Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:46
I'm feeling pretty vegged-out right now so I think I'll attempt to entertain the millions of people who will read this sentence and then press the Back key without reading the entire thing. Raise your hand if you got through that first sentence without feeling the temptation to hit the Back key.
(waits)
I thought so. On a lighter note, I want to talk about air. Air. Who came up with that name? Why does it exist? Why does the human body only need less than 20% of what is in air? My little brother was asking these very same questions. It seems he was under the impression that air was made up of just oxygen. I had to quickly inform him that it was in fact primarily made up of nitrogen (side track: how many of you saw the old movie Mars Attacks? They said in that movie that the aliens breathed nitrogen and that's why they had to wear silly looking helmets, when in fact they could have been breathing the whole time! Isn't that a knee-slapper!). Anyways, I went on to imagine what it would be like if air was primarily oxygen. Well to start things off, everyone would feel a little loopy all the time. Then of course we would have the problem with fire. Imagine with me back 200,000 years.....
Oog: (grunting in caveman fashion) "Hey guys! Look! I invented! I call fire!"
(Strikes some flint)
Fire: "FOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
(Entire planet goes up in flames)
Urg: (rolls eyes) "Nice one Oog."
We would definitely have some major issues with getting things done around here. Imagine the traffic jams if we all had to push our cars to work! How long coffee would take to make! Indeed, oxygen is begining to sound like a bad thing.
Of course, you can't talk about air without sooner or later talking about sex.
Why? I don't know, but lets talk about it anyways. Lately I found a great book that I think everybody should read at some point. The book is called "Where do Babies come From?" It's for parents at the inevitable point in time where their kids ask that dreaded question. This book comes with pictures and detailed information so that your child will never again, no matter if it's a life or death situation, ask you a question for fear of you embarrassing the snot out of them. This might also cause them to fear nakedness, the opposite sex, ect., but I've always felt that the human race is zooming away towards oblivion anyways. (whispers) Zoom Zoom!
Just because I'm feeling curious as to how many people will answer this truthfully, How many of you readers are virgins? Or not virgins? I look foward to the wonderfully detailed accounts of your first love (lust) as a healthy invasion of your personal life. As for the virgins out there, hang around and maybe you'll get a few helpful tips.
(waits)
I thought so. On a lighter note, I want to talk about air. Air. Who came up with that name? Why does it exist? Why does the human body only need less than 20% of what is in air? My little brother was asking these very same questions. It seems he was under the impression that air was made up of just oxygen. I had to quickly inform him that it was in fact primarily made up of nitrogen (side track: how many of you saw the old movie Mars Attacks? They said in that movie that the aliens breathed nitrogen and that's why they had to wear silly looking helmets, when in fact they could have been breathing the whole time! Isn't that a knee-slapper!). Anyways, I went on to imagine what it would be like if air was primarily oxygen. Well to start things off, everyone would feel a little loopy all the time. Then of course we would have the problem with fire. Imagine with me back 200,000 years.....
Oog: (grunting in caveman fashion) "Hey guys! Look! I invented! I call fire!"
(Strikes some flint)
Fire: "FOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
(Entire planet goes up in flames)
Urg: (rolls eyes) "Nice one Oog."
We would definitely have some major issues with getting things done around here. Imagine the traffic jams if we all had to push our cars to work! How long coffee would take to make! Indeed, oxygen is begining to sound like a bad thing.
Of course, you can't talk about air without sooner or later talking about sex.
Why? I don't know, but lets talk about it anyways. Lately I found a great book that I think everybody should read at some point. The book is called "Where do Babies come From?" It's for parents at the inevitable point in time where their kids ask that dreaded question. This book comes with pictures and detailed information so that your child will never again, no matter if it's a life or death situation, ask you a question for fear of you embarrassing the snot out of them. This might also cause them to fear nakedness, the opposite sex, ect., but I've always felt that the human race is zooming away towards oblivion anyways. (whispers) Zoom Zoom!
Just because I'm feeling curious as to how many people will answer this truthfully, How many of you readers are virgins? Or not virgins? I look foward to the wonderfully detailed accounts of your first love (lust) as a healthy invasion of your personal life. As for the virgins out there, hang around and maybe you'll get a few helpful tips.