NationStates Jolt Archive

(Man in black strolls out onto stage. Standing before a crowd of men and woman he holds his head up high.)

Ladies and gentleman...

(A giant cut out heart is behind him and as the man smiles, he starts foaming at the mouth, waving his fists in the air and screaming germa- i mean obscenties.)

FOR ALL THE CRAZY BITCHES OUT THERE!!!

the ones your best friends stole!

The ones with that best friend that steals them!
The Ex-Boyfriend with a long history that gets them back!
the exboyfriend they have that they always complain about!
the exboyfriend they have that they direly miss but want you!

The depressiong Emo girls that constnatly try to drag you down!
the ones that complaina bout everything!!
The ones that complain about nothing important! like spoons!
the ones that put everything down!
the ones that just hate themselves!
the ones that cut themselves!
the ones that throw things at you!

(He takes a breath, in the crowd, fights break out, the women are losing.)

THE SLUTTY GIRLS THAT SLEEP BEHIND YOUR BACK!
the ones that steal your stuff!!
the ones that ask for heavy handed gifts but offer nothing in return!!

The ones that fight over EVERYTHING!
the onse that fight over nothing!!
the ones with major attitudes!!

(He falls over)

The ones that want everything!
the ones that cry because they cant have everything!
the ones that CRY ALL THE TIME!
the ones that LIE all the time!
the liars! the wenches! the fakes! the whores!

The Princess's! THE EMO GOTHICS! the neglected Child!
the Daddy-Doesnt-Love-Me's!!!
THe suicidals! The melodramatic's!!

(stands back up)

i say we UNITE! Duct tape them all, tie them to heart shaped rocks and throw them all in the river...Then, we shall all enjoy our new cyborg women :)

(thumbs up)

Buddy Christ agrees! Back in the old days of america, we could punch whoever the hell we wanted too, legally!

(He bursts into flames and falls into the crowd, foaming and screaming)




SUPPORT THE BROTHERHOOD and CYBORG TRANSISITION! share your stories of the following Bitchness! Gather around the valentines day campfire, share stories, share murders, share redrums, and uh...

(Devours chocolate) Yes....yes............YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hands him some flowers and chocolates*

Dude, you need these more than I do.
Happy Valentine's Day.

:fluffle:

Wow...

*claps and throws you flowers, shouting, "Encore! Encore!"*

*Forgetting civilised ways, fires shotgun into the air and helps with the duct-taping, while foaming at the mouth and biting anything that moves*

*Screams in mindless rage and starts throwing spoons at people*

*Screams in mindless rage and starts throwing spoons at people*

*gets hit in the head with a spoon, and retaliates by throwing a metal spork at DPUO*

*Sees movement nearby. Lunges at Euro teeth first*

*Grabs the spork in his teeth, spits it back at Euro and charges at Euro and Taldaan, screaming "DIE YOU BASTARD!!!"

*Dives out of the way of DPUO, and prepares to fire eye-lasers. Yes, I have eye-lasers*

*Sees movement nearby. Lunges at Euro teeth first*

*evades using his cat-like reflexes, and reveals a 10 feet tall metal spork, blocking DPUO's retaliatory strike, and prepares for his charge*

Ahhh can't you just feel the love.

I love this post. :) Happy 2-months-late Valentine's Day...

I sense thread necomancy. Oh, and I hate Valentine's Day too; nothing but a ploy by teh corporations to make us buy stuff. If Cupid wants me to fall in love he'd better change from a bow & arrow to a high-powered sniper rifle.