NationStates Jolt Archive

ANSWER ME!!

At university when I first met one of my new flatmates he told me this corker of a lie:
He claims that for some reason that I forget that he was threatened by 12 blokes with baseball bats on Stirling Bridge. He then threw one of the guys off the bridge and the rest of them backed off/ran away. Now Stirling Bridge isn't that high but the river is shallow, and I'm willing to bet that being thrown off the bridge counts as a fatality - heck some guy died swimming in the river recently.

Anyway to reiterate: What is the worst lie you've ever heard? ANSWER ME!!
(ps: no crap about George Bush/Tony Blair and WMDs etc. these have to be lies told personally to yuo!).

some nutjob thought there were WMD in Iraq...and get this, youre never gonna believe this, apparently they could launch within 45 minutes

crazy world eh?


edit: no, i didnt see the last line of your post...

that i really explode
*explodes*

anything involving the mention of government intelligence..

My ex told me he had cancer in the foot, and kept limping to demonstrate his pain. He went on that he'd have to either have it amputated or have intense chemotherapy. Naturally, I was devastated and very worried, but in the end we broke up anyway (his choice). At that point, he told me he was going into hospital for his treatment, so a few weeks later I rang his family to see how he was. They didn't know what I was on about - it had all been a lie!!!

To add insult to a very nasty injury, I later found out he'd been cheating on me as well. :mad:

When my friend told me he was the one that didnt smoke all my weed and use all my nitrous when he was the one that was watching my house while I was gone.

Someone I once knew told me that he could shoot lightning from his fingertips! Seriously! He also said a lot of other bullshit, but this is the best.

A friend of my younger brother's once told us that his grandmother on his mom's side had died. She showed up for a visit a couple of weeks later.

Someone I once knew told me that he could shoot lightning from his fingertips! Seriously! He also said a lot of other bullshit, but this is the best.

I like crazy bullshit, tell more. I also had a 'aquaintance' who claimed he could fly and turn super saiyan.

I like crazy bullshit, tell more. I also had a 'aquaintance' who claimed he could fly and turn super saiyan.
i did do that once...pain in the ass to get ur hair back to its normal color :(

"The Holocaust never happened" - some Nazi skinhead

So some ditz was trying to get my attention one day, and then I told her "Forget you, I'm going back to my work." And then she replies "Don't worry I've already sent somebody to do the work for you." AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHH!

I like crazy bullshit, tell more.

OK, then. He also claimed that he could do the sleeper hold. When he tried to prove it on people, it didn't work. Surprisingly enough, he claimed they were cheating... :p

My ex told me he had cancer in the foot, and kept limping to demonstrate his pain. He went on that he'd have to either have it amputated or have intense chemotherapy. Naturally, I was devastated and very worried, but in the end we broke up anyway (his choice). At that point, he told me he was going into hospital for his treatment, so a few weeks later I rang his family to see how he was. They didn't know what I was on about - it had all been a lie!!!

To add insult to a very nasty injury, I later found out he'd been cheating on me as well. :mad:

How can that be the worst lie you've ever heard, you fell for it didn't you?

I think it's pretty funny really.

The worst lie I ever heard was something about Germany's peaceful intentions, but I can't remember it exactly.

The one I'm telling right now.

But wait! If I'm telling a lie now, then I must be telling the truth...which means I'd be telling lie...which means I'd be telling the truth...oh dear God! It's a paradox!

I promise, I won't come in your mouth.

"The Holocaust never happened" - some Nazi skinhead

That's a pretty big one, but I'd say for me, the lie that government is necessary.

The one I'm telling right now.

But wait! If I'm telling a lie now, then I must be telling the truth...which means I'd be telling lie...which means I'd be telling the truth...oh dear God! It's a paradox!

Specifically the Liar's Paradox (http://www.math.hawaii.edu/~dale/godel/godel.html#LiarParadox).

Specifically the Liar's Paradox.

That's a very creative name.

"You should try this website, nationstates. It's really cool!" ;)

No, it's not stolen.

That's a very creative name.

I didn't make it up. Click the link in the above post.

Originally posted by Whispering Legs
promise, I won't come in your mouth.

Nice of u to share that with us.

I didn't make it up. Click the link in the above post.

How very coincidental - that's the second time somebody has mistakenly thought that I'd credited them with creating a certain phrase or paradox. In other words, I know. ;)

Nice of u to share that with us.

seriously :rolleyes:

Ah! Cancer of the foot! That's a classic. I've actually used that one myself. Not to break up with anybody or anything, but I was tearing around on a pair of borrowed crutches, for shits, and ran into a friend. She said what's the matter? I said, it's the big C. Good times.

Now God's gonna give me cancer for sure.

The one I'm telling right now.

But wait! If I'm telling a lie now, then I must be telling the truth...which means I'd be telling lie...which means I'd be telling the truth...oh dear God! It's a paradox!

watchs as South Osettia explodes :eek:

"I've been stabbed 48 times, shot, beaten up...I'm lucky to be alive!"

Or, as I was thinking at the time, "No, you wouldn't be alive at all, asshole."

From the same person:

"I hit my head and lost my memory, man. It's really spotty for the last couple of years."

How convenient. Also, it's pretty stupid to cover for the rest of your bullshit with more bullshit.

Same person again: "I'm part of a thieves guild here in town. I was trained by my master...(Cue long bullshit story that I didn't bother to listen to)."

Yeah, a thieves guild. In a town of 20, 000 that didn't exist before 1939. I'm sure we have all sorts of organizations that sound like they came from medieval Europe around here. We've got the HQ of the Illuminati, too, didn't you know? Before I thought you were just full of shit. Now I think you need help.

Good Lie:
"Tobacco does not cause cancer"
Phillip Morris grand jury testimony.

all of the most pathetic lies i have heard were around here, actually...all sorts of people claiming they are tall, buff, gorgeous, genuis-level IQ, veterans of every war ever fought, dating a supermodel, etc etc etc. what makes these so sad is twofold; first, they are so obviously lies even over the internet, and second, people actually think that lying about themselves over the internet is worthwhile.

I know a guy who likes to get drunk and tell stories about all the adventures he's had. In one night he told me that he was in prison for killing a man in the early seventies, and later in the night he told me he was in Vietnam during the early seventies. He also claimed the Army did experiments on him. Weird guy.

How can that be the worst lie you've ever heard, you fell for it didn't you?
Yeah, I fell for it in the beginning, but I found out in the end, didn't I? My personal opinion is that it was pretty stupid to think I never would. The only plausible lies are ones where the chances of it being found out are incredibly slim, and this was not such a case. Only took a phone call, after all.

Also, it was 'worst' in the sense of its cruelty and clear inadequacy, as opposed to its unbelievability. I'm sure you wouldn't find it terribly funny if it happened to you (I didn't at the time, because I actually cared about the person in question, though I find his inadequacy semi-funny now), but if it does, I at least will be laughing :p

Ah! Cancer of the foot! That's a classic. I've actually used that one myself. Not to break up with anybody or anything.Well, it wasn't used as an excuse to break up with me, he told me that before we even started dating. Anyhow, he was the sorry one in the end :D *evil laugh*

The worst lie I ever heard was in a school drug education program, where they said of you did LSD once you'd be hooked on it, it would cause schizophrenia without fail in anybody if you used it enough, and that it could turn your brain into gel.

Guess who was sponsoring the program?
That's right! Our friendly government had the police come in to teach us!

When i tried to correct the good officer's mistake, he said "What? Do YOU do LSD???" and started getting all angry.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

"No mom. I'm not drunk"
*swagger*

[QUOTE=ProMonkians]ANSWER ME!!

At university when I first met one of my new flatmates he told me this corker of a lie:
He claims that for some reason that I forget that he was threatened by 12 blokes with baseball bats on Stirling Bridge. He then threw one of the guys off the bridge and the rest of them backed off/ran away. Now Stirling Bridge isn't that high but the river is shallow, and I'm willing to bet that being thrown off the bridge counts as a fatality - heck some guy died swimming in the river recently.QUOTE]

Twelve guys. With bats. And you wonder about the part with him tossing one of them off!? Sheesh... Please, tell you haven't had a chance to breed yet?

I promise, I won't come in your mouth.

You've HEARD that lie? Ummm...

Well, I've TOLD this lie a few times...

"Bend over; it doesn't really hurt..."

all of the most pathetic lies i have heard were around here, actually...all sorts of people claiming they are tall, buff, gorgeous, genuis-level IQ, veterans of every war ever fought, dating a supermodel, etc etc etc. what makes these so sad is twofold; first, they are so obviously lies even over the internet, and second, people actually think that lying about themselves over the internet is worthwhile.

That's not true. :cool: ;) :D

"The Second Amendment . . ." no, I better not start that

"I love you." :(

Here's one that isn't such a bad lie, but an incredibly silly one. When I was a kid, I had a friend who was into lying. He had set the alarm on his watch when to go home. Now, he was climbing a tree, and this watch began beeping. He climbed down and explained that he's got such a clock that can detect life-threatening molds (!) on the tree, and that he has to leave now because of this threat.

This is actually a wonderful idea, have to develop such a watch some day.

Also, it was 'worst' in the sense of its cruelty and clear inadequacy, as opposed to its unbelievability. I'm sure you wouldn't find it terribly funny if it happened to you (I didn't at the time, because I actually cared about the person in question, though I find his inadequacy semi-funny now), but if it does, I at least will be laughing :p


I don't know. I have a remarkable ability to laugh at other's misfortune, so I wouldn't be to sure about that. If anything, I would be disappointed when I found out the cancer scare was a lie.

some nutjob thought there were WMD in Iraq...and get this, youre never gonna believe this, apparently they could launch within 45 minutes

crazy world eh?


edit: no, i didnt see the last line of your post...

:headbang: That's for damn sure.

I promise, I won't come in your mouth.

...Indeed. *Worried Smile*

A dude once told me about a ship he had that he said was unsinkable....it ended up sinking and a bunch of people died....what a loser.

Also..."This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."

And don't forget: "The popcorn is fifty years old so don't eat it."

^^Told by my fourth grade teacher when we were doing some crappy science project. The popcorn was knew, she just wanted us not to eat it so she could eat it all for herself.

My first couple a years working in Japan I shared an aparto with a coupla guys. One of them had a girlfriend that he wanted to keep secret, I have no idea why she turned out to be a nice gal when we met her.
She had spent the night and was going to take a shower in the morning. I was eating breakfast and from the kitchen you couldn't see the shower. So He came into the kitchen, I got up and grabbed my towel and shorts to take a shower and he suddenly leaped for the kitchen door and said something like, are you going to take a shower!? I said yeah, he said wait a minute, I have to turn off the washing machine!! He then ran to the shower/washing machine room. Knowing the gal was in there I stayed in the kitchen. When he came back and announced it was safe to enter the shower room because the washing machine was taken care of I could hardly keep from laughing.
When I went in, the machine was on and empty. happily cleaning nothing. She had fled back to his room. her shoes were at the door, about half his foot size but he quickly announced he had bought them yesterday!

a kid claiming to be a programmer, and when i asked him what language he wrote one of his programs in, he said english...

On December 20, 1979, my ex-wife said, I do...

On September 10, 1994 she said, It's not you it's me and there's nobody else two weeks before she moved in with him.

One more,

The weatherman says,

Today the weather will be... :D

One more,

The weatherman says,

Today the weather will be... :D

I must add to that. I believe that the ground hog has to be lying. Here in Michigan (USA) I swear it is always winter until the END of May. Only six more weeks of winter my ass! Someone should shoot that damn groundhog! :mp5:

I love you.

One more,

The weatherman says,

Today the weather will be... :D
Famous last word.

"Tonight will be clear and calm"[or words to that effect] ~ Micheal Fish, the night before a hurricane hit SE England.

I promise, I won't come in your mouth.
________________>>>!<<<_________________

The Holocaust never happened" and there where never slaves oh and that adolf hitler never wanted to kill jews :sniper:

apes are human

On December 20, 1979, my ex-wife said, I do...

On September 10, 1994 she said, It's not you it's me and there's nobody else two weeks before she moved in with him.

ohh dude...that sucks ass, 15 years of marriage...damn dude... all i gots to say is...damn dude...

that my cousin way gay

The weathrman once claimed it was going to snow overnight. That seemed entirely plausible, as it was December.

The catch?

It was in Texas, and it was 85 outside that day. He kept on saying for about the space of a week that he was absolutely positive the temperature would drop and it would snow. Eventually they just fired him.

(this is not a lie) you people fall for things too easy all i can say you guys are a bunch of suckers :sniper: :upyours:

God is real

God doesn't exist

Both lies and both truths from certain points of view

(this is not a lie) you people fall for things too easy all i can say you guys are a bunch of suckers :sniper: :upyours:
What was that about?
:confused:

Jaime Oliver is straight..... Yeah, and I'm Ray Charles.

(this is not a lie) god does not exist so stop worshiping its not real jesus is not the son of god so do not beleave that he is. and religion is not real life would be 100x better without religion. :sniper:

What was that about?
:confused:

crap! Pasted wrong message!

I think I need sleep. :headbang:

(this is not a lie) you people fall for things too easy all i can say you guys are a bunch of suckers :sniper: :upyours:


Dude, did you forget your medication again today? ;)

crap! Pasted wrong message!

I think I need sleep. :headbang:
me too lol

That HIV can be contracted through sweat and tears, touching genitals can result in pregnancy, and that a 43-day-old foetus is a thinking person. That abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, half the gay male teenagers in the US have tested positive for HIV, and condoms fail to prevent transmission of HIV in 31% of incidences of heterosexual intercourse.

and who do we have to thank for such bull?
Yep, you guessed it! Your friendly neighbour hood Bush administration. Thank you, for spending $170m on lying to our children.

That if you do terrible things, but you repent you won't go to Hell, while doing good things for your entire life will get you to Hell if you aren't Christian.

Problem is I did it twice! I was quick enough to erase it the first time :D

A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser.

A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser.
HA p053r indeed...

Oh, yeah. And that if you sin and don't repent, you will burn in the fires of hell forever and ever in torture and agony. But God loves you...

A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser.


What are we? 12?!
Can we actually have some post-pubescent people on here?

What are we? 12?!
Can we actually have some post-pubescent people on here?
*sighs*
You're new here, aren't you?

Some one told me my ex-gf wasn't a few fries short of a happy meal.

*sighs*
You're new here, aren't you?

New to the UN... just bothered to join because I thought there might actually be ineteresting debates. Instead I find kids who think they're hard when they say things like
"A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser."

that my ex girlfriends wasnt cheating on me :mad:

New to the UN... just bothered to join because I thought there might actually be ineteresting debates. Instead I find kids who think they're hard when they say things like
"A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser."
That's mostly what you get in general forum. Or big debate (read: argument) threads.

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction" By Bush.

Greatest lie ever.

*sighs*
You're new here, aren't you?


LOL.....Probably, otherwise they would know that most people on here post the same psychotic bull sh*t every day that they get on here. Basically, most people in the NS forums have only four things on their minds:
*Sex
*Hating/Defending Religion
*Hating/Defending the American government and/or it's leaders or policies
*and sex (oops, think I mentioned that one already!)

So, if you were expecting to find mature and overly friendly people, this is probably NOT the right website to be on. People here tend to be quite close-minded and immature. People here like to trash other people on here. No matter how hard people try, the world doesn't grow up. Get used to it, okay? ;)

Welcome to the world.

Thank you :)

ANSWER ME!!

At university when I first met one of my new flatmates he told me this corker of a lie:
He claims that for some reason that I forget that he was threatened by 12 blokes with baseball bats on Stirling Bridge. He then threw one of the guys off the bridge and the rest of them backed off/ran away. Now Stirling Bridge isn't that high but the river is shallow, and I'm willing to bet that being thrown off the bridge counts as a fatality - heck some guy died swimming in the river recently.

Twelve guys. With bats. And you wonder about the part with him tossing one of them off!? Sheesh... Please, tell you haven't had a chance to breed yet?
Well maybe he had pissed off a passing baseball team.
And I don't see anywhere in the original story that he had tossed one of them off! That's even worse than throwing him off the bridge.

New to the UN... just bothered to join because I thought there might actually be ineteresting debates. Instead I find kids who think they're hard when they say things like

"A friend of mind told me that he's so smooth can sleep with any women he wants.

Hah. As if, poser."

I'm 20 yrs of age btw. And you are hearing the 'Worst lie' I've ever heard.

C'mon.. Not every thread here is going to be a serious political discussion or an interesting deep thinking, mind provoking debate.

"I've built a lightsaber" and "I'm building a rail gun in my garage." Not props or mock ups of either, the dude claimed that he was building a real version of both.

And it wasn't some paste eating high schooler, dude was college age. No word on the paste eating.

I never really questioned him on the logistics of building a rail gun, I was more interested in the why-why he was building a rail gun.

"Six million Jews died in a holohoax"

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

"I'm building a real Gundam with a fully functioning cockpit system. Also, Amy Lee is my cousin's sister."

The phrase "compassionate conservative."

Oh, alright. How about when my unliscensed sister told me she'd fix my car if I didn't tell mom and dad she was the one that side swiped the RV with my car. I took the blame and 20 years later the bitch still owes me.

Jesus loves me.

"Australia will not be sending any more troops to Iraq."

Well, it's up there anyway.

I was walking down the street w/my best friend and we could hear a chainsaw and she told me "he was a chainsaw massacre dude who'd just been realeased from prison" or something along those lines... and the really sad thing is I believed her... golly I'm a guilable little potato :p