NationStates Jolt Archive

what enlightening/entertaining/monumentaly stupid/embarassing things have you said?

I'll tell you what, next time I make a boob thread I'll add a cup size for every letter in the alphabet.

Everything I say is all of those.

I quite like the one in my sig at the minute though.

Time for some Jello shots!
Hey, let's see who can get their blood alcohol content the highest!
*deranged grin*
.

I have once said before " I'm shaking like a queer eating a hot dog "

:rolleyes:

"the fever has died down, but the dementia, it seems, is here to stay."

"Someday, I will sit on my throne and laugh at all the peasants. No! leave me alone! DONT TOUCH ME!!"

-Backwoods Squatches.

"I assume alot, that's why i'm so good at it"
i said that about 4 years ago

i have said "life is not a race, it is a journey" a few times, but i probably am not the first person to come up with it

"I came up with this great idea. Wouldn't it be cool if we could figure out how to turn light into electricity?
...
Oh wait. Damn."

"I'm not racist I just happen to make fun of black people."

This was said while driving around with a good friend.
The subject was prescription drugs, particularly anti-depressants.

Friend : Werent you on that stuff for a while?

Me: Yah, but I stopped taking them.

Friend: Oh yeah, why is that?

Me: Eh, those things are people who cant deal with reality, and need a chemical crutch.

<brief pause>

Me: So, you wanna smoke this joint?

Freind: Sure.

"No officer, I didn't steal that roadsign"

This was said while driving around with a good friend.
The subject was prescription drugs, particularly anti-depressants.

Friend : Werent you on that stuff for a while?

Me: Yah, but I stopped taking them.

Friend: Oh yeah, why is that?

Me: Eh, those things are people who cant deal with reality, and need a chemical crutch.

<brief pause>

Me: So, you wanna smoke this joint?

Freind: Sure.
lmao! similar conversations here my friend :p

For the first probably 16 years of my life...I called dustpans...."dust-shovels."

And everyone would laugh, and I never understood. My mom finally told me. Yeah.

"DAMNIT! There's no toilet paper!
-Mt-tau

Oh yeah. When I leave I say " Hello" just to confuse people :D

i fell in love once.... but she got off the bus before i did.
:D

"they're the same,. but they're different!"
Classic me quote, from my 7/8th birthday
I got two presents that were essentially the same: i remember them being these kind of felt 2d animals and shapes and stuff, and vaguely remember playing with them...
anyway they were based on the same idea, except the actual shapes in each pressie were different!

"Fuck you in your motherfucking ass"

I really wrote that in a post...

I've been watching music videos on launch.yahoo.com while chatting with a friend. At one point I said "I think I need to go to sleep. I can't understand this video at all." About three seconds later I realized that it was because the song was in spanish.

A couple from me...

"If monsters really existed, there would be some idiot out there trying to tame them. Therefore, the monsters would learn that humans are a delicacy."

"The most debilitating disease in the world is ignorance."

"I'm never one for looking forward to old age and dementia, but if it means forgetting that I ever knew and saw your putrid, rancid face, then dementia, here I come." - Me to a quite detestable person.

"If you ever see me near those drinks again, you have the right to shoot me like the dog I am." - Me after drinking my friends toxic drink mixes.


"Even when there's a shitheap, you will still find someone trying to be the King fly."

"What do you call a lesbian cat?
What?
Cannibal

Never tell a hemaphrodite to go fuck themselves, they just might try.

Never moon a werewolf
That last one is in my senior yearbook, I'm a folk hero for having the best senior quote ever.

if you found out the meaning of life, would you be so excited that you'd forget it? - The odd one himself.
or would you be so dissapointed you'd top yourself? - my brother.

if you found out the meaning of life, would you be so excited that you'd forget it? - The odd one himself.
or would you be so dissapointed you'd top yourself? - my brother.

In the vein of brotherly conversations...

My brother and I were playing a game of Warhammer. I had just managed to cast a spell that seriously screwed with his favorite troops. I was explaining the diabolical scheming that had lead up to such a maneuver as is befitting a villain (I was playing Chaos), and my brother said something along the lines of "So gay." ... this just happened to be said just before I blurted out "And that is why I did it."

I wouldn't've had a problem with that if I really was gay, but as it was, I got annoyed after he announced what had just been said to yet another friend that stopped by the house.

Everything I say is all of those.

I quite like the one in my sig at the minute though.

me too, everyone i know seems to find everything i say funny and weird, so i could spend years quoting myself

(Extremely Drunkenly) "Hey. Hey. Lewis... Careful you don't have sex with a man! Hahahahaha!" (I then fell down the stairs.)

Calm, calm! Stay there, yes, fine. Fine. Good doggie, good. Calm!
Aargh! (Damn fleabag bit me nonetheless.)

For the first probably 16 years of my life...I called dustpans...."dust-shovels."

And everyone would laugh, and I never understood. My mom finally told me. Yeah.

lol0r too funny *wipes tear*

"*explodes*" -me

My sister is the expert at these.

Watching Saving Private Ryan, me her and one of my mates. As they're assaulting Omaha Beach i decide to test their knowledge of the war

Me: So, what beach are they on there?

Mate: Omaha?

Sister: Ypres?

[couple of seconds incredulous silence]

[me and my mate start laughing]

Sister: Humph! Well it's better than what he said!" That's in America!

[couple of hours more laughter]