NationStates Jolt Archive

I swear this doesn't come from the Onion. Yet...
Germans (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/08/18/wpinkl18.xml) are being humiliated in the bathroom. Somehow, standing up while urinating is just too much for the EU. Come on, this is really funny.
From the WSJ opinion page we get more details.

The manufacturer plans to market an English-speaking version in the United Kingdom:

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: "Don't you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who's behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha."

So that's what Europeans mean when they criticize Americans as "cowboys."

The Telegraph notes that "in German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a 'Sitzpinkler,' is equivalent to 'wimp,' " The paper also cites an expert called Klaus Schwerma, author of "Stehpinkeln: Die Letzte Bastion der Männlichkeit?"--an actual book, the title of which translates as "Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity?"

This makes all the more unsettling the New York Times' observation, in that editorial blasting President Bush's military reorganization plan, that an "advantage" of stationing U.S. soldiers in Germany is that it gives them "the experience of living in other cultures." Pulling out of Germany may prove beneficial to America's defensive posture in more ways than one.

This is fecking hilarious, though I'm sure that Americans would stand (or rather, sit down) for it, the pussies. ;)

This is fecking hilarious, though I'm sure that Americans would stand for it, the pussies. ;)
Exactly what do you mean by "stand", pilgrim?

Standing up to pee is one of the best part of being a dude...

I...actually have difficulty urinating while sitting down sometimes. I'm not sure why. Maybe the toilets are just the right height that when I sit on them something gets pinched...

I know, I know. TMI.

Why on god's green earth would I want to sit down to take a pee, unless I was sitting for other purposes? Standing is more convenient, takes less time and dammit is just one of the perks of being a man! And how would we pass the (short) time reading the adverts conveniently placed at eye height? Why should we waste time undoing buttons or zips unneccessarily? And if women get an alarm, we should have one reminding them not to waste money using so much bog roll! I swear they must eat it or something... Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case. ;)

And if I hear those voices in a UK toilet I'll just ignore them. It'll take more than that to stop me from peeing the man's way...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. How many men make a mess standing and peeing? I have had 22 years of experience with the whole urination process, so my aim is pretty damn good at this point. If I ever shacked up with anyone that tried to install one of those things as anything other than a joke, I would have to either leave them or install a urinal in the bathroom.

Cpl Monastyrsky, USMC
4th Forcer Service Support Group
6th Engineer Support Battalion
Headquarters & Service Company

Why on god's green earth would I want to sit down to take a pee, unless I was sitting for other purposes? Standing is more convenient, takes less time and dammit is just one of the perks of being a man! And how would we pass the (short) time reading the adverts conveniently placed at eye height? Why should we waste time undoing buttons or zips unneccessarily? And if women get an alarm, we should have one reminding them not to waste money using so much bog roll! I swear they must eat it or something... Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case. ;)

And if I hear those voices in a UK toilet I'll just ignore them. It'll take more than that to stop me from peeing the man's way...
yea, cus splashing piss all over your clothes is a really great way to show youre a man

yea, cus splashing piss all over your clothes is a really great way to show youre a man

Well you do know you are supposed to wash them from time to time; right? :p

Well you do know you are supposed to wash them from time to time; right? :p
shit

now i know where ive been going wrong!

no wonder people keep looking at me funny

yea, cus splashing piss all over your clothes is a really great way to show youre a man

I don't know about you, but I have never had a problem splashing piss all over my clothes, how bout we take a quick poll of anyone who posts on this site

Who has problems with splashing on themsleves when they pee standing?

so far the results are as follows:

yes:1
no:1

the saga continues

Cpl Monastyrsky, Ilya USMC
4th Force Service Support Group
6th Engineer Support Battalion
Headquarters & Service Company

I don't know about you, but I have never had a problem splashing piss all over my clothes, how bout we take a quick poll of anyone who posts on this site

Who has problems with splashing on themsleves when they pee standing?

so far the results are as follows:

yes:1
no:1

the saga continues

Cpl Monastyrsky, Ilya USMC
4th Force Service Support Group
6th Engineer Support Battalion
Headquarters & Service Company
when you use one of those full wall urinal thingys, piss splashes back sometimes

especially if youre drunk

apparently (according to Keruvalia, and hes a source i would trust) Muslims dont because it splashes

if its good enough for them, its good enough for me

This is fecking hilarious, though I'm sure that Americans would stand (or rather, sit down) for it, the pussies. ;)
hahahaha NO. Go **** yourself, you're just jealous because we're the most powerful and prosperous country in the world, and we could kick your country's butt in a war.

hahahaha NO. Go **** yourself, you're just jealous because we're the most powerful and prosperous country in the world, and we could kick your country's butt in a war.
:rolleyes:

Alchohal or 'shrums would have to be involved for splash back problems. Otherwise you learn to manage that when you're ten.

Just occoured to me:

Shouldn't the thread be titled: "Americans would stand. This is an outrage."?

when you use one of those full wall urinal thingys, piss splashes back sometimes

especially if youre drunk

apparently (according to Keruvalia, and hes a source i would trust) Muslims dont because it splashes

if its good enough for them, its good enough for me
quite. also, where's that article from? i'd swear i saw that about a year ago in a british newspaper.

when you use one of those full wall urinal thingys, piss splashes back sometimes

especially if youre drunk

apparently (according to Keruvalia, and hes a source i would trust) Muslims dont because it splashes

if its good enough for them, its good enough for me


You see when you use a urinal you have to think a little about physics and geometry. You have to account for the angle at which the piss is hitting the back wall of the urinal and with how much force. When you know that you can determine at which angle the stream will deflect upon impact and you simply aim it so that the parts of the stream that splash back your way instead of trickling down the urinal are captuered by the little lip on the front end of said urinal. Its all quite simple really.

You see when you use a urinal you have to think a little about physics and geometry. You have to account for the angle at which the piss is hitting the back wall of the urinal and with how much force. When you know that you can determine at which angle the stream will deflect upon impact and you simply aim it so that the parts of the stream that splash back your way instead of trickling down the urinal are captuered by the little lip on the front end of said urinal. Its all quite simple really.
not so easy when youre off your face

...You know what? That would really piss me off. Having some ghostly voice in the bathroom with me. I'm trying to read dammit! You have any idea how many years it took me to be able to flip a page with one hand while standing up?

Damn thing would make me lose my place or drop the book in the toilet in shock. An outrage I say!

And they say socialists aren't intrusive in people's personal lives. ;)

not so easy when youre off your face

well then the obvious problem is that you are a light weight and need to drink more in order to build up your tolerance.

You see simple problems call for simple solutions. You just have to follow the KISS rule (Keep It Simple Stupid) and what could be more simple than drinking copious quantities of alchohol in order to do physics?

yea, cus splashing piss all over your clothes is a really great way to show youre a man
Gotta mark your territory somehow.

well then the obvious problem is that you are a light weight and need to drink more in order to build up your tolerance.

You see simple problems call for simple solutions. You just have to follow the KISS rule (Keep It Simple Stupid) and what could be more simple than drinking copious quantities of alchohol in order to do physics?
well, it takes me a long time to get to the point where pissing becomes genuinely difficult, but once ive got that far, then physics makes even less sense than usual

although, the problem can be easily avoided by standing and pissing into a toilet bowl rather than a wall covering thingy

Gotta mark your territory somehow.
well, thats true

hadnt thought of it like that

its a bit...odd though

hahahaha NO. Go **** yourself, you're just jealous because we're the most powerful and prosperous country in the world, and we could kick your country's butt in a war.
Haha, guys like this are why I love making incendiary posts.

To answer seriously, yes, I'm sure the US could kick my country's 4 million-population's ass by military. But you're not the most prosperous country in the world. Canada, Australia, Sweden, Denmark, Norway and even Iceland regularly pwn you in the tables.

well, it takes me a long time to get to the point where pissing becomes genuinely difficult, but once ive got that far, then physics makes even less sense than usual

although, the problem can be easily avoided by standing and pissing into a toilet bowl rather than a wall covering thingy

OK, I'll give you that, but the device is for home toilets and goes off if you try to lift the seat, so our conversation on urinal phyics is rather moot. What I ubject to is the installation of those devices in a home toilet that would interfere with my quick piss and instead force me to take the time to sit down. I understand women get pissed when their man forgets to put the seat back down after taking a piss but this is taking it WAY to far. I have had girls get pissed because I actully put the lid down when I flush and don't lift it back up afterwards.

You know, if you want to avoid splashback, just aim for the side of the urinal, so the pee flows with the shape of the thing rather than striking it and going everywhere. If you get splashback from a normal toilet while standing, then that's some fast shooting boyo! :)

OK, I'll give you that, but the device is for home toilets and goes off if you try to lift the seat, so our conversation on urinal phyics is rather moot.
urinal physics...thats the coolest type of physics, they should teach it in schools

What I ubject to is the installation of those devices in a home toilet that would interfere with my quick piss and instead force me to take the time to sit down. I understand women get pissed when their man forgets to put the seat back down after taking a piss but this is taking it WAY to far. I have had girls get pissed because I actully put the lid down when I flush and don't lift it back up afterwards.
i agree it would get just a bit annoying

might be a novelty at first, but after that youd just want to kill it

You know, if you want to avoid splashback, just aim for the side of the urinal, so the pee flows with the shape of the thing rather than striking it and going everywhere. If you get splashback from a normal toilet while standing, then that's some fast shooting boyo! :)
heres an experiment.

go get as drunk as is possible for you

then try and co-ordinate your pissing



why am i having a conversation on pissing while drunk?
ive sunk to a new low...

why am i having a conversation on pissing while drunk?
ive sunk to a new low...

well isn't posting on an internet forum about as low as one can get? Or has our conversation ment that we have struck rock bottom and begun to drill?

well isn't posting on an interent forum about as low as one can get? Or has our conversation ment that we have struck rock bottom and begun to drill?
if we find oil its mine

:)

Hey, you may have started down the path but I think I aided more than a little, So I think it only fair to ask for 30% of the profits

Hey, you may have started down the path but I think I aided more than a little, So I think it only fair to ask for 30% of the profits
deal

im gonna be so rich :cool:

when you use one of those full wall urinal thingys, piss splashes back sometimes

especially if youre drunk

apparently (according to Keruvalia, and hes a source i would trust) Muslims dont because it splashes

if its good enough for them, its good enough for me
I know for a fact that indoor toilets in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait consist of a hole in the floor. You can find "Western" style lavs, but not everywhere.

I know for a fact that indoor toilets in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait consist of a hole in the floor. You can find "Western" style lavs, but not everywhere.
im just going by what Keruvalia said

Asian toilets are pretty much a dent in the ground. It's sort of as if someone planted a bidet. There's no real option but to sit.

And they say socialists aren't intrusive in people's personal lives. ;)
You know this is a private company's product and not the governments', right?