NationStates Jolt Archive

Source (http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4107&n=1)

BURLINGTON, VT—Ben & Jerry's, the Vermont-based ice-cream manufacturer known for its progressive social mission, held a press conference Monday to introduce a new flavor celebrating Academy Award winner Michael Moore.

"I'm really excited to announce the newest Ben & Jerry's ice-cream flavor," said Chrystie Heimert, Ben & Jerry's director of public relations. "In the spirit of Michael Moore's tasteful, playful calls for justice, we have created a tasteful, playful flavor: The Waffle Truth."

The Waffle Truth will honor the dynamic visionary by combining premium vanilla ice cream with strawberries, chocolate-covered waffle-cone bits, and a hint of cinnamon. The ice cream will be available in Ben & Jerry's Scoop Shops Friday, followed by a retail rollout in March.

"Making an ice-cream flavor that would do justice to such an important author and filmmaker wasn't easy," Heimert said. "We knew we'd be using ingredients bought at fair-market prices, but exactly what those ingredients would be was a source of a lot of good old-fashioned, honest, open debate."

Heimert said developers experimented with a host of possible ice-cream tributes to the best-selling author, including Stupid White Chocolate, Green Tea Nation, and Dude, Where's My Coconut?

Even after Ben & Jerry's decided what the new flavor would contain, developers struggled to perfect the name.

"We thought about calling it Cherry-heit 9-11, but we already have Cherry Garcia," Heimert said. "Fahrenheit 31.1 was the next choice, but we didn't think everyone would make the connection between the proper temperature for storing ice cream and the film that broke the theatrical documentary box-office record by seamlessly blending comedy with hard-hitting fact."

"We also considered a name reminiscent of our our popular Chubby Hubby flavor," Heimert said. "But in the end, we decided The Waffle Truth would be more respectful to Moore's achievements than a flavor called Hefty Lefty."

Ben & Jerry's has previously honored pop-culture icons Phish and Jerry Garcia, as well as the TV show Seinfeld. This is the first time that the company has honored a director.


Above: Sean Hannity blasts The Waffle Truth as "candy-coated, liberal fluff."
"Michael Moore's David-and-Goliath commentaries cut conservative bigwigs down to size,"Heimert said. "He follows the beat of his own drummer and works in his own unique way to improve the average American's life. Our choice was a natural—just like our ice cream: We use only fresh milk and cream bought from farmers that have pledged never to use recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone."

Added Heimert: "We believe that Michael will remain an important voice in American politics, and that we will find no need to discontinue The Waffle Truth, as we did Wavy Gravy, Doonesberry Sorbet, and Dilbert's World Totally Nuts."

The Emmy Award winner made a surprise appearance at the Ben & Jerry's Scoop Shop in Times Square to support the product.

"I'm honored Ben & Jerry's decided to dedicate an ice cream to me," Moore told the excited crowd. "It's a fantastic company with a great track record of treating their employees fairly and using only ethically produced ingredients."

"Plus, a lifetime supply of ice cream sounds pretty good," Moore added, patting his stomach with a self-deprecating laugh.

According to Ben & Jerry's press materials, The Waffle Truth rollout will include a nationwide tour by the company's promotional ice-cream wagon. The tour will begin its journey in Flint, MI and continue south to distribute free pints of ice cream in 14 Rust Belt cities suffering from post-industrial decline.

Other Ben & Jerry's flavors slated for introduction in 2005 are Praline Kael, Noam ChompChompsky Crunch, Ché Guava, and Nelson Vanilla, an anti-apartheid flavor that consists of a dark-chocolate sorbet swirled in an equal amount of vanilla ice cream.
I gotta get me some of this 'Waffle Truth'

Shit, I nearly spat out my water all over the keyboard...put a warning on these threads!

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

Michael Moore is a joke. I only hope he keeps up his dribble, it is an excellent tool for the right to discredit its competition.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.
er...

its not a true story

ANd people wonder why i hate idiots. hmm

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

The Onion strikes again

Ah The Onion, their only problem is they aren't funny.

Ah The Onion, their only problem is they aren't funny.
not if you dont have a sense of humor no..

all of that ice cream will be gone in a week or so if they let Michael Moore get his hands on it

For those republicans who still haven't caught on: The onion is a joke newspaper. It is a LIE. A FILTHY LIE. On the other hand, it's quite funny.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

Ummm ... if you don't like leftist hippy types, then you should have never started eating Ben & Jerry's in the first place. They both have a long history of leftist activism.

all of that ice cream will be gone in a week or so if they let Michael Moore get his hands on it

A week? You really think it would take that long?

er...

its not a true story
Wrong. The Onion is expanding with comedy on something that does happen to be true. They embellished, sure, but this really did appear on Fox News.

Ummm ... if you don't like leftist hippy types, then you should have never started eating Ben & Jerry's in the first place. They both have a long history of leftist activism.

They do, really? Hmph, I'm not eating their ice cream anymore, then.

Ummm ... if you don't like leftist hippy types, then you should have never started eating Ben & Jerry's in the first place. They both have a long history of leftist activism.
Despite being my passion, politics has absolutely no place in food, especially good food.

Despite being my passion, politics has absolutely no place in food, especially good food.

Lets roll out the "freedom fries"

Well isn't that...um...filling... A fatass slop getting junk food named after him.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

Satire notwithstanding...dude...its ice cream... :rolleyes:

my IQ has dropped on reading a few of the posts in this thread

Wrong. The Onion is expanding with comedy on something that does happen to be true. They embellished, sure, but this really did appear on Fox News.

Really? Are you sure it wasn't just duped? Wouldn't be the first time a news outlet fell for a net hoax.

Satire notwithstanding...dude...its ice cream... :rolleyes:
Okay, okay! Those two sadists have won! They can be commie-fascists for all I care, and have a Bavarian pretzel icecream for Hitler, yet I'll still eat them. Just don't torture me like this.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

Another insightful comment from a conservative.

Ummm ... if you don't like leftist hippy types, then you should have never started eating Ben & Jerry's in the first place. They both have a long history of leftist activism.

Yes, doing good deeds by helping the poor, homeless, and environment must be the work of evil leftists. ::eyeroll::

Okay, okay! Those two sadists have won! They can be commie-fascists for all I care, and have a Bavarian pretzel icecream for Hitler, yet I'll still eat them. Just don't torture me like this.

You got major reality issues.

Despite being my passion, politics has absolutely no place in food, especially good food.
forever and ever, amen!

Well, I bought my last pint of Cherry Garcia.

You got major reality issues.
No, I don't. Food is reality. Food is transcends all things. Food is God's greatest gift to humans. It was silly of me to post what I originally did.

Satire notwithstanding...dude...its ice cream... :rolleyes:

Come on people, if you can't stand the (political) heat, get out of the ice cream freezer...wow, that was corny. Anyways, nobody is forcing you to eat anything. It's ice cream. Will it truly change the face of history enough to get that worked up about it?

Gotta give Ben and Jerry's mad props on the clever name. Even if people don't believe it's "truth" they can still laugh at the double entendre of Awful truth. It caters to both sides. The truth could be awful, or it could be an awful representation of the truth.

The flavor actually sounds pretty good. Isn't the entire point of ice cream eating it, not the political standing. Do you really think that humanity will follow politics because they're written on a frozen dairy product?

my IQ has dropped on reading a few of the posts in this thread
haha, how witty.
great, michael moore is suckin satans cock a little bit more! (in the words of bill hicks). i think michael moore is a pussy, who cares if his fat ass has an ice cream flavor named after him. maybe he should take some sugar coating off his god damn documentaries.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.
Sarcasm I hope.

Sarcasm I hope.
No, I meant it. But now I know that I can't resist. Ben & Jerry's is too powerful.

Wrong. The Onion is expanding with comedy on something that does happen to be true. They embellished, sure, but this really did appear on Fox News.

If they did, they got duped. It's not on the Ben and Jerry site in their list of new flavours:

http://www.benjerry.com/our_products/search_results.cfm?s=new

For the curious, here's an article on Ben & Jerry's on Fox that may be what the Onion took off from:

Pants on Fire Tour (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,126539,00.html)

Kind of amusing, really, even to us diehard conservatives.

Interestingly enough, it appears Ben and Jerry actually sold out to an international conglomerate. How very unliberal of them.

It is an interesting way to protest. I have to say, this entire conversation is all rather funny and annoying to me. :headbang:

I can't believe some people took my article seriously! :D

In light of the article I linked to on Fox, it is no more unbelievable than anything else we saw pulled this election season. If I had not known the Onion was a satire site, I might have been pulled in if I had not read the article closely enough.

Another insightful comment from a conservative.

Assuming it was true, why isn't he allowed to not support companies that give money to causes he disagrees with? It's a valid and effective method of expressing your views.

I know what The Onion is, but I did not see it posted there. In any case, I never got their humor. Political humor is too dry for me.

I liked Ben & Jerry's so much, but now I'll have to boycott it. If they plan to honor political views I disagree with, then I will exercise my right as a consumer.

:begins best Norm McDonald imperssonation:
Once again proving my theory...
Republicans are all idiots.

I know this is a foreign concept for most conservatives but you should check sources for stories you find outragous. Especially when those sources are joke sites with their names printed right at the top of the story.

:begins best Norm McDonald imperssonation:
Once again proving my theory...
Republicans are all idiots.

I know this is a foreign concept for most conservatives but you should check sources for stories you find outragous. Especially when those sources are joke sites with their names printed right at the top of the story.

I know it is all farce, but i would not put something like that past them. After they drove around the country with a bush effigy with burning pants.

The funniest thing about linking to the onion is that there are always a few people who believe it. I still tend to prefer the old satirewire stories though.

I know it is all farce, but i would not put something like that past them. After they drove around the country with a bush effigy with burning pants.

I would prefer something creative like that instead of just buying airtime on CBS or something and throwing mud at him. It's a polite way of saying "i disagree with you sir", also gives them free publicity when fox broadcasts it around the nation.

its only fair that you conservative types boycott Ben and Jerry's. I myself can't stand ice cream. I have boycotted Pepsi CO. for there right wing politics so all is fair . Go with coca cola if u do not want too support the right . I do find it somewhat disturbing to find so many right wingers on a game forum I am hoping you are all over 30, or only marginally intelligent enough to play this game.

The funniest thing about linking to the onion is that there are always a few people who believe it. I still tend to prefer the old satirewire stories though.
Heh, like Jesussaves about the Harry Potter book causing Satanism

Onion = fun.

And if they did roll out Michael Moore ice cream, well, I'd eat it, if

a.) It tasted good.
b.) Big Mike left some for everyone else.

all of that ice cream will be gone in a week or so if they let Michael Moore get his hands on it
only a week? :D