NationStates Jolt Archive

Inspired by the "out of the closet" topic. I thought I'd go and talk about some things that have happened in my life recently.

First off I go to a VERY accepting high school, actually it's K-12 and <500 people in all 13 grades, but the point is that at this school, you almost feel left out if you're straight. I'm straight, so that's why I know this. Many of my friends are bi, and some are gay. A few are trans. A couple are still working it out, and virtually all are open to anything, like me.

Well, the thing is this: I know two trans people. One went to my school last year, doesn't come here anymore but sometimes shows up to visit. I'll call her "Jenny". I met her as a female, so I'm used to it. I suppose I always knew she must have gone through a lot of shit to get where she is, but I never thought about it much. Well, in the last approximately month and a half, I've had a very rude awakening. The first part was when I was at the birthday party of this guy friend I asked out shortly afterward. Jenny was invited and said she was coming, but then she never showed up. As this guy and the other girl who was there speculated on why, I got to hear some interesting stories from way back when before I came to this school, when she was in transition and they accidentally made some mistakes like calling her by her original name.
Sometime recently, I heard that this "girl" who already goes by her last name, I'll say "Smith", is trans. I don't talk to her much, so I didn't bother to evaluate my feelings on the subject. I figured my little opinion didn't really matter.
Then the other day, that same guy who is now my boyfriend was hanging out with me in the library and here was basically our conversation:

Him: Your skin is really soft.
Me: *smile* Thanks.
Him: I wish mine was like that.
Me: Well, you can't help being a guy. *pause* Well, you could, but then you'd have huge gender issues for the rest of your life and lots of people would be unsure about dating you and*rattles off a huge list of problems with the idea*
Me: I guess that's how Jenny must feel all the time.

Naturally that startled me a bit. Now today, Smith made this incredible speech in English, it was a persuasive speech saying that transsexuality is not a mental disorder. It was amazing and she got about six rounds of applause, not that she needed to convince anyone of that, but anyway my point is: she devoted an entire paragraph to an official, very soulful coming out. As trans. So I guess it really has to be he now. And that's my problem. Not that he is a trans, or that I feel any prejudice against him, but that I met him as a girl. Right now, typing "him" and "he" is taking a lot of mental effort to remember to do. I still think of him as her. Yet I so don't want to make it harder than it is for him already by making some awful faux pas. I guess I feel some mixture of pity, helplessness, and fear of seeming like an insensitive ass.

It's only natural to feel that way.

Oh, and what city/state is that school in? Sounds like my kind of place. Seems like nobody gets shit from anybody.

It's only natural to feel that way.

Oh, and what city/state is that school in? Sounds like my kind of place. Seems like nobody gets shit from anybody.

Ever hear of the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side?" Just because the thread starter said that the school is a gay/trans paradise. Doesn't really make it so.

Edit ---

Okay, I think I see now. I guess I should've read the last two sentences.

It doesn't sound like a pretty dope school.

Actually, German Kingdoms, when you go to a K-12 magnet school that has high school lockers in the kindergarten hallway, 130-someodd people in grades 9-12, and is located in Multnomah County, yes, it is a GLBT paradise. Since a lot of that is the "B", we straight people still get enough of a dating pool, but let me tell you... as a heterosexual, you have to ignore how many queer friends you have to avoid feeling like you ought to join the party but really just can't.

That may be the majority, but it still doesn't mean that you should feel pressured into being like them.

It's not that I feel pressured into being like them. It's just that ever since I knew bisexuality existed, I've wished I was, but I just don't like girls, and believe me I went through a huge phase of trying to. Being in a school where queer is normal just makes it so I have to look at their double-sexed love lives all the time and think what fun they must be having. Of course now that I have a boyfriend I've kind of stopped caring. And besides, I guess they as the minority must feel like that all the time in the regular world, so I have no right to complain. I guess I was just kind of trying to make the point that everyone's so cool about it here, it would kind of stand out for me to accidentally refer to him in the wrong gender because there are no homophobic jerks to put that in perspective. NOT that I want there to be, again just making a point.

I see what you mean, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. I for one couldn't possibly imagine doing "something" with another guy... That'd be gross. I'm perfectly fine with other guys doing it, but I'm not having any.

What a strange school. If anyone had dared some out at my HS something bad would have happened to them for sure. Meanwhile one of the most anti-gay teachers, I won't mention the Father's name, was kicked out because it was revealed that in the past there had been 'incidents' with male students.

<snip>
Zincite, if only the world was like your school, in regards to accepting-ness.

Now *that* would be a great place.

Actually, German Kingdoms, when you go to a K-12 magnet school that has high school lockers in the kindergarten hallway, 130-someodd people in grades 9-12, and is located in Multnomah County, yes, it is a GLBT paradise. Since a lot of that is the "B", we straight people still get enough of a dating pool, but let me tell you... as a heterosexual, you have to ignore how many queer friends you have to avoid feeling like you ought to join the party but really just can't.

Multnomah County Oregon? I live in beaverton, if that is indeed the county of which you write. Either way I wtill live in beaverton, but it's more relavent if you kno wwhat I'm talking about. ;)

What a strange school. If anyone had dared some out at my HS something bad would have happened to them for sure.
Heh, that's like my high-school, where I got beaten up for "Acting faggy" all the time. If I actually came out as having GID, I don't know what would have happened to me.

In my personal opinion, I never agreed with the idea of Transsexuality (unless you are born with some gender-related problems, like a herm). Tran sexuality is not about gender confusion, it is all about society and the roles men and women play within said society.

Transsexuals may claim that they wish they would have been born a girl as opposed to whatever gender they are now, but in actuality they want to assume the roll of being a female. They wanted to be treated as pretty and delicate; to be put on the traditional pedestal that women are put on. Even with the accomplishments we've made today, transsexual 'men' cannot be pretty in terms of a transsexual female nor can females ever achieve the full spectrum of "male-ness". (Of course, you'll find a lot less women wanting to be men because tomboys are more acceptable in society then are 'man-girls'.)

In other words, transsexuals want some aspect or the full role of the opposite sex, but because of the standards our society sets, they can never truly achieve such a role unless they BECOME the opposite sex.

Before any uber-liberals start flinging fire-balls at me, I am bisexual. I've thought about this issue and other issues on sexuality and gender roles a lot trying to find my own place in life. Of course, I've came up with a lot of very on conventional answers that would have both the left and the right attacking me at the same time.


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Before any uber-liberals start flinging fire-balls at me, I am bisexual. I've thought about this issue and other issues on sexuality and gender roles a lot trying to find my own place in life. Of course, I've came up with a lot of very unconventional answers that would have both the left and the right attacking me at the same time with brozen candlestick holders. But eh.

Tran sexuality is not about gender confusion, it is all about society and the roles men and women play within said society.
As a transsexual, I must disagree. With me at least, it was because of negative feelings (I.E. depression, suicidal ideation, etc) were attached to the feeling of "male-ness". I don't know about other people, but that's how it was for me.

As a transsexual, I must disagree. With me at least, it was because of negative feelings (I.E. depression, suicidal ideation, etc) were attached to the feeling of "male-ness". I don't know about other people, but that's how it was for me.

So your thought is that isn't that of "being a femal is better". It's more along the lines of "being a male sucks"?

So your thought is that isn't that of "being a femal is better". It's more along the lines of "being a male sucks"?
Yup.

Yup.

Ditto for me. I don't know how it is for everyone else, though.

Oh. Looks like I have to regroup my thoughts or something.

Speaking of transsexuals, if you have a thick hide I'd suggest watching tonights' South Park. It involves Transsexuals and Mr. Garrison, although I'm not sure how far they're gonna go.

i think if i had told anyone in my school, i would have been in hospital within the hour...

Ditto for me. I don't know how it is for everyone else, though.
for me its just "this isnt right"

for me its just "this isnt right"

Exactly. But that leads onto the stronger one for me, which is to hate what I am, and I want to change it.

I have no idea how people'd react if I said, but I'm gonna find out soonish, I've decided on that.

Exactly. But that leads onto the stronger one for me, which is to hate what I am, and I want to change it.

I have no idea how people'd react if I said, but I'm gonna find out soonish, I've decided on that.
youve decided to do it?

best of luck, im nowhere near having the guts to...if you ever want to talk just drop me a tg