NationStates Jolt Archive

First, let me define cheating. If you do it with the intent to cheat, regardless of whether you engage in actual sexual activity, you're cheating. Don't get technical here and try to weasel out with, "Well, we never actually.....". And don't pretend that you happened to get that drunk and sleep over at his/her house and you never INTENDED anything to happen. Let's be honest (the poll is anonymous).

Do you cheat on your partner in relationships?

Do you cheat on your partner in relationships?
Hell no.

You need a button for "I have noone to cheat on :( " :p

Hehe ... should have made the poll public. :D

I have to admit, that although I have never SLEPT with someone else, or engaged in overtly sexual behaviour, I did have the vague intention of cheating after my husband cheated on me. But it just felt too icky...and I think it's different for women (generalising, I know). The guys I thought I'd cheat with were just in it for some *possible* sex...as they would have been with any chick. If I don't feel special, or wanted exclusively, I guess it just doesn't work for me. Whereas most guys I know who cheat are fine if the girl doesn't give a shit about them. Hmmm.

Hehe ... should have made the poll public. :D
I thought that might skew the honesty of the responses a tad:)

You need a button for "I have noone to cheat on :( " :p

Heheh. I am somewhat within that lines. :D

Honestly I've been out with a few girls. But my culture is still as such that sex is still quite a taboo. And although it happeneds, I'm not that much of a stud to be having many umpteen women drooling over me that I can sleep around with.

Never cheated on a partner... but I have orchestrated a situation where my boyfriend (who was my friend's ex, she set us up) cheated on me (with the friend). I was trying to get them back together because I was, quite frankly, sick of him. So I agreed to a sleep over with them both at her place and, after much hinting to him at the possibility of a threesome, didn't turn up. They, of course, had sex, since they'd only been broken up for a month and still liked each other. I repeated the procedure once more and then stopped talking to him for a while. Voila, relationship drift and me free to be single again.

No. I don't think there's an excuse for cheating, if you don't want to be with someone anymore, grow a pair and be honest with them. If it's just a matter of their being some issues, talk about them, the other person might not even realize something is bothering you. Sure, honesty can hurt, but it will hurt a person more in the long run to lead them on and make them think everything is okay when it's not.

The first girl i ever loved cheated on me......tore my heart to pieces.......and it was with my friend.......it resulted in me atempting suicide 3 times and refraining from emotion for the better part of a long time......im realy pitiful....if any1 has read what i posted on Ideal Mate youd know im in love with a girl who hasnt been with a guy more than 2 months in her entire life...i do so hate love in any form....almost attempted suicide valintines day......

I have met quite a few people who claim to have "open" relationships, where they are allowed to sleep with whomever they wish...but it always tends to be a very one sided thing, where the guy loves it, and the woman pretends to, but ends up being consumed by jealousy.

Then again, I know a lot of people who have serious problems with monogamy. I was thinking last night, it'd be nice, especially in cases where you married really young, to take some "time off" to screw around a bit, then come back, no hard feelings. But there would always be hard feelings, I think...

:fluffle:

The first girl i ever loved cheated on me......tore my heart to pieces.......and it was with my friend.......it resulted in me atempting suicide 3 times and refraining from emotion for the better part of a long time......im realy pitiful....if any1 has read what i posted on Ideal Mate youd know im in love with a girl who hasnt been with a guy more than 2 months in her entire life...i do so hate love in any form....almost attempted suicide valintines day......
Yikes! I'm sure this has been said to you before...but perhaps you should shift your interest to someone more likely to be monogamous?

EDIT: self-love is key before you can really love someone else...I hope you have some people who can support you through what seems like a difficult time for you!

I can imagine though...once you've been with someone long enough that the desire to have some really exciting sex might get to you....until you realise that you're not really all that in the mood for excitement when it comes in the form of drunken, immature frat boys:) (or sorority girls)

I was cheated on, not once, but three times that I know of. I think there may have been more because I found a membership card to a sex clud in my partner's name and of the three times I know of none of them involved the club. Then again it could be simply a way of getting cheaper pornographic DVDs, you know, 'join today and get 20% off!' kind of thing.

After I found out I had been cheated on twice I went alone to a friend's party, all miserable and picked up, then I realised I couldn't do anything because of they way I felt so I caught a cab home.

Edit: Ohh, and once I was at a bar with a friens of mine and she was not inclined towards any of the guys (because she is a lesbian) who wouldn't leave her alone so she got me to pash her so they'd fuck off.

I never had a girlfriend more than two months..but that's mainly because I'm an asshole and have a habit of driving everyone away.. Anyway, Orange.

No. I really don't think I could live with myself if I did. My ladyfriend is so sensitive, too, that I couldn't bear to break her heart like that.

You need a button for "I have noone to cheat on :( " :p


I agree :( plus this is what I think of dishonesty which is cheating :gundge:

Do I cheat? No.
It's not like it's hard not to anyway. :p I'm too in love.

Well, I swore I would never put up with a cheater...and I was always certain I would leave if ever my spouse or partner cheated on me. It happened twice, and though I left for a while, I think we were able to work it out. I guess third time would be the charm...I'd take the kids and leave. I think. It's tough to say until you're actually in the position, and it depends on the rest of your relationship.

Anyway...bad, bad, bad...

Yikes! I'm sure this has been said to you before...but perhaps you should shift your interest to someone more likely to be monogamous?

EDIT: self-love is key before you can really love someone else...I hope you have some people who can support you through what seems like a difficult time for you!

its funny though because all my friends are suicidel too....im such a pecimist....i do so hate love :(

No, never. As Callisdrun said, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'd just feel guilty and tell her anyways. Plus if your relationship is really that goodm you don't fell the desire to cheat. I for one, am perfectly content to sticking with one person.

Never cheated on a partner... but I have orchestrated a situation where my boyfriend (who was my friend's ex, she set us up) cheated on me (with the friend). I was trying to get them back together because I was, quite frankly, sick of him. So I agreed to a sleep over with them both at her place and, after much hinting to him at the possibility of a threesome, didn't turn up. They, of course, had sex, since they'd only been broken up for a month and still liked each other. I repeated the procedure once more and then stopped talking to him for a while. Voila, relationship drift and me free to be single again.
:eek: Thats both brilliant and evil at the same time! I love it!!!! Was one of the reasons that you set him up to see if he would be unfaithful? I mean, Im sorry if this sounds rude since I don't know him - but the guy must be a moron to cheat on someone like you... In the end of course it all works out since you deserve better - thats awesome Shaed! Way to win one! ;)

...and in reply to the topic, since thats what brought me in here ... I cheated once in a relationship by making out with another girl, and felt so awful after that I could never do it again. The worst part was, I broke up with the girl because after me almost pushing her out the door while she was trying so hard to hang on to me (metaphorically of course) I used the excuse for the final termination on the fact that she had (albeit innocently) kissed another guy on New Years. Talk about hypocrasy, I felt pretty shitty about that too - its not a mistake I plan on ever making again.

id love to stick with one person....her.....its just she doesnt want to be with me :( :( :( :( im hopeless

she has the most buetiful name.....hannah

she has the most buetiful name.....hannah
I know what it feels like to love and not feel it in return - my advice to you, if there isn't anything there - dont force it, or tell yourself that there is. I am guilty of that quite often myself, and I'm telling you now, for your own sake, that it will only bring you more displeasure to hang on where there's nothing left to cling to.

If, on the other hand, there are some signs of there being something (and I mean definite signs) then go for it, and dont waste any time doing so. The only pain worse than screwing something up, is having regrets over not having tried to do it at all. Swallow your pride, buck up, get out there and do it man!!!

she has the most buetiful name.....hannah
Um no offense...but maybe you could start another thread in which to obsess over this girl...and maybe get some advice on your suicidal feelings...I'm not sure this is the place for it.

yes im often shunned for this bastard love i feel and the suicidel tendancies i have.......i suppose your right.....

Edit: its just im realy depressed right now......

I would be happy enough to get the girl I want.

yes im often shunned for this bastard love i feel and the suicidel tendancies i have.......i suppose your right.....

Edit: its just im realy depressed right now......
And I respect that. You'd probably be able to really talk it out if you so wished if you started a thread to do just that. It's just a suggestion.

Feh. I'd have to have a relationship to even think about cheating.

:eek: Thats both brilliant and evil at the same time! I love it!!!! Was one of the reasons that you set him up to see if he would be unfaithful?

Hee, nono. I just wanted to get rid of him - I *wanted* him to sleep with his ex, because I knew they'd get back together if he did.

And everyone always says it's evil, and I never get why... I mean, not only did he get sex AND a new un-ex-girlfriend who actually liked him, but he got to avoid breaking up with me/being broken up with by me...

Maybe I'm just too much of a girl to understand :p

I mean, Im sorry if this sounds rude since I don't know him - but the guy must be a moron to cheat on someone like you... In the end of course it all works out since you deserve better - thats awesome Shaed! Way to win one! ;)

*blush* you're far too kind (not that I'm complaining, mind ^.^)
You evidently deserve a :fluffle:

I've never had a real relationship, but one of my biggest fears is that I may not be able to control myself and end up cheating... :(

Never cheated on a partner... but I have orchestrated a situation where my boyfriend (who was my friend's ex, she set us up) cheated on me (with the friend). I was trying to get them back together because I was, quite frankly, sick of him. So I agreed to a sleep over with them both at her place and, after much hinting to him at the possibility of a threesome, didn't turn up. They, of course, had sex, since they'd only been broken up for a month and still liked each other. I repeated the procedure once more and then stopped talking to him for a while. Voila, relationship drift and me free to be single again.
That's genius....I think.
I'm probably the worst judge of genius and not genius in this situation, as I have the social aptitude of a piece of cardboard (and a roughly equal attention span as well), but I still say it's genius.

I'm glad to see that so many people are remaining faithful to their partners.

I've never had a real relationship, but one of my biggest fears is that I may not be able to control myself and end up cheating... :(
Not be able to control yourself? Are you some kind of animal?

I've "cheated" on girlfriends and generally without guilt because I've always told the girlfriends what I was going to do before I did. Not asked their permission, just told them what was up. I am very honest that way.

I would never cheat on my wife.

However, I see the two as completely different.

Never have, never will, never will tolerate it.

And cheating isn't just intent. If you don't intend to kiss each other but you do that's grounds enough. You should have had ENOUGH self control and respect for me NOT TO. Cheating is horrible and I don't care about the, "Well I don't have a ring" argument or the "We were drunk" argument because it's BS.

Luckily I haven't had a girl cheat on me so I'm good thus far.

And I respect that. You'd probably be able to really talk it out if you so wished if you started a thread to do just that. It's just a suggestion.

i did.....and all that happened was ppl poked fun at me

there are so many other better ways to exact revenge without cheating ;)

Never it would badly Violate my Personal law of honour

Not be able to control yourself? Are you some kind of animal?
I've had multiple crushes/things/got the hots fors on a number of females in a (seemingly) short amount of time, including a few girls here at NS, frequently at the same time.

Does Ns count?

According to the definition laid down by the thread starter, no, I've never cheated. I fully INTENDED to leave the strip club by myself, but... well... road to hell... good intentions. Eh.