NationStates Jolt Archive

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect? or would you just say "Sex is wrong and bad, don't do it" and expect them to listen?

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect? or would you just say "Sex is wrong and bad, don't do it" and expect them to listen?


I would teach them about safe sex for best of my knowledge :fluffle:
But i strongly hope schools don't stop sex education

There was recently a study in Finland. It showed that during the depression in
early 90's sex education was lower due to a lack of funds. Anyway that generation has/had more STD's and teenage pragnansies than before or after.
It is very important

Starting from toddler years and onward, I'll always impart some information about sex to my future kids. From younger years I'll just let them know the proper names for their parts and let them know the difference between men and women. Later on, I'll let em know about pregnancy. Before puberty, I'll tell them about the whole technical stuff. During puberty, I'll tell them about birth control and the consequences of pre-marital sex.

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect? or would you just say "Sex is wrong and bad, don't do it" and expect them to listen?


I'd talk to my child.

I'd just let them loose on the internet and have them Google "porn".

Of course, this is all purely hypothetical, because I don't have kids and doubt I ever will. But I have talked to kids about sex before and I believe in honesty. It doesn't pay to get too technical and confuse them, but as they get older and can understand more, you can provide more information.

As an aside, I dated a guy whose daughter was taking sex ed in school. She was 13 and her mom didn't want her to take it, thinking that if she knew too much about sex, she would want to experiment. My boyfriend disagreed and finally told his ex that if she didn't allow their daughter to take the class, she was only going to hear the information from the kids who took it and it would probably be messed up.

Anyway, his kid took the class and they told her if she had any questions, she could ask them. She was too embarrassed to ask her dad and said that asking her mom made her mom freak out, so she asked him if she could ask me, and he said yes. She mainly wanted to know things like was it true you could get pregnant without "going all the way", and was it true that some women have sex during their periods. I answered her questions honestly and later on, when her dad asked me what we talked about and I told him, he got mad.

It's not like "I" instigated the conversation, and don't tell me to answer your kids questions and then get mad at me when I do. And I certainly didn't give any personal information, like "Well, your dad and I..." Ewwww. THAT would be gross. :eek:

I may seem fashioned but I still believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I would tell my children about how some people use condoms and birth control but I would REALLY stress the point of abstenence. I also would not tell them that sex is bad and don't do it because that is absurd! Then you would have people getting married and feeling ashamed when they go to have sex on their wedding night. I will teach my children that sex before marriage is wrong but when you are married it is a beautiful, wonderful, exciting thing that brings a couple closer together. Some people say that you cannot know if you should be with someone until you have sex with them but I say if you have no one else to compare them with then how are you going to know if the sex is bad?! It is not up to the schools to teach our children; it's up to us. This is our responsibility as parents.

I would hire a professional to teach my kid sex education. By professions I mean prostitute. What better way to teach your kids what to do and what not to do than to actually give them field experience?

Wow, this is the only poll where everyone agrees.

I would hire a professional to teach my kid sex education. By professions I mean prostitute. What better way to teach your kids what to do and what not to do than to actually give them field experience?

What?! Your poor children.

What?! Your poor children.
I believe you mean "lucky children".
:D

I'd just let them loose on the internet and have them Google "porn".

lol!

And to answer the question: Yes.

I don't want my child to find out about sex from their druggy-friends. I want them to learn from me.

Wow, this is the only poll where everyone agrees.
Yeah and a good things too. Another thing that I learned from hentai is the dangers of not teaching kids about sex. If you dont and you simply use scare tactics to make them afraid then they may never develop any from of a close relationship with anybody. Then some figment of their imagination representing their passage into adult hood will manifest itself and start chasing them around and scaring them even further. I believe South Park even touched upon the proper teaching of sex education and how the misuse of scare tactics can be detrimental to youths.

Ok, let's say you have a daughter. You bring in a male prostitute and, oops! The condom breaks. She gets an STD or worse, AIDS. This would be an extremely irresponsible and unloving way to teach your children about sex.

The real question here is could you morally allow yourself not to teach your children?

Nobody ever taught me anything, though. My parents thought the school would, and the only stuff I learned was in 7th grade, and that was just body parts. But it's OK, I'm a child of the internet. I learned plenty...

Ok, let's say you have a daughter. You bring in a male prostitute and, oops! The condom breaks. She gets an STD or worse, AIDS. This would be an extremely irresponsible and unloving way to teach your children about sex.
Here's a hint:
It was a joke.

I'd just let them loose on the internet and have them Google "porn".


I'd let them do that, and tell them to go to the rotten library.

lol!

And to answer the question: Yes.

I don't want my child to find out about sex from their druggy-friends. I want them to learn from me.
The question is, how much better is that?
j/k, of course

I will teach my children that sex before marriage is wrong but when you are married it is a beautiful, wonderful, exciting thing that brings a couple closer together. Some people say that you cannot know if you should be with someone until you have sex with them but I say if you have no one else to compare them with then how are you going to know if the sex is bad?!

Growing up, my mom always told me that it was important to remain a virgin until my wedding night, when I would give that "gift" to my husband. Of course, my mom and I never had discussions, it was always her preaching to me (BTW, she had me out of wedlock), so I opted to make my own decision.

My first time was when I was 18 and it was with a guy I had been dating for 4 years. We had talked about it a lot and we both felt we were ready. In reality? It was awful. We were both virgins and there was a lot of fumbling and embarrassment. But, I wouldn't have done it any other way, because it was with someone I loved and trusted, and afterwards I felt we had shared something very special.

I was not disappointed on my wedding night, either, even though I ended up marrying someone else, and I don't think my husband was either. Sex was one of the things that made us feel closer to each other, but since we had had sex before marriage, it only cemented in my mind that this was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

For the record, wedding night sex can be overrated. Most brides and a lot of grooms are stressed out before their weddings and just feel exhausted when all the festivities are over. I have read many articles that suggest that on your wedding night you not plan this whole romantic interlude, but save it for your honeymoon when you are better rested.

Anyway, the point I also wanted to make is about your comment that if you have never been with anyone else, you won't know if the sex is bad because you have nothing to compare it to. True, however that can also lead to disappointment. If you have never had sex, than you really don't know yourself or what you like. And you also don't know what your partner will like. What if you find out after you are married that your partners ideas about sex and yours don't mesh? What if one of you has a high sex drive and wants sex several times a day and the other is happiest with sex only occasionally? Yes, I have heard of couples like this, and it can cause many problems. If you have sex with your partner before marriage, but after you are in a committed relationship, you can find out if your sexual needs and desires are compatible and avoid problems after you say "I do".

My mom gave me an 80's book on the male body, when I entered puberty. The book was given to me long before it was discussed in school. Compared to health class it was more informative.

To answer the thread puberty and sex is not a dirty word and education is essential. So yes, it would be wrong for me not to talk to my child about sex.

who says im havin kids

Ok, let's say you have a daughter. You bring in a male prostitute and, oops! The condom breaks. She gets an STD or worse, AIDS. This would be an extremely irresponsible and unloving way to teach your children about sex.
There are ways to give experience without resulting in orgasms you know.

There are ways to give experience without resulting in orgasms you know.
Wait, were you actually not joking with the prostitute thing?
:confused:

I'm probably not having kids, but if I did I think it would be essential to let them know about such matters.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/16/opinion/16kristof.html?hp

(...)

Other developed countries focus much more on contraception. The upshot is that while teenagers in the U.S. have about as much sexual activity as teenagers in Canada or Europe, Americans girls are four times as likely as German girls to become pregnant, almost five times as likely as French girls to have a baby, and more than seven times as likely as Dutch girls to have an abortion. Young Americans are five times as likely to have H.I.V. as young Germans, and teenagers' gonorrhea rate is 70 times higher in the U.S. than in the Netherlands or France.

Some studies have claimed that abstinence-only programs work, but researchers criticize the studies for being riddled with flaws. A National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy task force examined the issue and concluded: "There do not currently exist any abstinence-only programs with strong evidence that they either delay sex or reduce teen pregnancy."

Worse, there's some evidence that abstinence-only programs lead to increases in unprotected sex.

Perhaps the most careful study of the issue involved 12,000 young people. It found that those taking virginity pledges had sex 18 months later, on average, than those who had not taken the pledge. But even 88 percent of the pledgers had sex before marriage.

More troubling, the pledgers were much less likely to use contraception when they did have sex - only 40 percent of the males used condoms, compared with 59 percent of those who did not take the pledge.

In contrast, there's plenty of evidence that abstinence-plus programs - which encourage abstinence but also teach contraception - delay sex and increase the use of contraception. So, at a time when we're cutting school and health programs, why should we pour additional tax money into abstinence-only initiatives, which are likely to lead to more pregnancies, more abortions and more kids with AIDS? Now, that's a scandal. "

You bet I would ensure my kids get a proper sex education!

Here's a hint:
It was a joke.
:eek:

Wait, were you actually not joking with the prostitute thing?
:confused:
Maybe I was, and maybe I wasn't. ;)

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect?

no, i would talk to them about those things long before puberty. my little brother and i both knew more about sex and contraception by the time we were in middle school than most kids get in freshman sex ed classes, and we're much better off for it. my godson is barely talking but he's already asking questions about where he came from, and i give him all the straight answers. i don't see any reason to pussy foot around when i talk about human body parts or bodily functions.

Wow, all of the "sex is immoral" people seem to be avoiding this thread like the plague.

Good, because we all know how smart they are.

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect?

Definitely NOT. I would do this long BEFORE puberty.

Sex education starts when your three year old asks you why that woman is so FAT and you explain that she is pregnant.

Absolutely! I would begin telling them just before puberty with the thought they haven't begun yet. I would tell them the full speal about sti's and birth control. With how crappy school based sex ed classes are I would prefer to teach them myself.

I may seem fashioned but I still believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I would tell my children about how some people use condoms and birth control but I would REALLY stress the point of abstenence. I also would not tell them that sex is bad and don't do it because that is absurd! Then you would have people getting married and feeling ashamed when they go to have sex on their wedding night. I will teach my children that sex before marriage is wrong but when you are married it is a beautiful, wonderful, exciting thing that brings a couple closer together. Some people say that you cannot know if you should be with someone until you have sex with them but I say if you have no one else to compare them with then how are you going to know if the sex is bad?! It is not up to the schools to teach our children; it's up to us. This is our responsibility as parents.

I agree! If I could do one thing over again, that would be it (in my life anyways). So I learned the hard way and just have to live and learn from it and try to teach my children why, but not lie to them. I have had long talks with them about how God intended sex and will continue to through their years.

My mom gave me an 80's book on the male body, when I entered puberty. The book was given to me long before it was discussed in school. Compared to health class it was more informative.

To answer the thread puberty and sex is not a dirty word and education is essential. So yes, it would be wrong for me not to talk to my child about sex.


My parents never told me anything, besides the time my dad picked up a pen took the cap off, put it back on and said thats sex.

I basically learnt about the physical act from watching porn tapes I found in the house. Other aspects I picked up from friends, tv and whoever else I heard talking about it I guess.

Sexual Education is one of the things that should be taught to your children from the time they begin enquiring about where babies come from. This education needs to be continuous until they are on their own and are making decisions on their own. Sex education doesn't have to include the finest details of the mechanics of how to have sex but only the most basics of how it's done. The main thing is that your children need to know the consequences of what can happen when they have sex. Pregnancy and disease are the basic problems but those things lead to the problems of getting pregnant or getting a person pregnant by interupting a person's life and the direction they were planning to go, to developing resentment toward the person you had sex with, despite the fact it takes two to tangle. The diseases can be devastating to either person involved from reproductive organs being damaged and the female being made unable to have children in the future to even death. In the long run it is a necessary lesson along with a host of others to teach your children that they are responsible for their actions.

There is an article in the July 2004 issue of the American Journal of Sociology, Chains of Affection: The Structure of Adolescent Romantic and Sexual Networks. There are charts in this article that show that even though your child may claim to be sleeping with another person in a monogamous relationship. Buit the article shows that in a High school setting this is far from the case. That in fact they can be easily be sleeping with more than twenty people, in that if their partner has had sex with more than one person in that past they are sleeping with the people those people have also slept with.

Teenagers do not think of things in those terms and it's up to their parents to educate them to look at things from that perspective.

Of course I would teach my child sex education -- whether the school does it or not, it's my responsibility as a parent!

Definitely NOT. I would do this long BEFORE puberty.

Sex education starts when your three year old asks you why that woman is so FAT and you explain that she is pregnant.

Yeah. Sex education is like any other education. When the child is old enough to ask they are old enough to hear the honest answers.

supposing that the schools refused to, would you talk to your son or daughter during or shortly after puberty about condoms, birth control pills, safe sex, ect? or would you just say "Sex is wrong and bad, don't do it" and expect them to listen?

Quite frankly, this is how it should be done. If I ever have children, I'll be teaching them prior to puberty along with the moral issues of the situation and the circumstances under which sex is right and wrong. All decent parents should be teaching their kids on this subject. Not doing so is a gross abdecation of parental responsibility.