NationStates Jolt Archive


Air and Sex

Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:46
I'm feeling pretty vegged-out right now so I think I'll attempt to entertain the millions of people who will read this sentence and then press the Back key without reading the entire thing. Raise your hand if you got through that first sentence without feeling the temptation to hit the Back key.

(waits)


I thought so. On a lighter note, I want to talk about air. Air. Who came up with that name? Why does it exist? Why does the human body only need less than 20% of what is in air? My little brother was asking these very same questions. It seems he was under the impression that air was made up of just oxygen. I had to quickly inform him that it was in fact primarily made up of nitrogen (side track: how many of you saw the old movie Mars Attacks? They said in that movie that the aliens breathed nitrogen and that's why they had to wear silly looking helmets, when in fact they could have been breathing the whole time! Isn't that a knee-slapper!). Anyways, I went on to imagine what it would be like if air was primarily oxygen. Well to start things off, everyone would feel a little loopy all the time. Then of course we would have the problem with fire. Imagine with me back 200,000 years.....


Oog: (grunting in caveman fashion) "Hey guys! Look! I invented! I call fire!"

(Strikes some flint)

Fire: "FOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

(Entire planet goes up in flames)

Urg: (rolls eyes) "Nice one Oog."


We would definitely have some major issues with getting things done around here. Imagine the traffic jams if we all had to push our cars to work! How long coffee would take to make! Indeed, oxygen is begining to sound like a bad thing.

Of course, you can't talk about air without sooner or later talking about sex.
Why? I don't know, but lets talk about it anyways. Lately I found a great book that I think everybody should read at some point. The book is called "Where do Babies come From?" It's for parents at the inevitable point in time where their kids ask that dreaded question. This book comes with pictures and detailed information so that your child will never again, no matter if it's a life or death situation, ask you a question for fear of you embarrassing the snot out of them. This might also cause them to fear nakedness, the opposite sex, ect., but I've always felt that the human race is zooming away towards oblivion anyways. (whispers) Zoom Zoom!

Just because I'm feeling curious as to how many people will answer this truthfully, How many of you readers are virgins? Or not virgins? I look foward to the wonderfully detailed accounts of your first love (lust) as a healthy invasion of your personal life. As for the virgins out there, hang around and maybe you'll get a few helpful tips.
Pure Metal
28-02-2005, 02:52
*puts hand in air*


*reads "(waits)"*





*hits backspace*





*edits post later to say 'backspace' rather than the idiotic 'return key'*
Bolol
28-02-2005, 02:52
lol!

(explodes)
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:53
lol!

(explodes)

Why did you explode?
Kervoskia
28-02-2005, 02:53
lol!

(explodes)
lol!

(implodes)
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:54
Sure, whatever you say!
Neo-Anarchists
28-02-2005, 02:55
It would be tough to have sex if there was no air...
Hey wait, what about erotic asphyxiation?
Damn, I destroyed my own theory.
:(
Vittos Ordination
28-02-2005, 02:55
Can I get the Cliff Notes version?
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:56
Hmmmmmm, it would be pretty hard to meet women if their was no air to expel stupid pick-up lines...

Although.... wait.... no nevermind.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 02:58
Can I get the Cliff Notes version?

Yes. As follows:

You are lazy. Air is good, then it is bad. Sex. Book. Question about Virginity.
Pure Metal
28-02-2005, 03:01
You are lazy. Air is good, then it is bad. Sex. Book. Question about Virginity.
reading that without context just really confused the hell out of me :confused:

lol read it again :)
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:01
Lol! It should.
Vittos Ordination
28-02-2005, 03:03
Yes. As follows:

You are lazy. Air is good, then it is bad. Sex. Book. Question about Virginity.

Sounds interesting, not enough though. The Cliffnotes spoiled if for me.
Liberal Robenia
28-02-2005, 03:04
No comment.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:04
Sounds interesting, not enough though. The Cliffnotes spoiled if for me.

Well, read the posts in linear order and you'll get it.
Dresophila Prime
28-02-2005, 03:04
Is there a transition between "air is good, then bad" and "sex?"
Liberal Robenia
28-02-2005, 03:06
Where do babies come from?
Vittos Ordination
28-02-2005, 03:07
Where do babies come from?

Me and your mother. :eek:
Pure Metal
28-02-2005, 03:10
Where do babies come from?
me and your mother ;)



uh oh Vittos! fighting over Robenia's mother again :p
Neo-Anarchists
28-02-2005, 03:10
Where do babies come from?
Equal parts sex and air.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:11
Hmmmm. A thread with a note about sex is quickly becoming an immature insult throwing thread. Who could have predicted that.

(pause)


I applaud you all! : )
Vittos Ordination
28-02-2005, 03:12
me and your mother ;)



uh oh Vittos! fighting over Robenia's mother again :p

Bring it on, she's my one and only.
Coral Straits
28-02-2005, 03:15
Sex and Air, The polluting of, are the two things that the human race can practice flawlessly without comparison, well, maybe the dolphin, but all they do is swim around all day and have sex. We just pollute the air and have sex, I wish I was a dolphin.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:16
Sex and Air, The polluting of, are the two things that the human race can practice flawlessly without comparison, well, maybe the dolphin, but all they do is swim around all day and have sex. We just pollute the air and have sex, I wish I was a dolphin.

Yeah, being a dolphin would be better than being human. I wish I could have sex and swim all day.
Liberal Robenia
28-02-2005, 03:18
Sex and Air, The polluting of, are the two things that the human race can practice flawlessly without comparison, well, maybe the dolphin, but all they do is swim around all day and have sex. We just pollute the air and have sex, I wish I was a dolphin.
Fish have sex and swim. That's all they do every single day, but then again, they have no memory of it. So I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:19
Fish have sex and swim. That's all they do every single day, but then again, they have no memory of it. So I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing.

Good thing. I don't care if I can't remember it. Live in the moment, I always say.
Coral Straits
28-02-2005, 03:27
But dolphins have sex for entertainment as well as procreation while fish only procreate.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:28
You would know this why? either way is fine with me.
Kleptonis
28-02-2005, 03:28
Great read, I can't wait for the movie version!
Coral Straits
28-02-2005, 03:30
You would know this why? either way is fine with me.

I was once a dolphin in a previous life. The Discovery Channel's not too bad either.
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:31
Great read, I can't wait for the movie version!

Good, it'll come out as soon as I get funding, actors, directors. Maybe in 2006. May. The 20th.
Stransworthe
28-02-2005, 03:34
**raises hand**

VIRGIN IS ME!!!
Lord Grey II
28-02-2005, 03:36
Someone answered the question! I'm so proud! Oh maybe I should answer the question, just so we're all sharing personal info. NOT A VIRGIN. Next!
EmoBuddy
28-02-2005, 03:41
Air - it just won't stop bothering me. I mean, can a guy at least have his personal space without having to be surrounded by it all the time? Can he?!!
Cogitation
28-02-2005, 04:34
Great read, I can't wait for the movie version!
Good, it'll come out as soon as I get funding, actors, directors. Maybe in 2006. May. The 20th.
Wouldn't taking a camera to the local insane asylum suffice?

Oh! That's right! General is the local insane asylum! :D

Air - it just won't stop bothering me. I mean, can a guy at least have his personal space without having to be surrounded by it all the time? Can he?!!
Yes, you can. ...but then you would die. :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Autocraticama
28-02-2005, 04:42
i give up on this species.
Neo-Anarchists
28-02-2005, 04:44
i give up on this species.
Maybe you can become the first transspecial.
Coral Straits
28-02-2005, 04:47
That would be a little strange.
You Forgot Poland
28-02-2005, 17:30
You know, I thought that this thread was going to be about French Band Air and sex, which would have been a lot more interesting.
Free Garza
28-02-2005, 17:45
Air is a basic human need. So is sex. Get over it, and satisfy them already!
Gnostikos
28-02-2005, 18:16
On a lighter note, I want to talk about air. Air. Who came up with that name?
Well, it is derived from the Greek aêr, then went to Latin in the form of ær, then to the French air, then to English.

Why does it exist?
That is a little too complex to explain here, because the atmosphere has changed so much since the creation of the planet.

Why does the human body only need less than 20% of what is in air?
Learn the Krebs cycle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krebs_cycle). Oxygen's role in the body is explained in it. However, it's a little difficult without a little organic chemistry under your belt.

Anyways, I went on to imagine what it would be like if air was primarily oxygen. Well to start things off, everyone would feel a little loopy all the time.
And by loopy, I'm guessing you mean passed out because that's what breathing pure O2 does to you.
Disganistan
28-02-2005, 18:50
I was a virgin once.