NationStates Jolt Archive

It never fails; no matter how intelligent we are, no matter how wise we are, no matter how much sense we have, we all do stupid stuff from time to time. This is a thread dedicated to allowing you to share those experiences with the rest of us NS'ers that we might we get a little laugh and a little wisdom from it.

This is one of mine: Last year, during a very busy week for me at the university, I laid down to take a nap one night at about 7pm. I later woke up at a round twelve o'clock and seeing the time on my alarm clock, I rushed out in alarm. I ran to my roomate, Luke's, room and began banging on the door, yelling "You've gotta get up, man! We slept in! We're late for class!" He came out all bleary eyed and asked me "What are you talking about?" "I pointed at the clock on the microwave and yelled "Its twelve o'clock, man, we've gotta get goin'." He started to reply when suddenly the window caught my eye. It was pitch black outside. I had awoken ant 12am not 12pm. I suddenly felt very small. I emitted a small "Oh" and went back to bed. Luckily, Luke, took it very well, his laughter at my mistake chasing me down the hall to my room. What made this story really funny was that about a month later, he did the same thing. :D

I was out driving semi-legally (okay, illegally) and my parents didn't know I was driving, so when i'm about 200 metres away from my house, I turn the car off, this time however i must have been tired, I switched the car off and pulled the key out. Well, the steering locked, almost hit a tree and ended up in some guys front garden.

Gunned it out of there, feel sorry for the blokes front lawn though :(.

I once ate Lard! I went to the fridge to get some food, and thought that someone had bought goats cheese, so I helped myself to a big slice, and to my horror discovered it was Lard

Last Halloween, a friend of mine had party...b.y.o.b......i took with me 2 big bottles of wine and a liter of Jagermeister....now, i tend to be the more controlled type of drinker, but it was a rather largee party for them and i hadn't seen her or her husbnad for quite a while, so i cut loose...i polished off the first bottle of wine by myself along with 4 or 5 shots of Jager.....ppl all over this party were feelin good and apparently a little reckless...soon me and another girl were workin on the second bottle of wine and me and a few other ppl were working on the rest of the Jager.....never finished the wine, but i'll be damned if all of us didn't kill that Jager bottle...after puttin out what felt like my 100th smoke, i stood up and walked into their living room and let some ppl know that i was gonna lay down for about an hour and that they should wake me up so we could hang out some more...i layed down on their white couch, took my shoes off and tried to sleep a little.....a few mins later i here someone asking for me so i sat up...i then proceeded to throw up all over their couch and myself...it was like a purple, rank smelling waterfall...someone heard this and ran to get my friend and her husband...they came in and helped clean me up and the couch...and layed me back down...for the rest of the night it was a toss up between sleeping and puking my brains out....the next morning i woke up to the stench of vomit and hard liquor...as i tried to stand up to leave, i threw up all over again and dry heaved for about the next hour or so...we also saw that there was a large smelly purple hand print on the couch as well as similar leavings throughout there living room area.....interesting note though...of the 30 or so ppl there, 6 DID NOT throw up...ages ranged from 19 to 30 for everyone there...sadly, but understood, they haven't thrown a party since then and although i am still on excellent terms with my friend, it will be an accomplishment to be able to drink in front of them again.....moral of the story: mix sissy ass wine with hard liquor, and you will not win.....

Bravo Holmesetad, keep 'em coming guys and you gals too.

One night at a friends party - I had had a bottle of whiskey (neat) and god knows how much else (apprently I was drinking white-rum from the bottle as well) - I had just popped outside for some reason when I noticed that two people from the party were leaving. I didn't know these people, they were freinds of a friends boyfriend, but I still called out to them and insisted that they stay at the party: "Nooo, don't leave!". Anyway they ignored my pleas and got into their car to drive off where-apon I - inspired by a Father Ted episode I had wathced before going out - climbed onto the bonnet of the car and started knocking on the window. I managed to get about 50 metres down the road before I slipped off and hit the kerb - breaking a tooth and my arm.
Never spoke to those guys again...

Roflstrudel, with a side of lol. That's excellent! :D

Sorry that it's not quite as amusing as the other stories told thus far :), but I have to be in college at 9am 3 days a week, and that is EARLY for me. One such Friday morning, I was reeeally tired, having gone to a party the night before, and was barely awake when I dressed. Nobody told me for the whole day - 2 lectures, a flute lesson, shopping, going to the pub - that I had my top on not only inside out but also back to front, and had been walking around with this "Topshop" label on my front for the whole day. When I got ready for bed that night, I noticed that I had done the same with my underwear :P

Running into my door with my little toe.... :(

That was 2 months ago and it still hurts :( :(

Running into my door with my little toe.... :(

That was 2 months ago and it still hurts :( :(

I've done that! my little toe on my right foot is now at a different angle from the angle it used to be :)

I was running thru the house at full tilt one time and my pinky toe hung the edge of the couch. Couldn't walk without a limp for the next few days and it was indeed quite a while before it felt completely well.

It's the worst :(

And the doctors don't do anything about it :( :(

It's the worst :(

And the doctors don't do anything about it :( :(
Awww! Try using first aid tape to strap it to the next toe to give it some support? I am a girl of many broken bones - I have broken my nose 13 times now!

after installing a window into my computer, there was some of the rubber edging left over. I (for sme reason) thought it would be fun to shre it into a bunch of little pieces with a utility knife. I cut off one small piece, and thinking i could cut it in half held it in my left hand and proceeded to attack it with the knife in my right hand. I succeeded to cut it, but in the process also cut into the tip of the little finger on my left hand. that was about four days ago, and it still hurts like a bitch.

Awww! Try using first aid tape to strap it to the next toe to give it some support? I am a girl of many broken bones - I have broken my nose 13 times now!
:eek: Barfighter?

Awww! Try using first aid tape to strap it to the next toe to give it some support? I am a girl of many broken bones - I have broken my nose 13 times now!

Whatever it is that's causing it! STOP DOING IT NOW!!!!!

Took far to much acid in the summer of 1988 just outside of Stonehenge...when a riot broke out...

it was....interesting!

*rolls up sleeves* Okay, here we go.

I am the king of stupid stuff. Hell, as many here can testify to, I do stupid stuff deliberately just to witness the mayhem that ensues. Even if I end up getting the worst of it. How stupid is that?

I've been here at the Nationstates general forum for about a year and a half now and I've shared a lot of stupid stories. There are quite a few I probably will never share because they are just too inappropriate, or because they involve my wife(who is rabidly paranoid of me telling too much about us). So right now, I'm scouring my head for a good one that I've never told before.

In the mean time, let me retell the story of a stupid bet that I made.

I was in college. Sophomore year. I had to leave school the following year for financial reasons and I ended up joining the Navy. I finished college after that. But at the time, I was nineteen and at the height of my idiocy. ONe of my good friends in the dorm I was in was a blackbelt martial artist(Tae Kwan Do if I recall) and I don't remember the exact circumstances(alcohol was involved), but the stories of how many times I got struck in the groin came up. In a fit of bragging, I told them how I could take a kick to the groin and stay standing up. You know, Roshambo style. So somehow, I ended up making a bet that I could take THREE full forced kicks to the groin by this martial artist and remain standing. If I could, I'd win $500.

I won the bet. Want to year the really stupid part? I voluntarily took a fouth for another $100. I didn't get it. My buddies were swollen, and had I been a bit more sober(or over 21), I would have gone to the doctor. But the swelling had subsided by morning. And the ache by the next day.

:( Hardest $500 I ever made. :(

*rolls up sleeves* Okay, here we go.

I am the king of stupid stuff. Hell, as many here can testify to, I do stupid stuff deliberately just to witness the mayhem that ensues. Even if I end up getting the worst of it. How stupid is that?

I've been here at the Nationstates general forum for about a year and a half now and I've shared a lot of stupid stories. There are quite a few I probably will never share because they are just too inappropriate, or because they involve my wife(who is rabidly paranoid of me telling too much about us). So right now, I'm scouring my head for a good one that I've never told before.

In the mean time, let me retell the story of a stupid bet that I made.

I was in college. Sophomore year. I had to leave school the following year for financial reasons and I ended up joining the Navy. I finished college after that. But at the time, I was nineteen and at the height of my idiocy. ONe of my good friends in the dorm I was in was a blackbelt martial artist(Tae Kwan Do if I recall) and I don't remember the exact circumstances(alcohol was involved), but the stories of how many times I got struck in the groin came up. In a fit of bragging, I told them how I could take a kick to the groin and stay standing up. You know, Roshambo style. So somehow, I ended up making a bet that I could take THREE full forced kicks to the groin by this martial artist and remain standing. If I could, I'd win $500.

I won the bet. Want to year the really stupid part? I voluntarily took a fouth for another $100. I didn't get it. My buddies were swollen, and had I been a bit more sober(or over 21), I would have gone to the doctor. But the swelling had subsided by morning. And the ache by the next day.

:( Hardest $500 I ever made. :(

Nice!!! I once let someone give me third degree burns for a mere £5. (Booze, cannabis and acid were all involved!)

Nice!!! I once let someone give me third degree burns for a mere £5. (Booze, cannabis and acid were all involved!)

If they weren't, you should probably tell a psychiatrist. :)

If they weren't, you should probably tell a psychiatrist. :)

never crosses my mind to mention it when talking to psychiatriast :)
It wasn't that bad though, just on my hand!!!

never crosses my mind to mention it when talking to psychiatriast :)
It wasn't that bad though, just on my hand!!!
still, must've left a nice mark!

never crosses my mind to mention it when talking to psychiatriast :)
It wasn't that bad though, just on my hand!!!

Oh, it's not the location. It's the money. self-mutilation for a mere fiver is not sane. Unless you're wasted. :)

Give us another story LG! Encore!

:eek: Barfighter?
Haha, nothing so exciting! I broke it when I was a toddler going headfirst down a slide, and since then it's just been quite weak and breaks easily. If I walk into someone now, it breaks. It has broken in some interesting incidents, though. One of my friends has broken it twice - firstly by swinging a music stand around her head when I was standing behind her, and again by throwing her dog at me. Another guy broke it by mistake because he said the word "pankering" and I was laughing too much to explain why.

still, must've left a nice mark!

Yeah I'm told the scars are for life!!!!

It didn't cause any pain though, till about 3 weeks later. At the time I was too wasted to feel it, and afterwards all the nerves were deaded!!!

Haha, nothing so exciting! I broke it when I was a toddler going headfirst down a slide, and since then it's just been quite weak and breaks easily. If I walk into someone now, it breaks. It has broken in some interesting incidents, though. One of my friends has broken it twice - firstly by swinging a music stand around her head when I was standing behind her, and again by throwing her dog at me. Another guy broke it by mistake because he said the word "pankering" and I was laughing too much to explain why.

Last christmas eve I was in the pub with some friends, and one of them pinched my nose for a joke (Quite gently) but for some reason it started bleeding really badly, she was mortified and apologised profusely, but I thought it was so funny, that every time I managed to stem the flow, I started laughing again, and it started bleeding some more! I managed to get drunk on 3 pints that night cos of blood loss!!!

Last christmas eve I was in the pub with some friends, and one of them pinched my nose for a joke (Quite gently) but for some reason it started bleeding really badly, she was mortified and apologised profusely, but I thought it was so funny, that every time I managed to stem the flow, I started laughing again, and it started bleeding some more! I managed to get drunk on 3 pints that night cos of blood loss!!!

*writes this down* Note to self: Save money on alcohol by donating blood...

Haha, nothing so exciting! I broke it when I was a toddler going headfirst down a slide, and since then it's just been quite weak and breaks easily. If I walk into someone now, it breaks. It has broken in some interesting incidents, though. One of my friends has broken it twice - firstly by swinging a music stand around her head when I was standing behind her, and again by throwing her dog at me. Another guy broke it by mistake because he said the word "pankering" and I was laughing too much to explain why.

People never seem to realise the damaged a well-aimed Poodle can do to a human being until it's too late.

*writes this down* Note to self: Save money on alcohol by donating blood...

I quite often go to the pub after donating blood. My mum, who is a nurse, told me it was OK as long as I drink guiness, although I suspect this is damage limitation on her part to keep me off the hard stuff!!!

Last christmas eve I was in the pub with some friends, and one of them pinched my nose for a joke (Quite gently) but for some reason it started bleeding really badly, she was mortified and apologised profusely, but I thought it was so funny, that every time I managed to stem the flow, I started laughing again, and it started bleeding some more! I managed to get drunk on 3 pints that night cos of blood loss!!!
Lol, I love it when they feel really guilty about it! I guess I'm quite evil...
I volunteer at a kids summer camp as a leader 2 weeks a year, and 2003 I had just had my nose pierced. We were having a wide game (a capture-the-flag thing), and I was being chased and accidentally ran into a tree (don't ask, lol). THE BIGGEST NOSE BLEED YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE! The piercing studs are massive, and it caused the hugest blood flow. I'm not exaggerating, there was so much that people couldn't even tell where it was coming from, and I left a trail of blood. Someone fainted. Jez laughed. It was actually quite funny, it didn't actually hurt but caused so much mayhem!

People never seem to realise the damaged a well-aimed Poodle can do to a human being until it's too late.
LOL!!! It was actually a labrador... I wish it had been a poodle.

Lol, I love it when they feel really guilty about it! I guess I'm quite evil...
I volunteer at a kids summer camp as a leader 2 weeks a year, and 2003 I had just had my nose pierced. We were having a wide game (a capture-the-flag thing), and I was being chased and accidentally ran into a tree (don't ask, lol). THE BIGGEST NOSE BLEED YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE! The piercing studs are massive, and it caused the hugest blood flow. I'm not exaggerating, there was so much that people couldn't even tell where it was coming from, and I left a trail of blood. Someone fainted. Jez laughed. It was actually quite funny, it didn't actually hurt but caused so much mayhem!

yeah, the only thing berrer than getting one person to feel guilty, is to get about 30 people to feel sorry for you

yeah, the only thing berrer than getting one person to feel guilty, is to get about 30 people to feel sorry for you
Or, if you do it publically around lots of kids, to horrify about 30 people and to get about 70 to feel sorry for you :D And to get bloodstained pink trousers...

Or, if you do it publically around lots of kids, to horrify about 30 people and to get about 70 to feel sorry for you :D And to get bloodstained pink trousers...
:D :D :D

I think we grossed everyone out. Let's try and entice them back with more stories of stupid things...
I once took the multitasking thing too far, and attempted to write an essay in the bath. Needless to say, I dropped the bundle of papers in the tub...

Give us another story LG! Encore!

Hmm... I'm not sure if I told this story. I might have mentioned being thrown out of the back of a truck, but I don't think I went into detail. Here goes...

I used to off-roading with my friends. Unfortunately, I never had an off-roading type of vehicle. Other than my bike. I often tried to ride my bike at high speed across rough terrain or through deep mud knowing it wasn't going to work just to see how far I could get. Anyhoo... We were in a friend's truck. Three of us. Two of them in the cab, and me in the truck bed. We ran along some nice bumpy trails, me holding on for dear life and occasionally getting thrown around like a rag doll and laughing the entire time. We were all laughing. The driver could barely see straight. Past this one stream, the woods open up on this field that became a swampy mudhole every spring. Nearly an acre of deep mud lay before us. He didn't even slow down. Mud is flying, I'm well splattered. We make it across. He spins the truck around to ride through again. We get about halfway when the truck hits a deep rut that I don't anticipate. I'm thrown... THROWN! out of the truck and I land on the only boulder in a sea of mud. It's about half the size of me, and I hit the rock hip-first, then roll onto my chest, knocking the wind out of me, careen off and into the mud. My friends see me fly out, panic and stop the truck right in the middle of the mud. I'm on my stomach, half-buried in mud, and trying to breathe. After managing to roll on my back, and stipping out mud, my friends reach me, both concerned and laughing. After some time to get my breath back, I was okay. Until the walk back to civilization. The truck was completely stuck. By the time I got home, I was limping badly. The truck had to be dragged out with a tractor.

That was also the day that my mother took away my house key and gave me a basement key instead. From that day onward, when I came home from anywhere, I had to go in the basement where the washing machines were, take off my muddy clothes(as they often were), head up the stairs naked to the bathroom right next to the basement door where I could shower. That pretty much became the norm for the rest of my teenage years.

I think we grossed everyone out. Let's try and entice them back with more stories of stupid things...
I once took the multitasking thing too far, and attempted to write an essay in the bath. Needless to say, I dropped the bundle of papers in the tub...

Not really a stupid story, but when I was a kid I used to get bad nose bleeds (Although they've stopped as an adult- hence the christmas eve surprise), and when I was about 10 I had a nose bleed in the bath that was so bad it turned the water pink!!!

Sorry to Gross people out.

Stupid story: I once got really stoned while out fishing, and when to cast the rod out and followed it into the river!!!

ummmmm I've done loads of stupid things, but its hard to think up one on the spot... *thinks*

A few weeks ago I got ripped on booze, shrooms and weed and lit my hair on fire. Apparently it flamed up pretty good before my mate put it out. I didn't feel a thing. At the time, I had a large amount of incredibly greesy, curly hair. It was my first and last time on shrooms. (I hope, although i hear they can be fun too.)

I've grabed onto an electric fence to proove that it was in fact an electric fence.

Playing defence in an inline hockey game and getting yourself between a slap shot and the goal on a regular basis could probably be considered stupid.

Diving head first into a gorse bush probably wouldn't be considered clever.

Eating 17 strong mints at once to show that I could was actually kind of entertaining except for the harsh burning sensation.

ummmm... I found out the hard way why there are 'dont run' signs next to swimming pools. Only a broken wrist though.

Stupid story: I once got really stoned while out fishing, and when to cast the rod out and followed it into the river!!!

That is a rather amusing mental image :D

That is a rather amusing mental image :D

Yes everyone who was there was amused (to say the least!) the river was really polluted as well, I ended up with unpleasant oily stains on my skin which took about 10 showers to wash off, and my mum told me I'd get weils disease, which made me paranoid!!!

Yes everyone who was there was amused (to say the least!) the river was really polluted as well, I ended up with unpleasant oily stains on my skin which took about 10 showers to wash off, and my mum told me I'd get weils disease, which made me paranoid!!!
Lol yeah, rivers/canals aren't the best place to have a swim... I used to go canoeing, but two of the guys I went with abandoned their canoes and got so ill from the water. Mind you, they also attempted to paddle UP a weir, and high-walker across the parapet of a bridge over said weir.

Lol yeah, rivers/canals aren't the best place to have a swim... I used to go canoeing, but two of the guys I went with abandoned their canoes and got so ill from the water. Mind you, they also attempted to paddle UP a weir, and high-walker across the parapet of a bridge over said weir.

Never try to run across a frozen over manure pit either. :p

Here's a good one...got completely BLITZED, blacked out, and apparently mistook my dresser for the toilet...that was a LOT of laundry...

... and again by throwing her dog at me...
WTF? :eek:

Ah stupidness, in fact down right idiocy, of the bet i had with a friend...

the bet was...

"Is that Fence electrified or not, despite the warnings that say it is with a rather healthy voltage being displayed on the fence?" :D

My friend said yes, i said no. :(

The Dr's at the hospital laughed very very hard when i told them... :(

aw heck...why not....

Several years ago, I decided to subject myself to the painful process of looking for a new job. I had sent out resumes to some really great companies,and I finally get a call from the grand- daddy of all that I had applied to. Now I dont get nervous too often. But I really wanted this job. I go buy a new suit,get my hair trimmed, manicure, and bought the most beautiful shoes to compliment the outfit. On the morning of the interview, I got up extra early so that I could get dressed and ready and have my "confidence" talk in the mirror.
A little tidbit: after I get dressed, I sometimes put my slippers back on while I finish doing my hair and all that. I put my shoes on last, grab my purse and hit the door.
So...I get to the interview about 20 minutes early. I think early is always good. Let the receptionist know I am here and that I have an appointment. I go sit down and glance over my resume a few more times, and I keep feeling like someone is looking at me. The receptionist keeps checking me out. (yeah right kel). I caught her looking at me like 4 or 5 times....always with a smile and then she looks away quickly. About 5 minutes before my appointment time, I dropped the pen I was chewing on due to my nervous oral fixation habit. I reached down by my feet to pick it up...and to my horror....I still had on my slippers. Not just plain old slippers. They were red....bright red. My suit was NOT. 3 seconds later, that snickering receptionist told me that Mr. Shaw was ready to see me. I said f -it and went on in for the interview. I shook his hand and he shook mine.

I did not get the job, but I did get called back for a 2nd and third interview.

(yeah right kel)

Awwww what i do?

Awwww what i do?


nothing sweetie-lol.....my name is kelley and i was talking to myself in parentheses

Someone got me to post a picture of me with a bra on my head on the internet

nothing sweetie-lol.....my name is kelley and i was talking to myself in parentheses

LOL...whoops...er nice to meet you kelley! :D

Is LPs pic in the pic thread?

Someone got me to post a picture of me with a bra on my head on the internet


LOL.....that person must have you under some kind of spell


and you should put the pic in YOUR sig.....

LOL.....that person must have you under some kind of spell


and you should put the pic in YOUR sig.....
Nah. I don't do sigs

LOL...whoops...er nice to meet you kelley! :D

Is LPs pic in the pic thread?


uh-huh it sure is.....but its about to be in his signature (or else)

uh-huh it sure is.....but its about to be in his signature (or else)
Or else what? :eek:

:D <- me getting the wrong ideas right now

LOL.....that person must have you under some kind of spell


and you should put the pic in YOUR sig.....


The question is, what did you do to make him do it? or was it just a bet...


*hopes the person who took pics of Kellarly in drag does not know about this website...and has burned them...even if i did look alright in them*

The question is, what did you do to make him do it? or was it just a bet...


*hopes the person who took pics of Kellarly in drag does not know about this website...and has burned them...even if i did look alright in them*


I had to edit my signature to show my undying adoration if he actually went through with it. sigh....I'll put it in my sig cause I dont wanna mess up his Paradise Club posts.....they might look silly with a sig.


And we want to see that pic Kel!!

I had to edit my signature to show my undying adoration if he actually went through with it. sigh....I'll put it in my sig cause I dont wanna mess up his Paradise Club posts.....they might look silly with a sig.


And we want to see that pic Kel!!
Hell yeah we want to see it.

And I don't do sigs because I find them annoying. :( :fluffle:

(But I WILL check yours on a daily basis)

I had to edit my signature to show my undying adoration if he actually went through with it. sigh....I'll put it in my sig cause I dont wanna mess up his Paradise Club posts.....they might look silly with a sig.


And we want to see that pic Kel!!

I truly have no idea where the pic is, and thats scary enough, i know who has it, but she's in England and at another uni to me :eek: I get the feeling if i ever get married or have a big party it will soon appear!

I voted for Clinton the first time instead of Bush Sr. Biggest mistake I ever made in my life.