NationStates Jolt Archive

Please Define:

>Republican
>Democrat
>Conservative
>Liberal

In the political context. Go.

republican / democrat = conservative

well, on a european political spectrum anyway

http://www.moral-politics.com has some very good descriptions. Trawl through the Explain section for details. The Maps section also places various political parties and countries.

>Republican: Proof positive that what goes around, comes around, and still smells just as bad as the first time.
>Democrat: No fretting. Your neighbor who walks his dogs across your yard, leaving landmines the size of Texas does it to everyone else on the block.
>Conservative: Makes continental drift look like Speedy Gonzalas
>Liberal: Nekkid. Fat. Eek.

*note- if I took politics seriously, I'd be homocidal.

*note- if I took politics seriously, I'd be homocidal.
:eek:
You'd be homocidal? You'd kill gay people?
:D

>Republican: Proof positive that what goes around, comes around, and still smells just as bad as the first time.
>Democrat: No fretting. Your neighbor who walks his dogs across your yard, leaving landmines the size of Texas does it to everyone else on the block.
>Conservative: Makes continental drift look like Speedy Gonzalas
>Liberal: Nekkid. Fat. Eek.

*note- if I took politics seriously, I'd be homocidal.

Humor noted. Cookies are en-route to your residence.

re·pub·li·can (rĭ-pŭb'lĭ-kan)
adj.
Of, relating to, or characteristic of a republic.
Favoring a republic as the best form of government.
Republican Of, relating to, characteristic of, or belonging to the Republican Party of the United States.
n.
One who favors a republic as the best form of government.
Republican A member of the Republican Party of the United States.

dem·o·crat (dĕm'o-krăt')
n.
An advocate of democracy.
Democrat A member of the Democratic Party.

con·ser·va·tive (kon-sûr'va-tĭv)
adj.
Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
Moderate; cautious: a conservative estimate.

Of or relating to the political philosophy of conservatism.
Belonging to a conservative party, group, or movement.
Conservative Of or belonging to the Conservative Party in the United Kingdom or the Progressive Conservative Party in Canada.
Conservative Of or adhering to Conservative Judaism.
Tending to conserve; preservative: the conservative use of natural resources.
n.
One favoring traditional views and values.
A supporter of political conservatism.
Conservative A member or supporter of the Conservative Party in the United Kingdom or the Progressive Conservative Party in Canada.
Archaic. A preservative agent or principle.

lib·er·al (lĭb'er-al, lĭb'ral)
adj.

Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States.

Tending to give freely; generous: a liberal benefactor.
Generous in amount; ample: a liberal serving of potatoes.
Not strict or literal; loose or approximate: a liberal translation.
Of, relating to, or based on the traditional arts and sciences of a college or university curriculum: a liberal education.

Archaic. Permissible or appropriate for a person of free birth; befitting a lady or gentleman.
Obsolete. Morally unrestrained; licentious.
n.
A person with liberal ideas or opinions.
Liberal A member of a Liberal political party.
Ta da

This should explain things fairly clearly....

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokecowspolitics.htm

Choice Excerpts:


AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

Republican/democrat: crooks who can't get a real job.
Liberal/conservative: The damn fools who follow them.

As great as you guys are, I was actually looking for the stereotypical ideals that each party holds and the differences between them all.

let me add on to that.

Conservative: You have two cows. Your dad had the same two cows, and so did his, back through generations. they stopped giving milk years ago, and are now growing mold, but by god, you arn't going to be going back on tradition.

Liberal: You have two cows, and you support their right to marry.

>Republican: The act of searching for unwanted guests
>Democrat: The act of eating beef
>Conservative: Lacking elephant sized tongs
>Liberal: Tone-deaf

Please Define:

>Republican
>Democrat
>Conservative
>Liberal

In the political context. Go.
How about describing why they've become Libertarians instead?

The Republican? He got busted.

The Democrat? He caught a whiff of economics.

The Conservative? He was lonely.

The Liberal? He became employed.

:p

How about describing why they've become Libertarians instead?

The Republican? He got busted.

The Democrat? He caught a whiff of economics.

The Conservative? He was lonely.

The Liberal? He became employed.

:p

And you Libertarians; to me you just seem a bunch who's job is to dance around, mock the two party system and chant "We know how to fix everything," But never really tell anyone.

Explain yourself.

Republican - Tends to be, but certainly isn't restrained to being, socially moralistic from a Christian point of view (What I mean by this is that they're supporters of any rights perceived as being harmless as long as they don't clash with religious doctrine. I.e. they were for civil rights but were, and still are, against gay rights.), economically capitalist (supporting a little government regulation as possible and free trade, and globalization), and fiscally responsible. The party is composed of people of ideologies including moderates both socially and economically, libertarians, neo-conservatives, religious conservatives, secular conservatives, wacky extremist conservatives, authoritarian capitalists (fascists), and sheep. On a federal level they're all for flinging open our borders and letting in anyone that cares to enter.

Democrat - Tends to be, but certainly isn't restrained to being, socally liberal (By this I mean they're for any civil rights as long as they aren't harmful to anyone.), economically capitalist (supporting relativly extensive government regulation, protectionism, and wary acknowledgment of the inevitablility globalization but a desire to impress their constituents by opposing it when they think they're looking.), and fiscally irresponsible. The party is composed of people of ideologies including moderates both socially and economically, libertarians, hippies, tochy-feely artists, moralistic liberals (read: union workers, their families, and most people that live in those large clusters of blue amongst red on county by county election result maps), secular liberals, wacky extremist liberals, authoritarian socialists, comminists, and all those moronic college students that call themselves anarchists and yet would affiliate themselves with the democratic party. On a federal level they're all for flinging open our borders and letting in anyone that cares to enter.

Liberal - That deserves a good answer, so look at wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberalism).

Conservative - Again, wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservatism) goes more in depth then I'm willing to.

And you Libertarians; to me you just seem a bunch who's job is to dance around, mock the two party system and chant "We know how to fix everything," But never really tell anyone.

Explain yourself.
Wow. I see you're not doing teh funney, and that's cool, even though I was.
Why not create a thread called "Libertarians: Explain Your Dumbass Ideas"...
And I'll be glad to post.
But I don't wanna hijack an amusing thread.

And you Libertarians; to me you just seem a bunch who's job is to dance around, mock the two party system and chant "We know how to fix everything," But never really tell anyone.

Explain yourself.

You must be kidding. That's not very hard informationt to find. Libertarianism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libertarian).

oooh,
libertarian: You have two cows, but no one will buy any milk from you because you are black, and this is kansas.

Wow. I see you're not doing teh funney, and that's cool, even though I was.
Why not create a thread called "Libertarians: Explain Your Dumbass Ideas"...
And I'll be glad to post.
But I don't wanna hijack an amusing thread.

You're right, this thread is too amusing.

LIBERTARIANISM (USA) You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."

You must be kidding. That's not very hard informationt to find. Libertarianism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libertarian).

I am familiar with the Libertarinism mentality, but politically I am not too sure of them in general. Wikipedia scares me anyway...

oooh,
libertarian: You have two cows, but no one will buy any milk from you because you are black, and this is kansas.
You fucked the original for your own spin.

For example, LIBERTARIANS believe in a government with the fewest laws possible. If a Libertarian has two cows and his neighbor has none, the Libertarian response is: So what?

If a REPUBLICAN has two cows and his neighbor has none, that's ok. If the neighbors have a child and come to him for milk, a Republican response is to raise the price if he can.

But a MARKETING MANAGER might not raise the price. More likely he will make the milk container opaque and put less in without changing the price.

If a DEMOCRAT has two cows, he sits by contentedly when the government he voted in taxes us to support people in other countries who have cows which were a gift from our government.

Now read for yourself how the rest of the scorecard works. Lawyers, stock analysts, small businesses, large businesses, global corporations, even Microsoft can be explained using just 2 cows.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.

A LIBERAL: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty. You beg your representative to tax cow owners. The government uses your money to buy an over-priced cow and give it to your neighbor. He knows nothing about cows and it dies. You feel close to god when Barbara Streisand (on CD) sings at the celebration of its life.

AMERICAN ENTERPRISE: You have two cows. You trade one for a bull and build a herd. You borrow money to buy everyone else's herd and raise the price of dairy products to meet your debt service. The government provides dairy price supports so your banker can sleep at night.

AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell both, lease them back, and build a herd by artificial insemination. You stage an IPO and use the proceeds to buy everyone else's herd. When you control all you can of the dairy market you do the same in every other country where you can get away with it, channeling your income to the country with the lowest taxes. You pay your CEO more than that country's annual GDP.

A SMALL BUSINESSMAN: You have two cows. So does your neighbor. Yours give great milk but milk is cheap. He makes great cheese and it's expensive. You borrow from a banker to buy his cheese, using your cows as collateral. Your cows get sick and you pay a veterinarian instead of the banker. The banker seizes your cows and finances them for your neighbor. The seizure is faster and the financing terms are more lenient if they golf together. If the neighbor attends a different church you will believe he made your cows sick. If he follows a different religion you will be certain he did.

A LAWYER: You have no cows. A cow owner found a pasture he wants to buy. Buying property is risky and the process arcane, requiring the service of a lawyer. You agree to represent him in exchange for two cows. The pasture has no road frontage and is land-locked. You must obtain a right-of-way. The eventual bill for your service rises to 10 cows. A faulty milking machine electrocutes your client's employee. His family sues for damages. You handle the defense in exchange for 500 cows. Your client sues the milking machine manufacturer. You make it a class action suit and settle for ten million cows for you, ten cows for each client. The judge rejects that as excessive and awards you one million cows. You know nothing about large scale dairy farming so your farm manager steals milk. You suspect it but you don't care because it's an exaggeratable tax loss.

A WALL STREET STOCK ANALYST: You have no cows but people accept you as an expert on them because your employer says you are. Your client whose cows are dying asks you to say nice things about his cows so he can sell them. You tout them in exchange for money to buy the healthiest cows you can find. Before you buy them you tell people they are dying to drive down the price.

US GOVERNMENT FARM POLICY: You have two cows. The government rules you can have only one, buys the other, shoots it, pays you for milk, pours it down the drain, and pleads to Congress for a larger budget.

A GERMAN CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. Then you covet it.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. If there is any left for you it is sour.

AN ITALIAN FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you milk. You form an underground and start a sabotage campaign to blow up the cows.

AN ADVERTISING MANAGER: You have two cows. You over-charge for dairy products to run advertising that overstates the importance of milk.

A FRENCH VILLAGER: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go home for lunch. Life is good.

AN ITALIAN VILLAGER: You have two cows but don't know where they are. While ambling around you meet a large, dark-haired woman. She makes you lunch. Life is good.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You inseminate them with imported sperm. Their calves are at the top of their class at cow schools around the world where they go to gather ideas.

A GERMAN FACTORY: You have two cows and your cousin has a brewery. You redesign the cows to convert beer to excellent quality milk. To describe them you create a 6 syllable noun. The cows demand 13 weeks annual vacation.

A RUSSIAN PEASANT: You have two cows but are unsure how numbers work and think you have five. After a bottle of vodka that rises to 12. You sell them on the black market and use the rubles to get drunk on vodka. The buyer was the Mafia. So was the seller of the vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows none of which belong to you. You charge high prices for pasturing them. If they give milk or calves you tell no one.

A DEVELOPING NATION CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. They lend you the money to buy 1000 cows. You expropriate them. The American corporation takes bankruptcy and pays all its remaining money to its officers, leaving nothing for stock and bond holders or creditors.

MICROSOFT: You have two cows. You make a deal with dairies to buy no one's milk but yours. Unable to sell milk, the other cow owners sell cheese. You give away cheese to drive them out of business. When you control dairyland you charge a royalty on every cheeseburger and grilled cheese sandwich sold in the world. You open milk and cheese stores using your power over dairy customers to steer them your way. Inside your crowded dairy stores are 100 unrelated stores paying you rent.

AN INDIAN PEASANT: You have two cows. You worship them while you and your family starve to death.

AN AMERICAN LAND GRANT COLLEGE: You have two cows. You pasture them on school lawns to cut and fertilize the grass. Your students get class credit for milking them, using the cream for teacher and staff coffee. You don't report any of this to the state legislature, knowing they will deduct the value from your budget request.

AN ISRAELI: You have two cows. You insist they be pastured on your enemy's farm at no cost. One day he milks them before you can. You demand that your government build a police outpost so your cows can be watched.

A PALESTINIAN VILLAGER: You have two cows. You use one for a shield while you throw rocks at the police. You put a time bomb inside the other and send it into an Israeli schoolyard. When both cows die you blame the Jews.

A POLE: You have two cows. You trade one to a Gypsy for seeds guaranteed to grow a beanstalk reaching up to the magic kingdom. They never sprout. You trade the second cow to the same Gypsy for seeds guaranteed to do better.

NEW AGE X GENERATION: You have two cows. You ask: "What's a cow?" You give them guitars but they do not learn to play. You buy their CD just the same.

A TEXAN: You have two cows. You eat them. When you bury the bones you strike oil on land whose mineral rights are owned by Texaco.

A VIRGINIAN: You have two cows. You devote years researching their family tree in an attempt to prove their forebears came to Virginia with the earliest settlers.

A WEST VIRGINIAN: You have two cows. You marry one and sneak out on Saturday night to have sex with the other.

A KENTUCKIAN: You have two cows. You tell people they are horses. New Yorkers believe you.

A WISCONSIN DAIRY: You have two cows. You market more cheese from them than anyone else and sell it to people who don't know ripe cheese from unripe. Your motto: Eat cheese or die.

A MEXICAN: You have two cows. You milk them once, then kill them. You sell the milk. You sell the meat. You sell the fat. You sell the bones. You sell the skin. You give all the money to a man who puts you in a crate for assured live delivery in Texas.

A SPANIARD: You have two cows. You trade them for a bull. In a macho moment the next day you are gored to death.

The TALIBAN: You have two cows. You must paint them black and keep their udders wrapped in cloth. If one should ever drop a cow pie while facing Mecca you will be beheaded. Your cousin, who has no cows, prays five times daily that he will be the first to report you.

A CANADIAN: You have two cows. On cold winter nights you sleep between them. You wonder why you smell that way.

A HUNGARIAN: You have two cows. One gives nothing but sour milk. You sell it to your brother without telling him.

A PHILADELPHIAN: You have two cows. Someone steals them.

A PSYCHOANALYST: You have two cows. You talk to them once a week about the value of wholesome milk. You expose their negative memories of calfhood. You raise their level of consciousness. One cow can cope with this. She becomes contented, filling her udder twice a day with sweet cream. You go off to give a report of your success at an international conference. You forget to have someone milk them while you're gone. Both die.

AN ENGLISHMAN: You have two cows. You call them bovines, or kine, or Alderney, or Jersey, or Guernsey, or Galloway, or Angus, or Aberdeen, or Holstein, or anything except cows. You will be an expert on which of your kings and queens loved cows, which merely tolerated them, and which hated them, and why. You will keep a record of what they are costing you down to the penny. You will give each of them a name. Even though they can never stray out of sight they will have bell collars, old ones that were handed down to you.

A CONGOLESE: You have two cows. When the highest ranking government official in town finds out, you will be jailed and they will be his.

A CUBAN: You have two cows. You leave one with your family and take the other to Florida in a leaky boat. The cow makes it but you drown. The cow will later become Archbishop of Miami.

AN ANIMAL RIGHTIST: You invade someone's pasture and drive his cows out. They wander onto the highway and people and cows die. You feel proud.

A VEGETARIAN: You have two cows. You compete with them for food.

:p

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.


XD


umm to define.... Republicans believe in making money and no Social Equality (yay!...i think that's what they do)

Democrats, have more socialitic tendencies, and believe everyone is equal...then wonder why production is done, despite having 2 gimps doing the brunt of the manual labor. :P

Conservatives: Prefer to keep things how they are right now, and don't want to change, depending on what type, they might even feel for going "back".

Liberals: Want to progress so everyone has the right to do whatever they want, to the point where we forget if the government has a point in anything anymore.

Liberals: Want to progress so everyone has the right to do whatever they want, to the point where we forget if the government has a point in anything anymore.
Sounds more like we Libertarians.
Liberals are too anal about economics to deserve that statement.

Sounds more like we Libertarians.
Liberals are too anal about economics to deserve that statement.


Well technically Neo-Con's might prefer a religious theocracy(or something along that line)..., oh yeah i should've posted that down as well! I was going from Moderate to Extreme... oh well people can read this, mainly because i'm too lazy to edit my post as of the moment.

I am familiar with the Libertarinism mentality, but politically I am not too sure of them in general. Wikipedia scares me anyway...

Libertarians 'scare' you, Wikipedia 'scares' you. What gives? Do you intentionally close yourself off to information? If an libertarian posted a definition of what a libertarian is would you refuse to read it because they 'scare' you? Obviously you don't want to know what a libertarian is if you won't read a page that tells what it is.

Well technically Neo-Con's might prefer a religious theocracy(or something along that line)..., oh yeah i should've posted that down as well! I was going from Moderate to Extreme... oh well people can read this, mainly because i'm too lazy to edit my post as of the moment.

Neo-con's aren't really religiously motivated. If it is benefitial to them they'll use religious pretext to justify their actions. They aren't religious theocrats though. They're very militant, pro big business, pro big government, pro as-much-power-for-themselves-as-possible people. Basically they're Democrats that went Republican and adopted all the worst ideas of both parties as their own. If they had to worry about the eyes of God being upon them they'd never be able to pull the crap they'd like to.

Well technically Neo-Con's might prefer a religious theocracy(or something along that line)..., oh yeah i should've posted that down as well! I was going from Moderate to Extreme... oh well people can read this, mainly because i'm too lazy to edit my post as of the moment.
Neo-Con's : You have two cows. You're beheaded if you're bull isn't circumsized. You're stoned if you're female is in heat, and you happen to come anywhere near.
The bible may be translated loosely when referencing cows.

Current Southern Baptist opinion holds that they meant cars.

Libertarians 'scare' you, Wikipedia 'scares' you. What gives? Do you intentionally close yourself off to information? If an libertarian posted a definition of what a libertarian is would you refuse to read it because they 'scare' you? Obviously you don't want to know what a libertarian is if you won't read a page that tells what it is.




Sorry, I wasn't clear. I want YOUR definition of Libertarian. I don't want Wikipedia, there is too much resource-whoring on this forum as it is.

Don't jump to conclusions so fast, it doesn't go with your hat.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I want YOUR definition of Libertarian. I don't want Wikipedia, there is too much resource-whoring on this forum as it is.

Don't jump to conclusions so fast, it doesn't go with your hat.

Sorry for whoring sources of information. I'll stick with the next best thing: rumor and wild speculation.

Here is the gist of the Libertarian platform:

1: A mostly unregulated free-market economy, including support of the right to keep and bear arms, opposition to drug prohibition, and elimination of the state-supported social welfare system.

2: Strong civil liberties including free speech, freedom of association, sexual freedom.

3: A foreign policy of free trade and a reluctance to use military intervention.

Libertarians claim that their platform follows from the ultimate value of individual liberty. In their Statement of Principles, they say "We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose." To this end, Libertarians want to reduce the size of government (eliminating many of its current functions entirely), and "support the repeal of all taxation"

The support of a repeal of all taxation is obviously silly and I have a feeling they'll capitulate on it soon since their desire to go 'mainstream' is beginning to override their support of unrealistic ideals.

Sorry for whoring sources of information. I'll stick with the next best thing: rumor and wild speculation.

Here is the gist of the Libertarian platform:

1: A mostly unregulated free-market economy, including support of the right to keep and bear arms, opposition to drug prohibition, and elimination of the state-supported social welfare system.

2: Strong civil liberties including free speech, freedom of association, sexual freedom.

3: A foreign policy of free trade and a reluctance to use military intervention.

Libertarians claim that their platform follows from the ultimate value of individual liberty. In their Statement of Principles, they say "We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose." To this end, Libertarians want to reduce the size of government (eliminating many of its current functions entirely), and "support the repeal of all taxation"

The support of a repeal of all taxation is obviously silly and I have a feeling they'll capitulate on it soon since their desire to go 'mainstream' is beginning to override their support of unrealistic ideals.
You had me all along, straight down the party line (not just the philo)...
Until you got to "repeal of all taxation".

Both myself, and Charles Murray beg to differ there.
Significantly lowered taxes to reduce government bloat isn't "all".
Just most.

Sorry for whoring sources of information. I'll stick with the next best thing: rumor and wild speculation.

Here is the gist of the Libertarian platform:

1: A mostly unregulated free-market economy, including support of the right to keep and bear arms, opposition to drug prohibition, and elimination of the state-supported social welfare system.

2: Strong civil liberties including free speech, freedom of association, sexual freedom.

3: A foreign policy of free trade and a reluctance to use military intervention.

Libertarians claim that their platform follows from the ultimate value of individual liberty. In their Statement of Principles, they say "We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose." To this end, Libertarians want to reduce the size of government (eliminating many of its current functions entirely), and "support the repeal of all taxation"

The support of a repeal of all taxation is obviously silly and I have a feeling they'll capitulate on it soon since their desire to go 'mainstream' is beginning to override their support of unrealistic ideals.


Thank you; I am now that much more enlightened.

Thank you; I am now that much more enlightened.
His info was pretty sound, save the taxation.
Possibly at fault with symantics, he had taxation wrong, by referring to party, not Utopian philosphies.

Republican — Very conservative political party
Democrat — Conservative political party
Conservative — One in favor of deregulating capitalism and shifting the tax burden away from the rich while maintaining or creating laws targeting homosexuals, radicals, women, and some racial minorities.
Liberal — One in favor of removing some laws of various kinds enforcing discrimination, religion, victimless crimes, etc. while giving token concessions to the working class.