NationStates Jolt Archive

Man, ya ever think the world is in such a funk that we need a zombie apocalypse so you and a select few can hold up in a mall or a Best Buy or something and just do whatever you want while trying to stay away from the undead? It sounds like fun to me.

A more cogent analysis of American foreign policy I have yet to read.

Man, ya ever think the world is in such a funk that we need a zombie apocalypse so you and a select few can hold up in a mall or a Best Buy or something and just do whatever you want while trying to stay away from the undead? It sounds like fun to me.

You are a very strange little person. Have you ever considered applying for work as a friggin' gnome?

Hey, I'm just having a hypothetical moment here. I mean, it looks like fun.

I mean, all ya got to do is hold up the place. I'm talking about slow undead. The people in the original Dawn of The Dead lived in the mall for months!

That would be fantastic. Who do we petition to get this done?

Man, ya ever think the world is in such a funk that we need a zombie apocalypse so you and a select few can hold up in a mall or a Best Buy or something and just do whatever you want while trying to stay away from the undead? It sounds like fun to me.

As long as my dick doesn't get eaten... I'm in

I would go after a walmart to fortify. It has all the basics needed, from welding equipment, building supplies, and firearms, to food and water.

Most of them are build pretty secure too, and with minor modifications, and use of the carts to build baricades, you could make a fortified "castle" with ease. Then with the use of their large parking lots, you would have a good view of things coming at ya.

Man, ya ever think the world is in such a funk that we need a zombie apocalypse so you and a select few can hold up in a mall or a Best Buy or something and just do whatever you want while trying to stay away from the undead? It sounds like fun to me.

Sometimes I wonder about the "Zombpocalypse" myself. It's all fun and games until they eat your family and friends. I do talk about it sometimes, think of the best places to fortify and such. And sometimes I consult a zombie hunter:

zombiehunters.org

They're good people to know in the event of an outbreak. Pretty cool even when there isn't one, too.

Look, if zombies come attacking, there's only one place to go... a Pub!
(Shaun of the Dead, anyone?)

I would go after a walmart to fortify. It has all the basics needed, from welding equipment, building supplies, and firearms, to food and water.

Most of them are build pretty secure too, and with minor modifications, and use of the carts to build baricades, you could make a fortified "castle" with ease. Then with the use of their large parking lots, you would have a good view of things coming at ya.

That sounds like taking living room forts to the next level

Look, if zombies come attacking, there's only one place to go... a Pub!
(Shaun of the Dead, anyone?)

Therein is the difference between the yanks and the Brits. When the apocalypse comes our trans-atlantic cousins go shopping, whereas we just get down to serious drinking.

Therein is the difference between the yanks and the Brits. When the apocalypse comes our trans-atlantic cousins go shopping, whereas we just get down to serious drinking.

Ah yes!

Zombie films, after all, are essays on the current state of human society at the time they are made.

I wish for a Zombie infestation all the time.

Having seen every good zombie movie, and dozens of awful ones....im prepared.

Shoot it.

Shoot it in the head, man.

Curiously enough, no.

Although I suspect it might now occur to me when I fall asleep tonight. Thank you very much.

I would go after a walmart to fortify. It has all the basics needed, from welding equipment, building supplies, and firearms, to food and water.

Most of them are build pretty secure too, and with minor modifications, and use of the carts to build baricades, you could make a fortified "castle" with ease. Then with the use of their large parking lots, you would have a good view of things coming at ya.
There's this one mall out by Gurnee, IL, I think. It's actually only got about 2 vulnerable entrances and has everything from a Sears, to a Sam's(Bulk Foods store), to a bass and Pro shop(Many, many, guns, specifically shotguns, the preferred zombie killing weapon.).

Yeah sure. I've been dreaming of it for a long time.

My homebase would have been the Suria KLCC shopping Centre in the centre of Kuala Lumpur. I've even dreamt where I would store weapons, sleep, have neverending sex with the last hot chun chick on earth, and escape routes via the Train or Light Rail Transport.

Plus barricading certain locactions, elevators and stuff. And my final escape route would be parachuting down from the KLCC bridge into the park down below.

I wish for a Zombie infestation all the time.

Having seen every good zombie movie, and dozens of awful ones....im prepared.

Shoot it.

Shoot it in the head, man.
And not with some dinky little pistol, no.
With a shotgun!

And not with some dinky little pistol, no.
With a shotgun!
Glad to see someone else knows how to properly dispatch a zombie. Other useful methods involve bastard swords, axes, and sledgehammers.

Glad to see someone else knows how to properly dispatch a zombie. Other useful methods involve bastard swords, axes, and sledgehammers.
Would zombies burn well? What with their decaying flesh and all?

Would zombies burn well? What with their decaying flesh and all?
Hmm, yes, but until they burnt enough to stop moving they would still be dangerous, even more so since they might light you on fire as well.

"Don't light them on fire (with a molotov, for instance)... They just scream, and run around burning, and lighting everything else on fire... And then they start smelling like Jimmy Dean, and it makes you all hungry..."

Heh, if you haven't yet, get a copy of the Dawn of the Dead (new version) DVD, and watch the special feature from Andy, the Ammo Guy... The above is a quote from that "discovered footage" (highly paraphrased, due to my only having seen it once, quite a while ago)...

Anyways, even though my comments in the "What makes a scary film scary?" thread would make me seem like the least likely person to embrace a zombie apocalypse, I think I really would...

Why? Well, I've always wanted to be placed into a situation like that... Maybe not necessarily zombies, but any situation where it's sort of a heroic trial by fire... Let's test what I'm really made of, you know?

For the most part, I think I'd have to treat it like a video game... You really need to remove yourself from the reality of that situation in order to be effective... Once you start understanding the truth of the circumstances, and all of the related ramifications, you'll end up in the fetal position mumbling incoherently when they find you and eat you...lol

And yes, I too have thought out survival plans numerous times (usually, after watching one of the movies, it becomes a recurring thought for days)... How to fight them, where to go, etc...

The Wal*Mart idea is one of the best... You can find nearly anything you'd ever need in a decent Wal*Mart... Especially one of the "Super Centers", with the full grocery section... Plus, there are only a few easily accessible entrances to keep covered... A mall has way too many points of entry... Nearly every large mall store has an outside doorway, plus the mall's normal entrances, plus all of the various loading docks, etc...

A Wal*Mart has the front entrances, a Lawn & Garden entrance (just a single door, in most cases), possibly an Automotive/Tire & Lube express entrance (again, just a single door), a few loading bays, and a bunch of emergency doors that can only be opened from inside... That's it... The only truly vulnerable spots are the big, glass front entrances (usually two of them, in the case of a Super Center)... The rest can be easily barricaded (especially if you can get a hold on the keys to the Tow Motor, or the electric pallet jack, and can move some of the really big stuff up against them)

The front entrances, like I said, will be your only concern... Write off the vestibule (the middle "foyer" section between the outside doors, and the second set that leads into the store itself... the area where all of the vending machnes, games, etc. are usually at)... This area is useless to you, and should only be used to place some perimeter barricades/obstacles... You probably won't be able to keep the zombies out of this area (since it's mostly glass), so don't even try... Just use it to make it harder for them to get further in, and concentrate on truly fortifying the inner doors...

Unfortunately, some Wal*Marts aren't built with two layers of doors, so you might have to consider that outside set of doors as your fortification... In this case, you've got much more work to do...

But anyways, do whatever you've got to do to block off the front doors... Usually, there will be many, many empty wooden (and plastic) pallets in the back warehouse area... Bring them out, grabbing whatever you need from hardware, and build yourself a wall... Heck, find some full pallets, and drag them out, too, and stack them up against the barricade... Pet food pallets will work wonders for this... Dog food in bags of 20 or 50 pounds come on pallets stacked as high as 4', sometimes higher... That's roughly 50 or so bags per pallet... That could be over 2 tons per pallet (for the 50lb bags)... Plus, pretty much anything that you won't need can be spared for this barricade... Which basically means anything but food, water, and weaponry...

Now that you've got things secured, you're sitting pretty... A Wal*Mart will have plenty of water (bottled, in gallon jugs, etc, etc) to last you a long time... A Super Center will have plenty of food (much of it non-perishable), and even a normal Wal*Mart without the grocery section will have a large supply of snack foods and such (and even some canned foods)...

And weaponry? You're definitely in luck... You'll find numerous guns (shotguns and rifles) in the Sporting Good section, and a LOT of ammo for them... You're especially in luck if this event occurs around hunting season... Wal*Marts stock up huge for hunting season... Entire pallets full of shotgun shells... 12 guage, 20 guage, even 410 if you can't handle the good stuff... 200 count boxes of shells, stacked as high as your shoulder...lol That's a LOT of ammo...

And you can find plenty of baseball bats, golf clubs, sledge hammers, etc, etc...

And I'm sure you can find something to make some sort of "bite proof" armor out of...lol

Need to cook your food? You're in luck... If the electricity is still on, you've got all the microwaves you'd ever need... If not, you can find plenty of Sterno in Sporting Goods... Or even lighters and stuff to make fires (just be sure not to set the sprinklers off...lol)

After that, you've got all kinds of neat stuff to play with... Plenty of batteries to power numerous flashlights, radios, gameboys, etc... And lots of things that can be used to make neat traps and such (just for fun... you won't be relying on these things to save you, really... just to play Home Alone when you get the chance...lol)

Don't want to risk staying in the open area of the store? Head to the back to find a breakroom complete with vending machines, bathrooms, and microwaves, with steel doors that lock... There's also a few small offices with locking doors... One of which has a set of TV monitors that watch all of the security cameras in the store (and perhaps some in the parking lot)... Keep an eye on your territory, have advance warning if/when the enemy makes it inside, etc (of course, this only works as long as the power remains on)...

Want to use the roof (for long-range surveilance, or as a last resort for hiding)? There's a single ladder up to a hatch to the roof... Somewhere in the back behind layaway, usually, but you'll have to look around... You'll need the keys, but a set can usually be found in one of the offices...

If you've still got power, there's also more than one internet-accessible computer around... What better way in this day and age, to get info on these events as they unfold (or, even as a call for help)? And, Wal*Marts have a satellite hook up to a central network, and their own phone system (you can call a 1-700 number from any store, and reach any other store, only by knowing their 4-digit store number, which can be found in a directory that's bound to be lying around)...

In short, anything you'd need, and lots of things that would just be nice to have, can be found in a Wal*Mart... All in a large building that is easily defended...

Oh well, enough rambling... Time to train my zombie survival skills...lol

A zombie apocalypse would be fantastic. Wipe the human slate clean. We can start over, and all those too scared and weak to defend themselves would be wiped out. It would be like natural selection breeding stronger, more resourcefull humans.

Sometimes...Just so long as I get to shoot guns a lot.

Ah yes!

Zombie films, after all, are essays on the current state of human society at the time they are made.

Yes, we see that again here - not one american poster has spoken up for the good of 'mom and pop' stores in the oncoming night of the walking dead: they are prepared to see megamarts and ubermalls destroy their own hometown communities just on the off-chance that they can have a kewl place to play at soldiers in.

What the hell is a bastard sword?

What the hell is a bastard sword?
A really badass sword, often seen in video games. And Midieval Europe.

http://members.aol.com/dargolyt/TheForge/bastard.htm

Yes, we see that again here - not one american poster has spoken up for the good of 'mom and pop' stores in the oncoming night of the walking dead: they are prepared to see megamarts and ubermalls destroy their own hometown communities just on the off-chance that they can have a kewl place to play at soldiers in.
So what's your point?

Glad to see someone else knows how to properly dispatch a zombie. Other useful methods involve bastard swords, axes, and sledgehammers.
Don't forget the most important: the saw, the motorsaw! :D (I've seen too many splatter films.)

Pfft. All this talk of fancy motorsaws and shotguns. All a TRUE Zombie Hunter needs is a spade and a bad attitude!

So what's your point?

That people seem to be missing the point that Dawn Of The Dead was a satire on American consumerist values - both the zombies and the still living see paradise as a warehouse full of consumer goods.

There is one major thing which is always overlooked - goggles. Following the idea of an infection, zombification would occur via saliva-blood, blood-blood or (hopefully this never happens) sex with a zombie. Protecting against bites is easy enough if you have a shotgun, but what about spatter? Firing a shotgun at close range at a zombie is bound to result in spray, and blood can be absorbed through the eye or mouth. So get your goggles on, an maybe a facemask! :p

What's with the undead apocolypse threads today lol? Anyways, yes, although horrible and nightmarish it would give the entire world a clean slate (if we win). I'm confident that I could easily survive, given of course we're talking about slow zombies.

I would immediatly drive down to my grandpa's house and grab all his artillery. Mostly shotguns, large revolvers, and powerful rifles. :D At some point I would find a katana, because katanas are cool and can slice through rotting flesh like a blow torch through a watermelon. It would suck if the rest of the animals turned to zombies though. (Thinks of crows from Resident Evil *shivers*)

That people seem to be missing the point that Dawn Of The Dead was a satire on American consumerist values - both the zombies and the still living see paradise as a warehouse full of consumer goods.
You seem a little depressed and upset. Go out to Walmart and buy yourself something nice. That should cheer you up!

I always figured that if there were any sort of infection sort of apocalypse one of the best ideas would be to go somewhere away from pretty much any large (or small) population of people. Like up in the Rockies. Or the territories.

Get a nice cabin in some forest in the middle-of-nowhere, learn how to hunt and gather food and you're all set! I mean, how many zombies are going to end up in the middle of a forest anyway? And if you're a hunter it would be easy enough to pick off any strays. It would be even better if you lived on a mountain. How many zombies could climb a mountain I wonder?

Do you think bears would eat zombies? And if they did, would they become bear zombies? 'Cause I mean really... a zombie-bear would be one of the scariest things ever. Sorta.

You seem a little depressed and upset. Go out to Walmart and buy yourself something nice. That should cheer you up!

Thankfully my fair land has not yet been polluted by that stain that is Walmart. Sam Walton did more to harm America than the Soviets or Al Qaeda could ever dream of.

Get a nice cabin in some forest in the middle-of-nowhere, learn how to hunt and gather food and you're all set! I mean, how many zombies are going to end up in the middle of a forest anyway?

Sure, that plan worked out so well for Ash.

Sure, that plan worked out so well for Ash.
Ash wasn't being confronted by normal zombies though. He faced hellbeasts conjured by playing a tape of the Necronomicon being read aloud.

Ash wasn't being confronted by normal zombies though. He faced hellbeasts conjured by playing a tape of the Necronomicon being read aloud.

Using 'normal' as a modifier connected to the term 'zombies' suggests that we have a solid baseline by which to judge their eccentricities. I fear this is not the case.

This is funny because I just finished watching Dawn of the Dead.

I think it'd be pretty cool, I have a few guns... albeit in a locked gun locker, with trigger locks, and the ammo is... well, God knows where. But they're there. I think I could have a decent chance of survival for, oh... 30 minutes?