NationStates Jolt Archive

Those of you who are married. Don't you feel that marriage is a lot like communism look good in theory but for some people it does'nt really work?

My marriage is really good, however I'm not about to stick my head in the sand and pretend it is as wonderful for everyone else as it has been for me.

I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and at the wrong time in their life.

Some of the wrong reasons I've come across include:

1. Pregnancy.
2. Because the relationship wasn't going well and "getting married" would fix things.
3. Because friends or family told them it was "about time" they got married.
4. Because one partner was cheating and getting married would stop them (a variant of number 2 I guess).

I can't speak for every one, but I in my eyes have the perfect marriage. Based on mutual respect, being equal in every thing we do or think, love, friendship, passion and a belief in the same things that are important to us. (the sex is pretty good too)..lol

Marriage may not be for every one, but it certainly is for me and I would fathom a guess my husband would say the same thing.

There isn't a woman alive who wouldn't benefit from being married as opposed to not being married. Even the reprobate can benefit from being married.

What can a man ever become if he never has a wife and kids? What can a woman ever become if she never has a husband and kids?

"Be fruitful and multiply" it's not just polite advice, it's the WILL of GOD, and who shall disobey it, is disobeying God.


Remember
Matthew 19:3-6

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven't you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”



Mark 10:10-12

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.

He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”


Luke 16:18

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Marriage is like any committment or partnership you enter into. There is trust and cooperation required. What makes marriage more complicated than simpler filial or business relationships is that love, romantic love in particular, is thrown into the mix. Marriage has to deal with all of the emotions associated with love and romance, yet at the same time has to have all of the practical elements of a partnership. It's difficult. It's worthwhile if you make it work.

I've been married for almost eleven years now, and my husband and I are separated by a continent as well as an emotional divide. I dunno if our marriage is going to last or not, but I thought before I went to China it would. A LOT of mistakes have happened since then, but we are at least trying to work things out, difficult as it is. Even now, with all of the emotional struggle and loss we are experiencing...marriage is worth it. Through pain I've grown, largely as a result of the trouble I've had being a partner to a fellow, fallible human being. The good and the bad makes you grow, so if you take it in totality, then through that understand marriage's power. It DOES change you, in many ways, and with many results.

I saw one of the posts that really disturbed me. It was about how perfect her marriage was. Anyone who says that about their marriage I seriously question. Marriage is NEVER perfect, though it can be quite good. If your marriage is "perfect" per her definition, then you've done something wrong. Most women in particular who say things like that have husbands who run around with someone else and they're too naive to think it, or who have deluded themselves about not only the state of their marriage, but the purpose of marriage itself. Two people do not become ONE in a marriage: they become partners, individuals with their goals and desires, including the desire to make their personal dreams and their hopes for marriage work together. When it works favorably, there is nothing better in the world relationship-wise, I think.

When it doesn't work, and usually, it doesn't...well, marriage may not seem so positive. For me, in all honesty, it is positive no matter what. Marriage is one of the most difficult institutions humankind has thought of, but it's also one of the most rewarding.

Ge-Ren :cool:

Marriage is just a ceremony...
I know a couple that has lived together happily for about 20 years and aren't married. They did get married on paper recently though, it was for financial and tax reasons.

There isn't a woman alive who wouldn't benefit from being married as opposed to not being married. Even the reprobate can benefit from being married.

So I guess that means you're married, right? I figured that's what you were referring to with the "reprobate" business.

What can a man ever become if he never has a wife and kids?

Gay, rich, or the Pope? All of those sound pretty okay to me.

What can a woman ever become if she never has a husband and kids?

Anything she damn well pleases. I can think of a list of women who did just fine without either.

"Be fruitful and multiply" it's not just polite advice, it's the WILL of GOD, and who shall disobey it, is disobeying God.

Yet the Chinese have a one-child policy and India is swelling at the seams. The Will of God's pretty tough on some folks, huh? But I'm sure you've got a pat answer for that too.

Silly uncritical Christians. Bible-thumping and not a lick of analysis between their ears.

Glad I was made into a Catholic Who Thinks.

Ge-Ren

There isn't a woman alive who wouldn't benefit from being married as opposed to not being married. Even the reprobate can benefit from being married.

What can a man ever become if he never has a wife and kids? What can a woman ever become if she never has a husband and kids?

"Be fruitful and multiply" it's not just polite advice, it's the WILL of GOD, and who shall disobey it, is disobeying God.


Remember
Matthew 19:3-6

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven't you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”



Mark 10:10-12

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.

He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”


Luke 16:18

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

I forgot this one:

5. Getting married because their religion tells them they must, rather than out of mutual respect and desire to be together.

snip

The bible is not a good frame of reference, in fact the bible is usually the bane of existence to most unhappily married people.

Thankfully I'm an atheist, so I KNOW I have a happy marriage.

So I guess that means you're married, right? I figured that's what you were referring to with the "reprobate" business.



Gay, rich, or the Pope? All of those sound pretty okay to me.



Anything she damn well pleases. I can think of a list of women who did just fine without either.



Yet the Chinese have a one-child policy and India is swelling at the seams. The Will of God's pretty tough on some folks, huh? But I'm sure you've got a pat answer for that too.

Silly uncritical Christians. Bible-thumping and not a lick of analysis between their ears.

Glad I was made into a Catholic Who Thinks.

Ge-Ren




I'm not married yet, I'm a Calvinist and we wait until we find an Elect woman, to marry. We don't just marry the first non-Calvinist false Christian who comes along. (Although if she was a good woman, I could consider it, since I believe that most Elect don't realize it, and they will probably spend years in a false religion before they realize the way is Calvinism)

(I myself spent nearly nineteen unhappy and depressing years in a Catholic Church which did nothing for me but leave me feeling empty and away from God, before I saw the light of Calvinism and was drawn by God to accept the 5 points)


China and India are pagan nations, they ought not to have many kids anyway.

As for women and men who "Do just fine"

Matthew 16:26

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

I'm not married yet, I'm a Calvinist and we wait until we find an Elect woman, to marry. We don't just marry the first non-Calvinist false Christian who comes along. (Although if she was a good woman, I could consider it, since I believe that most Elect don't realize it, and they will probably spend years in a false religion before they realize the way is Calvinism)

(I myself spent nearly nineteen unhappy and depressing years in a Catholic Church which did nothing for me but leave me feeling empty and away from God, before I saw the light of Calvinism and was drawn by God to accept the 5 points)


China and India are pagan nations, they ought not to have many kids anyway.

As for women and men who "Do just fine"

Matthew 16:26

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

Can China and India start having unprotected sex again if they convert to calvinism?

Can China and India start having unprotected sex again if they convert to calvinism?


No, they're not meant to convert, they're Reprobate, nobody converts to Calvinism, God pulls you into it. You have no say in it, you're either destined to be in it, or you're blinded to the truth and can't even find your way into it if you tried.

(Romans 11:7)

What then? What Israel sought so earnestly it did not obtain, but the elect did. The others were blinded.

No, they're not meant to convert, they're Reprobate, nobody converts to Calvinism, God pulls you into it. You have no say in it, you're either destined to be in it, or you're blinded to the truth and can't even find your way into it if you tried.

(Romans 11:7)

What then? What Israel sought so earnestly it did not obtain, but the elect did. The others were blinded.

From what you tell me, calvinism sounds like the symptoms of a mental disease. People going around thinking they've been chosen by god...etc

Well, marriage works sometimes, whereas communism NEVER does.

My marriage works for me. Would we be able to make a marriage work with someone else? We don't know. Frankly, we don't care. Speculative relationships (you know, the "what if" game) are best left to high school kids.

communism NEVER does.

Um, why not? Because Communism has not yet been achieved does not mean that it's impossible.

Go fluffle Francis Fukuyama if that's what you believe. There's a lot of history left. :p

I myself spent nearly nineteen unhappy and depressing years in a Catholic Church which did nothing for me but leave me feeling empty and away from God, before I saw the light of Calvinism and was drawn by God to accept the 5 points


5 whole points? Wow ... how many points did the Methodists get for breaking away from Calvinism?

I didn't know there was a point system. I better get some of those blue potions the elves were dropping so I can boost my health enough to fight the axe wielding amazons and get the gold key. I think that will get me 10 or 15 points ... I can't remember. I'll probably use the points to boost my agility.

Marriage is what you make it to be. Mine is good because my wife and I work on it. But its not for everyone. People that are extremely selfish should not get married and have kids. Just not fair to the spouse and there children.

R00fletrain Well, marriage works sometimes, whereas communism NEVER does.

There are some communist states that still exist in this world. Until communism fails on a world wide scale then i feel your statement is accurate.