NationStates Jolt Archive

I think this was done before but what the hell. . .

Write a crap poem and post it here! Someday, maybe a book can be made, naw.

Here's mine: She's wicked nasty
do you love
rhinoplasty on this dove?

My job
It really sucks bad
Shoot me

My job
It really sucks bad
Shoot me
ok http://community.the-underdogs.org/smiley/armed/2ar15.gif

I know a Guy
His name is memorable, his manner unforgetable
His feet are cold upon the basement floor
Until I take them in the crook of my knee
And pull the chill into myself
Watching him plunder
With thumbsticks at hand
Sitting, being held,
Holding


You're a big bananna... Wait....

Edit: I'm Intellocracy

crappy poetry
stupid lines with no meter
i can't understand

Here I sit,
All broken hearted.
Crap is it?
I've departed.

Forever I shall see

Useless people

Carrying on about the

Kings tyranny

Over the little man

Forgetting about the troubles in life

Forever never remembering

i feel so tired,
so very very sleepy,
i could just lay my head
down to rest...
zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz


zzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzz
zzzzzzzzz
zzzz

*snores*

The pie...
it is like my brother...
only closer.

The wind...
it runs through the wind...
like a streaker at a football game

Poetry...
is gay, sucks big time, and molests children...
like Michael Jackson

The end.

(BTW- to all the Homosexual people who are saying "j00 sed gh3y, burnz0rz!", it's an expression.)

I type tun-tuq words on my ewall keyboard,
and attempt to not franfily trip over its cord,
knowing danfad bruises,
mellow my jift muses,
The zardon monitor sings its song of "humroo,"
as all kildef appliances are wont to do,
O! Computer beige and so adrically dull,
the gonwok mysteries over which I mull,
the answer, so pingan and pennish true,
the answer, my logish friend, is forty-two.

Written with many apologies...

Here's a small glimpse into my insanity:

Hearken unto me,
and I shall relate to thee
a tale of great mirth and terrible woe.
It ‘twas all about a time
of great joy and rhyme
which lasted ‘til Diablo was called a hobo.

He got really mad,
But then he got Glad
Which caused him to go SSJ3.
He ate a whole village,
Which he did before pillage,
And then he got wise and killed me

'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Raab Himself

Out in the hallways soon came Bam
With plans for Dico to shit on Don Vito's ham
Phil and the Ape were all snug in their beds
While visions of mammary glands danced in Dunn's head

When out in the hallway arose such a matter
While squatting and shitting, Dico did splatter
Across the hall. Bam flew like a flash
So Dico could wipe with Don Vito's cash

Bam and Jenn's b***st
And a nice little b**w
Gave the lustre of midday
To objects below

So then what to Bam's wandering eye should appear?
Nothing Raab and his famous wang-ir
He knew that Raab would soon be pissed
Cuz suddenly electricity was sucked through his d**k

Huge Hefner, fat fuck, Don VIto in came
Screaming and yelling, "I'm sick of your games!"
"Don Vito, why the fuck are you sad mad?"
"Bam you're an asshole, sushit in my ham"

And so it goes on
To see who's the man
Merry Christmas to all
From Viva La Bam

*This is a parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas I wrote last Christmas time. I wanted to see what people thought. I know it's vulgar. I'm sorry if it offends you.*

'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even Raab Himself

Out in the hallways soon came Bam
With plans for Dico to shit on Don Vito's ham
Phil and the Ape were all snug in their beds
While visions of mammary glands danced in Dunn's head

When out in the hallway arose such a matter
While squatting and shitting, Dico did splatter
Across the hall. Bam flew like a flash
So Dico could wipe with Don Vito's cash

Bam and Jenn's b***st
And a nice little b**w
Gave the lustre of midday
To objects below

So then what to Bam's wandering eye should appear?
Nothing Raab and his famous wang-ir
He knew that Raab would soon be pissed
Cuz suddenly electricity was sucked through his d**k

Huge Hefner, fat fuck, Don VIto in came
Screaming and yelling, "I'm sick of your games!"
"Don Vito, why the fuck are you sad mad?"
"Bam you're an asshole, sushit in my ham"

And so it goes on
To see who's the man
Merry Christmas to all
From Viva La Bam

*This is a parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas I wrote last Christmas time. I wanted to see what people thought. I know it's vulgar. I'm sorry if it offends you.*

:eek:

Haven't you ever seen Viva La Bam?

Never heard of it. A movie?

oh what is love?
is it like a dove?
or a glove, or a playful shove?
the only thing i can tell
is my heart leaps
whenever you yell
my name.

Originally posted by Der Lieben
Never heard of it. A movie?

It's on MTV. Have you ever seen Jackass or any of the CKY videos?

PM, your poem was very sweet. :)

I still think mine wins the most weirdness/bizarre points.

I wrote this back in my uber-cheesy years. I'm still a christian, but not quite so nauseating.

I shall tell thee now
Of love’s greatest how
That has up until now perplexed me.
All of it was created
By God who himself fated
To die on the Cross for me.

Yo Homie
Scottomie
blaggo
nyaggo
gert
ert
myter

Twere a sonny eventide
Whenn a knight rodde (pronounced kernicht)
O'er the greene hills.
"By Goddes bones!"
Quoth he, "I must be wood!
For 'tis not a gentil cors
I see before me, but
One with warrtes on his visage,
And a postule lyk a blancmange!"
This Knight had a worthy wit,
He drank some corny ale as he sit,
For though the moon be full and white,
Holy Sheep-boon potage tast lyk shite.

Ok, here's my attempt at bad poetry:
THE RABBIT

As I went for a walk in the park
I heard a dog bark
I turned and saw a little rabbit
who look at me startled
Perhaps thinking I was going to stab it
Oh little rabbit, look at me
why can't I be more like thee?
I could hop and eat carrot
and maybe make friends with a parrot.




Do you really want me to continue this?

an ode to tits


tits are great
really fuckin cool
especially that bird
from total recall

The mosquitoes whine
Part of why I hate them so
Plus they suck my blood


.... why YES, I do live in Australia, and I AM being eaten alive by mosquitoes currently. How kind of you to ask.

The mosquitoes whine
Part of why I hate them so
Plus they suck my blood


.... why YES, I do live in Australia, and I AM being eaten alive by mosquitoes currently. How kind of you to ask.
better than being frozen to death in Britian i'd guess :(

Cold sucks
Water sucks
____________+
Ice sucks

better than being frozen to death in Britian i'd guess :(

I say we swap places immediately so I can curl up with my cats under a blanket and laugh at you trying to fight off swarms of mozzies.

No wait, I'm not meant to say that last clause out loud.

... Bugger.

Seven spinning mirrors / All in a row / I dropped me sandwich / Bo.

The mosquitoes whine
Part of why I hate them so
Plus they suck my blood


.... why YES, I do live in Australia, and I AM being eaten alive by mosquitoes currently. How kind of you to ask.

Australia? Pffffft!


Try living in Panama. In the middle of the F*cking rainforest. The Mosquitos are everywhere!

That's why I hide inside.

Pickles and cabbage and rats all around
we hop in the lorry and drive back to town
and though I'm not English I borrow their word
and shake the hand of a fat man named Kurd.

I got bit yesterday by a damn mozzy...it's still winter here :confused:

I hate my kind and I hate them so
Like a swarm of insects they do not know
Ignorance is the sweetness of their bliss
Their presence I shall not miss
For the hipocracy of this phrase
"I'm trying to be different in more than one way"
"So I'll wear make up, dress in black, and break the confirmity."
"Just like the other eight kids sitting next to me"

All I must say to this little annoying fuss...
All your base are belong to us :p

(I'm bored)

shitting smelly
inside
my pooper