NationStates Jolt Archive

Long distance relationships don't work when one party isneedy and the other is insensitive/absorbed in other activities.

Long distance relationships don't work



Bingo~


Seriously though, feelings have an intertia of sorts to them, but in literally just a couple weeks you will feel fine.

I dont know how girls generally deal with breakups, but guys (or at least me) get with friends and drink until they pass out.

Long distance relationships don't work when one party isneedy and the other is insensitive/absorbed in other activities.
Too true. Long distance relationships need a lot of work, but if it is meant to be, it can work well.

Too true. Long distance relationships need a lot of work, but if it is meant to be, it can work well.

It is possible for them to work. Like above said it takes alot of work and commitment from BOTH sides. If neither of these happen then its no good. W

It is possible for them to work. Like above said it takes alot of work and commitment from BOTH sides. If neither of these happen then its no good. W
A LOT of work. But yes, if there is enough commitment, it can work. And possibly more freedom than normal.

Long distance relationships don't work when one party isneedy and the other is insensitive/absorbed in other activities.

Aww, I take it that things didn't work out with your boyfriend?

:fluffle:

I'm sorry. I know how hard long distance relationships can be, and I understand the problems that they create.

I dont know how girls generally deal with breakups, but guys (or at least me) get with friends and drink until they pass out.
Well, I have to work on an assignment.
Tomorrow and Saturday night I have to work. I suppose I can get wrecked after work... but then I won't end up getting my work done for next week.

I know after the end of my last break up, I was the one doing the dumping and it had been a while coming, so the first thing I did was toast my newfound freedom with my then roommate.

I don't really feel like celebrating, or doing anything. I just want to drown my sorrows in my rum and listen to sad songs and cry myself to sleep.

Well, I have to work on an assignment.
Tomorrow and Saturday night I have to work. I suppose I can get wrecked after work... but then I won't end up getting my work done for next week.

I know after the end of my last break up, I was the one doing the dumping and it had been a while coming, so the first thing I did was toast my newfound freedom with my then roommate.

I don't really feel like celebrating, or doing anything. I just want to drown my sorrows in my rum and listen to sad songs and cry myself to sleep.

Just don't hurt yourself.

Aww, I take it that things didn't work out with your boyfriend?

:fluffle:

I'm sorry. I know how hard long distance relationships can be, and I understand the problems that they create.
Well, we're talking, it's pretty much over though, he's reviewing the negative aspects of about our relationship and saying that he's going to drink himself stupid and take up smoking again. Is it sad that it's taken three days to break up?

*sigh*

Well, I have to work on an assignment.
Tomorrow and Saturday night I have to work. I suppose I can get wrecked after work... but then I won't end up getting my work done for next week.

I know after the end of my last break up, I was the one doing the dumping and it had been a while coming, so the first thing I did was toast my newfound freedom with my then roommate.

I don't really feel like celebrating, or doing anything. I just want to drown my sorrows in my rum and listen to sad songs and cry myself to sleep.

dont forget the all important fetal position :(

Don't worry, I won't hurt myself. Hell, it's most likely that I'll go to work tomorrow and come home and either cry myself to sleep or pig out on cookies and watch a movie or get some work done. I can't afford the time to mourn the end of a relationship i have too much fucking homework.

I won't forget the fetal position... with my teddy bear and all.

pass the cookies...its gonna be another long lonrly weekend for me...

Well, we're talking, it's pretty much over though, he's reviewing the negative aspects of about our relationship and saying that he's going to drink himself stupid and take up smoking again. Is it sad that it's taken three days to break up?

*sigh*

The break up has been going on for three days? You shouldn't be subjected to all his negative emotions right now. He's upset, and angry, and that's fine, but he shouldn't be going on and on about what an awful girlfriend you were. That's just not fair.

dont forget the all important fetal position :(
Or the wracking your body with sobs and dribbling snot and tears into your pillow.

he hasn't been going on the whole time. we were kind of trying to fix things and didn't get through the whole conversation due to me having to sleep at some point.

Long distance relationships don't work when one party isneedy and the other is insensitive/absorbed in other activities.
did you really need to learn that? seems pretty self-evident, no offense.

My only advice to you is not to talk with him for at least a week.

Dont answer the phone if he calls, dont call him, dont read emails from him, &c. &c.

he hasn't been going on the whole time. we were kind of trying to fix things and didn't get through the whole conversation due to me having to sleep at some point.

Oh okay. The way you said it it sounded like he was being a jerk and dragging things out just so he could tell you all these bad things.

I don't think that will be a problem, he's vowed to cut off contact.

did you really need to learn that? seems pretty self-evident, no offense.
It worked last year.

Too true. Long distance relationships need a lot of work, but if it is meant to be, it can work well.
i think i am perfectly suited for my long distance relationship, as bizarre as that might sound. i'm busy as hell with school/work, and when i get home at the end of the day i am cranky and snarky beyond reason, so i wouldn't be much fun to be around for 4 days out of the week. i do miss going out on weekends with my boy, but i end up having to work over the weekends so often that it's not that big a loss. i think my grades are probably a lot better because i don't have to worry about managing a relationship on a day to day basis.

that said, the boy is coming to visit tomorrow (yeah sping break!) and i couldn't be happier. there are a few serious down sides to living on opposite sides of the country, and all of them are going to be addressed at length tomorrow night ;).

It worked last year.
huh. well, i guess a hundred chimps typing are bound to produce Shakespeare once in a while...:P

huh. well, i guess a hundred chimps typing are bound to produce Shakespeare once in a while...:P
well, last year he also had a job and wasn't stressed out by all these debt worries like he is now. i also didn't have an after school job. and sicne he had a job, he didn't feel bad about not being in school, so he didn't feel like i was showing him up by having a job and going to school and all this. lots of really stupid things changed, really.

though to lighten the mood, they actually tried putting a computer in with some monkeys. they seemed to like the letter s it seems, as they kept hitting it. i think they also shat on the computer.

well, last year he also had a job and wasn't stressed out by all these debt worries like he is now. i also didn't have an after school job. and sicne he had a job, he didn't feel bad about not being in school, so he didn't feel like i was showing him up by having a job and going to school and all this. lots of really stupid things changed, really.
well there you go. it sounds like you knew all along that "long distance relationships don't work when one party is needy and the other is insensitive/absorbed in other activities." it's just that last year your relationship did not fit that description. perhaps the lesson you learned was that even an apparently strong relationship can change in ways that make it impossible to continue?

i guess. it's funny that he blamed the job for me not being able to go home often, but really, i can't afford to due to school work anymore.
i do think that if he was employed this wouldn't be such a big deal either. he would be busy too and not be sitting at home all the time doing nothing.

i guess. it's funny that he blamed the job for me not being able to go home often, but really, i can't afford to due to school work anymore.
i do think that if he was employed this wouldn't be such a big deal either. he would be busy too and not be sitting at home all the time doing nothing.
i'd agree with that. i know my relationship would be much more strained if my boyfriend weren't also busting his butt in school. we both have had to admit that we are probably able to focus more and perform better being apart than we would if we were together right now, though that is partly because if we had stayed in the same place this year we would have moved in together...when you are working out the kinks of living together for the first time it can sort of eclipse a lot of your life.

It isnt the best idea to have a relationship with someone who isnt going to university.

Too true. Long distance relationships need a lot of work, but if it is meant to be, it can work well.
Explain "if it's meant to be," please.

It isnt the best idea to have a relationship with someone who isnt going to university.
but...we've already been! if he were still going to university then he would be a Super Senior.

we had actualyl talked about moving in together for next year.

he took too long to deceide whether he would be attending school or not though and i needed to sign a lease becasue this place wasn't going to be here for me...

but...we've already been! if he were still going to university then he would be a Super Senior.


I meant that for dakini, not you.

I suppose i'll reprhase it to include people who didnt go to university at all.

I meant that for dakini, not you.

I suppose i'll reprhase it to include people who didnt go to university at all.
hehe, i was just being a pill.

i've got to agree with you, though i am sure that makes me a horrid snob. i don't know if i would honestly consider dating somebody who hadn't at least gone to university.

he went to college...

do i offer to give him back the necklace he gave me?

do i offer to give him back the necklace he gave me?
You could, but unless it was of some sort of importance to him (family heirloom or some crap like that) I doubt it would matter.

fuck. the conversation took a positive turn... we were being civil toe each other and then he took a cheap shot and i got pissed off and well, that's it.

Two things.

1. I don't think that will be a problem, he's vowed to cut off contact.
:eek:

That doesn't sound very nice...

2. You said "long distance relationship"? Just how "distant" is this relationship, geophysically?

Or the wracking your body with sobs and dribbling snot and tears into your pillow.
Okay, that's a little more detail that is strictly necessary. :p

i think my grades are probably a lot better because i don't have to worry about managing a relationship on a day to day basis.
"Day-to-day basis" implies that you would see him every day. Isn't seeing your significant other every day a bit much? ...even for short-distance relationships?

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

"Day-to-day basis" implies that you would see him every day. Isn't seeing your significant other every day a bit much? ...even for short-distance relationships?

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

Not to be crass, Coggy, but some people like to have sex a lot. Often. :D

2. You said "long distance relationship"? Just how "distant" is this relationship, geophysically?
A 45 min drive, but since neither of us drive really, two hours by bus. Except when I'm at home when it's 10 mins down the street walking.

It's long distance enough that I can't call him since my long distance got cut.

Not to be crass, Coggy, but some people like to have sex a lot. Often. :D
I'm sorry, I'm getting confused. Mea Culpa. I had the initial dating phase in mind, the part of the relationship before sex.

i think they also shat on the computer.
This is also more than we strictly need to know. :p

hehe, i was just being a pill.

i've got to agree with you, though i am sure that makes me a horrid snob. i don't know if i would honestly consider dating somebody who hadn't at least gone to university.
A horrid snob? If you were unduly rude towards someone in casual conversation because they didn't go to college, then that would make you a horrid snob. However, your going to be pickier when choosing a lifelong amte than when you're just choosing who to be polite to or who be friends with. ...and you should be pickier.

Anyway, Daikini, I hope you get over this breakup. You're going to be okay, and I think you know that. ;)

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

fuck. the conversation took a positive turn... we were being civil toe each other and then he took a cheap shot and i got pissed off and well, that's it.
That's like everyday talking to my gf

"Day-to-day basis" implies that you would see him every day. Isn't seeing your significant other every day a bit much? ...even for short-distance relationships?

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
we would have moved in together if we had been in the same city, because that's the stage of relationship we are at. it's hard to not see somebody on a day to day basis when you share a roof :).

we would have moved in together if we had been in the same city, because that's the stage of relationship we are at. it's hard to not see somebody on a day to day basis when you share a roof :).

One that's rather smaller than Bill Gates' roof, anyway. ;) I'm sure Bill could go a very long time without seeing his wife in that compound of his. :D

I'm sorry, I'm getting confused. Mea Culpa. I had the initial dating phase in mind, the part of the relationship before sex.

Ummm...some people have sex and continue dating. That's not my personal practice, but a lot of my friends do that.