NationStates Jolt Archive

My father died at age 52 , I was 16, two weeks before Christmas '2000 and my mother is 46 years old. Today I learned that she has met someone new, a guy my father knew, a friend of my uncle (my fathers brother) and I hear he is a good man. His wife past away three years ago from cancer and she was a friend of my mothers and they worked in the same field for the same company.
My question is 'what should I do?'. A) I could let them be together and let my mother be happy for the first time in about 5 years B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor or C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.

What do you think and please ad something else if the options are ot good enough.

I need REAL answers so if you are just going to punk around don't post here. Thank you.

I would go for A.

Although if you don't get along with the guy, C.

I don't think B should ever be an option. Even if it is for your father's honour. Try and think how your father would feel, would he wish your mother be happy?

::EDIT::

Rereading that, it might seem I am being condescending. I'm not.

if it'll make your mother happy, let them be together.
the question is whether this will make you uncomfortable/upset/pissed-off/angry with the new guy. if so i say you ought to talk about it with your mum. if you don't have any problems with it, let them be happy together :)

I agree with them both.

A... definitely... I woundn't do B because it's an injustice to your mother. C) is harsh... your mother might feel guilty and that might sour her relationship.

but talking to her and finding out her feelings on the subject as well as sharing yours might make the answer clearer for you.

B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor
C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.
Woah woah woah. Don't just beat him to a pulp for liking your mother. Do you think your father would want her to be single for the rest of her life? Do you?
If your mother likes him, she likes him. Kicking his ass will not stop that.

Moving away won't help. That's just running and hoping everything will sort itself out.

Just be happy for her.

Yeah i agree i think A) is the only answer valid in this case.

A mix of a and c. If this man really makes your wife happy then you should respect that, and let her know that you support her. If you don't like the man and you feel that he is disprecting your father's name, then leaving might be the best solution for you. The best thing though would be to find a middle ground where both of you are happy.

I hope for the best, my mom still hasn't married after my father's death.

North Island-
Although I'm not in quite the same boat, I can understand where you're coming from. My mom died when she was 46; I had just turning 15. My father never really looked for anyone else, but I know how I would feel if he did. I say, talk to your mom, let her know how you feel. I have no doubt that you are the most important person in her life. That puts you in a very powerful position, in a sense. You could very well make or break the relationship. This man has been a friend to your family for a while, that makes me feel like he probably is a good man. I don't think he expects to take your father's place, and your mom probably wouldn't even want him if he did. But he wants to be in your mom's life, and she wants him to be in her life too. You don't have to like it, but you can understand that she probably, for the first time since your father died, feels that she can begin to love again. That's a pretty powerful thing. That man will never take your father's place so it isn't a matter of defending your father's honor. I say talk to your mom first, let her know you have reservations. Then talk to the guy (take it slowly so you don't get the urge to kill the man). If you truely have problems with him, let your mom know how you feel. If you really think you can't handle it, quietly mull it over here in America. With time, you may find it's not so hard to face the situation. But don't loose your mom too; she's the only parent you have now. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for all of you.

My father died at age 52 , I was 16, two weeks before Christmas '2000 and my mother is 46 years old. Today I learned that she has met someone new, a guy my father knew, a friend of my uncle (my fathers brother) and I hear he is a good man. His wife past away three years ago from cancer and she was a friend of my mothers and they worked in the same field for the same company.
My question is 'what should I do?'. A) I could let them be together and let my mother be happy for the first time in about 5 years B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor or C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.

What do you think and please ad something else if the options are ot good enough.

I need REAL answers so if you are just going to punk around don't post here. Thank you.
I sort of know how you feel, my dad died aged 41 when I was 14 a couple of years ago and my mum's now engaged to one of my dad's old friends, i think he's an absolute idiot and try my best not to talk to him as often as possible but my mum's happy and I know my dad would be glad she's happy, you should let them be together

My father died at age 52 , I was 16, two weeks before Christmas '2000 and my mother is 46 years old. Today I learned that she has met someone new, a guy my father knew, a friend of my uncle (my fathers brother) and I hear he is a good man. His wife past away three years ago from cancer and she was a friend of my mothers and they worked in the same field for the same company.
My question is 'what should I do?'. A) I could let them be together and let my mother be happy for the first time in about 5 years B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor or C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.

What do you think and please ad something else if the options are ot good enough.

I need REAL answers so if you are just going to punk around don't post here. Thank you.

A) seems like a good option. I take it you are not thrilled with idea of them being together? Hopefully you can make peace with it.

My father died at age 52 , I was 16, two weeks before Christmas '2000 and my mother is 46 years old. Today I learned that she has met someone new, a guy my father knew, a friend of my uncle (my fathers brother) and I hear he is a good man. His wife past away three years ago from cancer and she was a friend of my mothers and they worked in the same field for the same company.
My question is 'what should I do?'. A) I could let them be together and let my mother be happy for the first time in about 5 years B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor or C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.

What do you think and please ad something else if the options are ot good enough.

I need REAL answers so if you are just going to punk around don't post here. Thank you.
I suspect you already know which answer is the correct one for you. "B" isn't an option, so drop that one. You seem to have respect for your mother, so severing ties with her ( "C" ) isn't either. That leaves only "A," which is probably something you knew already. :)

I'd go with A) and hope for the best. Let your mom be happy.

Definitely A. You mum needs some happiness, and besides, she wont remain single because you tell her too if she really likes the man.

I would also go with 'A'! No reason to be mad since it's normal for someone as young as your mother to not want to spend the rest of her life alone. I understand this is all new to you and you might feel like your mother is somehow 'betraying' your father, but it's not like that in her mind. For all you know, maybe they talked about this in private before he died and he gave her permission that after she healed she could move on and find someone else. Besides, both of these people went through similar experiences and they understand what the other went through. Having someone around that understands might be best for both of them. If he is a good man, then try to be happy for your mother. You don't have to call him "dad" if things get serious, but try to get along for the sake of your mother. However, if he treats her like dirt, then feel free to beat him up.

You don't actually say what your opinion of the guy is. If you've not met him yet, wait until you have met him, then judge him. If you have, but you don't like him, talk to your mum about it. Although, option A really is the most sensible...maybe C if you really don't get on with him.

My father died at age 52 , I was 16, two weeks before Christmas '2000 and my mother is 46 years old. Today I learned that she has met someone new, a guy my father knew, a friend of my uncle (my fathers brother) and I hear he is a good man. His wife past away three years ago from cancer and she was a friend of my mothers and they worked in the same field for the same company.
My question is 'what should I do?'. A) I could let them be together and let my mother be happy for the first time in about 5 years B) I could beat this man to a bloody pulp and defend my fathers honor or C) I could move out, let them be and never come back from America were I am going to school next year.

What do you think and please ad something else if the options are ot good enough.

I need REAL answers so if you are just going to punk around don't post here. Thank you.


Honestly, in this scenario, I would do both B. and C.-beat the crap out of him, then move to America and never return. Well....move to Canada and never return. :D It all depends on you, man. I know it would still have to hurt from your father's passing, and the idea of your mother being with someone new has to suck. I know I wouldn't handle it well at all. So really, I'm not going to say something cliche like your mum has the right to be happy or some such; you really have to decide this on your own. But if you think he is a good man and can make your mother happy, then allow it; if it upsets you, simply go ahead and move to America. The less contact with them might take your mind off of it; and in America, there is a lot to distract you.