NationStates Jolt Archive


It's Friday! Time to eat a hotdog bun...and learn about Discordia!

Neo-Anarchists
11-03-2005, 11:23
Discordia is awesome, and I figured, Share and Enjoy!
Yes, YOU TOO can partake of the immense joy that is Discordia!

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Discuss, or fail to discuss!
:)
Emperor Salamander VII
11-03-2005, 11:37
Although I've always been more a JR "Bob" Dobbs kinda guy, I can dig the Discordians.

Certainly beats the Church of Euthenasia, although they've got a rather catchy "Save a Whale, Kill Yourself!" slogan.
Neo-Anarchists
11-03-2005, 11:42
Although I've always been more a JR "Bob" Dobbs kinda guy, I can dig the Discordians.
Sometime when I'm less lazy, I'll buy The Book of the Subgenius. It looks good.
"Through "Bob," even humans can learn to get with the times... THE END TIMES!"
Certainly beats the Church of Euthenasia, although they've got a rather catchy "Save a Whale, Kill Yourself!" slogan.
The CoE is sillay.
Really creepy, but still silly.
Emperor Salamander VII
11-03-2005, 11:46
I used to know a guy who was fully ordained in the ways of Slack.

Although I may criticise the new "American Imperialist" and the foreign policies and generally dumb ideas that often come out of the USA, having the freedom to start whatever religion you want and have it registered as such is bloody fantastic.

Remind me of that will you, the next time I'm moaning about the US?
Neo-Anarchists
11-03-2005, 11:50
having the freedom to start whatever religion you want and have it registered as such is bloody fantastic.
I think the most brilliant one is the Universal Life Church, a religion in which you can be of any other religion or none at all. Also, ANYBODY can become an ordained minister.

You can become a legally ordained minister, instantly, online, at this website. The Universal Life Church is totally non-denominational, interfaith and welcomes all religions. After you fill out the ordination form, you will receive a pop-up instant credential, which serves as your receipt of your ordination. Print it immediately.

As a ULC (Universal Life Church) minister, you can officiate one wedding ceremony or you can make weddings, funerals, baptisms, house blessings, etc. your business. You can even start your own ministry. The Universal Life Church is interfaith and non-denominational.
http://www.ulc.org/
Emperor Salamander VII
11-03-2005, 11:53
I think the most brilliant one is the Universal Life Church, a religion in which you can be of any other religion or none at all. Also, ANYBODY can become an ordained minister.


http://www.ulc.org/
Yes I know, I am already an ordained ULC minister :D
Neo-Anarchists
11-03-2005, 11:55
Yes I know, I am already an ordained ULC minister :D
Yay!
The ULC is awesome.
MissDefied
11-03-2005, 11:58
Of course you can build a house out of cheese!
Duh.
*gnaws the walls*
This thread is right up my alley.
I wish I had the time and mental capacity to follow it through!
Emperor Salamander VII
11-03-2005, 12:13
Yes, I agree that you most definitely can build a house out of cheese. However, the underlying question is how long would it last before I devoured it?

The answer, if you're curious is as follows:

1) For a small 2 bedroom bungalow of modest design - 5 day, 3 hours and 28 minutes *
2) For a typical 2 storey 5 bedroom family home - 2 weeks, 3 days, 7 hours and 42 minutes *

* Times quoted are calculated upon actual time spent eating and they do not include such activities as lemur fishing, spiritual debates with oak trees and cleaning of scales which usually accompany cheese-house eating.
MissDefied
11-03-2005, 12:28
such activities as lemur fishing, spiritual debates with oak trees and cleaning of scales which usually accompany cheese-house eating.
And I thought I was the only one.
Wow!
Emperor Salamander VII
11-03-2005, 13:29
And I thought I was the only one.
Wow!
Not at all!

In fact there is a small society here dedicated to the consumption of cheese houses. We meet in a teacup every other Tuesday (but only when the hedgehog points to puce, you understand) and pay homage to a crusty slice of lemon meringue pie that has been molested by an overstrength cup of lime cordial.

Quite fulfilling really.
Veritates
11-03-2005, 15:44
Discordians of the world BORK BORK BORK!