NationStates Jolt Archive

Hi welcome to my club, can't be arsed to give it a name!!!

We have no facilities, except for an outdoor toilet with a door that's rusting off it's hinges and a pool table with three legs. and no I won't open the curtains, it won't make any difference anyway, I've never cleaned, and they're filthy, bizarrely they let in marginely more light with the curtains closed.

So if I can be arsed to serve you feel free to order a drink, try not to be to specific though, the selection is limited to what I've managed to steal. and don't expect a clean Glass.

I think I'm going to be very successful as a club manager

*acts smug*

I think this is the club I'm going to hang around. Clubs are trendy at the moment.

*roly polys in*

I think this is the club I'm going to hang around. Clubs are trendy at the moment.

*acts smugger*

So anyone for rat?

Give me a drink in your most clean glass!

Give me a drink in your most clean glass!

This one hasn't had any thing bigger than a cockroach die in it, I'll fill it with a nice cocktail:

Windolene, mead, and Barley water

mmmm!!!

*dances on the bar*

*Lurches in through the door.
Waves a vague hello at the assembled masses.
Passes out beneath the pool table.*

*roly polys in*#

Can I Interest you in some cockroach stew, washed down with calpol on the rocks?

*walks into club*


May I use your spittoon?

#

Can I Interest you in some cockroach stew, washed down with calpol on the rocks?
i'll pass on the stew, is it purple or orange calpol?

*Lurches in through the door.
Waves a vague hello at the assembled masses.
Passes out beneath the pool table.*

Good to see the pool table get some use, I'd cover your eyes though, the rats can be quite ravenous

i'll pass on the stew, is it purple or orange calpol?

Your in luck, we have a choice!!!

how 'bout a mix?

*walks into club*


May I use your spittoon?

Certainly, but it's not so much a spitoon as it is a jug labelled "emergency mixer"

Your in luck, we have a choice!!!

how 'bout a mix?
well i don't actually have any money, maybe you could give me a small glass of purple on the house? *flutters eyelashes*

Are those rats in burger-form?

I like your club. Ok, now I actually do have to go to bed. I will see you later. :)

well i don't actually have any money, maybe you could give me a small glass of purple on the house? *flutters eyelashes*

Yeah don't see why not, I stole it anyway, I'll leave it on the bar, help yourself, I've just seen dinner disappear under the floor boards!!!

thanks *downs a shot of purple calpol* man, that's some strong, hardcore shit!

Are those rats in burger-form?

Yep, although they're mixed with the unwanted inhabitants of a former soviet countries national zoo!!!

thanks *downs a shot of purple calpol* man, that's some strong, hardcore shit!

I see a drinking contest!

How 'bout it

*reaches for the industrial strength cough medicine. Pours out 5 for tink and 5 for me. Downs one*

Man that'll put hairs on the palm of your hands!!!
Your turn!!!

I like your club. Ok, now I actually do have to go to bed. I will see you later. :)

I'll put some paraffin on ice, ready for your return!!!

Yep, although they're mixed with the unwanted inhabitants of a former soviet countries national zoo!!!

I'll have a burger, as long as it's not too furry.

I see a drinking contest!

How 'bout it

*reaches for the industrial strength cough medicine. Pours out 5 for tink and 5 for me. Downs one*

Man that'll put hairs on the palm of your hands!!!
Your turn!!!
i dunno, i get a little promiscuous when i'm drugged up......

Yeah, pass one burger to me too, I believe I never had rat before, not that I know of anyway.

*throws water at Tinks*

Yeah, pass one burger to me too, I believe I never had rat before, not that I know of anyway.
havn't you ever been to Macdonalds before?!

i dunno, i get a little promiscuous when i'm drugged up......


Well at least you won't have a cough!!!

*throws water at Tinks*
naughty FC! not when i'm wearing white!


*takes see through t shirt off, wrings it out and puts it back on*

Well at least you won't have a cough!!!
that's true..............

*downs a shot*

havn't you ever been to Macdonalds before?!
I think the make it with other stuff: fingers, bones, etc.

I'll just serve up a large plate of Rat burgers, Help yourselfs!!!
No ketchup I'm afraid. But I did find some epoxy resin in an abandoned warehouse the other day!!!

that's true..............

*downs a shot*

*downs second shot*

I don't feel right!!!

I'll just serve up a large plate of Rat burgers, Help yourselfs!!!
No ketchup I'm afraid. But I did find some epoxy resin in an abandoned warehouse the other day!!!

You wouldn't happen to have any floor polish, would you?

*downs second shot*

I don't feel right!!!
*downs another shot*

you just need more cough mixture!

i dunno, i get a little promiscuous when i'm drugged up......
:eek: if I was evil I would probably spike your drink now, lucky im not evil
*spikes tinks drink* im so evil

You wouldn't happen to have any floor polish, would you?

No but I just stole some nice bleach from Oksana's place

*Pours Chicken pi a shot, and mixes it with "spitoon" contents*

On the house!!!

*downs another shot*

you just need more cough mixture!

*downs number three*

Oh yeah, my sore throats gone!!!

*walks back in club again*

Okay I just came from the toilet... you don't want to go in there for a while... untill the water stops from floating over...

:eek: if I was evil I would probably spike your drink now, lucky im not evil
*spikes tinks drink* im so evil
*downs another shot of cough mixture*

hey baby, how you doin'?

No but I just stole some nice bleach from Oksana's place

*Pours Chicken pi a shot, and mixes it with "spitoon" contents*

On the house!!!

*downs the spittoon bleach cocktail*

Woah, it tastes like pixies!

*downs another shot of cough mixture*

hey baby, how you doin'?

*downs fourth shot, starts to slur speech*

I'm the champion, I'll take you all on

*falls of seat*

*downs the spittoon bleach cocktail*

Woah, it tastes like pixies!

No that's the silver fish, I didn't bother cleaning them out of the glass before I poured your drink!!!

*downs fourth shot, starts to slur speech*

I'm the champion, I'll take you all on

*falls of seat*
*downs the fourth and fifth shots* ha!

This rat-burger tastes a bit too familiar.

*downs another shot of cough mixture*

hey baby, how you doin'?
*winks* better now baby *puts arm around Tinks*

I'll have another bleach cocktail, CelebrityFlurgles.

*winks* better now baby *puts arm around Tinks*
because you seem like such a great guy, i'll do you a deal, 25% off, that's just £7.50 for the whole night

*downs the fourth and fifth shots* ha!

*downs last shot, sways alarmingly*

Yeah well I had two bottles of turpentine for breakfast!!!

I'll have another bleach cocktail, CelebrityFlurgles.

*Prepares a jug of bleach cocktail*

Bleach cocktails all round!!!

because you seem like such a great guy, i'll do you a deal, 25% off, that's just £7.50 for the whole night
how about I just buy you another spiked drink?

*Prepares a jug of bleach cocktail*

Bleach cocktails all round!!!

*downs a glass*

Does anybibble else want some of this?

how about I just buy you another spiked drink?
i want payment first, if you're not interested I'm sure i can find someone else who is

i want payment first, if you're not interested I'm sure i can find someone else who is
ooc: I have so many come backs to this but they are all abit harsh :(

ic:how long will this get me *pours assorted coins on the bar*

i want payment first, if you're not interested I'm sure i can find someone else who is

I'm not sure if this constitutes promiscuity while drugged up, more ruthless capitalism while drugged up.

But feel free to ply your trade, this isn't a snooty establishment

ooc: I have so many come backs to this but they are all abit harsh :(

ic:how long will this get me *pours assorted coins on the bar*
ooc: i wouldn't mind, it's only a joke lol

ic: *counts coins* 78p and a button? 45minutes

*downs a glass*

Does anybibble else want some of this?

Looks like it's just you and me

*pours out two glasses and toast chicken pi's health*

I'm not sure if this constitutes promiscuity while drugged up, more ruthless capitalism while drugged up.

But feel free to ply your trade, this isn't a snooty establishmentthanks, this seems like the kinda place where i could earn a decent wage, you mind if i use your broom closet? or even that sofa over there will do

thanks, this seems like the kinda place where i could earn a decent wage, you mind if i use your broom closet?

Don't see why not, It's wired up to the CCTV network, for er... safety, yeah that's believable

Don't see why not, It's wired up to the CCTV network, for er... safety, yeah that's believable
thanks, could i get a copy of all the tapes for my website though?

*counts coins* 78p and a button? 45minutes
ill take it
*takes Tinks to the sofa*
:fluffle:

ill take it
*takes Tinks to the sofa*
:fluffle:
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Looks like it's just you and me

*pours out two glasses and toast chicken pi's health*

Thanks, just one more glass. Anyone fancy a game of pool?

I'm off. Help yourselves to dead animals and barely drinkable cleaning products while I'm away.

The CCTV monitors are behind the bar, feel free to move them!!!

Thanks, just one more glass. Anyone fancy a game of pool?
aye

aye

Okay, but we need something to prop up the table first. It's only got three legs.

So, do we have anything that's exactly the same size as a pool table leg?

*roots around*

And I don't think two balls are enough to play pool.

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
*cuddles*
more :fluffle:

*cuddles :fluffle: s does naughty things*

Al those rat-burgers made me hungry.

See ya, people.

*away I go*

And I don't think two balls are enough to play pool.

No worries, there are plenty of dead rats we can use.

*cuddles :fluffle: s does naughty things*
*gasps for air*
:fluffle:

ooc: We better stop or this will get outta hand ;) Myrth will get jealous

*throws tinks a tip*
till next time hun

*throws tinks a tip*
till next time hun
ta very much!

Okay, but we need something to prop up the table first. It's only got three legs.

So, do we have anything that's exactly the same size as a pool table leg?

*roots around*

We could shove Johnny Wadd under that end of the table ....that might work.



Edit:
Hats off to the thread originator. Very funny. May very well become more popular than Paradise Club

Edit:
Hats off to the thread originator. Very funny. May very well become more popular than Paradise Club
it better not!


*stands around looking for more business*

it better not!


*stands around looking for more business*


Tink, as long as you are a member of PC, it will live on fore eternity ;)

Tink, as long as you are a member of PC, it will live on fore eternity ;)
lol, thanks, i would imagine i will remain a member forever considering it is my club



:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

lol, thanks, i would imagine i will remain a member forever considering it is my club



:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:


Oh...did not know you were the one who invented PC. Then yes! It shall live forever!

I'm no good at roll playing games. Well....except when my daughter and I have tea parties....we pretend we are English and put on our accents. You havent had a good time until you have pretend tea with a 6 year old who looks at you and says "I wonder what the members of the royal councel are doing this afternoon?" (in a 6 year old Brittish accent) lol

Oh...did not know you were the one who invented PC. Then yes! It shall live forever!

I'm no good at roll playing games. Well....except when my daughter and I have tea parties....we pretend we are English and put on our accents. You havent had a good time until you have pretend tea with a 6 year old who looks at you and says "I wonder what the members of the royal councel are doing this afternoon?" (in a 6 year old Brittish accent) lol
that's awesome! i'm uber jealous! i only get to have tea parties with my teddies :(

that's awesome! i'm uber jealous! i only get to have tea parties with my teddies :(


We should put on our new hats that Keruvalia made us and have out own tea party :D

We should put on our new hats that Keruvalia made us and have out own tea party :D
that would be so cool!

I'm no good at roll playing games. Well....except when my daughter and I have tea parties....we pretend we are English and put on our accents. You havent had a good time until you have pretend tea with a 6 year old who looks at you and says "I wonder what the members of the royal councel are doing this afternoon?" (in a 6 year old Brittish accent) lol
Awwwwwww

Peechy, i think we should dress Haken up in a fairy princess dress and he can join our tea party

Peechy, i think we should dress Haken up in a fairy princess dress and he can join our tea party
I don't think that's a good idea (http://www.geektimes.com/michael/travel/usa/ca/sanFrancisco/castro/events/1998PrideParade/gallery-1/images/fairy.jpg)

Peechy, i think we should dress Haken up in a fairy princess dress and he can join our tea party


Most definitely! He could grant us wishes and fly around sprinkling special Haken dust all over the place, thus creating joy and rainbows everywhere!

I don't think that's a good idea (http://www.geektimes.com/michael/travel/usa/ca/sanFrancisco/castro/events/1998PrideParade/gallery-1/images/fairy.jpg)
i think it is: http://img141.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img141&image=fp4xd.png

xxx-HUGS AND KISSES AND FAIRY WISHES-xxx

Most definitely! He could grant us wishes and fly around sprinkling special Haken dust all over the place, thus creating joy and rainbows everywhere!
and he'll look so perty in a dress!

i think it is: http://img141.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img141&image=fp4xd.png
Wow, I'm hot!

I can definately spred joy with that body!
Dust that creates rainbows... That will cost ya. ;)

hmm i wonder if any one would like to come to a different club?
this one is good and i really like the idea so i made one myself.
if you dont want to s o.k but i reallly need more people in it. :(

Hey, CF where is my paraffin?

*comes in while club is empty and replaces "food and drinks" with real food and drinks*

*brings in a TV and a couch and installs a candy machine*

*cleans the bathroom and fixes the hinges* I'm leaving my cat here, he's pissing me off. *leaves Benno the cat* Please, be nice to him though. I love him he just annoys me. He like butter and pizza. And, he goes to the bathroom outside. ;)

Oh.. but feed him good food, too. I don't want him to get fat.

Hi welcome to my club, can't be arsed to give it a name!!!

We have no facilities, except for an outdoor toilet with a door that's rusting off it's hinges and a pool table with three legs. and no I won't open the curtains, it won't make any difference anyway, I've never cleaned, and they're filthy, bizarrely they let in marginely more light with the curtains closed.

So if I can be arsed to serve you feel free to order a drink, try not to be to specific though, the selection is limited to what I've managed to steal. and don't expect a clean Glass.

I think I'm going to be very successful as a club manager

*acts smug*


Ahhh, what the hell. Forget the glass and bring me a whole keg of Guinness! Drinks are on Dragonmoth everyone! Step right up to the tap!

Matthew

yay...!

*chases kitty around the bar*

Hey, be nice to my cat.

Hey, FC how old are you?

*chases Oksana around the bar*

Hey, FC how old are you?
take a guess
*chases*

Tell me!!

13

Tell me!!
come on its no fun if you dont guess
*trips over bar stool*
21 in march

I said 13!!!

I said 13!!!
highlight my above post for the secret answer

So how old are you?!

come on its no fun if you dont guess
*trips over bar stool*
21 in march
-changed from white to red-

:rolleyes:You are such a clutz!

How come it takes you so long to say something?

How come it takes you so long to say something?
because im busy doing other stuff

Oh! I see how it is.

*comes in when it's closed and leasves JR the kitten* I'll come back and get him later, he's been breaking everything.

*comes in while club is empty and replaces "food and drinks" with real food and drinks*

*brings in a TV and a couch and installs a candy machine*

*cleans the bathroom and fixes the hinges* I'm leaving my cat here, he's pissing me off. *leaves Benno the cat* Please, be nice to him though. I love him he just annoys me. He like butter and pizza. And, he goes to the bathroom outside.

Oh.. but feed him good food, too. I don't want him to get fat.

*wakes up* CALPOL?!?!

*comes in while club is empty and replaces "food and drinks" with real food and drinks*


*I enter the club and do myself a bleach cocktail, sip it then spit it out*


This isn't bleach! This isn't even Toilet Duck, for Christ's sake!

Do you see why I tried to replace it with real liquor?

Do you see why I tried to replace it with real liquor?


Nah, it just doesn't have the same tang...I'll just have some Calpol instead.


*takes out hipflask full of Calpol, takes a swig*

suit yourself. Well, aren't you glad I fixed the hinges on the door?

suit yourself. Well, aren't you glad I fixed the hinges on the door?

Sure, it's good to be able to close it now, although I thought it lent a certain rustic charm to the place.

Sure, it's good to be able to close it now, although I thought it lent a certain rustic charm

Great! Less hope we can't say that for what's inside of it.

Great! Less hope we can't say that for what's inside of it.

Oh, it's not *cough* too bad *cough* in there...

Do you want to watch some TV?

Do you want to watch some TV?

Nah, I've got to leave for a lesson in five minutes.

Have fun!

I need something strong, got any Beechams?



i just got busted skiving college

Have fun!

No worries, it's going to be a cheerful double ICT lesson followed by double geography!

Okay, really gotta go now.