NationStates Jolt Archive

If you were attacked by a cougar while hiking on some dirt road far from anyone would you rather have some sturdy knife (military issue) or a basic handgun (barrel-loaded, normal bullets) with you for defense? Assuming that the gunfire won't scare the determined animal off.

Personally, I'd choose a knife because a club isn't as effective as a knife and if you keep missing with the bullets that's all the gun would be useful for, clubbing.

A gun, because then I'd actually have a chance.

Bare hands...maybe teeth. All man, baby. :D

Officially, I'd go with the gun.

A knife, cause All I would need to do would to be gaurd my jugular when it pounced and slash it's. Although Cougars are awesome, and their predetorial habits would not let that happen. They prefer to stalk late at night, and they let out a meow that sounds like a bird, very noticable. If you were hiking in a group during the day, like any sane hiker, than the cougar would not attack you. even a single person during the day has an extreamly low chance of getting attacked by one. So in actuallity it would never happen.

A gun, because I can shoot an M16 at sharshooter, so I have a chance at nailing that thing. A knife you have to get in close, where its claws and teeth put it at an advantage.

a sub machine gun and an m1 abrams when im on cadet misions and a cougar attacks i whip out me daset eagle and use 'dumb round'

a body guard of 50000 soldiers and a tank failing that a gun cause then i might have a chance

Which would do less damage to my new cougar skin?

Wait, can I change my vote?

I'd rather have "Power Word: Kill".

What a ridiculous question any sane human being word take the gun. Even if you manage to slash the cougar's throat out as it leaps at you, its momentum is going to keep it coming at you slashing and biting in a dying fury.

I don't think anyone had a chance with either.

The cougar is too fast, too strong and if you spot him, already too close for any meaningful reaction. :eek:

Although, if you dodged his first lunge you'd proably stand a chance if you manage to shoot him in the head/neck.

any sane human being word take the gun
Hmm, I'd better switch to the knife then.
Oh wait, nevermind, I'm using "Power Word: Kill" now.

Let's change the story a bit. You are walking through the woods, and you and your girlfriend are attacked by a man-eating rhino. You have a spoon and a laser-pointer...

me i killed a cogaur by snapinin it's neck

Hmm, I'd better switch to the knife then.
Oh wait, nevermind, I'm using "Power Word: Kill" now.
I would just feed the cougar a fat kid.

me i killed a cogaur by snapinin it's neck
yeah good luck with that. Having actually worked with cougars, I know you would never have a chance at that.

Which would do less damage to my new cougar skin?

Best. Response. Ever.

Wait, can I change my vote?

I'd rather have "Power Word: Kill".

Second best, and dorkiest, response ever.

If I was attacked by a Cougar, I'd get the heck out of the street.....

i shot it first witha desert eagle handgun hen closed while it was bleedin

Let's change the story a bit. You are walking through the woods, and you and your girlfriend are attacked by a man-eating rhino. You have a spoon and a laser-pointer...
First, I blind it with the laser pointer, then while it's confused, I scoop out its eyes with the spoon.

Then I cast "Pillar of Fire", and with my Robe of Ancient Magi +4, it's a pretty sure bet.

1# A gun. (If I had to pick only one.)
"Shoot first, ask questions later."

2# My Satanic Blood Sword.
"Never bring a knife to a gun fight."

Why not have both? I always carry a sword and a gun around.

Posted by the Satanic Priest, Lord Medivh

First, I blind it with the laser pointer, then while it's confused, I scoop out its eyes with the spoon.

Then I cast "Pillar of Fire", and with my Robe of Ancient Magi +4, it's a pretty sure bet.

Yes, but its eyes are on opposite sides of its head...so you could only blind one at a time. Besides, it has plus 235% resistance to anything you can think of and a special berserking attack that grants it +53 damage against hikers.

I would just feed the cougar a fat kid.

Gotta be careful, I heard some cougars will down a fat kid in less than 30 seconds and still be hungry enough to hunt you down.

Better off carrying 2 fat kids.

Yes, but its eyes are on opposite sides of its head...so you could only blind one at a time. Besides, it has plus 235% resistance to anything you can think of and a special berserking attack that grants it +53 damage against hikers.
What if I'm only undercover as a hiker, and I'm really a member of a secret CIA cougar-eliminating force?

This is the cougar-> :) :gundge: <-This is me with my newly discovered superpower of shooting poison green stuff
(okay, so it doesn't
look anything like a
cougar. Whatever.)

Knife. I don't use guns, period.

I'd beat it into submission with my eyelids and strangle it with my vague disdain. Then i'd skin it with a right hook to the jaw and a bullet to the groin. :mp5:

Let's change the story a bit. You are walking through the woods, and you and your girlfriend are attacked by a man-eating rhino. You have a spoon and a laser-pointer...

Firstly i'd inflame the Rhino's pancreas with the spoon and coincidently cause a liver failure. Then i'd use the laser pointer to skin it and feed it to my socks.
:D

A pistol, because anybody who thinks they can handle it with a knife has an inflated ego.

Knife. I don't use guns, period.

Killed by your own ideaology. It's almost...funny

Knife. I don't use guns, period.


Okay, MacGyver, you'd probably wind up cougar food though. :(

Okay, MacGyver, you'd probably wind up cougar food though. :(

Well if you're MacGuyver, you can use a twig, a chewed-up piece of gum and a paperclip to kill the cougar.

But what are the chances of being MacGuyver...

Which would do less damage to my new cougar skin?
that is VERY well played

Actually there was a big kitty that hung around in the bamboo when I lived in the Hollywood Hills, I was 12 then. My sister and I noticed the big kitty hanging out there and we told our mom. She walked with us to school next time and when she saw the big kitty she made a LOT of racket and threw stones at the big kitty, who decided to run away.
Big kitties tend not to like racket, and a good primate threat display is a good way to get them out of the area.
I understand big kitties tend to be more agressive now but even with a tiger, standing up straight and looking them in the eye is fairly effective, other than that, I'd want something more than a hand gun or a knife. a nice Mauser sounds more the ticket..

Or possibly befriend it long enough to have it trust you, then, when you are watching a movie or something, knife it in the back. Pure human genius. :D

Meh.

Noise and posturing works.

Also works with bears.

You just have to convince the creature that you're bigger than it is.

Also works with obnoxious horses.

I have, generally, no reason to kill such a creature.

Now, if I -had- to kill it...

The gun, obviously. Grew up shooting things. I could plant one in the poor thing's chest fairly easily, especially if it was close.

Personally, I'd rather fight a wolf. One of those I could survive bare-handed if I wasn't surprised.

Still rather not fight any of them.

I like my skin.

Or possibly befriend it long enough to have it trust you, then, when you are watching a movie or something, knife it in the back. Pure human genius. :D
Not a bad idea. I'd ask the cougar to go out for a drink. Then I'd slip something in his drink and steal his Kidneys.

Personally, I'd rather fight a wolf. One of those I could survive bare-handed if I wasn't surprised.


Well it's generally not the one wolf you've got to worry about though, right? The rest of the pack might prove to be something of a problem.

Not a bad idea. I'd ask the cougar to go out for a drink. Then I'd slip something in his drink and steal his Kidneys.

The start of your idea is good but then it slips off... see I'd take the cougar out for some drinks and use it to pick up chicks.

Get some nice babe to sit down next to you and try the old "Uhhh... my cougar is getting kinda restless, would you mind helping out by revealing your boobies to him as for some reason it calms him down. You wouldn't want him to get angry and hurt people right? It's for the greater good".

Well it's generally not the one wolf you've got to worry about though, right? The rest of the pack might prove to be something of a problem.

I'd give the rest a couple of eckies to chilax and sell their kidneys to Soviet Narco State...

How does one properly prepare cougar meat? Stew? Burgers? Sausage? Steaks? Jerkey?.......mmmm cougar jerkey......eatin cougar jerkey, wearin my cougar skin while lounging in the cougar's cave...ah ya...the trifecta of triumph over cougar-kind.

Um...if I may amnend "knife" to include my trusty throwing knives, then I pick knife.

Otherwise gun...I'm dumb, but not that dumb :D :eek:

Knife

What a ridiculous question any sane human being word take the gun. Even if you manage to slash the cougar's throat out as it leaps at you, its momentum is going to keep it coming at you slashing and biting in a dying fury.
i would take the knife.
1. because i like violence and shit.
2. because i would want to be able to see if i could say.."FUCK! I KILLED A COUGAR!!!!" that is such an awesome bragging story. and you would have the things face to prove it. i would feed its innards to my dogue.

Let's change the story a bit. You are walking through the woods, and you and your girlfriend are attacked by a man-eating rhino. You have a spoon and a laser-pointer...

The laser pointer obviously. I would use it to blind my girlfriend so I could get away while the man eating rhino is busy with her.

Yes, but its eyes are on opposite sides of its head...so you could only blind one at a time. Besides, it has plus 235% resistance to anything you can think of and a special berserking attack that grants it +53 damage against hikers.

This is why I opted to blind my girlfriend instead of the rhino

Knife.
Because i could build a spear with a cross-guard, like a boar-spear. That way i stay out of reach and have defense as well as offense.

Don't sweat it. Me and the cougar have a safe-word worked out.

Cougars can make a standing/crouching jump of something like 15 or 20 feet. The likelyhood is that they would be on you before you even knew they were there. In such a case, I would greatly prefer the knife over the gun. All I have to do with the knife is hurt it bad enough that it starts thinking I am not worth it. That is fairly easy to do with a knife, trying to do so with a gun is risky, what with blowback, ricochet, and all that stuff, I am likely to injure myself in doing so.

Kerambit's rock.

A pistol. I may be able to kill it before it attacks, and if I can't, a round fired into it's head or chest at contact range should kill it quite nicely.

A knife, cause All I would need to do would to be gaurd my jugular when it pounced and slash it's. Although Cougars are awesome, and their predetorial habits would not let that happen. They prefer to stalk late at night, and they let out a meow that sounds like a bird, very noticable. If you were hiking in a group during the day, like any sane hiker, than the cougar would not attack you. even a single person during the day has an extreamly low chance of getting attacked by one. So in actuallity it would never happen.
im sure that thought is very comforting to the familes of those 2 bicyclists in california killed by mountain lions last year. (there were probably more but those made national news)

this is actually something i worry about as my mother in law has seen a mountain lion on the road into our "neighborhood". we are right next to the rio grande so its a draw to anything that needs to drink to survive. getting out of the car late at night to unlock the gate gives me the creeps as i worry about the possibility of that lion jumping on my back.

id go for a knife, i dont think i could hit a mountain lion with a bullet.

Wait, can I change my vote?

I'd rather have "Power Word: Kill".
Hah! "Power Word: Kill" is for weaklings.

Real Men (Or Women, in your case) use Mordenkainen's Sword, Enlarge Person, and shred the cougar with attacks of opportunity.

A good stout quarterstaff.

(Assuming I don't have a displacer coak. In this case the gun will do quite nicely)

A big bag of cougar food.


Hah! "Power Word: Kill" is for weaklings.

Real Men (Or Women, in your case) use Mordenkainen's Sword, Enlarge Person, and shred the cougar with attacks of opportunity.

Dude, why use a sledgehammer to crack a nut? Charm Animal or even Sleep would do the job. How many hit dice is a cougar anyhow?

Hands up all those that remember the glory days of 1st and 2nd edition when a domestic housecat would kill an average human being in one round about 50% of the time?

Dude, why use a sledgehammer to crack a nut? Charm Animal or even Sleep would do the job. How many hit dice is a cougar anyhow?
I think it's 3 now, back it 2e it was 3+1, IIRC. Besides, 5d4 damage won't take it out in one shot.

Hands up all those that remember the glory days of 1st and 2nd edition when a domestic housecat would kill an average human being in one round about 50% of the time?
*Sticks hand up*

You'll be glad to know that they can still manage this. In fact, more than 50% of the time, with their high attack modifier.

I think it's 3 now, back it 2e it was 3+1, IIRC. Besides, 5d4 damage won't take it out in one shot.

3 hit dice = 13.5 average hits

5d4 = 12.5 average damage

Enough to force a moral check though?


*Sticks hand up*

You'll be glad to know that they can still manage this. In fact, more than 50% of the time, with their high attack modifier.

To which I can only respond: kewl.

Well you see considering the only time i'd be anywhere near a Cougar is when i was hunting and up in a tree... I figure i'd probally kill the thing before it managed to climb up to me anyways. I only hear about coyote problems around where i live never cougars so i figure i'm safe enough since my dog's would just maul it anyway. (vicious german shepards they are)

A knife, cause All I would need to do would to be gaurd my jugular when it pounced and slash it's. Although Cougars are awesome, and their predetorial habits would not let that happen. They prefer to stalk late at night, and they let out a meow that sounds like a bird, very noticable. If you were hiking in a group during the day, like any sane hiker, than the cougar would not attack you. even a single person during the day has an extreamly low chance of getting attacked by one. So in actuallity it would never happen.
bow uve gone and killed it... :(

I see the cougar coming at me from 20 feet away.

I do these thing in succession:

1)get down on all fours, face down but eyes up

2)remain still

3)meow

4)roll over and point the pistol down the chute

I'm hoping that behaviors 1-3 will slow the animal and make it curious or maybe he will lose interest. at any rate, IF i have at least slowed the cougar to a trot, I will have a better chance of getting a bullet in him than I would if he were coming full-bore for me.

OR best-case scenario, he'd just come up next to me and sit down and i could scratch him behind the ears. we'd become friends and live happily ever after in the woods away from the vindictiveness and destruction of mankind.

lol

really i have no idea what i'd do. i'd probably shoot OR just run. it would depend on my ability to think whilst urinating in my drawers.