Syawla
04-03-2005, 01:35
Let's think here in order that you don't get caught out by any awkward questions...
If they say to you...
- "So how did you meet our <partner's name>?" (boys in red, girls in yellow)
What they really are saying here is "You better not have been the one I saw her touching up when I picked her up from school you little shit!" Therefore you are wisest to say "Me no speaka the English. I only just jump the train from Calais."
This is referred to in psychological terms as "Scanning mode." It merely refers to an older woman scanning a younger one for any signs of plastic surgery as she can't believe how much prettier than her you are. Just respond with the comment "Your son is so charming. He came over to me and said my breasts are so much nicer than yours."
- "Would you like some more potatoes?"
This question will most likely be asked by the mother if it isn't then you should be disturbed for it really means "Say yes if you want to meet up on the kitchen table, after dinner." This will be followed by a ;) or similar sign. Politely reply that you do not eat potatoes as you are from a protestant background and then go into a rant about how the Irish Potato Famine was the bloody catholic Irish's fault.
This is a personal attack in response to your previous answer in that she is hoping you will have a potato in order that she can call you fat. Do not be fooled. Utter the words "No thank you I am a fruitarian."
- "It was really lovely to have met you
Get the hell out of there! The Dad has already got the yellow pages out and is looking for local churches to ring while the mother is thinking about how lovely your partner would look in white. Within the week you'll have spent a few thousand of your precious student loan on a 3mm shiny piece of granite.
This really depends on who it is coming from. If it is the Mum it means "Eat me whore!" If it comes from the Dad he is merely thinking to himself "Well, at least my son's not a poof!".
If they say to you...
- "So how did you meet our <partner's name>?" (boys in red, girls in yellow)
What they really are saying here is "You better not have been the one I saw her touching up when I picked her up from school you little shit!" Therefore you are wisest to say "Me no speaka the English. I only just jump the train from Calais."
This is referred to in psychological terms as "Scanning mode." It merely refers to an older woman scanning a younger one for any signs of plastic surgery as she can't believe how much prettier than her you are. Just respond with the comment "Your son is so charming. He came over to me and said my breasts are so much nicer than yours."
- "Would you like some more potatoes?"
This question will most likely be asked by the mother if it isn't then you should be disturbed for it really means "Say yes if you want to meet up on the kitchen table, after dinner." This will be followed by a ;) or similar sign. Politely reply that you do not eat potatoes as you are from a protestant background and then go into a rant about how the Irish Potato Famine was the bloody catholic Irish's fault.
This is a personal attack in response to your previous answer in that she is hoping you will have a potato in order that she can call you fat. Do not be fooled. Utter the words "No thank you I am a fruitarian."
- "It was really lovely to have met you
Get the hell out of there! The Dad has already got the yellow pages out and is looking for local churches to ring while the mother is thinking about how lovely your partner would look in white. Within the week you'll have spent a few thousand of your precious student loan on a 3mm shiny piece of granite.
This really depends on who it is coming from. If it is the Mum it means "Eat me whore!" If it comes from the Dad he is merely thinking to himself "Well, at least my son's not a poof!".