That is clever!

*kicks Plutonian Empire in a very sensitive area*

I DEMAND royalties!!!
:confused:

Yes, I would much rather have an intellegent discussion about theoretical physics and mathematics than idotic current news events like Micheal Jackson's trials and sports (yes, I said it, sports are idiotic -or at least how big they are-).
Damn right.

Poe is the best. I was reading a bit of E. Allan earlier. The Raven and the Pit and the Pendulum. Sooooo good. It's just the style of it, absolutely relentless.

See, it even got into my signature. Though I done that quite a few hours ago.

"The Black cat" isn't bad and "the raven" rocks. Just bought a collection of all of Poe's works. It is awesome.

Poe is the best. I was reading a bit of E. Allan earlier. The Raven and the Pit and the Pendulum. Sooooo good. It's just the style of it, absolutely relentless.

See, it even got into my signature. Though I done that quite a few hours ago.
In high school, I was known for dragging around my copy of The Complete Works of Poe, which was rather large. I got one that was leatherbound and had a decorative cover, and everybody seemed to think it looked like some ancient spellbook or something, which got rather annoying after a while.

*Resumes contributing to the Bozon field just for the hell of it* :D

In high school, I was known for dragging around my copy of The Complete Works of Poe, which was rather large. I got one that was leatherbound and had a decorative cover, and everybody seemed to think it looked like some ancient spellbook or something, which got rather annoying after a while.


I envy that. I'm reduced to scouring the internet (it's not difficult, you use one of those special sponges) and reading the works from the myriad sites that host his stuff. I'd pay quite a bit of money for a good copy of his works in paper. But I have none to give. Damnit damnitall.

*hoists gun with a plutonium slug* Stop. Now.

*hoists gun with a plutonium slug* Stop. Now.
*Grabs gun, then eats it*

Yum! :D

*Grabs gun, then eats it*

Yum! :D
Oil with that?

http://i152.exs.cx/img152/4269/bozons6kz.jpg

bozon (http://mapage.noos.fr/porquerolles/Bozon.jpg)

Oil with that?
*Grabs the oil, turns it into chocolate milk, chugs it all instantly*

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................... :p

Yes, I would much rather have an intellegent discussion about theoretical physics and mathematics than idotic current news events like Micheal Jackson's trials and sports (yes, I said it, sports are idiotic -or at least how big they are-).

You're not a 'March Madness' fan? :eek:

I must apologise for any bozons that i may have created on the jolt server, you see, my computer seems to be infected with them currently, as does my entire bedroom. Luckily i'll be moving in a few days, and I hope to leave the bozons behind. If anyone has a cure for the common bozon, i'd love to hear about it ! :D

i'm serious, if someone could patent a bozonicide spray, i'm convinced they'd make millions

i'm serious, if someone could patent a bozonicide spray, i'm convinced they'd make millions
There isn't any method to get rid of them, you must wait until they dissipate. Usually it takes ~5-10 minutes.

However, there is an injection you can give to prolific bozon-generators to cause them to stop generating. It's called "potassium cyanide".

Dragon Cows: it's hard to patent cyanide.

I have just discovered the problem with Jolt's servers. Here it is:
An excess of bozons.
<snip>
Bozons. We should've known. :rolleyes:

Okay, this can be fixed by installing a particle accelerator in the Jolt system. Unfortunately, this is outside Max Barrys budget and the authority of NationStates Moderators. Until this is fixed, we're going to have to crack down and ban the following:

Fluffle topics
posts with more than 3 smileys
Paradise Club
topics that discuss controversial subjects AND fail to demonstrate sufficient ability to analyze opposing viewpoints
any discussion whatsoever of so-called "reality TV"
any other form of spam or spam-lite
We will add to this list as necessary. We will also petition the Jolt Admins to delete the current contents of their "Spam" forum and lock the forum to additional posts. Anyone caught introducing unacceptable quantites of new bozons into the system will be declared DOS. Thank you for your cooperation.

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

You see, when objects move through a bozon field, they generate more bozons. This is the primary cause of the server's bozon overload, a single stupid statement being made, but many people replying, and causing the bozon field to multiply many times over. So, we must also abstain from replying to stupid posts.

You mean like replying to THIS Thread?!?! :rolleyes:

Damn, I just did it myself!

Now the Servers aren't going to be available for 5 minutes... :p

Regards,
Gaar

Bozons. We should've known. :rolleyes:

Okay, this can be fixed by installing a particle accelerator in the Jolt system. Unfortunately, this is outisde Max Barrys budget and the authority of NationStates Moderators. Until this is fixed, we're going to have to crack down and ban the following:

Fluffle topics
posts with more than 3 smileys
Paradise Club
topics that discuss controversial subjects AND fail to demonstrate sufficient ability to analyze opposing viewpoints
any discussion whatsoever of so-called "reality TV"
any other form of spam or spam-lite
We will add to this list as necessary. We will also petition the Jolt Admins to delete the current contents of their "Spam" forum and lock the forum to additional posts. Anyone caught introducing unacceptable quantites of new bozons into the system will be declared DOS. Thank you for your cooperation.

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
:(

*weeps uncontrollably*

An essay on the literary style of E. A. Poe

To delve deeply into the literary style of E. A. Poe is an exciting adventure. Underestimate the literary style of E. A. Poe at your peril. Until recently considered taboo amongst polite society, it is impossible to overestimate its impact on modern thought. Inevitably feelings run deep amongst the over 50, trapped by their infamous history. Here begins my indepth analysis of the glourious subject of the literary style of E. A. Poe.

Social Factors

Society is a simple word with a very complex definition. When Sir Bernard Chivilary said 'hounds will feast on society' [1] he failed to understand that if one seriously intends to 'not judge a book by its cover', then one must read a lot of books. Much has been said about the influence of the media on the literary style of E. A. Poe. Observers claim it cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.

Primarily the literary style of E. A. Poe builds trust among the people. If society has a favourite child, it is the literary style of E. A. Poe.

Economic Factors

Do we critique the markets, or do they in-fact critique us? We will study the JTB-Guide-Dog model, as is standard in this case.
Market Value Of Gold
http://radioworldwide.gospelcom.net/essaygenerator/images/graph_up_2.gif
the literary style of E. A. Poe

The results displayed in the graph are too clear to be ignored. In spite of the best efforts of The World Bank the market value of gold will eventually break free from the powerful influence of the literary style of E. A. Poe, but not before we see a standardised commercial policy for all. Perhaps to coin a phrase the literary style of E. A. Poeeconomics will be the buzz word of the century

Political Factors

Politics was once a game featuring competitors from elite classes. Looking at the spectrum represented by a single political party can be reminiscent of comparing the literary style of E. A. Poe and ones own image of themselves.

In the words of one of the great political analysts Esperanza H. Amster 'I don't believe in ghosts, but I do believe in democracy.' [2] What a fantastic quote. If I may be as bold as to paraphrase, he was saying that 'political ideals are built on the solid cornerstone of the literary style of E. A. Poe.'
One thing's certain. The Human species liberally desires the literary style of E. A. Poe, and what's more human than politics?

Conclusion

In my opinion the literary style of E. A. Poe parades along man's streets and man waves back. It replenishes the self, brings glamour to an unglamorous time and is a joy to behold.

Here with the final word is Hollywood's Shania Malkovitch: 'At first I was afraid I was petrified. Thinking I could never live without the literary style of E. A. Poe by my side.' [3]

[1] Sir Bernard Chivilary - Interestingly... - 1904 Badger Books

[2] Amster - The Popular Vote - 2002 Worldwide Publishing

[3] Everything you always wanted to know about the literary style of E. A. Poe, but were afraid to ask. - Issue 287 - QKS Publishing

A dissertation on Kantian ethics

Let us commence a journey into the much travelled topic of Kantian ethics. Many an afternoon has been enjoyed by a family, bonding over the discussion of Kantian ethics. Until recently considered taboo amongst polite society, spasmodically it returns to create a new passion amongst those who study its history. It is an unfortunate consequence of our civilizations history that Kantian ethics is rarely given rational consideration by the aristocracy, who form the last great hope for our civilzation. Keeping all of this in mind, in this essay I will examine the major issues.

Social Factors

While some scholars have claimed that there is no such thing as society, this is rubbish. Back when Vealinger reamarked ‘the power struggle will continue while the great tale of humanity remains untold’ [1] he, contrary to my learned colleague Sir George Allen’s recent publication ‘Into the eye of , could not have been referring to eighteenth century beliefs regarding society. Both tyranny and democracy are tried and questioned. Yet Kantian ethics is crunchy on the outside but soft in the middle.

Special care must be taken when analysing such a delicate subject. On the other hand anyone that disagrees with me is an idiot. Clearly it promotes higher individualism and obeyence of instinct. As soon as a child meets Kantian ethics they are changed.

Economic Factors

The dictionary defines economics as 'the social science concerned with the production, distribution, exchange, and consumption of goods and services'. We will study the Maiden-Tuesday-Lending model using the median instead of the mean, where possible.
Interesthttp://radioworldwide.gospelcom.net/essaygenerator/images/graph_down_2.gif
Kantian ethics

There are a number of reasons which may be attributed to this unquestionable correlation. Seemingly interest is in financial terms 'holding hands with Kantian ethics.' In the light of this free trade must be examined.

Political Factors

Politics, we all agree, is a fact of life. Placing theory on the scales of justice and weighing it against practice can produce similar results to contrasting night and day.

To quote the star of stage and screen Bonaventure H. Amster 'Taking a walk across hot coals will inevitably hurt your feet.' [2] One cannot help but agree when faced with Kantian ethics, that this highlights an important issue. To paraphrase, the quote is saying 'Kantian ethics wins votes.' Simple as that.
Why did Kantian ethics cross the road? - To get to the other side! Just my little joke, but lets hope that Kantian ethics doesn't inspire similar hilarity in the next elections.

Conclusion

In my opinion Kantian ethics may not be the best thing since sliced bread, but it's still important. It establishes order, ensures financial stability and figures show it's a winning formular.

I will leave the last word to the famous Britney Kournikova: 'My Daddy loved Kantian ethics and his Daddy loved Kantian ethics.' [3]

[1] Vealinger - Turtle Power - 2003 ICJ

[2] Amster - The Popular Vote - 2002 Worldwide Publishing

[3] My Kantian ethics! - Issue 4 - BFG Publishing

This is an infinitely enlightening thread.

I dumped some bozons in your telegram box Neo (if you haven't already seen it.)

*prepares for nuclear fallout.*


I'd give you a dissertation of my own, but I seem to have forgotten my overhead projector. Curses.

To truly understand Poe's works, you must first understand Poe himself. Almost everyone he loved died of Consumption, including his beloved wife. To make matters worse, it often seemed that her condition was improving, but it always declined. Poe was a talented artist as well as a writer, and his school mates thought he could have just as easily been a famous painter. There is some suspicion that Poe was allergic to alcohol, or one of a number of other drugs popular at the time. This could explain his frequently lethargic behavior, as well as his sometimes seemingly insane actions. He was an extremely harsh critic, both of himself and of others.

All of this comes through in his poetry and other writing. Annabelle Lee, for example, is supposed to be be about his wife, though the possible necrophilia connotations are questionable.

Indubitably

The bozon emission rate from the General Forum is really quite low. According to the patented Goobergunchian Bozometer (tm), the average value is:

B (NationStates general forum) = 27 T
B (Jolt general forums) = 218 T

Therefore, I propose a simple solution. Remove forums 11, 1213, 373, 1038, 1319, 811, 12, 56, 600, 59, 57, 29, 615, and 1115. They clearly contribute nothing to NationStates and should be purged. Heck, just purge everything that's not forums 1223 to 1235. What use are they, anyway?

What use are they, anyway?
For everybody that hasn't yet noticed, the NationStates forums contain more posts than most of the rest of the Jolt forums combined.
I think that speaks volumes of our importance over them!

The bozon emission rate from the General Forum is really quite low. According to the patented Goobergunchian Bozometer (tm), the average value is:

B (NationStates general forum) = 27 T
B (Jolt general forums) = 218 T

Therefore, I propose a simple solution. Remove forums 11, 1213, 373, 1038, 1319, 811, 12, 56, 600, 59, 57, 29, 615, and 1115. They clearly contribute nothing to NationStates and should be purged. Heck, just purge everything that's not forums 1223 to 1235. What use are they, anyway?
I think you need to recalibrate.

There are higher intensity readings coming from the other forums, but that's per post. Their postcount is so much smaller than NationStates that NationStates really is the trouble zone. There's no bigger trouble zone than NationStates, the only exception being the Jolt Spam forum.

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

I don't want all the stupid posts to go away. What else will I do for entertainment? I'm willing to tolerate a certain level of bozon contamination to get my daily laughs. Nothing makes me laugh as hard as some of our illustrious bozon generators.

I don't want all the stupid posts to go away. What else will I do for entertainment? I'm willing to tolerate a certain level of bozon contamination to get my daily laughs. Nothing makes me laugh as hard as some of our illustrious bozon generators.


Agreed... Damnit!

Until this is fixed, we're going to have to crack down and ban the following:

Fluffle topics
posts with more than 3 smileys
Paradise Club
topics that discuss controversial subjects AND fail to demonstrate sufficient ability to analyze opposing viewpoints
any discussion whatsoever of so-called "reality TV"
any other form of spam or spam-lite
We will add to this list as necessary. We will also petition the Jolt Admins to delete the current contents of their "Spam" forum and lock the forum to additional posts. Anyone caught introducing unacceptable quantites of new bozons into the system will be declared DOS. Thank you for your cooperation. :D You realise that after this purge, there won't BE any posts left in general, right?

:D :p ;) :p :D (<-- As to not invalidate my claim!!)

I don't want all the stupid posts to go away. What else will I do for entertainment? I'm willing to tolerate a certain level of bozon contamination to get my daily laughs. Nothing makes me laugh as hard as some of our illustrious bozon generators.
Well, if they do go away, you can always ask someone to entertain you via NS' telegram service ;) :D

Oh, and 5 more minutes before the Bozon levels reach their peak :(