NationStates Jolt Archive

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.

gal = girl? :confused:

i'm only dutch, don't be angry :-)



edit: nevermind

Find a guy you want to "lay one on" and lay one on him! There, not random at all.

Seriously, if you never make a move, you will stay in the same place.

I’m 19 yrs. old...

blahblahblahblah

..... my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it.

blahblahblahblah.....

There, does that clear up the problem a bit for you?

Need picture to clarify your problem Better. :D

J/k

Well, you just sound more in a traditional sense to me. With the 'looking for serious relationship'.

Anyway, I suggest you do go out on dates, It doesn't mean your in a relationship you know. take it as 'just getting to know someone better'. You have guy friends right?

Just maybe invite them out for a lunch or movie or something. Your young, learn to experiment a little. Get to know the many different types of characteristics and qualities different guys have. So that as your older, you can choose who you want to have a serious relationship with.

Imagine you have a serious relationship with a guy, who's a real stinge. But because you don't know any better, you'd be stuck with him.

Well, same thing as the other thread, really.

Go out, do somethign that interests you, you meet people who share your interests, you end up liking htem, they end up liking you, things progress. Don't go look for someone, looking doesn't get anyone anywhere. It will happen when you're looking the least.

I wouldn't reccomend the holding off for serious relationships... for one thing, all romantic relationships start with casual aquaintance, they start with a casual date, a date is not a commitment to hop into bed or to hop into a lifelong commitment, that's what distinguishes "dating" from "going out" from "engagement" from "marriage". It will start casual, and if you're compatible, it will escalate into serious... if not, no harm, no foul, you just go your separate ways/become friends/whatever.

just give it some time. you're 19 so theres no reason to really worry. this isn't the age where everyone gets married right after high school anymore.

Burgman-Allen, I've never been kissed either - I'm a guy (16 yrs old) and we seem to have similar methods in dealing with relationships . . . don't sweat it; you'll meet someone someday

Don't rush things. Age is not an indicator of when something should happen. When it's with the right guy, and for the right reason, you'll know it.

meh, I was 19 before I kissed anyone.

Met a beautiful girl, fell in love, now we live together.

Whatever works for you. It doesn't matter what other people think.

Burgman-Allen, I've never been kissed either - I'm a guy (16 yrs old) and we seem to have similar methods in dealing with relationships . . . don't sweat it; you'll meet someone someday
There ARE other losers? I thought I was alone.

All I can do is share your pain...

And also :fluffle: !

There ARE other losers? I thought I was alone.

Yeah, I was a loser until I joined the Army back in 1987. Then I met plenty of women who were anxious to kiss, and anything else.

Funny, when I was in college in 1979, the women weren't half as loose as those you find around an Army base.

Kissing is for n00bs :cool:

*points and laughs at 19 year old girl who's never been kissed*

Well, it is quite funny. I mean 19! come on. If you're that bothered you should just kiss one of your girlfriends, problem solved.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.
hey i'm in exactly the same boat here :(

I couldnt help but laughing....... :mad: but, its not that bad... u shud get practise...but...u WILL find the right person.....all you need 2 do is look! oh and shoot people... :sniper: and urm.... well....it looks bright and cheerfull from ther....

tehe :D :gundge: :eek:

*points and laughs at 19 year old girl who's never been kissed*

Well, it is quite funny. I mean 19! come on. If you're that bothered you should just kiss one of your girlfriends, problem solved.

Hey, I'm a 19 yr old girl who's never been kissed, well not on the mouth anyway. I just don't see the point in kissing someone you don't like enough to want to kiss. It's really not a big deal.

There ARE other losers? I thought I was alone.

Well that just isn't a very good attitude is it? You class yourself as a loser and you'll become a loser, no-ones a loser if they believe they can be something better. Its all about attitude, I know plenty of dorky/unnatractive people who have come out of their shell. Start believeing your a loser and well, thats when you become one. Just stop thinking your a loser and you won't be. Simple.

First, there is nothing wrong or abnormal with being 19 and not kissed. Secondly, I presume you are dating. If not, I suggest you do so even if it is only a lunch date or coffee after school/work. Go to places where you will meet men, but always go with a girlfriend, not alone. There are places to meet men, other than bars.

Someday the right guy will come along and you will kiss.

In the meantime, here is something for you, :fluffle:

mmm......cheeese! mmm... :mad: :headbang: :mad: n e way... dont woz..ull find some... i kissed when I was 9...but u no.......

CHEER UP!

Hey, I'm a 19 yr old girl who's never been kissed, well not on the mouth anyway. I just don't see the point in kissing someone you don't like enough to want to kiss. It's really not a big deal.

If it's not that bigger deal, then why post about it on the internet? You're obviously both quite bothered about it so why not just get it over and done with rather than moaning about it. I didnt think kissing someone was really a big anymore, most of my friends kissed someone when they were like 13/14, you both seem very odd to me....

Well, it is quite funny. I mean 19! come on. If you're that bothered you should just kiss one of your girlfriends, problem solved.

Take a picture when your kissing her. And post it over the internet. So that we can legitimise it and congratulate you whole heartedly, just to show that we care. :)

If it's not that bigger deal, then why post about it on the internet? You're obviously both quite bothered about it so why not just get it over and done with rather than moaning about it. I didnt think kissing someone was really a big anymore, most of my friends kissed someone when they were like 13/14, you both seem very odd to me....

I'm not the person who started this thread, I was just trying to give her a little encouragement, you know, let her know she's not the only one. I don't think mentioning it proves that it's a big deal to me.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.

Smash your head against the wall... then you might see things diferrently! 19YRS OLD!

Who cares about not getting kissed at 19? There's college. Meet the right guy there, get married after college. Then kiss! Or just tell your girls you wanna wait till you feel strongly for a guy before you kiss him.

I'm not the person who started this thread, I was just trying to give her a little encouragement, you know, let her know she's not the only one. I don't think mentioning it proves that it's a big deal to me.

ooooh :mad: sure ya wernt.... :mad: sure....

Maybe my prior post wasn't obvious enough.

19 and looking for a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP on the first few dates!!!???!

That is how you get a guy at that age to go away, not come close! Sheesh!

meh, I was 19 before I kissed anyone.

Met a beautiful girl, fell in love, now we live together.

Whatever works for you. It doesn't matter what other people think.

How come you love her, but you're not married?

How come you love her, but you're not married?
because not everyone wants to get married instantly

How come you love her, but you're not married?
Perhaps they aren't ready for marriage and/or can't afford it?

I lost my virginity when I was 14. I still regret it. Believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Don't be in such a rush. Things will happen when they happen.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.
Sounds to me as if you have a tiny bit of fear about relating to men. Perhaps you're concerned about opening Pandora's box? Human beings are very sexual creatures and a kiss is very intimate.

If you truly want to experience being kissed, try to be where guys are. I've not seen a picture of you, but I'd be willing to bet that you're not ugly. Since you apparently don't want a relationship, perhaps you're unconsciously giving off signals that you're not approachable. You need to find a good male friend who can tell you what it is you're doing to keep guys at arm's length.

I lost my virginity when I was 14. I still regret it. Believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Don't be in such a rush. Things will happen when they happen.


QUOTE OF THE DAY!

Thats a great reflection, Sdaeriji.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.
That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!

Perhaps they aren't ready for marriage and/or can't afford it?

Then why are they living together?

If they can't afford it, they should ask their parents for help, or find a church that will do it for free (a fair number of them do it for free in some parts of the country)

because not everyone wants to get married instantly

Then they shoudn't be living together. I won't live with a woman until we're married. (We will however, buy a house beforehand, and equip it with everything inside, then we'll move into it after we're married)

Then they shoudn't be living together. I won't live with a woman until we're married. (We will however, buy a house beforehand, and equip it with everything inside, then we'll move into it after we're married)
and not everyone wants to live by your moral compass

Kissing is for n00bs :cool:
Awwww :(


But yeah, don't worry about it, but at the same time, go on dates! You can't JUMP straight into a serious relationship. At least, not most of the time. It HAS to start casual. Otherwise you're taking a big risk...

Then why are they living together?

If they can't afford it, they should ask their parents for help, or find a church that will do it for free (a fair number of them do it for free in some parts of the country)What if they're not religious?

Then they shoudn't be living together. I won't live with a woman until we're married. (We will however, buy a house beforehand, and equip it with everything inside, then we'll move into it after we're married)
This may be a shocker but... everyone is NOT you

Then they shoudn't be living together. I won't live with a woman until we're married. (We will however, buy a house beforehand, and equip it with everything inside, then we'll move into it after we're married)
As far as you know, they've got separate bedrooms or something and are living together purely for economic reasons.

Furthermore, who cares what you would do? You are you. What you would do is not the same as what anyone else would do. End of story.

Furthermore, it seems extremely wasteful to buy a house beforehand and get all the stuff for it months before you plan on moving into it.

It would be a lot more easy to you if you just love yourself a LOT!
My narcicism has never been a problem to me. I just tend to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring my face and perfecting my haircut.
There was once a girl who was totally crazy about me and also shoved it but I really couldn't care less 'cause I was in love with my own picture. I knew I hurt her feelings but what could I do?
It indeed sounds like the legend of Narcissos and the nymph. Just love yourself and everything goes well. (Hope you don't know the ending of the legend of Narcissos)

Then why are they living together?

If they can't afford it, they should ask their parents for help, or find a church that will do it for free (a fair number of them do it for free in some parts of the country)
Who says they want to get married in a church?
Who says that she doesn't want a dream wedding and perhaps he wants to make sure she can have such a nice, spectacular wedding that she's been dreaming about her whole life?
Who says the parents can afford to help them in that situation?

What if they simply don't want to get married? What if they want to see how things go living together before committing themselves for life? What if they can't afford to keep separate place and are tired of roommates so they moved in together? There are so many possibilities and yet here you are, telling other people what they should and should not do with their lives when you don't even know the situation.

A girl I know at work has been engaged to her boyfriend for some time, they haven't got married because they can't afford to do so right now and they actually want a nice wedding. They live together for economic reasons, plus they are about to have a child, thus living together makes it easier for both parents to be around the kid.

this is one of those situations where i would have to prescribe my old friend alcohol. i assume you have male friends, and you must at least like one of them a bit. when you're both drunk 'BAM' he won't try and stop you, he's a guy.

Hmm, I kissed a guy at 18 only cos he was tipsy and I was curious. If I'd waited for a boyfriend I'd be in the same boat as you. Really kissing isn't that great...ever had a mouth guard and tasted your saliva? Yea :-S
Sure you remember firsts, but don't do the cliche in the cinema, from what I've heard it sucks.
Do what you're happy with. If you really want to wait until a boyfriend don't worry about it. I can't say my boy contact's that great. My friends met them through clubs, church and jobs. I guess I pick the wrong jobs and clubs :p

There, does that clear up the problem a bit for you?
Yes I think that B0zzy is right.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.
I'm 20 and never been kissed, so I can see where you're coming from.

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I’m not ugly, but I would not call myself a hottie either. I’m pretty. I present myself as a serious, hard-working gal and my approach to relationships is more or less if it’s not serious, it’s not worth it. My girlfriends say that it’s ok that I’ve never been kissed because I don’t “need” or am looking for a relationship. That’s not really true. What I’m looking for is some (reasonable) advice on how to make myself seem available, without compromising who I am. Please don’t post messages saying to just pick some random guy and lay one on him, because if I wanted to do that, I could have done it ages ago.


My old girlfriend, who is a great girl and very beautiful, wasn't kissed until 19 either. It doesn't make you weird or anything like that. It just means you have different priorities than other people.

I've never been kissed.

No, really!

REALLY!

Oh fine, don't believe me :p ;)

I'd have sex with you

I'm 25 and I've never been kissed either.

Just pick a guy and kiss him. If you don't, it may never happen.

Thanks to all of you! *big group hug* You've given me lots to think about. It's not that I really have a problem with not having been kissed, but it helps to know I'm not the only one :p and :fluffle: to all!

I’m 19 yrs. old, and I’ve never been kissed…Is that a problem? I hope not... since I am a 30+ year old male who's never been kissed either. :eek:

I'd have sex with youWhat... no kissing? :eek:

I hope not... since I am a 30+ year old male who's never been kissed either. :eek:
:eek:

How come you love her, but you're not married?

Could be any number of reasons.

Like maybe they don't share your values on how a proper relationship should work. Not everyone believes marriage is required to prove your love to someone.

Or it could be that there are religious issues that are slowing things up. Perhaps they follow a religion that states that you cannot marry before a certain age (a close friend of mine is in the boat).

Maybe it is a family issue. Not everyone can throw caution to the wind and go all Romeo and Juliet and run out and marry against their families wishes.

Perhaps they also have the same problem I personally do. Marriage is expensive dammit. While married couples get certain tax breaks, in my case, those breaks are not enough to counter act the benifits I get from work that are only offered to single persons.

It could also be something to the effect that they want to see if they can stand living with each other before they commit to forever. Trust me, living with someone will bring out things in them that you had NO idea were there.

And hey, maybe they are, and he just didn't meantion it. Or perhaps they're engaged and waiting for the wedding.

Or maybe it's no one's business except theirs, and we should all just shut up about it.

Please don't think that I'm attacking you, I just wanted to point out a few things that most people who aren't contemplating marriage seriously tend to overlook.
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Now, as for being 19 and never having kissed a guy, don't worry about it. There isn't a set of standards that state you have to be kissed by a certain age or you're a loser.

A word of advice though, go out on dates, and don't insist on a serious relationship, because that does tend to run most guys off. There are only a few of us who have ourselves so well grounded in who we are and want to be that we're interested in a serious relationship.

Date around and find what you like in a guy, then you'll be better prepared to go man hunting later. Hope that helps!

Funny, when I was in college, the women weren't half as loose as those you find around an Army base.


LOL, So damn true! Why is that?! Hehehehe... Oh the good ole days...

on the same subjectish of this thread...

any females, aged 16 give or take a year who are looking. Brisbane(Australia) area...

*crosses fingers*

I'm 19 and haven't been kissed this week. Or this month actually.

Hell I'll kiss you if your that desperate, and I'll even throw in a cuddle to go with it.

I'm 20 and never been (properly) kissed.


My standards are too high.....-sigh-

<snip>
Yay for Zoidburg :D:D:D:D