NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been told that no matter what a guy looks like if they can be confident in themselves then it is found attractive by most girls. My question is though, on what level? And how much? I would imagine too much confidence is braging and unattractive. My question being, how does confidence affect how you percieve a guy?

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tag, I've heard this as well.

I don't think it is confidence per se. But when I'm confident with myself, I am generally wittier, better spoken, and carry myself better.

But I am 95% sure that with most women looks is the kicker.

as an unconfident guy, i can say that it affects the way women pecieve you a lot. negatively.
:(

Confidence is good. it means that you don't have to travel in a pack of boys (which is sketchy), and you are brave enought to talk to a girl.

Over-confidence is bad, and annoying. Note that bragging tends to come off as a lack of confidence.

And shy guys can be very attractive, so long as it is at some point possible to get them out of their shell and interact with humanity, say within a month.

Different girls like different things. Different guys suit different things. Different relationships call for different things.

Some girls like over confident guys, some girls like averagly confident guys, some girls like insecure guys.

Some guys suit the over confidence and can pull it off. Some guys suit the slightly insecure personality and it can bring out a side that girls find attractive-a sweeter, natural, honest side.

A short fling type relationship might mean looking for someone confident while a long term relationship might mean looking for someone more natural and open and slightly insecure or averagely confident. Or maybe someone might seek out an insecure person because they're 'easier'.

It really depends on the guy, the girl and the situation. Just like any other thing about what guys/girls like. Think I must have said this type of a thing a million times *sigh* People like different things, no two girls go for exactly the same person when it comes down to it. For every guy, there will be a girl who finds that mix of things attractive. Same for the other way around and for guys and guys/girls and girls.

Personally I like a jokey confidence with a slight insecurity in some area.

Yes, confident matters but if you're as ugly as, say, Wayne Rooney, it matters jack because if you don't have a personality to make up for it, you're screwed. I personally go for the quite retiring (good looking) kind

For me, I wouldn't say confidence is the deciding factor, but it is definately a plus. I have a bad self-image so that makes it all the better. If a guy is confident enough to come up and talk to me, I'm impressed by that. Looks help, of course, but I'm not gonna dismiss someone based on that.

Confidence is important, but a lot of people confuse confidence and cockiness. If a guy is constantly bragging about themselves, and being cocky, then that is a major turnoff. If a girl want to know about your success stories, she'll ask. But ask about hers, show you care. She hopefully will also take interest in yours...

For me, I wouldn't say confidence is the deciding factor, but it is definately a plus. I have a bad self-image so that makes it all the better. If a guy is confident enough to come up and talk to me, I'm impressed by that. Looks help, of course, but I'm not gonna dismiss someone based on that.

You have a bad self-image? I find your image very attractive, personally. :D

You have a bad self-image? I find your image very attractive, personally. :D
Aww...thanks! :fluffle:

Aww...thanks! :fluffle:

You're quite welcome. I've also generally noticed that you are polite and sweet. I don't really get why you have a bad self-image when you're pretty and nice. Of course, I've never understood that with a lot of women. :(

Relationships are so fucked up…yet that is coming from someone who is anti-social doest give a shit about people on way or another…hey I’m not a total loner I have one friend, and I can truthfully say at the present age of 17 I’ve never ever had a girlfriend, yea that’s right I’ve never kissed, fondled, made out, groped, or caressed a being of the opposite sex, I’m not gay, I used to try my damndest to get a girl, but then I just stopped caring, I figure if a girl wants to talk to me they can do it themselves, I know its biased for me to be bashing relationships because I’ve never been in one but from evidence that I have seen I would rather die alone then suffer heartbreak…in the word of Bill Shakespeare “its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.” I say you’re a pathetic puss who cant get over that bitch who left you, I would rather never know love, then deal with the mind throbbing pain of losing someone… I know I’m a jerk what can I say… at least I’m loyal to my country.

Most women care about looks (and looks only).

You're quite welcome. I've also generally noticed that you are polite and sweet. I don't really get why you have a bad self-image when you're pretty and nice. Of course, I've never understood that with a lot of women. :(
Has more to do with past experiences I think.

Most women care about looks (and looks only).

It depends on how old they are. The older they get the more class and social status begins to matter. In fact, social status may be the most important issue at any time.

Relationships are so fucked up…yet that is coming from someone who is anti-social doest give a shit about people on way or another…hey I’m not a total loner I have one friend, and I can truthfully say at the present age of 17 I’ve never ever had a girlfriend, yea that’s right I’ve never kissed, fondled, made out, groped, or caressed a being of the opposite sex, I’m not gay, I used to try my damndest to get a girl, but then I just stopped caring...
wow, same here exept i'm 19 so its even more pathetic :p
i haven't given up caring, just i've always been the 'friend' of girls - never the boyfriend. apparently i'm 'nice', 'sweet' and all those other things, and no fewer than 2 girl-friends of mine have said that i'd 'make a great boyfriend' or that 'my girlfriend would be lucky', but that doesn't bloody help does it? if they think i'd be a nice b/f, why can't we go out for gods sake?
i suppose its cos i never asked, but because i've never had a relationship with a woman, i've become too shy to ask - just don't know how.

well it doesn't matter anyway cos i'm the luckiest SOB around... Tink as a e-wife :)

It depends on how old they are. The older they get the more class and social status begins to matter. In fact, social status may be the most important issue at any time.

Probably 999 out of 1,000 girls care only (or, at least, mostly) about looks.

Social Status and Class?
I would have thought that social status would mean more as ateen then as an adult and class, well, all are classy in their own right.

I've been told that no matter what a guy looks like if they can be confident in themselves then it is found attractive by most girls. My question is though, on what level? And how much? I would imagine too much confidence is braging and unattractive. My question being, how does confidence affect how you percieve a guy?
Question for girls: How appeling is confidence to you?
Confidence is appealing in a guy. It's right up there on the list, just below spelling.

I have met people who are very appealing on the Internet, where the only thing one "sees" of the person is what they type in text. I think that is more than sufficient indicator that attitude can win out over any physical appearance. Confidence is an attitude and like mood it comes and goes dependent upon circumstances.

Braging and self-esteem can be good, as long as it has confidence behind it. I have seen braging that has nothing to do with confidence, and everything to do with putting oneself down. It's a horrid thing. Bravado too is a pretense. Honest self-esteem is a very attractive thing.

Probably 999 out of 1,000 girls care only (or, at least, mostly) about looks.

That just shows a complete lack of understanding of women.

It depends on how old they are. The older they get the more class and social status begins to matter. In fact, social status may be the most important issue at any time.
As an old woman, I'd like to dispute this. ;-)

Class? what's that? Something children attend.

Looks?
Maybe for teens--even then, guys and girls might check out the hottest-looking people, but in reality people really do look a little deeper than that, no matter what age or sex.
Of course it depends--if you want a quick fling, looks are most important, I suppose--
But if someone is looking for any kind of an actual relationship, they are going to look for some substance, 'cause I don't care how good-looking you are, if you are rude, obnoxious, stupid, or whatever, there won't be much of a relationship there!

Oh, to answer the original question, confidence is good. If you feel good about yourself and like yourself, you will radiate that to other people. That is the truth (unless you're hanging out with some real jerks, of course). And that goes for males and females.

wow, same here exept i'm 19 so its even more pathetic :p
i haven't given up caring, just i've always been the 'friend' of girls - never the boyfriend. apparently i'm 'nice', 'sweet' and all those other things, and no fewer than 2 girl-friends of mine have said that i'd 'make a great boyfriend' or that 'my girlfriend would be lucky', but that doesn't bloody help does it? if they think i'd be a nice b/f, why can't we go out for gods sake?
i suppose its cos i never asked, but because i've never had a relationship with a woman, i've become too shy to ask - just don't know how.

well it doesn't matter anyway cos i'm the luckiest SOB around... Tink as a e-wife :)

God you sound like the male version of me...minus the Tink part.
But then I've turned people down...I'm not fussy, I just don't think dating guys two years younger or more is quite right.

The confidence thing...at least have enough confidence to talk/ask out. That would get things off the ground.

I think self-confidence is important, but not the most important thing. I value intelligence and kindess above it. I don't like cockiness, i don't like it when anyone assumes they are the smartest, greatest, funniest, etc. person in the room, that's annoying. I do however like it when a person is comfortable in their own skin, when you can see that they like themselves the way they are, when they don't try to be someone else. I don't want to sound insensitive because i know that low self-esteem can be a serious problem for some people, but it's really not attractive, at least not to me. I don't want to spend an entire relationship, or conversation, constantly having to reassure someone that i like them, that they are smart, funny, and nice. It gets boring and it gets old. If i like you, it means you are a good person, i wouldn't like you if you weren't. Not to mention the fact, that if a person constantly puts themselves down, then eventually others will believe what they say, and they definitely won't want to date them then.

I've been told that no matter what a guy looks like if they can be confident in themselves then it is found attractive by most girls. My question is though, on what level? And how much? I would imagine too much confidence is braging and unattractive. My question being, how does confidence affect how you percieve a guy?
Basically, it's good if a guy is confident enough that he's not insecure...
And not so confident that he feels he can do no wrong.

A complete and total lack of confidence is terribly unattractive but too much confidence is just irritating.

Probably 999 out of 1,000 girls care only (or, at least, mostly) about looks.
Aww, someone can't get laid and he thinks it's because he's ugly on the outside...

I've got news for you, with generalizations like this, you appear ugly on the inside.

Aww, someone can't get laid and he thinks it's because he's ugly on the outside...

I've got news for you, with generalizations like this, you appear ugly on the inside.
So I guess smokers aren't sexy after all.

Glad we cleared that up!

It depends on how old they are. The older they get the more class and social status begins to matter. In fact, social status may be the most important issue at any time.
no way. no no no way. simply not true, brad. at least for me. its about , if a guy works hard, and has a good ethic. not how swanky his job is, or how much he has attained. it s about being humble no matter what. and i agree. overcofidence is a bad thing. and since i am generally attracted to the more quiet types- none of them have a TOn of confidence.

I like confident men. I like them right on the verge of almost being too cocky, but are still down to earth when it comes down to it.

Like the guy I have been hanging with the last few weeks...SUPER cocky. Quite full of himself actually. He is awesome and he knows it. BUT, he still knows he is not perfect. I was hitting on all the waitresses at Hooters for him last night (we spent 8 hours there...you can't even imagine our bar tab....), and he was so embarrassed. It was cute. :D