NationStates Jolt Archive

This hot lesbian couple have asked me to provide sperm for their child. They've agreed to meet with my lawyer to dissolve all personal financial responsibility on my part. I've known the one on the left for over a decade, and the one on the right for two years.
What do you think a guy with no children should do?

http://www.quantumflash.net/rin_stephie.jpg

If you have no problems, then I'd say go for it. Yo're back from your expulsion or whatever it's called.

This hot lesbian couple have asked me to provide sperm for their child. They've agreed to meet with my lawyer to dissolve all personal financial responsibility on my part. I've known the one on the left for over a decade, and the one on the right for two years.
What do you think a guy with no children should do?

http://www.quantumflash.net/rin_stephie.jpg
Personally I'd go for it. The major problems I can see coming along the line would be if they moved away and you wanted to see 'your' child. But it's providing happiness and a child for a couple who cannot conceive themselves, so all the flaws are exactly the same as if you helped any hetero couple. Giving someone happiness is the best thing in the world, and if they will be truly happy with and for the child, you would be comitting a genuine act of kindness. There is nothing better.

I think you would be providing a couple with the greatest gift in the world. They obviously love each other and wish to start a family, and you would be helping give a child to them to love and cherish forever. They could possibly seek other donors, but they have chosen you for many reasons I'm sure. You've known the one girl for a long time...so it wouldnt be like you were dealing with complete strangers. It might mean more to you I guess is what I'm saying. I'm sure there may be mixed emotions for you because of the magnatude of the situation, but it all boils down to a selfless act of kindness that may bring joy to the lives of these women and a child. :)

Do you think they would make good parents? I shoulda asked that first.

My mind is pretty made up already (in favor of). My friend of 12 years (on the left, Corinne) would be the birth mother.

She's the sweetest nurse you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting, unless you're socially conservative.
Then she goes butch on your ass.

Just a bit of FYI to help.

This hot lesbian couple have asked me to provide sperm for their child. They've agreed to meet with my lawyer to dissolve all personal financial responsibility on my part. I've known the one on the left for over a decade, and the one on the right for two years.
What do you think a guy with no children should do?
I can only speak for myself on this. One of the thoughts that haunts me from time to time is that I may have unknowingly fathered a child while I was in Vietnam. The reason I mention this is that fatherhood ( and even moreso motherhood ) holds what for me is the closest thing to a "sacred" obligation. Children are our future, and their creation should not be taken lightly, IMHO. I can think of nothing more dispicable than child abuse, child neglect, or the irresponsible fathering of a child without concern for its welfare.

If you know these two well enough to trust your future child to them to raise, then by all means do so. But if there is the slightest doubt in your mind about the safety, security or love the child would have, then my advice is don't.

If you want to do it then do it, but make sure you don't have an inheritable disease.

make sure the other partner is there to share in the conception experience, she will otherwise regret it.

Also, be sure to video the entire thing and post it here.

Go for it man. It seems you're pretty sure that they'd be excellent parents, and, it's just an all around nice thing to do for your friend.

I think thats a very noble thing for you to do Eichen!

Im positive youve made the right choice! :)

I'd say do it, but it may be hard knowing that there is child that you gave life, but yet you would have no familial ties to the baby unless the moms decided otherwise.

Understand how valuable a gift you're giving them. You will ALWAYS think of that child. He or she will always be in your thoughts. I think it's a tremendous sign of trust and intimate friendship you are giving them. Friends like that are rare and hard to come by. Treasure them too.

Having said that, I think it's their responsibility to provide the porn. :)

Well, I said no because... come ON man.

Personally, if I were going to procreate, I'd make damn sure to do it myself. I wouldn't give a kid up for adoption and I wouldn't let someone else raise 'em. It's my genes, if I want them spread out I'll do it right!

Lastly of course, I don't believe in the 2-mother family. I'm old fashioned like that.

I was gonna say no, but after reading the thread, I had a change of heart and voted yes.

Go for it.

They're your friends, and I"m sure they'd be very happy if you gave them your sperm.

Well, I said no because... come ON man.

Personally, if I were going to procreate, I'd make damn sure to do it myself. I wouldn't give a kid up for adoption and I wouldn't let someone else raise 'em. It's my genes, if I want them spread out I'll do it right!

Lastly of course, I don't believe in the 2-mother family. I'm old fashioned like that.
*Checks Santa Barbara into a mental hospital*

I'd say it depends. Are they going to let the child know you're the father? Are you going to be allowed to see the child?

I honestly don't see a problem with it. Lesbians deserve to have children as well. They may have children if they choose. The man should freely give away sperm and not be forced to do it. If that's followed, I don't care.

I honestly don't see a problem with it. Lesbians deserve to have children as well. They may have children if they choose. The man should freely give away sperm and not be forced to do it. If that's followed, I don't care.
I'm not going to doubt that they deserve to have children, but do you know anyone who has two mothers? I do, quite a few actually. I'm sorry, but because of the lack of a father figure, which everybody needs, not to mention the endless taunting the child gets, they turn out pretty messed up. They end up socially inept, basically.

But go ahead. They're your friends, and its not like there not going to get a child some other way if its not from you.

I'm not going to doubt that they deserve to have children, but do you know anyone who has two mothers? I do, quite a few actually. I'm sorry, but because of the lack of a father figure, which everybody needs, not to mention the endless taunting the child gets, they turn out pretty messed up. They end up socially inept, basically.

But go ahead. They're your friends, and its not like there not going to get a child some other way if its not from you.
Yes, I do. My sister's friend parents are lesbians. They had artificial insamination to give birth to her.

I was offered the same deal but I turned it down because I wanted to be a part of the kids life..

I should have agreed and fought it later. Hot lesbian action opportunity lost...

Yes, I do. My sister's friend parents are lesbians. They had artificial insamination to give birth to her.
Really, I'm not generalizing at all, but from the people I've seen what I said was true.

I was offered the same deal but I turned it down because I wanted to be a part of the kids life..

I should have agreed and fought it later. Hot lesbian action opportunity lost...
You perv :p

"Hot lesbian action opportunity lost"? Most likely, you'd have to go to a sperm bank or something, NOT have sex with one of them.

You perv :p

"Hot lesbian action opportunity lost"? Most likely, you'd have to go to a sperm bank or something, NOT have sex with one of them.
That is true. They aks you to put your perm in a bttle and it is brought to the person that wants it. No sex.

You perv :p

"Hot lesbian action opportunity lost"? Most likely, you'd have to go to a sperm bank or something, NOT have sex with one of them.


This happenned some 15 tears ago and it was not gonna be artificial :(

I say go for it as well. I think that as long as you know that you're not going to be a major figure in the childs life (unless they want you to). I would sit down with them and decide exactly what you're going to be doing when it comes to actual fatherhood (like if you're ever actually going to be meeting the kid) and then take it from there. They apparently see something in you that makes them think you're a good donor, and I would take that as a HUGE compliment :)! Good luck with your choice!

This happenned some 15 tears ago and it was not gonna be artificial :(
Ouch. Sorry for being pessimistic, but they were probably lying. >.>

Ouch. Sorry for being pessimistic, but they were probably lying. >.>

No, they were quite upset. They later had a child by another guy.

No, they were quite upset. They later had a child by another guy.
Oh. Sorry to hear that... :(

Anywho, I've never met a lesbian woman (outside the internet), so I don't know what to say, really....

If it happens again, I'm going for it..

If it happens again, I'm going for it..
Don't hold your breath, though... It's likely to never happen in your lifetime again.

Don't hold your breath, though... It's likely to never happen in your lifetime again.

Not alot of mid 40ish Lesbians want kids anyways..

lol...You'd be surprised. ;) :evil

My neighbours are lesbians. I was dancing with one at a concert and told her that if she ever had me she'd give up women. She was amused, but did not take me up on the offer.

My neighbours are lesbians. I was dancing with one at a concert and told her that if she ever had me she'd give up women. She was amused, but did not take me up on the offer.
She's a lesian, of course she didn't take you up.

She's a lesian, of course she didn't take you up.

She had a husband once. Actually its kind of funny as these girls were both married and hung out together as couples. They then left their men for each other. They both have children.

Kind of an ego deflating moment for the men I would think..

She had a husband once. Actually its kind of funny as these girls were both married and hung out together as couples. They then left their men for each other. They both have children.

Kind of an ego deflating moment for the men I would think..
They must have been depressed afterwards.

She had a husband once. Actually its kind of funny as these girls were both married and hung out together as couples. They then left their men for each other. They both have children.

Kind of an ego deflating moment for the men I would think..
That sounds evil :(

Its like that "Friends" episode when Ross finds out his girlfriend is lesbian.

They must have been depressed afterwards.

I never met the men, but I see them coming over to pick up/drop off their children from time to time.

I have shared a few beers with the girls over the years. One is quite good looking and pleasant, the other is quite "butch" and a little gruff.

I figure she has penus envy real bad. I figure she is not so much a lesbian as a man in a womans body.

I figure she has penus envy real bad. I figure she is not so much a lesbian as a man in a womans body.
rotfl

I'm sorry, but everytime I look at the thread I think "Gee, I don't think lesbians can donate sperm."

But if you're okay with it I think it's great. Just get all the legal stuff like which parents have what rights and obligations down before hand. If you think they'd be good parents and are alright with someone else raising your child, go for it.

Sure, why not?

Wow, thanks members. I really thought Eutrusca and a few others would respond, but the overwhelming poll reaffirmed my choice.
To justify my decision to go through with it, let me say that all of your ideas about lesbians might be wrong. They do not have a wild lifestyle, by any measure.
Also, I've been friends with Corinne since I was 16, and she was 14. I'm 28, so I've grown up with this sweet soul. She's very maternal, and so is her fiance. Stephanie is a hardworking artist with lots to offer to her child, and Corinne.
I really love and admire them both. I'm happy to offer them this gift.
To answer a few responses:
make sure the other partner is there to share in the conception experience, she will otherwise regret it.

Also, be sure to video the entire thing and post it here.
She's so integral to my decision, and important in the process (well, as planned so far. My friends with children laugh loudly at these things called "early plans", though.) We'll play it by ear, but everyone has a place.

Well, I said no because... come ON man.

Personally, if I were going to procreate, I'd make damn sure to do it myself. I wouldn't give a kid up for adoption and I wouldn't let someone else raise 'em. It's my genes, if I want them spread out I'll do it right!

Lastly of course, I don't believe in the 2-mother family. I'm old fashioned like that.
Wow. You have a point, becuase it seems like people like you will always exist to make little man's/ladie's life a living hell. I guess there's nothing I (or her parent's) can do to protect him/her from ignorance in this big world. Too much ground to cover.
I don't know what else to say to that.
I'd say it depends. Are they going to let the child know you're the father? Are you going to be allowed to see the child?
Yes, actually they're asking me to be a part of the child's life, but only so much as I choose to. They are encouraging my involvement, but are legally and personally foregoing any obligation on my part. This decision has been going through the usual legal processes, as I've requested, before I promised a decision. To be honest, neither they or their lawyer have made me feel pressured in any way.
They're even paying my lawyer for all of his fees.

I just thought this was a great platform to ask for impartial help, and I received that.

Thanks peeps!~ :fluffle:

Yes, actually they're asking me to be a part of the child's life, but only so much as I choose to. They are encouraging my involvement, but are legally and personally foregoing any obligation on my part. This decision has been going through the usual legal processes, as I've requested, before I promised a decision. To be honest, neither they or their lawyer have made me feel pressured in any way.
They're even paying my lawyer for all of his fees.

Yeah, that would be my only concern, personally. I know I would at least like to be in contact with the child. But only so far as I wanted, you know? I'd like to be cool Uncle Matt. :)

This hot lesbian couple have asked me to provide sperm for their child. They've agreed to meet with my lawyer to dissolve all personal financial responsibility on my part. I've known the one on the left for over a decade, and the one on the right for two years.
What do you think a guy with no children should do?

http://www.quantumflash.net/rin_stephie.jpg


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........

the old 'dissolve all personal financial responsibility' trick.

Good luck on that one, it's statutory, not contractual in most states. (Why in the hell do you think that sperm banks are anonymous?)

If your lawyer agrees, go get a second opinion. He or she will laugh at you too.

I love wine.

Thanx guys. Here's a pic of my (cross your fingers) son's/daughter's parents luvin' in my room (Just try to tell me they're not hot lesbians!):

http://www.quantumflash.net/101_0156.jpg

Thanx guys. Here's a pic of my (cross your fingers) son's/daughter's parents luvin' in my room (Just try to tell me they're not hot lesbians!):

http://www.quantumflash.net/101_0156.JPG

Your going to have to pay child support, you know that right?

I do not know what to say to that...

Your going to have to pay child support, you know that right?
If you know something my lawyer doesn't ,about Florida-specific law, let me know. Don't sit on it.

Oh, I do have one drawback...
They're both Democrats. And socialists. :D

If you know something my lawyer doesn't ,about Florida-specific law, let me know. Don't sit on it.

Most states have a statutory requirement that the father financially supports his children until 18. It does not matter whether or not the child was intended, or the father was involved in his/her life.

As this is a statutory requirement, it cannot be waived by contract as it is void against public policy. (And therefore should not be considered a valid provision of any contract. For example, we could not write a contract that requires you to break the law; it's a little more complex than that, but you get the gist).

Now I am not a fla, lawyer, but I have been known to dabble in the NE (NY to be specific), which is considerably more liberal about these things than the south. Before I would ever recommend to a client that he can go forward with this type of thing, I would want some case law supporting my advice. Failing that, I would provide a good statutory analysis of the relevant provisions of the law and so advise my clients of the pitfalls of this plan. Then leave it up to him/her.

My concern in your case is that things are all luvey-dovey now, but in five years it may all go south, and you are landed in a paternity suit.

What I would ask your lawyer is:

1. What exactly are the provisions for child support in Fla. (And remember she may indeed yet move into another jurisdiction, but that is a whole other headache).

2. Is there any specific statutory language that covers this situation: If so what is it?

3. What is the relevant case law on this issue? (I.e. is it settled that child support can be waived in certain situations).

4. If not, what are you impressions under FLA law on how any potential paternity suit would play out? What is the down side? How should I alter my behavior to minimize my exposure.

I'm not your attorney, and I do not want to gainsay the expertise of the fellow you have retained. Indeed, he/she may well have a full grasp of the situtation. Nevertheless, I would want to know exactly what my potential exposure in this situation would be. If this were NY, my initial thoughts are that this is not a good idea unless you are willing to except that at some point you may indeed incur some financial obligation towards the child. (The other aspect is how much you feel you can trust the mother, but that is outside the purview of legal analysis.)

I just think you should be aware of the pitfalls. That's all.

Tell me to fuck off if you like.

I love wine.

*snip*- (Law stuff.)
Thanks so much for offering a lot of info at what I'm sure costs a lot of money! Highly appreciated, and I printed this page.
For about a year, this has been being tossed around between us, and for about 7 months has been being litigated, but without much energy.
Let's put it this way: Our lawyers share names on one sign.
I'm kinda blowin' with the breeze here, in an (uncharacteristically) optimistic fashion during the process. I've been taking the situation in on a more personal level, but may be taking the legal side for granted.

I'm told contracts can be drawn up to protect me.

I do trust the mother, really, with everything I have on the whole "trust thing". I don't know how much that says, but it say's something.

I really appreciate that advice, and I'm bringing the print to my (our) lawyer on Monday.

Thanks so much for offering a lot of info at what I'm sure costs a lot of money! Highly appreciated, and I printed this page.
For about a year, this has been being tossed around between us, and for about 7 months has been being litigated, but without much energy.
Let's put it this way: Our lawyers share names on one sign.
I'm kinda blowin' with the breeze here, in an (uncharacteristically) optimistic fashion during the process. I've been taking the situation in on a more personal level, but may be taking the legal side for granted.

I'm told contracts can be drawn up to protect me.

I do trust the mother, really, with everything I have on the whole "trust thing". I don't know how much that says, but it say's something.

I really appreciate that advice, and I'm bringing the print to my (our) lawyer on Monday.


Are their and your lawyers partners?

Are their and your lawyers partners?
I'm not sure, and I know what legal business partnerships are all about. :rolleyes: Long story.

I don't know how they claim taxes or anything, but as I've said, they share names on one sign.

I'm not sure, and I know what legal business partnerships are all about. :rolleyes: Long story.

I don't know how they claim taxes or anything, but as I've said, they share names on one sign.

I was only asking to see if there was any conflict of interest. As long as your rigths were fully explained first - and a waiver was signed to that effect - before having a single lawyer (or law firm) draw up this agreement as between the parties, I am sure everything is okay.

Really though, I don't know enough about the factual disposition to opine. These are just random thoughts.

I was only asking to see if there was any conflict of interest. As long as your rigths were fully explained first - and a waiver was signed to that effect - before having a single lawyer (or law firm) draw up this agreement as between the parties, I am sure everything is okay.

Really though, I don't know enough about the factual disposition to opine. These are just random thoughts.
As I've suspected (without any lawyer to soothesay), I'll assume you're right about certain things. No big deal becuase I plan on providing financial help, nonetheless.
As a firebrand Lib, I'm inclined to want no government intrusion or threat,
I understand that I should accept the implications and possibilities, but don't believe (given the current means) that I have much to worry about so far as being forced to cough up cash goes. The child will have a check so long as they live (not just until 18, things will just switch to investment accounts then, instead of checks).

I appreciate you filling me in. In fact, I feel like I owe you something (like a check :) ).
I'm gonna set up "the conception" for Wednesday eveining.

Thanks all.

As I've suspected (without any lawyer to soothesay), I'll assume you're right about certain things. No big deal becuase I plan on providing financial help, nonetheless.
As a firebrand Lib, I'm inclined to want no government intrusion or threat,
I understand that I should accept the implications and possibilities, but don't believe (given the current means) that I have much to worry about so far as being forced to cough up cash goes. The child will have a check so long as they live (not just until 18, things will just switch to investment accounts then, instead of checks).

I appreciate you filling me in. In fact, I feel like I owe you something (like a check :) ).
I'm gonna set up "the conception" for Wednesday eveining.

Thanks all.

Bah, you owe nothing. It's an internet forum, if people didn't want to post, they wouldn't.

But if you feel that you do owe anything at all, make sure that you go over the issues I pointed out in respect of fla law. The important thing is that you know your rights going into this; that's all.

Oh, and whatever you decide, good luck, and I hope you will be happy.

I love wine.

My personal view:

1) They should adopt. Plenty of kids who need a mom or two.

2) Them having your kid, rather than an anonymous donar's... I can only hope you have an extremely weak genetic parental instinct. I personally despise children, and never intend to have one, but, even then, I don't think I could treat a being I helped genetically encode as anything but my own child.

3) What happens if the kid decides they want a -dad-, too?

Now, I'm not saying its not a huge honor. But you're taking some -massive- risks. Considering the "Surprise!" possibility, possibly more than -they- are.

Seriously. Unless the one you're knocking up, and you yourself, have mega-good-super genes, adoption.