NationStates Jolt Archive

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the
food will swim by, you might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the
nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the
US, you might live in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
you might live in New England

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of
the year, you might live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and
they don't work there, you might live in New England.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in New England.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might
live in New England.

If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in New
England.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong number, you might live in New England.



YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going South past New York City for the
weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and
back again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend /
wife knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

15. Down South to you means Philadelphia.

16. A brat is something you eat.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

18. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

21. You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

Here, I'll help you out.

You Might be from Boston if...
1. You think of Philadelphia as the Midwest.

2. You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.

3. You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).

4. You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.

5. All your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins players.

6. You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."

7. Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry mood.

8. You don't think you have an attitude.

9. You always 'bang a left' as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

10. Everything in town is "a five minute walk."

11. When out of town, you think the natives of the area are all whacked.

12. You still can't bear to watch highlights from game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

13. You have no idea what the word compromise means.

14. You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.

15. You don't realize that you walk and talk twice as fast as everyone else.

16. You're anal, neurotic, pessimistic & stubborn.

17. You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something, or are from out of town.

18. Your favorite adjective is "wicked."

19. You think 63 degree ocean water is warm.

20. You think the Kennedy's are misunderstood.

How To Tell You Are From Massachusetts....

1. The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.

2. The fact that Routes 128 and 95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you.

3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a coke... not water with bubbles.

4. You can navigate a rotary without a problem.

5. You almost feel insulted when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off, or steal their parking space, etc.

6. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill and Cotuit

7. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer

8. You know that there are two Bulger brothers (both are crooks.. but, you know there are two)

9. You have been to Fenway Park

10. You knew that there was no chance in Hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford (Ha! Ha!)

11. You laugh at all of the other states in New England

12. You know of at least 1 diner or food vendor to get something to eat after last call

13. You can actually find your way around Boston

14. You have spent at least 1 weekend at UMass

15. The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools

16. You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's Bitches or something worse

17. Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (i.e., Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts. (actual directions).

18. Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever

19. Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday

20. You know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat, White, Red, O.B. or Seamus

21. You think the rest of the country owes you for having things like Thanksgiving and independence.

22. As a kid you laughed at the kids down south who never got to have 'snow days'

23. You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you

24. The Beanpot is a hockey tournament not a serving container

25. You take great pride in Cheers

26. You can recognize a Revere girl simply by looking at her hair

27. You know exactly where you were when Buckner missed the ball

28. You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction

29. Somebody calls you a Masshole and you take it as a compliment.

And, the final and most prominent way to know that you are from Massachusetts...

30. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of speech