NationStates Jolt Archive

For those who don't know, he's the producer behind such garbage as the films Armageddon, Coyote Ugly, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Pearl Harbor, Kangaroo Jack, and the CSI tv shows. To be fair, he's had a hand in producing a few good projects, like Black Hawk Down, but most of his work is IMHO formulaic crap. It's obvious to me that he must be stopped. Who's with me and how do we do it?

Hey man, CSI kicks ass!

My church assures me that when Bruckheimer dies, Satan will have a small theater prepared with Clockwork Orange eyeclamps and Coyote Ugly already threaded in the projector.

For those who don't know, he's the producer behind such garbage as the films Armageddon, Coyote Ugly, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Pearl Harbor, Kangaroo Jack, and the CSI tv shows. To be fair, he's had a hand in producing a few good projects, like Black Hawk Down, but most of his work is IMHO formulaic crap. It's obvious to me that he must be stopped. Who's with me and how do we do it?

Lets disembowel him. I never seen any of those films, but if I can do some disembowelin', I'm with ya!!!

My church assures me that when Bruckheimer dies, Satan will have a small theater prepared with Clockwork Orange eyeclamps and Coyote Ugly already threaded in the projector.
What religion are you? I'd like to join. Jerry Bruckheimer being forced to view his films for all eternity is evidence of a just God.

You Forgot Polish Orthodox. It's a small denomination, but I've printed up some pamphlets in the hopes of recruiting a second member.

You Forgot Polish Orthodox. It's a small denomination, but I've printed up some pamphlets in the hopes of recruiting a second member.
I bet you can get some members if you offer free beer at service. The catch is, you offer the free beer way before collection, so they're good and drunk later and you end up with twice as much money as you started with.

Black hawk down good??!!?? CSI bad??!!?? Man, what've you been smoking!

Don't like his stuff? Don't watch it. Nothing ends a career like that.

Black hawk down good??!!?? CSI bad??!!?? Man, what've you been smoking!
Newport lights. You?

Don't like his stuff? Don't watch it. Nothing ends a career like that.
I've learned to stay away from anything with his name on it.

Actually quit smoking 2 and a half weks ago :D (oh.. and MIGHT have over-reacted a TAD bit in my prev post.. -s- )

After King Arthur, he should be impaled on a spike. That's if he hadn't earned it already. :D

How about he gets locked in a small box underground with a projector and power hooked up, but with only his own films to watch/sustain himself with for as long as it takes him to die of starvation? :D

The other, more sensible and boring, option is we just don't waste any more of our money on his films.

How about he gets locked in a small box underground with a projector and power hooked up, but with only his own films to watch/sustain himself with for as long as it takes him to die of starvation? :D


We also hook the box up with live feed to every film school in the world and play it to the next generation of film producers with subtitles appearing every five minutes saying "develop quality control!" as a warning.