NationStates Jolt Archive

Assuming both parties are adults and of sound-mind, do their ages really matter?

For me? Only a bit.

Personally, I think it matters a little bit.

In my opinion, it's ridiculous when fifty year old women choose to marry twenty year old men, for example. But a ten year difference in age wouldn't be a huge problem, would it?

But that's just me.. =/

In the event anybody wonders what this poll is about, well I shall explain.

Basically, the only woman I really ever wanted was 25+ years my senior. But you never get what you really want, at least it seems that way. Although I never told her so I guess I'll never know. But anyway, what good would it have done? Age differences being so awkward as they were.


Has anybody ever noticed that? You never get what you want out of life. Sure you can get things, cars, guns, fancy suits and such, but you never get that which you want the most.

There's a half decade age diffrence between my and my partner (22 and 27) and if the gap was any bigger we would have almost nothing in common at times.

No it really doesn't matter. but however "they" seem to make it a problem
people just don't seem to want to see people happy.
i've always gone after older women as they are more mature and have more expierience. but the opinions of others and percieved persceptions can lead to insecurity and ultimatley break down in the relationship.
if you love someone then be together but just remember some people may not like it and you will need to steel yourself for a bumpy ride.
as no matter how strong the bond of love is outside influences are always there and without realising it it can grind down the security of (usualy) the older partner.

Only a little bit.

But I LIKE older babes... :D

For me personally it seems to be the case. I have never been attracted to someone over.. hmm.. about 12 years older than me - and in general girls that just hit 18 (7 years younger) are a bit too immature for my tastes. Different stages in life, very different childhood memories etc.
However, the future may increase those limits if i meet the right girl/woman ;)

However, I have no problems with it if other couples think they can make it work. As long as they really thought it through.

Well, I'm going to sleep now, I'll see how this poll is doing in the morning, I wonder what direction it will take.

Well, the only ladies i have ever dated have been younger than me so...it doesn't bother me in the slightest, but if you have a gap then you always have some comments thrown at you.

I was going out with a 16 year old when I was 19 and the amount of times i was called a cradle snatcher was beyond belief. But the gap was only there due to how our birthdays were placed in the year...five months after we got together she was 17 and the comments weren't as many...

That said I believe the gap people commonly accept grows as the two people who are concerned get older. Say for example, many people view a 18 year old dating a 25 year old with a bit of suspicion, yet a 41 year old dating a 34 year old is ok...yet the same 7 year difference is there.

theres a good 'little britain' sketch about a guy who fancies old women......very funny!... Sorry, just a thought.......

It matters if one of 'em is underage...

Other than that, if the couple gets along, who cares? I'm 33, and while I might not have much in common with an 18 year old or a 75 year old, there might be people my age who do. Though I do think it's odd when someone who's 60 dates someone who's 20, it's not really my place to say it's wrong, per se. If somebody wants to date a person their grandparents' or grandchildrens' age, that's their call, as long as everyone involved is an adult.

theres a good 'little britain' sketch about a guy who fancies old women......very funny!... Sorry, just a thought.......
Got any links? :)

Me and my HAnd are the same age. :p :( :eek:
So in first Mwhahahahahahahahaha

Got any links? :)

Not too sure if theres any clips on here but sure just buy the dvd anyway

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/littlebritain/index.shtml

I specified "other" because you never know what the mental age of two people might be, which is where the real difference between a good and a bad relationship lie. If they are legal, I guess the phsyical age doesn't matter to me so much. My mother almost married a man 16 years her junior (thank God she didn't!) and my first BF at 21 was three years younger than me, at 18. I married someone eight months younger than me ultimately, so there's no real age difference there.

Ge-Ren

Not too sure if theres any clips on here but sure just buy the dvd anyway

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/littlebritain/index.shtml
Thanks. :)

As long as the people are happy, it doesn't matter, as long as both are "legal" and even then, I wish it could be decided on a case-by-case basis. My friend's 15 year-old daughter was dating a guy who was 17 and no one seemed to mind, but when he turned 18, everyone got paranoid. He was the best thing that ever happened to her because he got her to stop running with the wild crowd and stay in school. Still, the law said he could go to jail (and have to register as a sex offender) if they got caught having sex. However, if she was 18 and he was 21, no one would have cared.

I have dated guys younger than me and up to 15 years older than me and I think the only time it made a difference was in stages of life. The guy who was 15 years older than me had two grown kids and one kid in high school and didn't want any more. I wanted to start a family, so there was no way a marriage was going to work. As for the younger guys, if all they had wanted to do was party and get drunk all the time, we would have had nothing in common.

But, I have dated guys my own age who couldn't carry on a decent conversation, so in that case, I might have more in common with someone much younger than me (say a college student), than with some my own age.

Wow, first post. Aren't I special?

I've picked other for this poll.
Because it does really revolve around people being people.
If the reason for these people being together is common interest, a shared affection, love... then sure, why shouldn't they be together? And just because you don't have something in common with the sterotypical person at the other end of your age gap, doesn't go to say there aren't any you have something in common with.
However... If it's some old man/serious pervert giving it some 'Come here my ?? year old friend, would you like to see some puppies?' (kinda thing for want of a better phrasing) or some little bimbo thinkin '[S]He'll die in a few months, and I'll be rich!' (unless the old codger deserves it) then, well, I wouldn't really think it would be okay if they were the same age, so why should the age gap make it kosher?

I think so...I couldn't imagine myself with a woman more than a couple of years older or younger than me.

But hey, if it feels right, go for it. :)

As long as the people are happy, it doesn't matter, as long as both are "legal" and even then, I wish it could be decided on a case-by-case basis. My friend's 15 year-old daughter was dating a guy who was 17 and no one seemed to mind, but when he turned 18, everyone got paranoid. He was the best thing that ever happened to her because he got her to stop running with the wild crowd and stay in school. Still, the law said he could go to jail (and have to register as a sex offender) if they got caught having sex. However, if she was 18 and he was 21, no one would have cared.

I have dated guys younger than me and up to 15 years older than me and I think the only time it made a difference was in stages of life. The guy who was 15 years older than me had two grown kids and one kid in high school and didn't want any more. I wanted to start a family, so there was no way a marriage was going to work. As for the younger guys, if all they had wanted to do was party and get drunk all the time, we would have had nothing in common.

But, I have dated guys my own age who couldn't carry on a decent conversation, so in that case, I might have more in common with someone much younger than me (say a college student), than with some my own age.
Hopefully, you'll find that special someone soon... :)

Hopefully, you'll find that special someone soon... :)

Thank you, but I already have. :) I've been married for 5 years to a man 3 years my senior, and a whole helluva lot smarter than me, lol.

I think age in itself doesn't matter, it's more the fact that you're more likely to hae things in common with and be able to relate to someone who's relatively close to yourself in age. I think the impact of a large age gap lessen as both of you get older though.

But if it feels right, well it's all good then.

Thank you, but I already have. :) I've been married for 5 years to a man 3 years my senior, and a whole helluva lot smarter than me, lol.
Oh. Sorry for me being stupid :p :D

Anywhoo, congrats, then :)

Oh. Sorry for me being stupid :p :D

Anywhoo, congrats, then :)

Nope, not stupid. I just didn't make it clear. Thanks for the congrats.

Nope, not stupid. I just didn't make it clear. Thanks for the congrats.
Oh. sorry.

You're welcome.

Only a little bit.

But I LIKE older babes... :D

Fuck yeah, I like some 30-40 year old women :D

Still, I only try my chances with 18 to 20-something year olds (I'm 20).

Fuck yeah, I like some 30-40 year old women :D

Still, I only try my chances with 18 to 20-something year olds (I'm 20).
I'm also 20, but I still like 'em older :D

Age matters. When you have a 12-year old seeing a 25 year-old, somethings up (yes its happened). Older people just take advantage of younger people, whether they want to or not. Young poeple are desprate...

I think that teenagers for the most part should stick to their own age. At that time you are changing so much that even dating someone a few years younger can make a HUGE difference in maturity, and seeing someone less mature than you is a drag. It just wont work. Same if you are the less mature person. Better to stay around your own age and be with someone at the same level as you..

I think the issue is generally maturity, not age. When I was 14 I went out with a 20 year old (only dated him, you understand), who turned out to be a lot less mature than I was! I'm now with a bloke 10 years my senior - have been for two years - and the age gap makes no difference to our relationship whatsoever.

It's all down to Maturity..

Darn Kazcaper beat me to it by a minute I think.. :p

If their both mature enough, shouldn't be a problem.

I think it depends on the age difference. If it's Michael Jackson and a five year old boy, for example, then yes, the difference matters significantly. Seriously, though, I don't think it matters too much, so long as both people genuinely love each other.

it dost matter to me altho i wouldnt want a huge age gap in my relationship

Assuming both parties are adults and of sound-mind, do their ages really matter?


China has a one-party-system, so this doesn't apply there.

Has anybody ever noticed that? You never get what you want out of life. Sure you can get things, cars, guns, fancy suits and such, but you never get that which you want the most.
I beg to differ.

I have almost always gotten what I wanted in life up until the last ten years or so.

Barring what I call "life accidents," if you set goals and work backwards, setting intermediate goals, to what your goals for each day should be in order to reach your next goal, you can almost always get to where you want to be. This includes career, relationships, financial, personal growth, adventure, travel, and almost every other area of life, even health ( barring unavoidalbe accidents and illnesses ).

5-8 years is the biggest difference there should be.

5-8 years is the biggest difference there should be.

What about a 60 year old and a 50 year old?

I think there's some kind of "event horizon" age for dating where no matter how much older you get, it's still okay to date someone of that age. I haven't figured it out yet, but I think it's a mid-30s to mid-40s age.

Has anybody ever noticed that? You never get what you want out of life. Sure you can get things, cars, guns, fancy suits and such, but you never get that which you want the most.
you don't? wow, that's a bummer for you. i've gotten all the things i have wanted most, so far...here's hoping my good fortune holds :).

When it comes to other people, i have no problem with there being an age gap, no matter how large, as long as the people are happy. I'm not one to judge something like that. For me, being only 27, i wouldn't date anyone younger than 20, and even that is pushing it a little. That 7 year gap will most likely change as i get older. I wouldn't date anyone older than 47, so 20 years older than me. That gap probably won't change, but i can't say for sure.

as someone in a relationship where there is a 7 year age differance, I can say, age doesnt matter, we are very happy and have a lot in common.

It is completely up to the parties involved as long as they are both adults. I have dated woman way younger than me and older than me also. Depends on the individual.

maturity does matters, age doesn`t

it happens than some teen girls feel atraction for older guys
but is up to guys to decide what to do in those cases, in my particular case
i decided not to take advantage of this girl, i don`t love her but she
is pretty atractive and nice person to treat, and she means something to me cos i work with her mother so i offer her just to be friends, time will tell if she gets older (she is 15) maybe as she grows up change her mind and feel atracted to some other guy, btw im 24.

she is mature for her age, when i met her i thought she was 18, and i think im mature too, i had the change to something but i neven been a pervert and is not my way, we are friends, in the end i think i did the correct thing.

thanks

If both parties are sexually mature and consensually with each other, I keep my nose out of their business.

In my teens, I did twenty-thirty somethings..

In my twenties, thirty-forty somethings..

Just in my thirties now, and I'm working backwards... 20 somethings and the occasional late teen.


I figure if she's a woman, we're attracted to each other, it's fare game.

edit:

probably no younger than 15 though.... while some 14 year olds look the goods, 15 seems to be a rational starting point for most. Depends on the circumstances though.

When i was a teen, I really-really wanted this math teacher...and other kids were having fantasies about her too...I mean she was really hot.

Id say id want them to be in my age range because im still a minor and wouldnt want them to go to court for statutory rape ;)

Wow, first post. Aren't I special?

I've picked other for this poll.
Because it does really revolve around people being people.
If the reason for these people being together is common interest, a shared affection, love... then sure, why shouldn't they be together? And just because you don't have something in common with the sterotypical person at the other end of your age gap, doesn't go to say there aren't any you have something in common with.
However... If it's some old man/serious pervert giving it some 'Come here my ?? year old friend, would you like to see some puppies?' (kinda thing for want of a better phrasing) or some little bimbo thinkin '[S]He'll die in a few months, and I'll be rich!' (unless the old codger deserves it) then, well, I wouldn't really think it would be okay if they were the same age, so why should the age gap make it kosher?
Umm... interesting name there comrade ;)

Well I'm 14, so it kinda does matter a lot.

I fall right at the middle of the high school social relationship unsaid-rule thingie. Anyone younger than me is in middle-school. Anyone older than me drinks and has sex.

I mean, really, I'm stuck with other 14-15 year olds.

Well I'm 14, so it kinda does matter a lot.

I fall right at the middle of the high school social relationship unsaid-rule thingie. Anyone younger than me is in middle-school. Anyone older than me drinks and has sex.

I mean, really, I'm stuck with other 14-15 year olds.

I deal with sorta the same thing....im 15 i look 17 or 18 so its socialy awkward when seniors....I be a freshman....or juniors hit on me.....and yes im hit on by boys and girls.....and no im not gay or bi....but of the couple girls i loves the one i realy wanna be with doesnt like me :( and ive been bitching about it since i found out she doesnt like me as more than a friend.....

I'm 21 and I wouldn't date anyone younger than 19. (Yes, I know that basically means 18 year olds as below that would be creepy) In Ontario, the legal drinking age is 19 and it would suck ass to be like "oh, hey, let's go to the bar!" "Oh wait, you can't!"

And someone in their late 20s would be weird too... mid 20s too really...

I think I'll stick with a max of an age difference of a year or two.

For other people, I don't care, there are people who get along well with people 14 years younger/older and if they love each other and are both adults, then let them go for it.

Id say id want them to be in my age range because im still a minor and wouldnt want them to go to court for statutory rape ;)
:D :D :eek: :D

Umm... interesting name there comrade ;)
Lumpias? What's that mean?