NationStates Jolt Archive

An article from a major newspaper was emailed to me yesterday. It says that Harry Potter books cause satanism. Here's what the article said.


Lock Haven PA- Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third grader at Lock Haven Elementary school, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, and of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history. And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals. "I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School" said Ashley, conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies."



The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.

They sure do

Congrats, you've made my IGNORE list!

Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history.
All I have to say is that she's a slow reader. And the major newspaper was probably The Onion.

(Crazy Stuff)
Yeah good luck with all that...

I like the part where you expect people to accept your proof without any kind of source, or logic for that matter.

Burning is too good for this trash.

The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.
Necronomicon is a book invented whole cloth by HP Lovecraft for his Chtulhu mythos. It is not a real book.

May I ask what is sick about the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin?

And that piece of news comes from the satire site The Onion. It is fake.

Thanks Jesussaves, you've just made my day. :)

Copy of The Onion Article:

Article (http://www.elektron.pl/ks-jacek/Harry%20Potter%20Books%20Spark%20Rise%20In%20Satanism%20Among%20Children.htm)

Necronomicon is a book invented whole cloth by HP Lovecraft for his Chtulhu mythos. It is not a real book.

May I ask what is sick about the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin?

And that piece of news comes from the satire site The Onion. It is fake.
THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES IS A BOOK OF LIES! IT SAYS THE BIBLE IS FAKE

Copy of The Onion Article:
OMG, my respect for Jesussaves now dropped from -10 to -99999.....

I used to think that
Jesussaves was SO for real,
Know, I know better :D

Ahh! Ahh! Look out mate!
Satan comes for thee, bruu harr!
EAT THY MORTAL SOUL

Confusing, yes?

Dude, you mean the Onion actually fooled somebody? That's fucking terrific!

-snip-

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.

If we are to stop sick books out there which convert young people away from Christian values, we should first focus on the much more addictive romance novels. With graphic depictions of Fabio and the many different ways he can "use his extra-long hair", these surely do more damage to youth than Harry Potter.

You know what Harry Potter is? Fiction. If people can't handle it there's no reason to ban them. Same reason Beavis & Butthead should not have been banned. Anyone who thinks the Harry Potter books are more than just fiction need to seriously rethink their meaningless lives.

THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES IS A BOOK OF LIES! IT SAYS THE BIBLE IS FAKE
Even if it's true (which I doubt very much), it'S still the author's opinion. He is entitled to it as much as you or me. Banning a book for this would do a great disservice to libraries and schools everywhere.

My first Jesussaves thread!!!!! HOORAY

DOWN WITH HARRY POTTER!!!!!

Hey guys,

I think Jesussaves is a parody.

Am I right or am I wrong?

THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES IS A BOOK OF LIES! IT SAYS THE BIBLE IS FAKE
Oh noes! Reading science books turns you to Satanism!
Let's all quit with this eeevil science stuff, and stick to reading only the Bible.

If we are to stop sick books out there which convert young people away from Christian values, we should first focus on the much more addictive romance novels. With graphic depictions of Fabio and the many different ways he can "use his extra-long hair", these surely do more damage to youth than Harry Potter.
theres lots of evil books out there. Some body should stop kids from getting to them.

Hey guys,

I think Jesussaves is a parody.

Am I right or am I wrong?

Nah, I think he's for real. If he really was a fake, he would have gotten bored of it by now.

Even if it's true (which I doubt very much), it'S still the author's opinion. He is entitled to it as much as you or me. Banning a book for this would do a great disservice to libraries and schools everywhere.
Kids should not be given books full of lies.

Hey guys,

I think Jesussaves is a parody.

Am I right or am I wrong?
WE HAVE A WINNER!

And to think I was about to bang my head on the table....

*bangs head on chair*

Hey guys,

I think Jesussaves is a parody.

Am I right or am I wrong?
I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.

Oh noes! Reading science books turns you to Satanism!
Let's all quit with this eeevil science stuff, and stick to reading only the Bible.
But the bible sucks. Besides which, books like Stephen Brust's To Reign In Hell are much moe damaging to christianity than books like HP

Or for that matter, Heinlein's Job: A Comedy of Justice.

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.
*cough*proof of parrot*cough*

Er... hang on...... :confused: :p

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.
I'm guessing that right there was a subtle answer of "yes".

theres lots of evil books out there. Some body should stop kids from getting to them.
I agree. Let's start with the Bible and Koran.

They sure do


They do not because even priests and catachists use these books as a way to explain to the children about the bible. It isn't supposed to be all about the magic it's about the caring and the giving.

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.
Parody, not parrot. My god, are you for real? No, you can't be.

Kids should not be given books full of lies.
Well that leaves out the bible i'm afraid.

Nah, I think he's for real. If he really was a fake, he would have gotten bored of it by now.

Are you serious. I bet he has having a blast. Did you see that post about the Origin of Species? I was laughing, I bet he was too.

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.

That comment changed my mind. You are taking the piss.

ROFLMAO. Parrot...

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.

That is fucking wonderful.

theres lots of evil books out there. Some body should stop kids from getting to them.

Yeah, cut their legs off. That should stop them getting to them.

An article from a major newspaper was emailed to me yesterday. It says that Harry Potter books cause satanism. Here's what the article said.


Lock Haven PA- Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third grader at Lock Haven Elementary school, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, and of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history. And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals. "I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School" said Ashley, conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies."



The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.
*chokes on her coffee, and spews java out her nose with laughter*
Oh Jesussaves...I was starting to think you may not actually be a troll and that you were really serious all this time...thank you for setting me straight! that is the single funniest thing I have read in a week!

My opinion of you has completely changed. You are doing a great job here...keep it up!

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.

Oh, man. If only all Christians were as totally awesome as Jesussaves, I might actually accept Christ as my personal savior (instead of worshipping Lenny's dad's old hunting trophy).

Um, if ur name is Jesussaves, that means it is programmed into you to be hyper-religious. And besides, Origin of the Species is not an "evil" book. It shows how things came to be through nature, not through this silly notion that God created everything.

Although, now you're going to have to poke your own eyes out for reading my sinful and blasphemous post. :D

I don't care what you think. You cant even spell parrot.
BUAHAAAHHAAA! That one tops the original post! I'm going to start a Jesussaves fanclub...oh...oh...wheez....chest pains...

Um, if ur name is Jesussaves, that means it is programmed into you to be hyper-religious. And besides, Origin of the Species is not an "evil" book. It shows how things came to be through nature, not through this silly notion that God created everything.

Although, now you're going to have to poke your own eyes out for reading my sinful and blasphemous post. :D
The bible says that God made people. we didn't come from monkeys. If we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys around? Evilution is wrong.

Jesussaves did you ride the short bus to school??because what you are saying is the stuff i would believe to come out of a three-year old "special person" books ae not evil..it's the people who believe that book and warp it to their own personal gain(i.e. i give religous fanatics) Secondly in all the harry potter books it makes no damn mention of the occult throughout the whole series..

jesussaves i pray for you that someone will instill some intelligence in you,because obviously you are lacking in that department





"I believe in moderation,and that is why i smoke one cigar at a time"-mark Twain. :D

They do not because even priests and catachists use these books as a way to explain to the children about the bible. It isn't supposed to be all about the magic it's about the caring and the giving.

No its about making kids evil. I knew this guy who knows this guy who has a cousin whos sister-in-law's hairdresser knew this kid, a good christian, but he read the first 3 harry potter books in a day, shat himself and died of cancer, but not before turning his parents into *gasp* JEWS

Funny. Can't even discern when something is written facetiously, as in The Onion.

Well, if you were being serious -- and I hope not -- you've obviously a poor understanding of both history and books you've obviously never read. Christian kings and queens in the past had court astrologers and, on occasion, sorcerors (and no, I don't believe in magic, but the people then did) who would assist them in ruling and saving themselves from plots. Christianity and sorcery have long been linked together in both Europe and in the Americas. And in any case, it's a long stretch from people who celebrate Christmas -- as they obviously do in the Harry Potter books -- to Satan worshipping black mass observing heathens. But obviously not for you.

The bible says that God made people. we didn't come from monkeys. If we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys around? Evilution is wrong.
Look how he spelled evolution...it's mad genius I say! EVILution! Ahaa, haaaa...

Great. After reading that, my brain squeezed out my ear canal, hopped onto the floor, and fled out my front door. Now it's rolling down the street, full bore. And I have to go chase after it now. Wonderful. I hope you're happy.

Funny. Can't even discern when something is written facetiously, as in The Onion.

Well, if you were being serious -- and I hope not -- you've obviously a poor understanding of both history and books you've obviously never read. Christian kings and queens in the past had court astrologers and, on occasion, sorcerors (and no, I don't believe in magic, but the people then did) who would assist them in ruling and saving themselves from plots. Christianity and sorcery have long been linked together in both Europe and in the Americas. And in any case, it's a long stretch from people who celebrate Christmas -- as they obviously do in the Harry Potter books -- to Satan worshipping black mass observing heathens. But obviously not for you.
They were probably catholic idolaters.

The bible says that God made people. we didn't come from monkeys. If we evolved from monkeys then why are there still monkeys around? Evilution is wrong.
We didn't evolve from monkeys, because there still are monkeys. And other apes, and much else besides. Did God kill off all the dinosaurs because they were Satan-worshippers? Maybe he did... Explains a lot.

Look, just the fact that all of Jesussaves' threads get so long, and people take him so seriously should earn this guy the troll of the year award. I nominate him for one.

It sounds like..yet again we have another obsessed Catholic ( or Christian) :headbang: GET OVER IT lol wow...its just a book for kids...

It sounds like..yet again we have another obsessed Catholic ( or Christian) :headbang: GET OVER IT lol wow...its just a book for kids...

Hey, don't call him a Catholic. He's a Christian. What are you, a Jesuit?

This guy's hilarious! But just in case you're being unintentionally funny, no, humans didn't evolve from monkeys, monkeys and humans both evolved from a common ancestor (the so-called Missing Link). THAT's why both are around today.

But you are joking, right?

It sounds like..yet again we have another obsessed Catholic ( or Christian) :headbang: GET OVER IT lol wow...its just a book for kids...
But it's not a book for kids, because it turns them into Satanists!
IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF SOMEBODY TOOK THIS POST SERIOUSLY.

We didn't evolve from monkeys, because there still are monkeys. And other apes, and much else besides. Did God kill off all the dinosaurs because they were Satan-worshippers? Maybe he did... Explains a lot.
The dinosaurs are the bones of demons cast down when lucifer rebelled. Scientists think that their animals but their not.

They were probably catholic idolaters.
Instead of Prod ones?

Nope, both sides (actually more than that, but let's keep things simple) of the ecclesiastical divide went for both.

It sounds like..yet again we have another obsessed Catholic ( or Christian) :headbang: GET OVER IT lol wow...its just a book for kids...
I am a Christian. Catholics worship mary and saints and their pope. they are pagans.

It sounds like..yet again we have another obsessed Catholic ( or Christian) :headbang: GET OVER IT lol wow...its just a book for kids...
You could just have said Chistian you know, us catholics are christians too you know.

The dinosaurs are the bones of demons cast down when lucifer rebelled. Scientists think that their animals but their not.
Whoa, that would be awesome for the plot of an anime!

The dinosaurs are the bones of demons cast down when lucifer rebelled. Scientists think that their animals but their not.
You are my new god. I'm serious. I want to form your church...do I have your permission? You are just so tenacious...I don't know anyone else who could just keep throwing them out like that and getting people to respond...

Instead of Prod ones?

Nope, both sides (actually more than that, but let's keep things simple) of the ecclesiastical divide went for both.
True Christians reject satan and the wiches that follow him.

The dinosaurs are the bones of demons cast down when lucifer rebelled. Scientists think that their animals but their not.
So THEY WERE Satan worshippers! Now this I have to present before an assembled body of scientists!

Wow. Abso-fucking-lutely hilarious. "Can't even spell parrot", teeheeheehee.

They were probably catholic idolaters.
Meh. Jesussaves = Defensor Fidei = Guy with warped sense of humour = genius.
*Nods*

you are a complete idiot. the origin of species isn't even a book, it's an abstract of a scientific journal article, and it is true. they should ban all bibles and burn them, they are completely wronge and full of lies. if anything, prevent children from seeing any christian things. satanism isn't a bad religion anyways, they just worship nature, strength and instincts, a pre-christian thought of satan. wiccan isn't a bad religion either, they worship nature. christianity however is bad, as it's a big bunch of lies leaded by a bunch of money and powerhungry people trying to convince people to convince people to do what they want and follow them by telling them completely false lies. they are a disgrace to any country and should be killed.

But it's not a book for kids, because it turns them into Satanists!
IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF SOMEBODY TOOK THIS POST SERIOUSLY.
It would, wouldn't it.

WRITING IN GIANT INVISIBLE LETTERS IS FUN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

True Christians reject satan and the wiches that follow him.
Who decides what makes a true Christian, God or you?

Well. blow me, I fell hook line and sinker on that one. Kudos for you jesussave. Let it be a lesson to you all: no sleep can really impairs your judgment. I didn't see it clearly before the post 25 or so.

Now all I can do is :D at myself.

The question is, who is more foolish...the fool, or the fool who argues with the fool...or the fool who argues with the fool that argues with the fool, or the fool that...

You get the point.

Hey, some of us are feeding trolls here!

Who decides what makes a true Christian, God or you?
Don't you see he is god!

Meh. Jesussaves = Defensor Fidei = Guy with warped sense of humour = genius.
*Nods*
I don't remember much about Defensor Fidei...was this his game then too, or has he shifted gears?

Who decides what makes a true Christian, God or you?
God does, he told us all in the Bible! Everybody is just interpreting it wrong!
BWAHAHA, THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN.

I suppose these people want to ban the Q'uran as well?

Gee, if they were to ban everything with magic a lot of stuff would have to go, including Lord of the Rings.

Truly sad how religious fanatics can't think for themselves. "Did you like the book?" "I don't know, lemme check mah bible!"

Rowlings' books have gotten children into reading again, not to mention that they tell a wonderful, deep story. A book doesn't have to 100% agree with the Bible to be good.

But yeah, please keep promoting the Harry Potter series with idiot threads like this one. As a Harry Potter fan,

Oh, and whoever wrote that newspaper article is an idiot. Some girl wished she could fly on a broomstick or do some of the neat things Harry Potter can do and some Christian wacko-journalist thought it news-worthy :rolleyes: ?

As for "this is a troll post OMG!".. well, people do actually hate Rowlings' books. So well, what can I say? :D

you are a complete idiot. the origin of species isn't even a book, it's an abstract of a scientific journal article, and it is true. they should ban all bibles and burn them, they are completely wronge and full of lies. if anything, prevent children from seeing any christian things. satanism isn't a bad religion anyways, they just worship nature, strength and instincts, a pre-christian thought of satan. wiccan isn't a bad religion either, they worship nature. christianity however is bad, as it's a big bunch of lies leaded by a bunch of money and powerhungry people trying to convince people to convince people to do what they want and follow them by telling them completely false lies. they are a disgrace to any country and should be killed.
You are very hatefull. I beg you to pray for Jesus to come inot your heart. Even if theirs a demon in you you can get help. I'll pray for you. Please go to a church and get help.

Don't you see he is god!
He's certainly MY god right now...

I don't remember much about Defensor Fidei...was this his game then too, or has he shifted gears?
He's been forumbanned repeatedly. His last incarnation was Servus Dei.

Who decides what makes a true Christian, God or you?
The Bible.

Don't you see he is god!
I've SEEN the light! Praise JESUSSAVE! Or is it "...SAVES". Dear me, I'm a heretic again.

This is really funny that somebody actually fell for this, does The Onion have a story of the year? There should be at least and nominate this, for being the funniest and for one that somebody actually believed! Anyway 99.9? people who are actually interested in the supernatural and in satanism don't turn to Harry Potter as a reference book. This stuff is myth even to those crazy wierdos.

I don't remember much about Defensor Fidei...was this his game then too, or has he shifted gears?
He was a "catholic" who said the pope was a heritic.

It is insane that someone could take such a good and well planned out novel and call it satanism. Harry is a good wizard. No where in the book does it say the devil is awsome and God doesn't exist. I'm sure the author didn't mean it to be taken into this content. The author wrote it to tell a good story. So please stop calling the book satanic.

He's been forumbanned repeatedly. His last incarnation was Servus Dei.
Wasn't Servus Dei the neo-nazi? I'm getting confused...the latin names and all...

But it's not a book for kids, because it turns them into Satanists!
IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF SOMEBODY TOOK THIS POST SERIOUSLY.
*waits for jesussaves to "take it seriously"*

I CAN'T EVEN SPELL PARROT!!!

I suppose these people want to ban the Q'uran as well?

Gee, if they were to ban everything with magic a lot of stuff would have to go, including Lord of the Rings.

Truly sad how religious fanatics can't think for themselves. "Did you like the book?" "I don't know, lemme check mah bible!"

Rowlings' books have gotten children into reading again, not to mention that they tell a wonderful, deep story. A book doesn't have to 100% agree with the Bible to be good.

But yeah, please keep promoting the Harry Potter series with idiot threads like this one. As a Harry Potter fan,

Oh, and whoever wrote that newspaper article is an idiot. Some girl wished she could fly on a broomstick or do some of the neat things Harry Potter can do and some Christian wacko-journalist thought it news-worthy :rolleyes: ?

As for "this is a troll post OMG!".. well, people do actually hate Rowlings' books. So well, what can I say? :D
The qoran was written by a pedofile. It says Jesus isnt our lord and savior. Its a lie.

You are very hatefull. I beg you to pray for Jesus to come inot your heart. Even if theirs a demon in you you can get help. I'll pray for you. Please go to a church and get help. i'm not being hatefull, i'm just thinking more logically than you

I don't remember much about Defensor Fidei...was this his game then too, or has he shifted gears?
Same posting style: Adopt an extreme position. Attack the rest of the world for not sharing it. Confine your responses to brief assertions. Never use logic. Never give up.

Opposing ends of the Christian spectrum is the only difference.

It is insane that someone could take such a good and well planned out novel and call it satanism. Harry is a good wizard. No where in the book does it say the devil is awsome and God doesn't exist. I'm sure the author didn't mean it to be taken into this content. The author wrote it to tell a good story. So please stop calling the book satanic.
Satan made the book seem nice so little kids would read it and turn from God. If it had human sacrifice in it kids wouldnt read it.

SOMEBODY MAKE A THREAD ABOUT JESUSSAVES BEING THE ANTICHRIST. I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS

Satan made the book seem nice so little kids would read it and turn from God. If it had human sacrifice in it kids wouldnt read it.
Hey, I read it and didn't become any less religious or turn from God as a result!

Same posting style: Adopt an extreme position. Attack the rest of the world for not sharing it. Confine your responses to brief assertions. Never use logic. Never give up.

Opposing ends of the Christian spectrum is the only difference.

I don't think this is quite fair. What scraps I saw of Defensor were never so funny.

The question is, who is more foolish...the fool, or the fool who argues with the fool...or the fool who argues with the fool that argues with the fool, or the fool that...

You get the point.
The 4th fool. Definitively the 4th.

Or was it the sixth?

No, the 4th. :)

SOMEBODY MAKE A THREAD ABOUT JESUSSAVES BEING THE ANTICHRIST. I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS
Errr ... would that not be flaming?

Wasn't Servus Dei the neo-nazi? I'm getting confused...the latin names and all...
Sorta. He hated Jews an' all, but he wasn't a Nazi really, it was just that he believed the Bible said they were all evil and should be killed.

I don't think this is quite fair. What scraps I saw of Defensor were never so funny.
Ah, but not as funny as "Bushs ancestors tried to shift the earths axis by directing a ray thru a crystal to the center of the earth!"

What's with all the empty posts last page?

Hey, what's with the blank posts? Tribes of Longton, you have one on this thread. Is there supposed to be something there?

I don't think this is quite fair. What scraps I saw of Defensor were never so funny.
I know. He's found a better incarnation.

What's with all the empty posts last page?
THEY AREN'T EMPTY!!!

You know who hides messages in blank posts, dontcha?

Satanists. That's who.

Also, in rock music.

Hey, what's with the blank posts? Tribes of Longton, you have one on this thread. Is there supposed to be something there?
I have more than one post. Honest. *looks around, innocently*

*runs*

THEY AREN'T EMPTY!!!
WOW! THAT ROCKS!

Congrats, you've made my IGNORE list!

Thats REARLY mature!

You know who hides messages in blank posts, dontcha?

Satanists. That's who.

Also, in rock music.
Well nobody at the my grotto told me anything about blank posts. Am I being left out for a reason?

Also, in rock music.
Don't forget teh evil Disney!

Well nobody at the my grotto told me anything about blank posts. Am I being left out for a reason?
Yes.

I sence the Devil using his patented "White Ink tm"

Where did Jesussaves go? JESUSSAVES I WANT TO HAVE YOUR ILLEGITIMATE LOVE CHILD!!!! COME BACK!!!!

Thats REARLY mature!

I don't care what you think, you can't even spell rarely. :D

Man, this guy's getting famous for posting stuff people would otherwise be offended by... damn, wish I thought of that. Give this guy an award or something, the whole christian gig is really origanal!

Well nobody at the my grotto told me anything about blank posts. Am I being left out for a reason?
What's the my grotto? Am I being left out of something?

Meh. Jesussaves = Defensor Fidei = Guy with warped sense of humour = genius.
*Nods*
I'm pretty sure not. Jesussaves just doesn't have the same tone as Defensor Fidei. Meaning he hasn't said anything about Jorge Boosh yet. It matters not, for whomever he may be speaks the will of our lord.
Now excuse me I have to go perform the satanic bloodrights I learned from Harry Potter

I don't care what you think, you can't even spell rarely. :D
pfft. coming from someone who cant spell parrot

What's the my grotto? Am I being left out of something?
Are you affiliated with the church? If you were you would know.

pfft. coming from someone who cant spell parrot

QUIT BEING SMART ALECKS AND POST NORMALLY!

I made a sig!! Nadkor fucking rules!!!

QUIT BEING SMART ALECKS AND POST NORMALLY!
that annoying eh?

ok then

Are you affiliated with the church? If you were you would know.
You confuse me, and make me sad. *shuffles off to sit in the garden, to eat worms yum, yum*

I made a sig!! Nadkor fucking rules!!!
its the funniest thing ive read in a long time, and you had a hand in its making.

QUIT BEING SMART ALECKS AND POST NORMALLY!

SORRY

You confuse me, and make me sad. *shuffles off to sit in the garden, to eat worms yum, yum*
It's a church of satan thing. You wouldn't understand.

Jesus saves, while everybody else takes full damage
(or however that saying goes)

its the funniest thing ive read in a long time, and you had a hand in its making.

I like seeing my own posts.

You are officially ignored by Green Sun. I'm not going to believe this unless you can supply a real link. A REAL link, not some bullshit some asshole Baptist made up.

Jesus saves, while everybody else takes full damage
(or however that saying goes)

That's because Jesus rolls 20s.

An article from a major newspaper was emailed to me yesterday. It says that Harry Potter books cause satanism. Here's what the article said.


Lock Haven PA- Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third grader at Lock Haven Elementary school, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, and of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history. And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals. "I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School" said Ashley, conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies."



The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.

The Necronomicon!? :D

This joke's getting old; who the hell are you?

Come on, it's time for your scooby-doo unmasking.

I like seeing my own posts.
like one of those kids in school who asked stupid questions just to hear their own voices?

SORRY


I'm actually kind of enjoying it. Keep it up, says I!

Copy of The Onion Article:

Article (http://www.elektron.pl/ks-jacek/Harry%20Potter%20Books%20Spark%20Rise%20In%20Satanism%20Among%20Children.htm)

I'm sorry I'm a little late on this thread. But the kids in these pictures look like they were hijacked from a birthday party somewhere and payed 5 bucks to pose for this picture. Puhlease. And if anyone believes it, then report to your nearest country barn.

I'm actually kind of enjoying it. Keep it up, says I!
I really want to be there when Jesussaves reveals himself...

You are so going to get your ass locked down...

. . . asshole Baptist . . .

Wow. That's like saying "redundant redundancy" isn't it?

I'm sorry I'm a little late on this thread. But the kids in these pictures look like they were hijacked from a birthday party somewhere and payed 5 bucks to pose for this picture. Puhlease. And if anyone believes it, then report to your nearest country barn.
Err, you do know what The Onion is, right?
It's a parody.

I'm actually kind of enjoying it. Keep it up, says I!





























CAN DO

I'm sorry I'm a little late on this thread. But the kids in these pictures look like they were hijacked from a birthday party somewhere and payed 5 bucks to pose for this picture. Puhlease. And if anyone believes it, then report to your nearest country barn.
pssst. The Onion is a parody. None of their stories are real.

CAN DO
Hey, where did Jesussaves go anyway?
This subliminal thing is getting old. Fast.

Err, you do know what The Onion is, right?
It's a parody.

Yes, of course I know. I'm not a moron. I'm sorry Neo-Anarchists, that was rude of me, I actually do know, but thanks for asking.

You are very hatefull. I beg you to pray for Jesus to come inot your heart. Even if theirs a demon in you you can get help. I'll pray for you. Please go to a church and get help.
Praying for someone without their permission is the same as doing anything on their behalf without their permission. Get a grip on yourself and learn some bloody manners. Isn't that The Christian way of doing things? :p

The dinosaurs are the bones of demons cast down when lucifer rebelled. Scientists think that their animals but their not.
Oh .. dear .. effing ... bloody ... *chokes and dies of laughter*

PS The Onion RULES! Funniest satirical newsprint EVER!

Hey, where did Jesussaves go anyway?
This subliminal thing is getting old. Fast.

I think he ran out of fresh material.

Aren't we all....Aren't we all.

Yes, of course I know. I'm not a moron. I'm sorry Neo-Anarchists, that was rude of me, I actually do know, but thanks for asking.
Too bad Jesussaves hasn't figured that out yet

Praying for someone without their permission is the same as doing anything on their behalf without their permission. Get a grip on yourself and learn some bloody manners. Isn't that The Christian way of doing things? :p


Oh .. dear .. effing ... bloody ... *chokes and dies of laughter*

PS The Onion RULES! Funniest satirical newsprint EVER!
Praying for some body is one of the nicest things you can do for him. Whats wrong with you? Are you an athiest or some thing?

Ooh, subliminal-ly
This is not a post.

*wants to worship Jesussaves but is already worshipping jack chick*

My official eclesiastical position on this is...

Well of course Harry Potter inspires satanism, he IS satan, and so are books, books are the works of satan, as is ink, and chickens, AND CHEESE!!!!

Jesussaves is just trying to convert you to satanism through reverse psychology... you must stop him by pelting him with sponges of holiness (+15)

Praying for someone without their permission is the same as doing anything on their behalf without their permission. Get a grip on yourself and learn some bloody manners. Isn't that The Christian way of doing things? :p


Oh .. dear .. effing ... bloody ... *chokes and dies of laughter*

PS The Onion RULES! Funniest satirical newsprint EVER!
I'll pray that you find Jesus and ask him into your life.

Anyway, what's wrong with being an athiest?

I'll pray that you find Jesus and ask him into your life.
And i pray you find Jck Chick and let him into your life

*prays SO much better than you*

An article from a major newspaper was emailed to me yesterday. It says that Harry Potter books cause satanism. Here's what the article said.


Lock Haven PA- Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third grader at Lock Haven Elementary school, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, and of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history. And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals. "I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School" said Ashley, conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies."



The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.


1. Source.

2. "And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path."

a) She has every right to. It's called freedom of religion.
b) How do you know she didn't do this before? This is the typical Christian propaganda.

3. "'I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School' said Ashley... 'But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies.'"

I used to believe what I was taught in Sunday School (I never went, but I went to a Catholic elementary school), but then I opened my eyes and mind, and realized this too. I didn't need help from a book.

4. "conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell."

Yea, right.

5. "The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible,"

So? They're discovering another side of looking at things. That's called having an open mind.

6. "and the origin of species."

Yes, it is too good for thoes Christians to read. Too bad, really. It would really make you educated.

7. "Also satanic groups are getting new members."

Maybe because in recent years, people have actually stood up and told the Christians to shut the hell up, because people have freedom of religion (remember that?). With the fear of retribution from idiots removed, people are more likely to explore the world around them. (It's that open-mindedness again.)

8. "One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins."

a) Yes, young people tend to be virgins. This is an erronious statement used just for the shock value to the reader.
b) Why can't the Satanists brag? They have every right to, with the Christians always forcing people away from it. I say good job to the Satanists (I hope this is refering to The Church of Satan, not the BS fake worshiping the Christian devil crap). If you were actually bothered to learn about this religion, you'd see two things: 1) It teaches respect for life and nature, and yourself, and 2) It teaches opening yourself to new ideas. Both of thoes are things the Christians should really focus on.

My analysis-rant is done. Thank you for reading.

Oh, and P.S.: Please tell me how my IGNORE cannon feels.

Anyway, what's wrong with being an athiest?
The spelling.
:D

I was over super-power's house in that place in his side-bit and he told me to have chicken.

I'll pray that you find Jesus
why, have you lost him?

praying is a waste of rime just like sleep and food

why, have you lost him?

They did 2000 years ago. Since then, the Church has been a waste of time.

P.S. The sig is jokes!

1. Source.
-snip-
S'okay, it was a copy and paste from The Onion.

I think he ran out of fresh material.

Aren't we all....Aren't we all.

It must be hard to keep that act up...
Yes, yes we are.

why, have you lost him?
Ouch thats an old one, old jokes are also the work of satan

1000th POST

I was over super-power's house in that place in his side-bit and he told me to have chicken.
ROFL

S'okay, it was a copy and paste from The Onion.

Oh, ok. I didn't read much after, and he did say it was from "a national newspaper".

Ouch thats an old one, old jokes are also the work of satan
well, you know, someone had to say it, thought i may as well save you the bother

Jesus!

Whoa, whoa... Someone has actually found Jesus? Call the networks, this is international stuff!

Didn't you state before in another thread that if one had sinned enough there would be no turning back? What would be the point of "finding Jesus" in that case, if you're still going to hell for the "sins" you've comitted?

Also, even if you claim that 'there is always time to find Jesus and gain forgiveness', why not just live a full life in sin and enjoy beer, good food and expensive hookers all you want until you face your demise, when you ask the Lord Almighty (or whatever) to forgive and embrace you, since forgiveness is supposed to be divine and all that?

Better yet, if you want to be compeltely sure, always carry a signed paper around you that reads: "Upon my demise, weather I be prepared for it or not, I ask that the Lord and Jesus and all their friends up in heaven forgive me and let me join the party", and never worry about it.

I hope that you will one day realize the extent of your stupidity.

Jesus!
NO!, Jesus is the work of satan too...

...

The Church of Chick is becoming dificult to live by.

Saves!

He's right, if you read the book backards it says 'God is uncool'

Jesus!

Saves!

EDIT: Son of a bitch! I'll start a new one.


JESUS!

Saves!
pity you were a minute too late :p

He's right, if you read the book backards it says 'God is uncool'
However if you play the tapes backwards you merely hear Greg Dykes voice saying:

"You are under the power of Greg Dyke... you will jion the armies of the BBC"

In there before you. If only it weren't for the Emperor Fenix...

Ok, I think Harry Potter is a crappy book and all.... but this is just stupid. It's fiction... children's fiction, there is nothing EVIL about it. Or the Origin of Species for that matter. And where in Harry Potter is there any anti-biblical content?????? What a load of rubbish.....

All of the flamebait contained in your posts is so base, and are deserving to belong in a Lock from the M0ds, to J0lt some sense back into us

Saves!
Quit sullying my hallowed outbursts with your paltry jokes. :p

Anyway, whenever you're driving and see a Jesus fish on someone's car, you're supposed to yell out Jesus really loud. No real point to it, and it confuses the hell out of any passengers in the car with you, but fun as hell to do.

Saves!

EDIT: Son of a bitch! I'll start a new one.


JESUS!
Saves!

Praying for some body is one of the nicest things you can do for him. Whats wrong with you? Are you an athiest or some thing?
Yeah, it would be if you okayed it with him. I've slapped people for praying for me without making sure it was okay first. I am no longer a Christian, after several years of hard debate with myself I realised I can't follow such a hypocritical faith that is so full of anger and hatred. I don't believe there is no god or gods (it would take too long to explain my beliefs and you probably wouldn't understand anyway), I just don't subscribe to the Christian methodology. My point is, if anyone were to make, for example, legal representations or a doctor's appointment for me without my permission, I would be livid. The same thing goes for prayer. You are making representation or asking for intercession on the behalf of a person from a higher power/authority. To me, this is a violation of privacy if done without permission.

PS I know that came off as very bitchy and various other unpleasant adjectives. I'd just like to highlight I don't care. People like you irritate me. And "People like you" covers both possibilities - troll or bible-basher. :sniper:

All of the flamebait contained in your posts is so base, and are deserving to belong in a Lock from the M0ds, to J0lt some sense back into us
:D

Someone, please tell me how to set my video up. If it were not for us, the neutron would not be da bomb

1. Source.

2. "And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path."

a) She has every right to. It's called freedom of religion.
b) How do you know she didn't do this before? This is the typical Christian propaganda.

3. "'I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School' said Ashley... 'But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies.'"

I used to believe what I was taught in Sunday School (I never went, but I went to a Catholic elementary school), but then I opened my eyes and mind, and realized this too. I didn't need help from a book.

4. "conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell."

Yea, right.

5. "The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible,"

So? They're discovering another side of looking at things. That's called having an open mind.

6. "and the origin of species."

Yes, it is too good for thoes Christians to read. Too bad, really. It would really make you educated.

7. "Also satanic groups are getting new members."

Maybe because in recent years, people have actually stood up and told the Christians to shut the hell up, because people have freedom of religion (remember that?). With the fear of retribution from idiots removed, people are more likely to explore the world around them. (It's that open-mindedness again.)

8. "One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins."

a) Yes, young people tend to be virgins. This is an erronious statement used just for the shock value to the reader.
b) Why can't the Satanists brag? They have every right to, with the Christians always forcing people away from it. I say good job to the Satanists (I hope this is refering to The Church of Satan, not the BS fake worshiping the Christian devil crap). If you were actually bothered to learn about this religion, you'd see two things: 1) It teaches respect for life and nature, and yourself, and 2) It teaches opening yourself to new ideas. Both of thoes are things the Christians should really focus on.

My analysis-rant is done. Thank you for reading.

Oh, and P.S.: Please tell me how my IGNORE cannon feels.


wow.... i went on to this thread to say something similar (except i would not have used so many big words and it would probably sound pathetic if i said it.)but i agree entirely religeons like christianity are the reason that weird extreemist zeolots exist.its those kind of people who declare "holy wars"
and murder hundreds in the name of 12 guys in the year 10 bc who went around killing anyone who did not beleive what they said (thats how christianity started, if not that something bloody simmilar) religeon is an excuse for bigoted little shitlickers to atack anyone who takes a logical and sceintific look on life. i dont normally agree with newage religeons and that kind of stuff but they do often teach respect for life and nature.


Edit>
P.S Harry potter books suck ass

This just in:

http://www.freejesus.net/hell_is_real_big.gif
source: http://www.freejesus.net/salvation.php

Yeah, it would be if you okayed it with him. I've slapped people for praying for me without making sure it was okay first. I am no longer a Christian, after several years of hard debate with myself I realised I can't follow such a hypocritical faith that is so full of anger and hatred. I don't believe there is no god or gods (it would take too long to explain my beliefs and you probably wouldn't understand anyway), I just don't subscribe to the Christian methodology. My point is, if anyone were to make, for example, legal representations or a doctor's appointment for me without my permission, I would be livid. The same thing goes for prayer. You are making representation or asking for intercession on the behalf of a person from a higher power/authority. To me, this is a violation of privacy if done without permission.

PS I know that came off as very bitchy and various other unpleasant adjectives. I'd just like to highlight I don't care. People like you irritate me. And "People like you" covers both possibilities - troll or bible-basher. :sniper:You seem full of anger and hatred your self. Maybe it wasn't Christianity that bothered you. Maybe you are posesed. I'll have to pray twice as hard for you.

This just in:

http://www.freejesus.net/hell_is_real_big.gif
source: http://www.freejesus.net/salvation.php
But Jack Chick controls hell, and youre all going there.

I'll pray that you find Jesus and ask him into your life.

And I'll pray you get hit by a semi.

Someone, please tell me how to set my video up. If it were not for us, the neutron would not be da bomb
Move off, fool. This zig-zagging line is here for a great, mysterious purpose. Let us seek justice.

This just in:

http://www.freejesus.net/hell_is_real_big.gif
source: http://www.freejesus.net/salvation.php
Well Duh. Didn't you ever play Doom?

wow.... i went on to this thread to say something similar (except i would not have used so many big words and it would probably sound pathetic if i said it.)but i agree entirely religeons like christianity are the reason that weird extreemist zeolots exist.its those kind of people who declare "holy wars"
and murder hundreds in the name of 12 guys in the year 10 bc who went around killing anyone who did not beleive what they said (thats how christianity started, if not that something bloody simmilar) religeon is an excuse for bigoted little shitlickers to atack anyone who takes a logical and sceintific look on life. i dont normally agree with newage religeons and that kind of stuff but they do often teach respect for life and nature.
So you dont have religion? Why arent you out stealing or killing or sodomizing?

Someone, please tell me how to set my video up. If it were not for us, the neutron would not be da bomb
alright this is becoming too silly, stop right there.
Cue in the next sketch...
And no more silliness.

And now for something completely different, the color white.

the color white

Hey guys,

I think Jesussaves is a parody.

Am I right or am I wrong?
Jesussaves is either the truest of the dogmatic idiots or the most intoit parody EVER!!!

Move off, fool. This zig-zagging line is here for a great, mysterious purpose. Let us seek justice.
What is it that you and the other posters are trying to say to Jesussaves?!

Cats? Is that you?

And I'll pray you get hit by a semi.

If he does get hit by a semi, I am coming for you.

Jesussaves Saves!

And I'll pray you get hit by a semi.
i never knew what a semi was until someone asked me the other day if i could jump one

now i know

Jesussaves is either the truest of the dogmatic idiots or the most intoit parody EVER!!!

Don't you mean intoit parrot ever?

So you dont have religion? Why arent you out stealing or killing or sodomizing?
i cant speak for him, but im tired from all the killing, stealing and sodomising i did earlier

i never knew what a semi was until someone asked me the other day if i could jump one

now i know

It has another meaning, but I don't think that poster was using it.

Or was he???

So you dont have religion? Why arent you out stealing or killing or sodomizing?

because you binle bashing s.o.b
i am civililized.
in the crusades how many frigin rapes and murder were their? all in the name of fekin christ

Cats? Is that you?
You seem confused, I think you have had no chance to rest for a while. Take a nap, it will help you survive, it will make your life so much easier, and it won't take much time.

It has another meaning, but I don't think that poster was using it.

Or was he???
i dont know...if theres another meaning then thats not what i was asked if i could jump...

that sentence barely makes sense doesnt it?

because you binle bashing s.o.b
i am civililized.
in the crusades how many frigin rapes and murder were their? all in the name of fekin christ
binle?

Semis rock. And in fact, hows about an articulated lorry? Sixteen-wheeler? Crushed under each individual wheel? Anyone with me here?

alright this is becoming too silly, stop right there.
Cue in the next sketch...
And no more silliness.

And now for something completely different, the color white.

the color white
*minces in formation with regiment*

alright this is becoming too silly, stop right there.
Cue in the next sketch...
And no more silliness.

And now for something completely different, the color white.

the color white

im a luberjack and im all right

because you binle bashing s.o.b
i am civililized.
in the crusades how many frigin rapes and murder were their? all in the name of fekin christ
Urgh, seriously, dont take this seriously and dont censor yourself.

I say water causes witchcraft, and I can prove it.

1.) People need water to live, without it, they die.
2.) Witches are people.
thus, logically...
3.) Witches need water to live.
thus, logically...
4.) Water causes witchcraft.

You seem confused, I think you have had no chance to rest for a while. Take a nap, it will help you survive, it will make your life so much easier, and it won't take much time.
You obviously know Jesussaves, and what he's up to, you sly dog - I'm doing fine myself!

binle?

commie? what the fuk is binle?

I entirely agree Harry Potter books should be banned from schools and homes on the basis of being inferior literature geared to raising ignorant consumerist immediate gratification addicted morons. As to whether they choose to take up Satanic rites or not, thats really their business. Worship Satan all you like, I say, you're privilege.

And for all those of you who have labelled religion as the root of all evils: Of Course!!! It's now obvious to everyone that all Christians are ignorant immoral animals bent on infringing on your liberties for the purpose of gaining wealth and power. They conspire with Islam to bring terrorism to the world and whisper in your heads at night so you will allow your civil rights to be taken in the name of security.

*minces in formation with regiment*

*minces too*

It has another meaning, but I don't think that poster was using it.

Or was he???
Um. I meant a truck. What other meaning were you thinking of? :confused:

I say water causes witchcraft, and I can prove it.

1.) People need water to live, without it, they die.
2.) Witches are people.
thus, logically...
3.) Witches need water to live.
thus, logically...
4.) Water causes witchcraft.

ITS TRUE!!!

Logic = the work of satan
Truth = the work of god

That has no logic in it therefore it is not the work of satan and therefore thre work of god and therefore TRUE

I SHALL DRINK NO MORE WATER !!!

ITS TRUE!!!

Logic = the work of satan
Truth = the work of god

That has no logic in it therefore it is not the work of satan and therefore thre work of god and therefore TRUE

I SHALL DRINK NO MORE WATER !!!
A-men brother.

commie? what the fuk is binle?
I was asking you. You posted it.

Urgh, seriously, dont take this seriously and dont censor yourself.

o.k
(calm jacomus be calm let the all the rage flow out).
there thats better :D

THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES IS A BOOK OF LIES! IT SAYS THE BIBLE IS FAKE

what is wrong with you? the fact that you tried to pass off an 'onion' article as real life is the first red flag on this thread. did somebody beat religion into you as a child? i can respect people who are very religious, but you're just being ridiculous.

You obviously know Jesussaves, and what he's up to, you sly dog - I'm doing fine myself!
Hmm? What is it you are expounding on, again? Have you lost the thread of the conversation, lost your way in the shady forest path of your mind, leading to Truth? You could cause much destruction.

After Reading all the harry potter books, I have the sudden urge to go warship Satin, Cut satinist symbols into my body, live in a graveyard, and curse people with my magic powers before summoning an evil evolutionist army of the dead. I hope your happy.

I was asking you. You posted it.

so i did. i owe you a coke. i missed the b it was meant to be bible
1 to many ns and 1 to few bs me thinks

History is always said to have been written by the winner. In many cases it is distorted to appease what Noam Chomsky calls the worlds second superpower, or peoples morals.

Now, let us suppose that Satan truely defeated god and banished him below. Satan now preaches absolute blindness and disregard for others. He wishes for his people to spread the word of Satan, and to recruit more to his power. People are to pray to the Devil daily, and they are to follow blindly in his wake, like sheep. They must convert all non-believers to his cause. The devils cause is the only true cause.

Now let us also suppose that the original god was all about peace and love for nature that he truely created. However, because he lost, he has been renamed as Satan, and Satan as God.

There you have it, I just bullshitted my way into explaining how Jesussaves worships the devil.

An article from a major newspaper was emailed to me yesterday. It says that Harry Potter books cause satanism. Here's what the article said.


Lock Haven PA- Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third grader at Lock Haven Elementary school, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, and of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history. And like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by thestrange occult doings at the Hogwarts Schoool of Witchcraft and Wizardryto pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals. "I used to beleive in what they taught us at Sunday School" said Ashley, conjuring up and ancient spell to summon Cereberus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that The Bible is nothing but boring lies."



The article also has a teacher who says her kids started reading Harry Potter and now have read the seven scrolls of the black rose, the necronomicon, the satanic bible, and the origin of species. Also satanic groups are getting new members. One of the satanists bragged that all the new members they get from harry potter were virgins.

These books are sick. They need to be taken out of the libraries and classrooms.
Major newspaper being? Not many major newspapers mess up "and" and "an" either. As well as lacking spaces in several areas and failing to capitalize proper names. Congratulations, you fail at forgery. You also lack any concept of Satanism, since a Satanist doesn't brag about new members being virgin.

You should be shot for being such a dumbass.

so i did. i owe you a coke. i missed the b it was meant to be bible
1 to many ns and 1 to few bs me thinks
Oh, Ok. No coke for me though. Thanks, but I quit that stuff a few years ago.

After Reading all the harry potter books, I have the sudden urge to go warship Satin, Cut satinist symbols into my body, live in a graveyard, and curse people with my magic powers before summoning an evil evolutionist army of the dead. I hope your happy.
Why are we worshipping a fabric, again?

This just in:

http://www.freejesus.net/hell_is_real_big.gif
source: http://www.freejesus.net/salvation.php
And I'm living in it...

After Reading all the harry potter books, I have the sudden urge to go warship Satin, Cut satinist symbols into my body, live in a graveyard, and curse people with my magic powers before summoning an evil evolutionist army of the dead. I hope your happy.
Why the hell would you want to worship satin?

http://www.fabrics.net/amysatin.asp

i to have these satanic urges.
i am off to bathe in blood. toodles :D

Why the hell would you want to worship satin?

http://www.fabrics.net/amysatin.asp
I'm a silk man, me...

[snip]
You should be shot for being such a dumbass.
oh the irony...

Oh, Ok. No coke for me though. Thanks, but I quit that stuff a few years ago.
so did i. i prefer water and the ocasional whiskey

There you have it, I just bullshitted my way into explaining how Jesussaves worships the devil.
Or you could have just said that Jack Chick is god, and therefore Jesussaves worships the devil, as Jack Chick teaches us just about everyone is secretly worshipping the devil.

"The intense occult training through D&D prepared Debbie to accept the invitation to a witches coven"

i to have these satanic urges.
i am off to bathe in blood. toodles :D
Not in here you don't. You know how many goats I had to slaughter for that one tub? Whatever they might say, this Satanism schtick ain't slothful!

Hmm? What is it you are expounding on, again? Have you lost the thread of the conversation, lost your way in the shady forest path of your mind, leading to Truth? You could cause much destruction.

when i first saw your posts, i thought, 'what are they talking about?' then i just realized that you two have been set in your own conversation, at least up until this point when i joined, making the 'you' a 'us.' i think you guys are the bomb. ;)

The main idea for this thread is to screen out the legitimate posts, turn them over to the authorities and go on with out lives

anyone here know what t.n.a stands for?

when i first saw your posts, i thought, 'what are they talking about?' then i just realized that you two have been set in your own conversation, at least up until this point when i joined, making the 'you' a 'us.' i think you guys are the bomb. ;)
Allalreadyyourdidbasethatareone,belonglooktoupus!

Oh Man, this is so funny I can't believe it. Jesussaves is the greates comedian going because he uses such classic stuff. Evilution, parrot. Hilarious.

anyone here know what t.n.a stands for?
Tits and Ass?

Allalreadyyourdidbasethatareone,belonglooktoupus!

i abase myself before you.

"The Bible is nothing but boring lies."

For a nine year old, this girl is remarkably perceptive. She has found the truth where thousands of adult religious fundamentalists have not.

Originally, I was determined not to reply so as not to encourage you to continue to troll, but I laughed so much that I truly hope you continue to write posts like this one. As much as I hate to give it, you deserve credit for a legitimately-funny thread.

I wrote the above while listening to a Tribute to the Greatest Song in the World.

*puts on his asbestos suit*

Hey, Jesussaves. Which book have more people killed in the name of?

Harry Potter, or the Bible?

Seriously this Jesussaves guy is hilarious! He should do a stand up where he rants and raves at the crowd.

*puts on his asbestos suit*

Hey, Jesussaves. Which book have more people killed in the name of?

Harry Potter, or the Bible?
Harry Potter of couse! ;)

Shazam! It's all because of the magic... (http://www.basehead.org/files/shots/1-blaineboavid1024.jpg)

For a nine year old, this girl is remarkably perceptive. She has found the truth where thousands of adult religious fundamentalists have not.

lol :p and yea i think a standup routine would be a riot except he/she'd be serious and while everyone was laughing their asses off he/she'd be like "what's so funny?" haha

Seriously this Jesussaves guy is hilarious! He should do a stand up where he rants and raves at the crowd.
And when someone heckles him Jesussaves can threaten to pray for him.

I have to seriously question the sanity of anyone who takes Jesussaves seriously. Have any of you actually met a Christian who thought the Onion was a reputable source? Or actually claimed the outlandish, lunatic things he/she/it does? Probably not. If you have, I am amazed, but I have been a Christian for a long, long time now and have never met anyone as much like a faux-Christian Jessica Simpson impersonator as that character. I think it is a clever satire, and you are rather credulous pawns in he/she/its little game.

Seriously this Jesussaves guy is hilarious! He should do a stand up where he rants and raves at the crowd.

Someone just told me in the moderation forum that Jesussaves was made up by someone to try and embarrass Christians.

Hi again, Pyromanstahn.

I have to seriously question the sanity of anyone who takes Jesussaves seriously. Have any of you actually met a Christian who thought the Onion was a reputable source? Or actually claimed the outlandish, lunatic things he/she/it does? Probably not. If you have, I am amazed, but I have been a Christian for a long, long time now and have never met anyone as much like a faux-Christian Jessica Simpson as that character. I think it is a clever satire, and you are rather credulous pawns in he/she/its little game.

Yes-it was this guy/girl that told me.

I'm actually quite disappointed that Jesussaves isn't a real person. As an anti-Christian I enjoyed seeing Christians be made to look intolerant, but now this person has made anti-Christians look intolerant.

Originally Posted by Jesussaves:
The Bible is nothing but boring lies.
:eek:

And when someone heckles him Jesussaves can threaten to pray for him.
*laughs*
I like this plan! The world can always use more humor.

I think it's sort of neat! You can't ban the books, though they are bad...

I'm actually quite disappointed that Jesussaves isn't a real person. As an anti-Christian I enjoyed seeing Christians be made to look intolerant, but now this person has made anti-Christians look intolerant.
Being anti-anything makes you look intolerant. Not always a bad thing, for instance it is fine to be intolerant of homicidal maniacs, but you can still be nice to them. In the same way, if you actually sit down and talk with (or stand up and talk with) most Christians, you'll find that though they have strong opinions, they usually aren't the intolerant fools some would make them out to be. Except Fred Phelps, but hey, even atheists and anti-Christians have their bad apples too. Usually they are just misguided, and sometimes they even mean well.

You know what Harry Potter is? Fiction. If people can't handle it there's no reason to ban them. Same reason Beavis & Butthead should not have been banned. Anyone who thinks the Harry Potter books are more than just fiction need to seriously rethink their meaningless lives.
Beavis & Butthead were banned? I always thought the creators just couldn't come up with more stuff.