NationStates Jolt Archive


Bush Determined to Find . . . Ark of Covenant

Superpower07
23-02-2005, 03:03
The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4108&nib=1)
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise press conference Monday, President Bush said he will not rest until the warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant, the vessel holding the original Ten Commandments, is located. "Nazis stole the Ark in 1936, but it was recovered by a single patriot, who braved gunfire, rolling boulders, and venomous snakes," Bush said, addressing the White House press corps. "Sadly, due to bureaucratic rigmarole, this powerful, historic relic was misplaced in a warehouse. Mark my words: We will find that warehouse." Bush added that, after they are strengthened by the power of the Ark, U.S. forces will seek out and destroy the sinister Temple of Doom.
Roach-Busters
23-02-2005, 03:05
The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4108&nib=1)

Lol
Whittier-
23-02-2005, 03:06
rolls over laughing. Some been watching too many Indiana Jones movies I see.
Potaria
23-02-2005, 03:12
This justgoes to show that Mr. Bush is a whole lot dumber than I thought he was, and I originally thought he had the intellect of a crayon.
Sdaeriji
23-02-2005, 03:26
This justgoes to show that Mr. Bush is a whole lot dumber than I thought he was, and I originally thought he had the intellect of a crayon.

Somehow the word "irony" isn't quite enough for this....
Nadkor
23-02-2005, 03:27
This justgoes to show that Mr. Bush is a whole lot dumber than I thought he was, and I originally thought he had the intellect of a crayon.
oh dear
The Lightning Star
23-02-2005, 03:28
Although I am a Bush supporter...

LOL!

I mean, I can support a guys ideas, but you can still laugh at him when it's funny :).
Monkeypimp
23-02-2005, 03:32
Does anybody else have the 'our dumb century' book?
Neo-Anarchists
23-02-2005, 03:33
Somehow the word "irony" isn't quite enough for this....
I quite literally fell over laughing.
Letila
23-02-2005, 03:37
Now that's a good article. I'm tired of Fox news. :D
Patra Caesar
23-02-2005, 03:39
Heh heh heh, amusing!:D
Anikian
23-02-2005, 03:45
I'm just scared that someone won't see it is from the Onion and take it seriously...
Andaluciae
23-02-2005, 03:46
Much approval :D
Neo-Anarchists
23-02-2005, 03:48
I'm just scared that someone won't see it is from the Onion and take it seriously...
That's already happened.
:(
I_Hate_Cows
23-02-2005, 03:51
caught in the act, so sad

Bumblers of the lost ark (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/Reaper2k3/Bumblersofhtelostark.jpg)
Anarchic Conceptions
23-02-2005, 03:52
This justgoes to show that Mr. Bush is a whole lot dumber than I thought he was, and I originally thought he had the intellect of a crayon.

There is still time to salvage some dignity.

Quick! Say you were taking the piss!
Yevon Reincarnate
23-02-2005, 03:53
caught in the act, so sad

Bumblers of the lost ark (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/Reaper2k3/Bumblersofhtelostark.jpg)
http://67.18.37.16/1381/85/emo/laugh.gif
Potaria
23-02-2005, 03:54
So I have been fooled. Well, I'll defend myself.

I didn't know what "The Onion" was. I've never heard of it, so I'm pleading ignorance. No, I wasn't taking the piss... I'm being honest, here.

*proceeds to curl into a fetal position, awaiting a dozen ass kickings*
HadesRulesMuch
23-02-2005, 03:58
So I have been fooled. Well, I'll defend myself.

I didn't know what "The Onion" was. I've never heard of it, so I'm pleading ignorance. No, I wasn't taking the piss... I'm being honest, here.

*proceeds to curl into a fetal position, awaiting a dozen ass kickings*
All I can say is "MORON! TRY READING THE ARTICLE NEXT TIME!"

By the way, if think Bush is THAt dumb, then you obviously didn't know that no President has ever been a complete moron. Self-serving, manipulative, conniving, yes. But stupid, I think not. Their parents actually genetically breed them to be smart pricks. "The Onion" wrote an article on that too...
Potaria
23-02-2005, 04:00
You actually think that Bush is intelligent? He didn't even score 100 on his IQ test. I'm not saying he's a total moron --- I'm just saying he's a moron.

And yes, I suppose I should have read the whole article.
I_Hate_Cows
23-02-2005, 04:01
All I can say is "MORON! TRY READING THE ARTICLE NEXT TIME!"

By the way, if think Bush is THAt dumb, then you obviously didn't know that no President has ever been a complete moron. Self-serving, manipulative, conniving, yes. But stupid, I think not. Their parents actually genetically breed them to be smart pricks. "The Onion" wrote an article on that too...
What lies, don't you see that picture of them actually removing teh Ark of the Covenant? They are keeping at an undisclosed location
Dementedus_Yammus
23-02-2005, 04:05
i love the onion.

it's like the daily show in print
Marrakech II
23-02-2005, 04:06
Nice one! started reading that for a sec thinking it was a real story! LOL
Potaria
23-02-2005, 04:06
At least you read the whole thing... I read part of it, and look at what happened to me!

*Kicks own ass*
HadesRulesMuch
23-02-2005, 04:10
You actually think that Bush is intelligent? He didn't even score 100 on his IQ test. I'm not saying he's a total moron --- I'm just saying he's a moron.

And yes, I suppose I should have read the whole article.
LOL! You fool! He has, at the least, made himself and his friends rich by using his powerful position!

Sure, he may be helping improve the quality of life of people in Iraq, but the point is, HE IS RICH! By the way, you ARE NOT! Therefore, if a dumbass is better off financially than you, then what does that say about you? I just choose to believe that he has specifically done things to improve his own financial standing. In that case, he's pretty damn smart.
I_Hate_Cows
23-02-2005, 04:18
LOL! You fool! He has, at the least, made himself and his friends rich by using his powerful position!

Sure, he may be helping improve the quality of life of people in Iraq, but the point is, HE IS RICH! By the way, you ARE NOT! Therefore, if a dumbass is better off financially than you, then what does that say about you?
...that his parents are rich bastards and got him where he is today on power and influence alone?
Adrian Barbeau-Bot
23-02-2005, 04:29
This justgoes to show that Mr. Bush is a whole lot dumber than I thought he was, and I originally thought he had the intellect of a crayon.

hm.

here, have a cookie.

and just to let you know, im joking.. an honest mistake is understandable. that and i would expect you to do the same thing if i said something like that.

and popadoplis is me, sorry. i cant seem to figure out how to log out properly.
Gadolinia
23-02-2005, 04:29
You actually think that Bush is intelligent? He didn't even score 100 on his IQ test. I'm not saying he's a total moron --- I'm just saying he's a moron.

And yes, I suppose I should have read the whole article.


hmm...i thought i remember reading that his national guard IQ test pegged him at 115-120, and put his intelligence in the 98th percentile. i also remember kerry refused to make his SAT socres public record after bush did because he scored lower...and i think kerry's military tests pegged him around 110.

of course this only proves that more than a high IQ is needed to string a coherent sentance together.
La Terra di Liberta
23-02-2005, 04:31
Those damn Nazis, always trying to ruin everything........ I just grinned when I looked at it :D.
BastardSword
23-02-2005, 04:39
i love the onion.

it's like the daily show in print

Hey, now don't compare the greatness that is the Daily Show with the Onion.

Its like comparing George Washington to George Bush Jr. Much difference and struggles.
Green Sun
23-02-2005, 04:44
Ah, more and more bullshit. That IS funny, though.
Dementedus_Yammus
23-02-2005, 04:45
Hey, now don't compare the greatness that is the Daily Show with the Onion.

Its like comparing George Washington to George Bush Jr. Much difference and struggles.


fake news that's hilarious.

daily show is on TV

onion is in print.

what's the big difference?
I_Hate_Cows
23-02-2005, 04:53
fake news that's hilarious.

daily show is on TV

onion is in print.

what's the big difference?
Because the truth is so much funnier than fiction
Teh Cameron Clan
23-02-2005, 23:18
lolz0r