NationStates Jolt Archive


What do you call your computer?

Sarzonia
04-03-2005, 19:25
Disclaimer: This thread is intended to be a humourous approach to the running jokes about our computers and a take off of the thread about what you call your partner. No offense is intended with the descriptions herein.

Let's face it. Your compy has a mind of its own. It's been said that computers have distinct personalities, have various ethnic traits, etc. One of my friends says his computer is a gay Asian guy named Mr. Chong. My computer is an African American woman named Shoniqua who doesn't take crap from anyone.

What about YOU? :p
Sdaeriji
04-03-2005, 19:26
The Godputer.

Sometimes I call it SkyNet.
Legless Pirates
04-03-2005, 19:26
Fido, because it's my lapdog
Lacadaemon II
04-03-2005, 19:27
Errol.

(Short for Errol Flynn, becuase it fucks anything it touches).
Nasopotomia
04-03-2005, 19:27
My computer.
Jamil
04-03-2005, 19:27
My computer is Republican Texan named Roger that owns an oil refinery and occasionally something blows up or leaks.
CelebrityFrogs
04-03-2005, 19:28
I call it computer, or sometimes, if I'm in a formal kind of mood, the computer!
Nasopotomia
04-03-2005, 19:28
My computer is Republican Texan named Roger that owns an oil refinery and occasionally something blows up or leaks.

Sounds like a government to me.
You Forgot Poland
04-03-2005, 19:28
I call mine Diebold, because it's kind of unreliable and can be finger-hacked in under a minute.
Fass
04-03-2005, 19:30
Bitchbox. Because I can.
Alenaland
04-03-2005, 19:30
The only time I call my computer by a name is when it does something I don't want it to, or doesn't do something I want it to. Then it is whatever obscenity that comes out of my mouth at the time.

Other than that, I guess I'm just not as... um... close to my computer as some of you must be.
Jordaxia
04-03-2005, 19:31
My computer is called the mechaniser 9000, because it's loud, the way I like it. At the moment, it's called BROKEN, because it's broke.

No... usually, my compy is called Wheezy Tortoise. The current incarnation is Wheezy Tortoise the second.
Khwarezmia
04-03-2005, 19:32
This one's Dellboy, 'cos it's Dell.

Getting my own one soon, gonna call it Marvin.
Sanctaphrax
04-03-2005, 19:35
Mine is "You stupid lump of sh*t, why the f*ck hasn't the NS homepage shown up yet for f*cks sake?!?!?!", thats when I'm in a good mood.
Powerhungry Chipmunks
04-03-2005, 19:39
Plane

Because it's high most of the time and occasionally experiences catastrophic crashes.
UpwardThrust
04-03-2005, 19:41
I have

Slackerhobo
Sexyhobo
maelstrom
medimech
and
BS Deeee
(thoes are the ones running right now)
Mt-Tau
04-03-2005, 20:02
Depends, if its screwing up, its know as that "goddamned pile of shit". If all is working well I simply call it the 'puter.
E Blackadder
04-03-2005, 20:04
you little shit
beutiful
fucking machine
g'damn asshole
baby "cmon baby work....work you little shit..followed by 3 hits on the tower"
Itinerate Tree Dweller
04-03-2005, 20:07
Joshua or WOPR

/obscure movie reference
Pure Metal
04-03-2005, 20:11
what do you call your PC?

bitch.
The Mindset
04-03-2005, 20:13
I've always named my computers by their capibilities/role in the network. For example, the network server is called Zeus, since it's the "god of heaven" (the network.) The P4 gaming machine is called Hercules because it's powerful etc.
Chicken pi
04-03-2005, 20:14
Rupert. Perhaps I'll paint a little scarf on it when I'm bored...
South Osettia
04-03-2005, 20:14
I call my computer the computer.

Has anyone ever noticed with Windows that when it crashes for no apparent reason, you can't do anything but shut it down to remedy the problem, but then when you reboot it, it says 'tut, tut - you didn't shut me down properly'. Does anyone else think Bill Gates is just playing a cruel joke with us all (all of us who use Windows, anyway)?
UpwardThrust
04-03-2005, 20:16
I call my computer the computer.

Has anyone ever noticed with Windows that when it crashes for no apparent reason, you can't do anything but shut it down to remedy the problem, but then when you reboot it, it says 'tut, tut - you didn't shut me down properly'. Does anyone else think Bill Gates is just playing a cruel joke with us all (all of us who use Windows, anyway)?
I have only managed to lock up winxp once to shutdown … don’t know what you are doing :p (but with windows 98, ME that was a massive issue) to be fair I have managed to lock up my BSD machine to shutdown once as well :D
South Osettia
04-03-2005, 20:19
You locked up mad cow disease! That's a scientific breakthrough - quick publish your findings and get rich quick...

Oh wait, that's BSE...never mind.
Sanctaphrax
04-03-2005, 20:26
Has anyone ever noticed with Windows that when it crashes for no apparent reason, you can't do anything but shut it down to remedy the problem, but then when you reboot it, it says 'tut, tut - you didn't shut me down properly'. Does anyone else think Bill Gates is just playing a cruel joke with us all (all of us who use Windows, anyway)?
That reminded me of this.
http://www.mistupid.com/jokes/msvgm.htm
Andaluciae
04-03-2005, 20:26
Casper :D
Haken Rider
04-03-2005, 20:27
kompjoeter
Latta
04-03-2005, 20:29
I call my computer it or the.
JIMchocoMILK
04-03-2005, 20:33
i call mine friggin imac...
Stroudiztan
04-03-2005, 20:33
Unicron.
UpwardThrust
04-03-2005, 20:38
i call mine friggin imac...
IT BURNZISSSSSS
Demo-Bobylon
04-03-2005, 20:53
Hmm, I don't call my computer anything, but I should call it either HAL or Coulthard (because it's slow and crashes all the time ;)).
Kwaswhakistan
04-03-2005, 20:56
The destroyer of worlds.



or piece of sh**



depends on what it is doing



one day... i'll take an AK to it, I swear
Eutrusca
04-03-2005, 20:58
"What do you call your computer?"

"You *&+^#%*^&#(*& !"
HadesRulesMuch
04-03-2005, 21:01
Well, hmm, I got this computer last year, and it cost $1,700. it is an hp.

However, because I'm a southerner, I call it Earnhardt. Because it crashes, burns, and dies whenever I actually try to do anything.
Luporum
04-03-2005, 21:02
Honey, Sweetheart, Sugercakes, Babydoll,...Wife:D
Orilin
04-03-2005, 21:16
Haediriel Lindenole, because I am a linguistics nut who enjoys Tolkien's Elvish and is optimistic about the capabilities of the 'puter in question.