NationStates Jolt Archive

Do any women actually still go to school with the goal of "getting an Mrs."?

My mom seems to think that should be my goal in school.

She seems to ignore the fact that I already have a boyfriend... of nearly 2 years... and keeps asking if any of the boys at my school are "more than friends" and goes on saying that I'm going to need someone to take care of me... I'm just like what the fuck? I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself, I'm getting through a very tough major alright so far (physics) and when I'm finished school, I think I'll be able to handle things on my own. I plan on getting married at some point, yes, but he doesn't have to be rich, if we both work, I'm sure we'll do just fine.

She is just old-school.

I know she did that. She met my dad in university and they got married right after their undergrad, she worked while he got his phd and since then she's been a housewife.

She stopped working even before she started having kids.

I was talking to a girl on the train last week and she's like that. In her own words, "I want to marry someone soon who can look after me and my baby." The worst part is that her friend agreed with her. They were in school uniforms, I guess they'd be about 16. They said I (22) was not old enough for them. Guess you gotta be older than 22 to make the big bucks.

I was talking to a girl on the train last week and she's like that. In her own words, "I want to marry someone soon who can look after me and my baby." The worst part is that her friend agreed with her. They were in school uniforms, I guess they'd be about 16. They said I (22) was not old enough for them. Guess you gotta be older than 22 to make the big bucks.


That sounds... Stupid. Very stupid.

Do any women actually still go to school with the goal of "getting an Mrs."?

My mom seems to think that should be my goal in school.

She seems to ignore the fact that I already have a boyfriend... of nearly 2 years... <snip>
In a large country such as the United States, I'm not surprised. There have to still be a few women around attending higher eductation to get an "Mrs. degree".

I'm working off of incomplete information, but it sounds like your mother is trying to advise you based on personal experience. If she's happy with how her life turned out, well, that's all well and good for her. She means well, but you are not your mother. Of course, I'm probably telling you whaat you already know, so I'll shut up now.

Is there any particular specialty in physics that you're pursuing?

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

A physics major, eh? Welcome to the club :cool:

I'm studying applied, mostly so I can have an easy time of engineering school in 2 years. I'm looking to do most of my technical electives in fluid dynamics.

If I stay an extra year, I think I'll do astro.
I'm just in general physics though. I think I want to go on to teacher's college afterwards. While the pay isn't spectacular for teaching, it's not terrible. The starting pay is $40,000 I think and goes up a bunch after the first year (lots of teachers don't make it through the first year) plus it's something that I would enjoy doing (not that my mom wants me to do it, she's dead set on me going to grad school, I don't think I have the grades for it though)

I dunno, my mom seems to think that one needs to earn $120,000+ a year to live comfortably.

And yeah, she probably does think that she knows best, however, I don't think that putting me down by saying that I won't be able to support myself and will need a husband with a large paycheque to support me is the best way to go about it.

Puerile as this is, I cannot resist.

"does anyone still do this?"
Yeah, your mother.



Wooooo midterms week I need to get some sleep.

Do you have midterms in a week separate from classes?

I have them at the same time. I have 3 assignments due this week and two midterms and lately, I'm considering that a light week.

Do you have midterms in a week separate from classes?

I have them at the same time. I have 3 assignments due this week and two midterms and lately, I'm considering that a light week.

All my classes have decided to schedual their midterms and related projects and whatnot for this week.

Next week is spring break though, so I shall endure in the confident hope of a week of complete irresponsibility.

And yeah, she probably does think that she knows best, however, I don't think that putting me down by saying that I won't be able to support myself and will need a husband with a large paycheque to support me is the best way to go about it.

You may just have to live with her attitude, but that doesn't mean you have to follow her advice. My mom is the same way - she thinks that a woman without a man to support her could not possibly be happy. Even though my sister works 2 jobs and makes more money than my bil, what makes her life "good" according to my mom, is that she is married. You may reach a point where you will just have to tune her out, learn to tolerate her and agree to disagree.

As for your question of whether women still go to college to get an MRS. degree, I would say it is true. In my case, I was pushed into going to college by my parents and teachers who said I was too smart not to go. Since I had no idea what I wanted to do, I just kind of foundered there and ended up meeting someone I later married. I didn't go with the intention of meeting my future spouse - it just happened.

And I think there are those who see a college degree as something that makes them "accomplished" and therefore more desireable on the marriage market. Not that they would rely on college to meet the right man, but hoping that having that degree will help attract him, wherever he is.

That's just creepy. My mother would disown me for thinking like that.

All the women I went to uni with were there to get an education/further their careers, not to find a husband.

I heard of that still happening at conservative christian schools and places like BYU

My parents are ardently against me being in a relationship while I'm studying, or maybe it's just because they don't like my boyfriend?

Anyway, they want me to finish my degree with first class honours and then marry a nice Indian boy and specialise in superduper nanoneurosurgery... And have a few nice Indian babies.

My parents are ardently against me being in a relationship while I'm studying, or maybe it's just because they don't like my boyfriend?

Anyway, they want me to finish my degree with first class honours and then marry a nice Indian boy and specialise in superduper nanoneurosurgery... And have a few nice Indian babies.


I hope you aren't going to go along with this. Well, if that's not what you wanna do, that is.

I hope you aren't going to go along with this. Well, if that's not what you wanna do, that is.
Of course not. I'm still with my boyfriend, who's neither Indian nor fitting in with their description of "nice," although he really is a wonderful guy.

And I'm not going to be a surgeon, hell I may end up a GP if that's where life takes me. I just want to enjoy my work and family.

In the end I'm sure they'll stop complaining and just be happy for me, right? Especially once they see their grandkids...

Do any women actually still go to school with the goal of "getting an Mrs."?

My mom seems to think that should be my goal in school.

She seems to ignore the fact that I already have a boyfriend... of nearly 2 years... and keeps asking if any of the boys at my school are "more than friends" and goes on saying that I'm going to need someone to take care of me... I'm just like what the fuck? I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself, I'm getting through a very tough major alright so far (physics) and when I'm finished school, I think I'll be able to handle things on my own. I plan on getting married at some point, yes, but he doesn't have to be rich, if we both work, I'm sure we'll do just fine.

I know that's all I'm after.

Of course not. I'm still with my boyfriend, who's neither Indian nor fitting in with their description of "nice," although he really is a wonderful guy.

And I'm not going to be a surgeon, hell I may end up a GP if that's where life takes me. I just want to enjoy my work and family.

In the end I'm sure they'll stop complaining and just be happy for me, right? Especially once they see their grandkids...


I have no idea. Traditional people can be strange that way.

Personally, I'd be quite happy to find a wife that was earning big $$$ and it meant I could sit on my ass at home doing not much of anything.

Of course, she'd have to be rich enough to be able to employ a maid/butler since I detest housework.

Damn that'd be sweet!

Shame the woman I married isn't that rich. Not that it matters really, I love her deeply and that's all that matters.

Do any women actually still go to school with the goal of "getting an Mrs."?

My mom seems to think that should be my goal in school.

She seems to ignore the fact that I already have a boyfriend... of nearly 2 years... and keeps asking if any of the boys at my school are "more than friends" and goes on saying that I'm going to need someone to take care of me... I'm just like what the fuck? I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself, I'm getting through a very tough major alright so far (physics) and when I'm finished school, I think I'll be able to handle things on my own. I plan on getting married at some point, yes, but he doesn't have to be rich, if we both work, I'm sure we'll do just fine.

thats so weird for me to imagine... my mum's just like "yeah whatever you'll be fine?"

And well done on knowing thats not the point of school :)

Just do what YOU think is right. Follow your female spirit, Dakini.

Plenty of folks still think like that (especially in conservative christian areas). My younger sister is 16 years old and has plans on only going to college so she can meet a man get married but 23 and pop out a kid by 25 and be a housewife. That's her entire life dream. I personally think it's rather shallow and pathetic but I guess I can't expect everyone to be as intelligent as myself.

To each his (or her, in this case) own, eh? Yeah, I hear about that mainly from religious colleges (BYU, or Christian schools like Calvin)...

But that's not to say that it's a horrible life goal. I can think of a lot worse.

If I stay an extra year, I think I'll do astro.
I'm just in general physics though. I think I want to go on to teacher's college afterwards. While the pay isn't spectacular for teaching, it's not terrible. The starting pay is $40,000 I think and goes up a bunch after the first year (lots of teachers don't make it through the first year) plus it's something that I would enjoy doing (not that my mom wants me to do it, she's dead set on me going to grad school, I don't think I have the grades for it though)

I dunno, my mom seems to think that one needs to earn $120,000+ a year to live comfortably.

And yeah, she probably does think that she knows best, however, I don't think that putting me down by saying that I won't be able to support myself and will need a husband with a large paycheque to support me is the best way to go about it.


$40,000 starting salary!!!! No way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, how do you guys manage to have so much money??? $120,000 to live comfortably, I'll be more than happy on £20,000 ($35,000 ish)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meh it's not the worst thing but it's a waste of a life if you ask me. I am very much anti-reproduction though.