NationStates Jolt Archive

1. All males must be circumsized..... and if your already circumsized, a rabbi will nick your eh... sacred place.

2. You must actually want to be a Jew, it's not all about free money and controlling the world, Our religion is approx 4000 years old! So basically we're the 2nd oldest living religion.

3. You must learn the Torah, so you know all the laws....there are technically 613 laws(?) but assuming you don't live in Israel, and since we don't have a temple.... it's probably more along the lines of 100. Just an educated guess.

4. When the Rabbi think's it's official, he'll end the process by dunking you in water, basically baptizing you, but with a different sense.

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.

Any questions? Can be about the after life, G-d, our religion, whatever. I think i can cover your questions for the most part. :)

1. All males must be circumsized..... and if your already circumsized, a rabbi will nick your eh... sacred place.

2. You must actually want to be a Jew, it's not all about free money and controlling the world, Our religion is approx 4000 years old! So basically we're the 2nd oldest living religion.

3. You must learn the Torah, so you know all the laws....there are technically 613 laws(?) but assuming you don't live in Israel, and since we don't have a temple.... it's probably more along the lines of 100. Just an educated guess.

4. When the Rabbi think's it's official, he'll end the process by dunking you in water, basically baptizing you, but with a different sense.

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.

Any questions? Can be about the after life, G-d, our religion, whatever. I think i can cover your questions for the most part. :)

Been there, done that. Conversion by a Conservative Rabbi. Did the bar mitzvah thing, too. Taped my light switches, ate kosher, the whole nine yards (including getting cut again).

You should add: The Orthodox may not recognize your conversion if done by Conservative or Reformed (Conservative may not recognize a Reformed conversion). And some Orthodox will insist you get your conversion in Israel, or by a specific rabbi - no one else will do.

In the Diaspora (outside of Israel), if a person says they're Jewish, you have to accept it as true. There is no official documentation that says a person is, or is not, Jewish.

It's why we Jews who live in the Diaspora tend to keep to very close knit communities and seem a little paranoid. Wait ... a little?

1 Do you actually have to beleive in god to convert?

2 Can I still eat bacon cheeseburgers served between two crabcakes instead of bread?

Been there, done that. Conversion by a Conservative Rabbi. Did the bar mitzvah thing, too. Taped my light switches, ate kosher, the whole nine yards (including getting cut again).

You should add: The Orthodox may not recognize your conversion if done by Conservative or Reformed (Conservative may not recognize a Reformed conversion). And some Orthodox will insist you get your conversion in Israel, or by a specific rabbi - no one else will do.


That's true, but that's because they're not really practicing Judiasm, just a way to be Jewish while living in the modern world.

Note to anyone: If any of you knows someone that converted, not by an Orthodox Rabbi, be sure to tell them, that they're not techncally Jewish.

2. You must actually want to be a Jew, it's not all about free money and controlling the world.
But we do get those things as well don't we? Otherwise whats the point of converting?

I thought Keruvalia was a Muslim and MuhOre was a Christian.

I thought Keruvalia was a Muslim and MuhOre was a Christian.

Keru converted to Islam. He was Jewish first.

I thought Keruvalia was a Muslim and MuhOre was a Christian.
Keruvalia has Jewish ancestry. His mother was a Jew, I think. He converted to Islam. MuhOre, to my knoledge, has always been Jewish.

Keru converted to Islam. He was Jewish first.

Didn't think that ever happened.

1 Do you actually have to beleive in god to convert?

2 Can I still eat bacon cheeseburgers served between two crabcakes instead of bread?


Q: What do you call a Jew who doesn't believe in God? A: A Jew

You still have to pray...but no-one technically forces you to actually believe in G-d, you can be an Atheist Jew. Even though you might not believe in him, you still would have to pray. :)

2. sorry... Kosher Animals only. Giraffe is kosher if it makes you feel any better though.

In the Diaspora (outside of Israel), if a person says they're Jewish, you have to accept it as true. There is no official documentation that says a person is, or is not, Jewish.

It's why we Jews who live in the Diaspora tend to keep to very close knit communities and seem a little paranoid. Wait ... a little?

Yup...but only applies to them, but i've seen Israel allow Catholics whose Great Grandfather was Jewish in. LOL



And looking through other posts, yes i am Jewish!, Kervuv converted to Islam, but still practices Judiasm...he's like Dual-Religious hehe.

Didn't think that ever happened.

Conceptually, it's easier. You go from believing in one God to believing in the same one God, but you give him a different name and get a different book.

Learn a new alphabet, and you're on your way.

Try explaining the Trinity to a Jew someday...

I don't want to convert, but I confess I really like lox on my bagel. :)

Didn't think that ever happened.
It did happen.

I have a question:

How to other Jews view Jews that believe that Jesus was the Messiah? In some ways, those folks are considered Christians; but they may still observe Shabbat, eat kosher, etc. In a very real way, they are both Jewish and Christian; maybe even more Jew than Christian to some.

So do other Jews accept them as fellow Jews, or would they be considered... I don't know, apostate or something?

<aside>
I'm a Christian (Mennonite heritage) with a tremendous love and respect for Jews, Judaism, Zionism and the Nation of Israel.
</aside>

Conceptually, it's easier. You go from believing in one God to believing in the same one God, but you give him a different name and get a different book.

Learn a new alphabet, and you're on your way.

Try explaining the Trinity to a Jew someday...


G-d is omnipotent! If G-d wants to have Multiple Personality disorder, there's nothing stopping him. ;)

G-d is omnipotent! If G-d wants to have Multiple Personality disorder, there's nothing stopping him. ;)

Well, I stick to Maimonides when it comes to what I can say about G_d.

Any book with the title, "The Guide For The Perplexed" has got to be good.

And looking through other posts, yes i am Jewish!, Keruv converted to Islam, but still practices Judiasm...he's like Dual-Religious hehe.

Yes, well, you'd be surprised just how similar Islam and traditional Torah Judaism (the tradition on which I was raised) are to each other. :)

I have a question:

How to other Jews view Jews that believe that Jesus was the Messiah? In some ways, those folks are considered Christians; but they may still observe Shabbat, eat kosher, etc. In a very real way, they are both Jewish and Christian; maybe even more Jew than Christian to some.

So do other Jews accept them as fellow Jews, or would they be considered... I don't know, apostate or something?

<aside>
I'm a Christian (Mennonite heritage) with a tremendous love and respect for Jews, Judaism, Zionism and the Nation of Israel.
</aside>


From what i remember reading, up until around Paul and the Romans, Christianity was no different then Judiasm, it was just that they were Jew's who believed that Jesus was the messiah.

If Jesus was the messiah, the world would not be different, Rabbis might Say that Jesus wasn't the messiah, but still might have been a messenger from G-d, same thing about Muhammad.


Yes, well, you'd be surprised just how similar Islam and traditional Torah Judaism (the tradition on which I was raised) are to each other.

True, But Islam forbids Alcohol... every Jew i know loves getting Drunk. I for one don't like alcohol...they consider me a freak about that. Still yes there are lots of similarities.

G-d is omnipotent! If G-d wants to have Multiple Personality disorder, there's nothing stopping him. ;)

I have many gods.

How to other Jews view Jews that believe that Jesus was the Messiah?

Depends on who you ask. My answer: If you're a Jew, you're a Jew. Nothing you can do at any time or at any place can take that away from you.

If you've converted to Judaism, you're a Jew. Even if you subsequently embrace another way, you're stuck with it for life. Oh, sure, you can deny it, but somebody somewhere knows and they're baking a kugel just for you.

Considering that the very first Christians - Paul, Peter, John, etc - were all Jewish, I'd say it's quite easy to reconcile being a Jewish Christian. Hell, read the Gospel ... Jesus never ordained a non-Jew. Not a one.

I've met Jewish Christians, Jewish Buddhists, Jewish Pagans, Jewish Muslims, Jewish Atheists, Jewish Agnostics, Jewish Wiccans (commonly called Jewitch), and all manner of Jewish folks.

It's not unheard of.

I'm a Jewish Pentacostal Christian. Go figure.

And yes, I am adept at baking everything from matzah to challah.

True, But Islam forbids Alcohol... every Jew i know loves getting Drunk. I for one don't like alcohol...they consider me a freak about that. Still yes there are lots of similarities.

lol ... yeah, well, I've met some Muslims who drink, too. Drunkenness is also forbidden in Torah. ;)

I'm a Jewish Pentacostal Christian. Go figure.

And yes, I am adept at baking everything from matzah to challah.


Mazel Tov!

*puts on Hava Nagila*

I'm a Jewish Pentacostal Christian.

I bet holidays at your house are insanely festive. :)

lol ... yeah, well, I've met some Muslims who drink, too. Drunkenness is also forbidden in Torah. ;)


What about Simcha Torah? And Purim... those Holidays, aren't you supposed purposely get drunk? :)

What about Simcha Torah? And Purim... those Holidays, aren't you supposed purposely get drunk? :)
Wait a second, your religion makes you get drunk? That makes it almost worth giving up shellfish, pork and cheeseburgers.

Mazel Tov!

*puts on Hava Nagila*

Actually, the thing that made me this way was going to a wedding reception for a Hasidic couple.

You know, the potted plants down the center of the room - women on one side, men on the other.

And all of the music was about "moschiach". The Messiah.

I came to the conclusion that with all the excitement, the only difference between a Pentacostal Christian and a Hasidic Jew is that one thinks that Jesus already came and is due back any minute, and the other thinks that he hasn't gotten here yet, but will be here any minute.

Wait a second, your religion makes you get drunk? That makes it almost worth giving up shellfish, pork and cheeseburgers.
Yep, Purim is the only time of the year when we're actually COMMANDED to get drunk. It doesn't get much better than that...

What about Simcha Torah? And Purim... those Holidays, aren't you supposed purposely get drunk? :)

Well, yeah, but those are special occasions. ;)

Purim is also not in Torah. That's the Meggilah. :D

Wait a second, your religion makes you get drunk? That makes it almost worth giving up shellfish, pork and cheeseburgers.


Don't forget about the Giraffes! They're Kosher!> :D..plus there's the practically you get 1 month off for holidays..Freemason membership (j/k...or am i?). And free citizenship to Israel. ^-^

Actually, the thing that made me this way was going to a wedding reception for a Hasidic couple.

You know, the potted plants down the center of the room - women on one side, men on the other.

And all of the music was about "moschiach". The Messiah.

I came to the conclusion that with all the excitement, the only difference between a Pentacostal Christian and a Hasidic Jew is that one thinks that Jesus already came and is due back any minute, and the other thinks that he hasn't gotten here yet, but will be here any minute.

LOL, yes much like Islam, Modesty is also key in Judiasm.. sorry ladies, all skirts must be at least below the knees. :)

And i tend not to think about the Hasidics...most people think they're nuts anyways.

Yep, Purim is the only time of the year when we're actually COMMANDED to get drunk. It doesn't get much better than that...

Also on Simcha Torah... only difference is,

Simcha Torah- Get Do drunk you want to dance with the Torah.

Purim- Put on a costume, and get so drunk, you forget if your actually the Devil or a Human...Note: try not to go outside while drunk and wearing a costume...you'll scare the children. :)

Well, yeah, but those are special occasions. ;)

Purim is also not in Torah. That's the Meggilah. :D


Shaddup! G-d protected us that day, in return we get Drunk and do silly little dances for him. :D

The Hasidim are waiting for the Messiah, but I doubt they're waiting for Jesus. :)

The Hasidim are waiting for the Messiah, but I doubt they're waiting for Jesus. :)

Christians use the word Messiah as well. I think they're waiting for the same guy.

Shaddup! G-d protected us that day, in return we get Drunk and do silly little dances for him. :D

*snicker* Yeah ... Allah has asked for some strange things over the centuries. Gotta appreciate His own special brand of Discordianism.

Christians use the word Messiah as well. I think they're waiting for the same guy.


We're all waiting for Godot.

We're all waiting for Godot.

I doubt most Hasidim think of Jesus as Messiah. Some apparently thought that of Schneerson though.

The Hasidim are waiting for the Messiah, but I doubt they're waiting for Jesus. :)


We have no idea who the Messiah is, if it is Jesus...then we're really sorry about the cross thing. ;)

*snicker* Yeah ... Allah has asked for some strange things over the centuries. Gotta appreciate His own special brand of Discordianism.

Well as long as our souls aren't trapped on Roofs like frisbees, i'm happy. :)

We're all waiting for Godot.

Godot?

We have no idea who the Messiah is, if it is Jesus...then we're really sorry about the cross thing. ;)

Don't worry, Allah cleared that up in Qur'an. Isa (Jesus) didn't die on the cross.

Well as long as our souls aren't trapped on Roofs like frisbees, i'm happy. :)

Wouldn't that just be a kick in the arse?

Godot?

Samuel Beckett play "Waiting for Godot". A tragicomedy.

http://samuel-beckett.net/Waiting_for_Godot_Part1.html

Didn't the Romans have as much to do with Jesus's dying (or nearly dying according to Islam) as the Jews? After all, someone who disturbed the peace in Jerusalem would have gotten on Pilate's bad side more than the gospels admit, I would think.

A little man with a funny mustache in the ww2 didn't finnish his job properly I see.

A little man with a funny mustache in the ww2 didn't finnish his job properly I see.

No no ... the bullet went right through his head just fine without hinderance.

No no ... the bullet went right through his head just fine without hinderance.

no no, the other thing... the thing that jews are still bitching, like they are the only people in the world who were abused? I wonder why the black community in the USA isn't bitching as much as the jews?! Not so power hungry would be my guess.

no no, the other thing... the thing that jews are still bitching, like they are the only people in the world who were abused? I wonder why the black community in the USA isn't bitching as much as the jews?! Not so power hungry would be my guess.

Oh, so the blacks in America are happy? I had no idea.

Hmm. And complaining about the Holocaust. I had no idea that was an attempt to get power - I thought it was just an effort to point out an injustice that should never happen to anyone.

Your troll voice is giving you away.

no no, the other thing... the thing that jews are still bitching, like they are the only people in the world who were abused? I wonder why the black community in the USA isn't bitching as much as the jews?! Not so power hungry would be my guess.


No. Go away. This thread is fun without an arguement. Start a new thread or something, gosh!

im a conservative jew, but im becoming more reformed. im having trouble believing in god the way most religions describe "him."

I'm a troll and I'm going to cook and eat you. RAAARGH! RUN BOY RUN.

no no, the other thing... the thing that jews are still bitching

I'm sorry ... I didn't notice any bitching in this thread ... maybe you can point it out to me?

I'm a troll and I'm going to cook and eat you. RAAARGH! RUN BOY RUN.

I'm not kosher. :D

I'm not kosher. :D

i'm not jewish :D

i'm not jewish :D

Nobody's perfect. ;)

Nobody's perfect. ;)

Hi, I'm Nobody.

Nobody's perfect. ;)


I am.

And damnit, I had a question abuot the Jewish faith, but that just forced it from my mind...
Um.. what exactly is Kosher? Or has that been asked/answered?

I am.

And damnit, I had a question abuot the Jewish faith, but that just forced it from my mind...
Um.. what exactly is Kosher? Or has that been asked/answered?
Kosher is when your food is specially prepared so as to not include pork, shellfish, or dairy and meat on the same plate. It's a conspiracy by the Zionists to eliminate tasty foods.

I am.

And damnit, I had a question abuot the Jewish faith, but that just forced it from my mind...
Um.. what exactly is Kosher? Or has that been asked/answered?

Kosher is that which complies with dietary laws and cleanliness.

The majority of the Kashrut laws can be found in Leviticus ch. 11.

It doesn't just end at food, though, but also goes into how food is to be stored and served. A kosher meal cannot be prepared in a non-kosher (treif) kitchen. I've only met one person in my life who kept glatt kashrut (perfectly kosher) and it was something to behold.

I tried for a long time. I had two fridges, two sets of every kind of dish, and was extremely careful. It's not an easy thing to do!

Ah...
Well, you're all weird.
But people who manage to pull it off, deserve respect.

After all, we're all weird.

Ah...
Well, you're all weird.
But people who manage to pull it off, deserve respect.

After all, we're all weird.


6000 years of recorded history, have survived holocausts, persecutions, mass conversions, inquisitions and... just standard Anti-Semitism... most religions could not handle that...either we;re lucky, or that's proof G-d exists. ;)

Kosher is that which complies with dietary laws and cleanliness.

The majority of the Kashrut laws can be found in Leviticus ch. 11.

It doesn't just end at food, though, but also goes into how food is to be stored and served. A kosher meal cannot be prepared in a non-kosher (treif) kitchen. I've only met one person in my life who kept glatt kashrut (perfectly kosher) and it was something to behold.

I tried for a long time. I had two fridges, two sets of every kind of dish, and was extremely careful. It's not an easy thing to do!

So very true... and not being allowed to touch money on Shabbat, or watch TV... it's supposed to be the day of rest, but i'm out all day praying, and when i come home i can't even watch TV! X_X...right now i'm conservative, but still being Orthodox is hard.

im a conservative jew, but im becoming more reformed. im having trouble believing in god the way most religions describe "him."

Your not supposed to believe how other religions describe him..just how the Jew's do. It'd be like listening to a Neo-Con explain Islam, i can bet you it won't be very friendly or accurate. :)

6000 years of recorded history

In all honesty, this is the only problem I have ever had with Jews.
I've never heard a refrence to the Hebrews before around 1800 BCE, which means 4000 years of history (And you stated that eariler in the thread anyway).
You can, if you like, use refrences to Abraham, which probably exist in Babylonian scripture, but that would still not bring you back much further then say 2500 BCE (Ur was a Sumerian city until then, when the Simetic Akkadians moved in and pushed the Sumerians out).

Really.. that's the only problem I have with anyone.. when they misuse history.

Kosher is when your food is specially prepared so as to not include pork, shellfish, or dairy and meat on the same plate. It's a conspiracy by the Zionists to eliminate tasty foods.

Thank you for explaining why Jewish and Slavic cooking diverge, with the exception of potato pancakes. :D

In all honesty, this is the only problem I have ever had with Jews.
I've never heard a refrence to the Hebrews before around 1800 BCE, which means 4000 years of history (And you stated that eariler in the thread anyway).
You can, if you like, use refrences to Abraham, which probably exist in Babylonian scripture, but that would still not bring you back much further then say 2500 BCE (Ur was a Sumerian city until then, when the Simetic Akkadians moved in and pushed the Sumerians out).

Really.. that's the only problem I have with anyone.. when they misuse history.


Hebrews have been recorded as far back as around 1700 BCE, Judiasm probably around 1400BCE...i'm taking a guess there.

But our history starts from Adam and Eve, even though technically they are the first Man and Woman (provided you believe in that) That is when we consider history officially started. I don't remember when Abraham was born but i'll guess 3000-2500 BCE.

In any case, our History is as old as China, and our history records as far back as them as well.

And technically we don't misuse history, we recorded history from the time of the First Humans, but Abraham was considered the First Jew...Eber is considered the forefather of the Hebrews though. :P

hmmm, i think i wrote the post correctly.

Thank you for explaining why Jewish and Slavic cooking diverge, with the exception of potato pancakes. :D


eh? Slavs make Latkes? 1337 :p

1. All males must be circumsized..... and if your already circumsized, a rabbi will nick your eh... sacred place.

2. You must actually want to be a Jew, it's not all about free money and controlling the world, Our religion is approx 4000 years old! So basically we're the 2nd oldest living religion.

3. You must learn the Torah, so you know all the laws....there are technically 613 laws(?) but assuming you don't live in Israel, and since we don't have a temple.... it's probably more along the lines of 100. Just an educated guess.

4. When the Rabbi think's it's official, he'll end the process by dunking you in water, basically baptizing you, but with a different sense.

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.

Any questions? Can be about the after life, G-d, our religion, whatever. I think i can cover your questions for the most part. :)

You forgot Bar/Bat Mitzvah, kappot, not being physical, and there are roughly only 13 million now, not 15. Yes, unfortunetly we are getting smaller.

Eh, converting to judaism is absurd.

From my perspective:

As a non-jew, I can eat all the tasty jewish dishes, but still enjoy tasty dishes which arent kosher.

Though I suppose if I became a jew i could never again be accused of being an anti semite.

You forgot Bar/Bat Mitzvah, kappot, not being physical, and there are roughly only 13 million now, not 15. Yes, unfortunetly we are getting smaller.

No... pretty sure it's 15 million, we're growing just very slowly.

And i didn't mention Bar Mitzvah, since i was assuming Non-Jews would only inquire.

Eh, converting to judaism is absurd.

From my perspective:

As a non-jew, I can eat all the tasty jewish dishes, but still enjoy tasty dishes which arent kosher.

Though I suppose if I became a jew i could never again be accused of being an anti semite.

You also get free citizenship to Israel, can use the Jewish jokes and laugh about the holocaust and Hitler, without being called a Nazi, plus get a month worth of holiday. And lots of other stuff too...

Plus you can laugh at the others, as they dial 911 for the police...every knows its......... expected me to tell you didn't you?

Eh, converting to judaism is absurd.

From my perspective:

As a non-jew, I can eat all the tasty jewish dishes, but still enjoy tasty dishes which arent kosher.

Though I suppose if I became a jew i could never again be accused of being an anti semite.
BE reform! you can do anything you want and still be considered a jew.

I'm a vegetarian, so I'm pretty Kosher (as far as I understand the rules) I hate organized religon, and my family is mormon (are these details related?.....maybe...) But I wanna be jewish. The best stage actors are jewish, their accent is awesome, and they accept homosexuals (Don't they?)
I WANNA BE A JEW!!!

No... pretty sure it's 15 million, we're growing just very slowly.


Plus you can laugh at the others, as they dial 911 for the police...every knows its......... expected me to tell you didn't you?
1) Are you sure we just mentioned 13 million Jews in my uni class.
2) Ah... errr... you wanna finish that statment.

ISraeli Citizen in the house!

BE reform! you can do anything you want and still be considered a jew.


Tempting, honestly.

Tempting, honestly.
Im serious in reform you can be a Jew for Jesus for g-ds sake. Granted the Hasid will scorn you, but the rest dont mind unless you try to convert us. SInce you dont see us trying to convert you!

But our history starts from Adam and Eve, even though technically they are the first Man and Woman (provided you believe in that) That is when we consider history officially started. I don't remember when Abraham was born but i'll guess 3000-2500 BCE.


Bwahahaha! Bow down in shame before the Mayans, who state creation in the hundreds of thousands of years! Or before the Hindus, whose records go back over 6,000 years, set creation in the BILLIONS of years in the past and cycles forwards and backwards into infinity!!!

Of course, the Mayans had a small... "accident".

Shaddup! G-d protected us that day, in return we get Drunk and do silly little dances for him. :D


lolz, well manishevitts does taste so good


I remember my hebrew school teacher teaching me when i was in like forth grade that wine=joy!


And that was seriously one of our lessons.

Bwahahaha! Bow down in shame before the Mayans, who state creation in the hundreds of thousands of years! Or before the Hindus, whose records go back over 6,000 years, set creation in the BILLIONS of years in the past and cycles forwards and backwards into infinity!!!

Of course, the Mayans had a small... "accident".
only a slight accident called utter disappearance.

Hebrews have been recorded as far back as around 1700 BCE, Judiasm probably around 1400BCE...i'm taking a guess there.

But our history starts from Adam and Eve, even though technically they are the first Man and Woman (provided you believe in that) That is when we consider history officially started. I don't remember when Abraham was born but i'll guess 3000-2500 BCE.

In any case, our History is as old as China, and our history records as far back as them as well.

And technically we don't misuse history, we recorded history from the time of the First Humans, but Abraham was considered the First Jew...Eber is considered the forefather of the Hebrews though. :P

hmmm, i think i wrote the post correctly.


Yes well, I'm counting recorded history not in the Torah, Bible, or Koran. Since that's the more accecpted as "Factual". I could be a real jerk and go by my religions recorded history, but I'd be going back a few million years (Weird.)
As for Abraham, if he was the first Jew, he was a semite (Even the name is semetic, I'm talking the people, not just Jews), and I'm saying he couldn't have been borne before 2500 BCE, because, if I remember correctly, he was borne in Ur, and Ur was only taken by the Semetic Akkadians after 2500 BCE. (Which would make Abraham an Akkadian, the Semetic "brothers" to my religions origins, which makes me closer to the Jews then I usualkly think.)

Anyway.. that's my messed up point.

yes, well that explains the rivalry between us and deh muslims


just a bit of sibling rivalry

We came from Issac, and they came from his brother Ismal(though someone can correct me on spelling of Ishmal)who were both sons of Abraham (or Ibbraham based on which religon)


So yesh, just a little bit of history that is probably pretty off-topic anyways, or ignored as usual, whatever

yes, well that explains the rivalry between us and deh muslims


just a bit of sibling rivalry

We came from Issac, and they came from his brother Ismal(though someone can correct me on spelling of Ishmal)who were both sons of Abraham (or Ibbraham based on which religon)


So yesh, just a little bit of histopry that is probably pretty off-topic anyways

Not to go too off-topic..
But Abraham was from the city of Ur (No one's corrected me, I'm assuming I'm right, even though it's in my Religion class notes), which was the city which Nanna[/u] the moon god took residence.
Which means, through my oddly connecting mind, that Abraham would have been very aquainted with my religion (Or at least the Semetic twist to it), with [i]Nanna (One of my favorite gods), and somehow I connect that down into meaning one thing.
Somehow, my religion (Sumerian), Islam, Judiasim, and even Christianity, are related on that basic level..

But I make weird connections.

I'm a vegetarian, so I'm pretty Kosher (as far as I understand the rules) I hate organized religon, and my family is mormon (are these details related?.....maybe...) But I wanna be jewish. The best stage actors are jewish, their accent is awesome, and they accept homosexuals (Don't they?)
I WANNA BE A JEW!!!


LOL i love this post!

1. If your a vegetarian, you don't have to worry much about Kosher laws...so that doesn't count.

2. The point of religion is that is organized...

3. Mormon? who wants to be a jew? I've seen weirder...

4. You shouldn't want to be jewish based off that... you should want to become on, because you heart tells you this is the right religion.

5. Jewish accent? The Yiddish, Israeli or Ladino one?

6. ummm, iffy. You can still expect me an outcast, but they won't kick you out of shul...possibly, they will talk to you alot though.


BE reform! you can do anything you want and still be considered a jew.

That only applies to Jew's that were born Jewish, you have to convert Orthodox, to be considered a Jew then.

1) Are you sure we just mentioned 13 million Jews in my uni class.
2) Ah... errr... you wanna finish that statment.

ISraeli Citizen in the house!

1. Maybe it's 14 million, not definitely not 13 mil
2. Nope. :p
3. w00t :D

Tempting, honestly.

No! He's lying! Nein!

Im serious in reform you can be a Jew for Jesus for g-ds sake. Granted the Hasid will scorn you, but the rest dont mind unless you try to convert us. SInce you dont see us trying to convert you!

Stop encouraging them...to be considered a Jew, you must have had an Orthodox conversion, only someoneone from Jewish birth, can "convert", if let's say Tigrip were to convert to reformed Judiasm, and 3 months later, decide to practice Buddhism... well he'd definitely be shunned.

Bwahahaha! Bow down in shame before the Mayans, who state creation in the hundreds of thousands of years! Or before the Hindus, whose records go back over 6,000 years, set creation in the BILLIONS of years in the past and cycles forwards and backwards into infinity!!!

Of course, the Mayans had a small... "accident".

We never said that the world isn't 15 billion years old... we just say Modern Humans never arrived until 6000 years ago, give or take a few thousand.

only a slight accident called utter disappearance.

Of course they exist! It's just they were subjugated by the Spanish...

Yes well, I'm counting recorded history not in the Torah, Bible, or Koran. Since that's the more accecpted as "Factual". I could be a real jerk and go by my religions recorded history, but I'd be going back a few million years (Weird.)
As for Abraham, if he was the first Jew, he was a semite (Even the name is semetic, I'm talking the people, not just Jews), and I'm saying he couldn't have been borne before 2500 BCE, because, if I remember correctly, he was borne in Ur, and Ur was only taken by the Semetic Akkadians after 2500 BCE. (Which would make Abraham an Akkadian, the Semetic "brothers" to my religions origins, which makes me closer to the Jews then I usualkly think.)

Anyway.. that's my messed up point.

Well lots of the Old Testament history has been proven true... and i did say i was taking a guess when Abraham was born..



Hmmm... i noticed that this never posted, oh well, i'll try again. :)

Err... any questions so far? ^^; aside from all the ones asked.

Mmmmm, Jewish boys. :D

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.


I don't know if anyone has correct you yet, but that is incorrect.

In AMERICA we have 4 main sects, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist. But there are also smaller ones, like Renewal, which is more about meditation and people keep eco-Kosher instead of Kosher.

There are also shules that are more traditionaly Sephardic and don't neccisarily have the same four sects as the Ashkenazic do.

Outside of the US, its different.

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.


I don't know if anyone has correct you yet, but that is incorrect.

In AMERICA we have 4 main sects, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist. But there are also smaller ones, like Renewal, which is more about meditation and people keep eco-Kosher instead of Kosher.

There are also shules that are more traditionaly Sephardic and don't neccisarily have the same four sects as the Ashkenazic do.

Outside of the US, its different.

No not really.

I don't know if anyone has correct you yet, but that is incorrect.

In AMERICA we have 4 main sects, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist. But there are also smaller ones, like Renewal, which is more about meditation and people keep eco-Kosher instead of Kosher.

There are also shules that are more traditionaly Sephardic and don't neccisarily have the same four sects as the Ashkenazic do.

Outside of the US, its different.


1. You double posted, just mentioning that.

2. Conservative is a leeway between Reformed and Orthodox, they don't have their own shul...more like ideologies. I am a conservative myself, i live near a reform shul and a Orthodox shul...3 actually. But i go to the orthodox ones.

3. There are 3 different types of shuls. Orthodox, generally filled with Conservatives and Orthodox Jews, where they teach the actual laws.

Reformed, which allows some relaxation for some areas, like kosher laws and electricity and Gay marriage.

Reconstructionist, which allows whatever will make you happy. Suffice to say only Orthodox is taken seriously, and some of the Reformists.

4. There is practically no difference between Ashkenazi and Sephards, there are differences, but not enough to call them 2 different types of Jews.

Sephards don't really have reformed and reconstructionists, but they do have conservatives.

The jewish accent i'd take up upon conversion would be the new york jew, no question about it.

My guess is that in your nomenclature that is the "yiddish" one.

1. If your a vegetarian, you don't have to worry much about Kosher laws...so that doesn't count.


You do have to worry .... the Passover Lamb is a commandment. :D Can't be vegetarian and follow all the mitzvot.

The jewish accent i'd take up upon conversion would be the new york jew, no question about it.

My guess is that in your nomenclature that is the "yiddish" one.


Nu? So you want to be a Jew? What do i care? Putz...

like that? :p

You do have to worry .... the Passover Lamb is a commandment. :D Can't be vegetarian and follow all the mitzvot.


Really? I know plenty of Orthdox Jewish vegetarians...guess they lie when they said they were full...or maybe about the religious part.

And Lamb? I thought it was chicken...guess Lamb is a sephard thing.

My guess is that in your nomenclature that is the "yiddish" one.

Might want to learn Yiddish first. :)

Really? I know plenty of Orthdox Jewish vegetarians...guess they lie when they said they were full...or maybe about the religious part.

And Lamb? I thought it was chicken...guess Lamb is a sephard thing.

Heh ... maybe so ... I often forget how different we Shephard are from the Ashkenazi ... :)

Nu? So you want to be a Jew? What do i care? Putz...

like that? :p



"whaauut do ayyy cyaeeeh"

oy vay~

1. All males must be circumsized..... and if your already circumsized, a rabbi will nick your eh... sacred place.

2. You must actually want to be a Jew, it's not all about free money and controlling the world, Our religion is approx 4000 years old! So basically we're the 2nd oldest living religion.

3. You must learn the Torah, so you know all the laws....there are technically 613 laws(?) but assuming you don't live in Israel, and since we don't have a temple.... it's probably more along the lines of 100. Just an educated guess.

4. When the Rabbi think's it's official, he'll end the process by dunking you in water, basically baptizing you, but with a different sense.

And for anyone that cares...there are approximately 15 million Jews, with 3 different sects. Orthodox, Reformed, Reconstructionist.

Any questions? Can be about the after life, G-d, our religion, whatever. I think i can cover your questions for the most part. :)

Despite my name I'm not Jewish. I'm Jewish as Mao Ze Dong.

Despite my name I'm not Jewish. I'm Jewish as Mao Ze Dong.
Moa Tse Tung. ;)

Moa Tse Tung. ;)

There's two versions of his name. You're using his old one. I'm using the more modern Mandarin version.

I'm Jewish as Mao Ze Dong.


Wait .... he's not Jewish?!?!? :eek: :eek: :eek: :confused: :( :D

I don't know if anyone has correct you yet, but that is incorrect.

In AMERICA we have 4 main sects, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist. But there are also smaller ones, like Renewal, which is more about meditation and people keep eco-Kosher instead of Kosher.

There are also shules that are more traditionaly Sephardic and don't neccisarily have the same four sects as the Ashkenazic do.

Outside of the US, its different.
in israel this is different. there are orthodoxs, traditionals (that aren't were the punguin suits, and study in Yeshiva), and the seculars.
it is too bad that there are too many laws that enforce the orthodox laws on the majority, while they aren't serve in army, pay taxes, or work (some of them even ignore the goverments rules or anti-zionists, but they still take money for their studing).

eh? Slavs make Latkes? 1337 :p

Of course we do... They're perfect for Lent!! 10Q :D

One question JEW dude, why has your religion never grown bug, it seams that jew are always the system within an other country but never seak to try to get more people over to their religion, like the JESUS and ALLAH people have over a billion people world wide, they like to spread, you dont, but those religion originatet from your religion, as they both belewe in the god of Abraham?

So why, why you not a huge religion dude, why :confused:

Are you a sect in some sense like closed??

Did not mean to offend, but this has always been on my mind..

And I hate religion as a whole, its opium :)

2. sorry... Kosher Animals only. Giraffe is kosher if it makes you feel any better though.


Actually, Giraffe is only kosher if it is raised to be eaten. (The things I know...)

i know it's totally off topic, but after reading through this whole thread, i just gotta ask where i stand in this...cause i've always been curious as to how jews view someone in my situation.

my father was raised orthodox and switched to reform (i believe). my mother is a roman catholic. i grew up going to church with my mother's parents but never really cared for it. was never baptised and never had a bat mitvah. only hebrew i know is the hanukkah prayer when you light the candles, and i can't even tell you what it's called. also grew up keeping kosher as much as possible during passover and keeping some family traditions for rosh hashana, hanukkah, yom kippur. I still try my hardest to keep kosher during passover (which is hard in a predominately christian university...though there is one jewish professor), and i keep up the traditions from my father's side of the family. i also tend to say "i was raised half-jewish" when people ask me my religion. i barely mention my roman catholic background...

so my question is: what does this make me in the eyes of jews? just cause i'm really curious...

One question JEW dude, why has your religion never grown bug, it seams that jew are always the system within an other country but never seak to try to get more people over to their religion, like the JESUS and ALLAH people have over a billion people world wide, they like to spread, you dont, but those religion originatet from your religion, as they both belewe in the god of Abraham?

So why, why you not a huge religion dude, why :confused:

Are you a sect in some sense like closed??

Did not mean to offend, but this has always been on my mind..

And I hate religion as a whole, its opium :)
the major difference between the judaism to the christianity and islam, is the amount of recuirments.
islam had only 7 thing good muslim should do. how I know, the christians only should go to the church, and ask for forgiving on their crimes.
however, in judaism there are 613 thing jewish should do (acording to the bible), and that already grown up to some thousands acording to the orthodox out-bible books like the mishna, talmud and "shulhan aruch". while becomung jewish made by the orthodoxes, it even harder to make it.

i know it's totally off topic, but after reading through this whole thread, i just gotta ask where i stand in this...cause i've always been curious as to how jews view someone in my situation.

my father was raised orthodox and switched to reform (i believe). my mother is a roman catholic. i grew up going to church with my mother's parents but never really cared for it. was never baptised and never had a bat mitvah. only hebrew i know is the hanukkah prayer when you light the candles, and i can't even tell you what it's called. also grew up keeping kosher as much as possible during passover and keeping some family traditions for rosh hashana, hanukkah, yom kippur. I still try my hardest to keep kosher during passover (which is hard in a predominately christian university...though there is one jewish professor), and i keep up the traditions from my father's side of the family. i also tend to say "i was raised half-jewish" when people ask me my religion. i barely mention my roman catholic background...

so my question is: what does this make me in the eyes of jews? just cause i'm really curious...
acording to the reforms, and the seculars you are jewish enough.
despite that, the orthodoxes who are the major part of judaism will not see you as jewish because you aren't born to jewish mom, and wasn't made judaizing. I think some of them even see ex-orthodoxes as dead, and ignore them.

so my question is: what does this make me in the eyes of jews? just cause i'm really curious...

Stop caring what other Jews think. What matters is what G_d thinks - you are the arbiter of the relationship between you and G_d.

if you feel like you're a Jew, you're a Jew.

Of course, the Mayans had a small... "accident".

Maybe they were Raptured...

Stop caring what other Jews think. What matters is what G_d thinks - you are the arbiter of the relationship between you and G_d.

if you feel like you're a Jew, you're a Jew.
not exactly. if you try to be part of community, you better care a little for the others thoughts. if you want to live in israel, it would be much easier to be a jewish.
if you aren't it really unimportant. I just think that the religion power is in the community.

um...
sb asked if you could be gay and jew..

if i am right, there is a passage in the old testament, to kill
all gay people with throwing stones onto them.. (_NOT_ totally
sure, gonna look it up)

um...
sb asked if you could be gay and jew..

if i am right, there is a passage in the old testament, to kill
all gay people with throwing stones onto them.. (_NOT_ totally
sure, gonna look it up)

Technically, it only applies to gay men. There's nothing in the rule book that says that women can't be lesbians.

Technically, it only applies to gay men. There's nothing in the rule book that says that women can't be lesbians.


He's right. :D, well actually it's more like there's no law against them having sex.

Basically Man can't have sex, because Sperm has the potentinal for life, so you should not waste it. Women just have eggs.

Plus most Women have Self-Control, and won't have sex for pleasure... they do it out of love.

Or at least that's what my Rabbi says. :p

And as for you Yuki, you might not be Jew by religion, but at least your one by heart. :)

You would be accepted in community, provided it's not Ultra-Orthodox, although the Orthodox might ask that you do a couple of rites. Like being dipped in the Mikvah (basically being baptized). I'm sure there might be some other things... err yeah. :)

One question JEW dude, why has your religion never grown bug, it seams that jew are always the system within an other country but never seak to try to get more people over to their religion, like the JESUS and ALLAH people have over a billion people world wide, they like to spread, you dont, but those religion originatet from your religion, as they both belewe in the god of Abraham?

So why, why you not a huge religion dude, why :confused:

Are you a sect in some sense like closed??

Did not mean to offend, but this has always been on my mind..

And I hate religion as a whole, its opium :)


Well... basically noone likes us. :), even now, people hate us...they tolerate us, but still hate our guts.

Because they hate us...they tend to kill us, and that has happened alot, our whole history is based off being slaves and being persecuted and killed, yet always still being alive at the end. :)

Now since our kids don't want to be persecuted, some have the crazy idea that if they convert, to Christianity or Islam...they're safe! :D...they're not. Just look at Hitler, he killed people that were like 1/1024 of a Jew.

Also Converting is only hard now, prior to the inquisition, to become a jew all you'd have to do was be dipped in the mikvah and that's it. Now you need to be a Torah Scholar, speak hebrew and well basically you must be Orthodox, and swear never to become secular.

Also, we don't have missionaries, we used to, but after we got the Laws from Mt. Sinai, one of things were never to preach to other people of your religion, they must come to you of their own free will.

Does that answer all your questions?

I guess so, but one thing i might add, christianaty to day is not the one Jesus preached[if we say that he was alive, this is a guess], becouse the Romens in some year made christianety into their state religion, and then used it as a tool to control people, the same people who were priests and so on in the times before the romens chose christanety and those after were not the same, Jesus had more of a be nice to each other polecy, the church has on its list some of the evilest things in history...
Crusades, the people in spain who burned people...The vatican participated in the Holocost, and the Fashists in Spain(franko people they were supported of the church)

So in my mind Jesus and the Church are no longer one, and he never said he was gods son, this has been written later on...
Anyway, do you know how the idea that there was only one god came to place, you were the first religion who belived in the god of abraham, the one god. So this is my last question, when did some dude say, there is only one god god

I am as you could have guessed RED, but if we look back at origins I am little bit christion a little bit Moslem... But as far as i know in Islam jews and christans are both people of the book ore something... Like the other people who belive god is one...
But what i find strange in Christaneti is that it cind of missed out on some of the things Jews an moslems have, that god is one, christanety has hlooy gost, and they made Jesus god even tough he never said so him self, and then they have god...

I can understand Jesus as a profeth, but holy gost come on, like chritianety has gone a little away from abrahams god..

Anyway sorry for bad english, first of all its becouse I dont bother to chech :p
And i press wrong keys by mistace sinse i have little time and write fast..

We never said that the world isn't 15 billion years old... we just say Modern Humans never arrived until 6000 years ago, give or take a few thousand.

Well, according to geological evidence modern humans are about 120,000 years old. The dawn of civilization, that is written records, agriculture and such, is set at about 6,000 years in the Middle East and perhaps a bit longer (8,000 years or so) in China and the Indus Valley, though that's subject to discussion. Most modern myths and religions around the world date from that time.


Of course they exist! It's just they were subjugated by the Spanish...

No, the Mayan civilization collapsed some time before the arrival of the Spanish. It went from an organized nation of several million that ranged from southern Mexico to Panama, to a disorganized mass of isolated city-states. Many didn't remember how to read the old language and some of the greatest cities had already been covered by the jungle. Of course, the Mayan people survived, but as a disorganized group.

It didn't stop the Spanish missioners from burning whatever piece of Mayan writing they could find, though.

Well, according to geological evidence modern humans are about 120,000 years old. The dawn of civilization, that is written records, agriculture and such, is set at about 6,000 years in the Middle East and perhaps a bit longer (8,000 years or so) in China and the Indus Valley, though that's subject to discussion. Most modern myths and religions around the world date from that time.

Modern Humans is Relative... maybe Modern to them meant Language and societies, rather then just the same Genetic Makeup. So although the humans from 120k eyars old, are maybe the same physically as today, not so mentally. Provided you believe in the bible, maybe G-d evolved the humans with intelligence, to me that also makes sense.

No, the Mayan civilization collapsed some time before the arrival of the Spanish. It went from an organized nation of several million that ranged from southern Mexico to Panama, to a disorganized mass of isolated city-states. Many didn't remember how to read the old language and some of the greatest cities had already been covered by the jungle. Of course, the Mayan people survived, but as a disorganized group.

Really? I thought that was the Inca...oh well.

It didn't stop the Spanish missioners from burning whatever piece of Mayan writing they could find, though.

Not all...just enough to keep history, but not enough for them to practice their society. :)

[QUOTE=MuhOre]Modern Humans is Relative... maybe Modern to them meant Language and societies, rather then just the same Genetic Makeup. So although the humans from 120k eyars old, are maybe the same physically as today, not so mentally. Provided you believe in the bible, maybe G-d evolved the humans with intelligence, to me that also makes sense.


Man has had the same brain 120k years or so, but it takes time to move from hunters to farmes to having a city to writting something...
God did not give man intelligence, who did then give god intelligence??

Modern Humans is Relative... maybe Modern to them meant Language and societies, rather then just the same Genetic Makeup. So although the humans from 120k eyars old, are maybe the same physically as today, not so mentally. Provided you believe in the bible, maybe G-d evolved the humans with intelligence, to me that also makes sense.

Yes, and it's one of the greatest enigmas of human development. For over 100 thousand years humans had been the same, same brain, same body, etc. But during all that time there was almost no progress in societies or in technology. We know they were intelligent, they made tools and hunted large animals, which required organization and strategy. But there was no change. Then, all of a sudden, less than 10,000 years ago there's this explosion of tools, then the discovery of metals, agriculture, writing, the wheel, animal domestication, etc. all within a very short period of time and in different places around the world almost in parallel.

What happened to make such a change? Some civilizations tell of gods coming from the heavens to teach men, others simply place the beginning of time at around that age; but it's possible that we will never know the truth.

It's still fascinating, though.

Yes, and it's one of the greatest enigmas of human development. For over 100 thousand years humans had been the same, same brain, same body, etc. But during all that time there was almost no progress in societies or in technology. We know they were intelligent, they made tools and hunted large animals, which required organization and strategy. But there was no change. Then, all of a sudden, less than 10,000 years ago there's this explosion of tools, then the discovery of metals, agriculture, writing, the wheel, animal domestication, etc. all within a very short period of time and in different places around the world almost in parallel.

What happened to make such a change? Some civilizations tell of gods coming from the heavens to teach men, others simply place the beginning of time at around that age; but it's possible that we will never know the truth.

It's still fascinating, though.

Exactly my point. :), i'm sure there may be plenty of scientific reasons why that happened, but i personally i believe that's when G-d decided to evolve us in his image.

Maybe he got tired of waiting, thinking by the time we evolve actual intelligent brains, the sun would blow up. :p

anyways, are there any other questions so far?