NationStates Jolt Archive

All the statistics I have seen on the relationship between attitudes/beliefs and long life indicate that three primary factors have great weight: continuing to learn and grow for your entire lifetime, maintaining an attitude of joy and happiness, and continuing to enjoy "play."

When I was very young, about 9 or 10, I think, I went with some people to see a live performance of "Peter Pan." At that time a very talented young woman named Mary Martin was playing Peter Pan and did an outstanding job.

When she sang "Never Grow Up," I thought about how serious and stodgy all the adults in my life seemed to be and concluded that was NOT for me! I made the decision to never "grow up" in the sense of becoming someone who could never play and laugh and truly enjoy being alive.

I have been able to maintain that attitude to the present day, and God willing, will be the very same way to the day I die ( which will, hopefully, be a much later date than it would have been if I had forgotten how to "play" ).

Life is to be lived, and lived with joy and love and laughter. If, God forbid, I ever lose this approach to life, I sincerely hope someone shoots my stupid azz!

What do you think? And for the "adults" among us, what has helped keep you "young" enough to "play" here on NS and elsewhere? :)

go y0u!

According to Provine, laughter and/or good humor has no effect on longevity, but play certainly might, so long as it includes exercise. ;) X-box might not be the way to go..

My grandparents swore by olive oil and dandelion greens for long life.. granted, they died 30 years before I was born, but it was a good effort.

I've only been a legal adult for 365 days... (no, its tomorrow (the 15th) it was a leap year last year)

All the statistics I have seen on the relationship between attitudes/beliefs and long life indicate that three primary factors have great weight: continuing to learn and grow for your entire lifetime, maintaining an attitude of joy and happiness, and continuing to enjoy "play."

When I was very young, about 9 or 10, I think, I went with some people to see a live performance of "Peter Pan." At that time a very talented young woman named Mary Martin was playing Peter Pan and did an outstanding job.

When she sang "Never Grow Up," I thought about how serious and stodgy all the adults in my life seemed to be and concluded that was NOT for me! I made the decision to never "grow up" in the sense of becoming someone who could never play and laugh and truly enjoy being alive.

I have been able to maintain that attitude to the present day, and God willing, will be the very same way to the day I die ( which will, hopefully, be a much later date than it would have been if I had forgotten how to "play" ).

Life is to be lived, and lived with joy and love and laughter. If, God forbid, I ever lose this approach to life, I sincerely hope someone shoots my stupid azz!

What do you think? And for the "adults" among us, what has helped keep you "young" enough to "play" here on NS and elsewhere? :)
I think...

whoa, reading this post is like déjà vu all over again! :p

People on NS = Attitude of joy
...
...
...
I dont see it. Especialy on general.

Juice from a freshly slaughtered baby every morning. Does wonders for your whole body and mind.

i dont know if it makes you live longer but remembering how to have fun and maintaining a positive attitude toward life makes the life you do have much more worth living.

According to Provine, laughter and/or good humor has no effect on longevity, but play certainly might, so long as it includes exercise. ;) X-box might not be the way to go..

My grandparents swore by olive oil and dandelion greens for long life.. granted, they died 30 years before I was born, but it was a good effort.

It's difficult sorting through all the many variables, but it's been proven that laughter promotes good health and I don't think that can hurt. Things like your genetic inheritance certainly have a major impact, but the idea is to live as long as your genes will permit ... and to stay as healthy as possible while living.

A good diet high in anti-oxidants and low in fat certainly helps, as does strenuous exercise for at least 30 minutes every other day. But even if you die relatively young, having lived your allotted years with a thirst for learning, reveling in the beauty and joy of life, and laughing the whole way certainly will make whatever years you accumulate happier than they would have been otherwise.

And it makes the lives of those around you a bit happier as well. :D

I think...

whoa, reading this post is like déjà vu all over again! :p

LOL!

Love your Agatha Christie quote! :D

People on NS = Attitude of joy
...
...
...
I dont see it. Especialy on general.

Keruvalia, Bitchkitten, Peechland, Eichen, Eutrusca, and lots of others display this attitude on a regular basis. You can't see that??? :headbang:

i dont know if it makes you live longer but remembering how to have fun and maintaining a positive attitude toward life makes the life you do have much more worth living.

Amen! :)

It's difficult sorting through all the many variables, but it's been proven that laughter promotes good health and I don't think that can hurt.

Ah, I wish that were true.. there hasn't been any proof of this, aside from anecdotal evidence, at least according to 'Laughter: A Scientific Study,' by Provine, which I was supposed to read for a class, but didn't. I absorbed as much from the lecture though. Certainly, adding life to your years is as important as adding years to your life though, I should think.

People on NS = Attitude of joy
...
...
...
I dont see it. Especialy on general.


I recommend avoiding political arguments for a while. They tend not to promote an attitude of joy and happiness.

EDIT: damn, I logged in as a puppet!

I recommend avoiding political arguments for a while. They tend not to promote an attitude of joy and happiness.

EDIT: damn, I logged in as a puppet!

From "Conan The Barbarian:"

"What is the meaning of life?"

"To destroy your enemies and see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women!"

Hehehe! Just kidding, although intense debate ( particularly when you think you won! ) is intellectually stimulating. :D

Well Poppy, I know you will be young forever. :)

I think the way we prioritize things is a major part of it. For some, money is the big driving factor. Some people work their entire lives hoping to amass a fortune that they may very well never live to spend. They end up missing out on a lot of things that could have brought them joy. Nothing wrong with being ambitious and hard working. Nothing at all. Just be sure you take time out to do the things that make you happy. Dont miss out on an opportunity to smile. Whether its collecting stamps, skiing,spending time around the dining room table playing monopoly with your family......whatever. Those moments we take, to grab a little piece of happiness, are what I think, keep us "young" and vivacious at heart.
I used to work about 65-80 hours a week. I did that for maybe 8 years. I stopped one day and asked myself, " what are you doing? You havent laughed in about 6 years." So I changed career paths and now enjoy spending time with my children. I wouldnt go back to those kinds of hours for any amount of money. I make half of what I used to. But the benefits are immeasureable.


Enjoy life....it can disappear in a matter of seconds.

LOL!

Love your Agatha Christie quote! :D
Thank you! I stumbled across it about 5 years ago, and it just seemed to fit so well!

And to answer your thread's question... I like approaching life and the people around me with a playful attitude. Which it helpful for me, because I'm very much a type-A sort of person, so just being playful helps to relax and, at the same time, energize me.

By being playful, I mean flirting with everyone around me (which I think is the ultimate secret to youth - my great grandmother, who is 100, is and always was a major flirt!) and gently teasing them, and bantering when they tease me... also, always being intellectually curious. I just want to find out things or get to know stuff about people because I can, and it's just fun!

In addition, I seek out stimulating social activities, like playing board games, going dancing, hosting parties, playing quizo at pubs... the list goes on.

And when I'm down, or I need a chance to regroup, I do so by taking time out with a hot bath, or reading a good novel.

Of course, I'm only 23, but when I look forward to the many years of life ahead of me with these thoughts in mind, I can't help but be excited about living!

You've nailed it! Even if I don't live through today, I will have lived a long life because it has been filled with love, joy, and a lot of play. When my granddaughters were little they all had Barbie dolls...I think there might be a Barbie cult. Anway, whenever they visited, they would bring their Barbies and I would sit on the floor with them and play in Barbie-land. One Christmas they convinced their parents I needed my own Barbie, with wardrobe, so that I would have one to play with even if they weren't there. Over the years she and all of her accessories disappeared. I wonder, now that most of them no longer play with their dolls, if I might get her back. I'll need her when I get down on the floor to play Barbie with my great-granddaughters!

Hehehe! Just kidding, although intense debate ( particularly when you think you won! ) is intellectually stimulating. :D

Yeah, it depends on the debates. I tend to find myself drawn into arguments with people like commando2, which isn't very fun as the conversation just goes in circles. It's always good to chat to somebody who knows their stuff, though.

Well Poppy, I know you will be young forever. :)

I think the way we prioritize things is a major part of it. For some, money is the big driving factor. Some people work their entire lives hoping to amass a fortune that they may very well never live to spend. They end up missing out on a lot of things that could have brought them joy. Nothing wrong with being ambitious and hard working. Nothing at all. Just be sure you take time out to do the things that make you happy. Dont miss out on an opportunity to smile. Whether its collecting stamps, skiing,spending time around the dining room table playing monopoly with your family......whatever. Those moments we take, to grab a little piece of happiness, are what I think, keep us "young" and vivacious at heart.
I used to work about 65-80 hours a week. I did that for maybe 8 years. I stopped one day and asked myself, " what are you doing? You havent laughed in about 6 years." So I changed career paths and now enjoy spending time with my children. I wouldnt go back to those kinds of hours for any amount of money. I make half of what I used to. But the benefits are immeasureable.

Enjoy life....it can disappear in a matter of seconds.

**APPLAUDS** [ Beams with pride at the wisdom of his e-daughter! ] :D

The last six months I worked for Exxon as a Personnel Manager, I worked at least 12-hour days and sometimes as much as 16! Plus, I went the entire six months without a single day off ... six months! I did this because I believed that it would help my children if I got a promotion to VP of Employee Relations.

They laid me off at the end of the six months, largely because I had told them I wasn't going to move again because all five of my children were all in public schools and I didn't want to uproot them.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! I've paid a heavy financial toll for my decision, but my children are among the wisest, kindest and most mature people I have ever seen! SCORE ONE FOR THE ANCIENT GIMP! :D

Hehehe! Just kidding, although intense debate ( particularly when you think you won! ) is intellectually stimulating. :D
I'm right in that camp with you! I had a great day yesterday, partially because I got into a truly fascinating debate with someone. We agreed on some points, disagreed on others, but also tried to listen to what the other person was saying.

Yeah, it depends on the debates. I tend to find myself drawn into arguments with people like commando2, which isn't very fun as the conversation just goes in circles. It's always good to chat to somebody who knows their stuff, though.

Pick your battles wisely, grasshopper! :D

You've nailed it! Even if I don't live through today, I will have lived a long life because it has been filled with love, joy, and a lot of play. When my granddaughters were little they all had Barbie dolls...I think there might be a Barbie cult. Anway, whenever they visited, they would bring their Barbies and I would sit on the floor with them and play in Barbie-land. One Christmas they convinced their parents I needed my own Barbie, with wardrobe, so that I would have one to play with even if they weren't there. Over the years she and all of her accessories disappeared. I wonder, now that most of them no longer play with their dolls, if I might get her back. I'll need her when I get down on the floor to play Barbie with my great-granddaughters!

Three cheers for Zooke! :D

How far away do you live? When my grandaughters start their own families, I might bring their lil girls over! :D

Pick your battles wisely, grasshopper! :D
That's what my mom always told me. I hated hearing that when I was an adolescent, but now I have a much better idea of the wisdom of what she was saying!

Of course, sometimes my emotions kick in and override rationality, and I unwisely choose a battle I shouldn't, but I'm trying!!

Three cheers for Zooke! :D

How far away do you live? When my grandaughters start their own families, I might bring their lil girls over! :D

I live outside of Little Rock in a primarily Air Force community.

We know we're well protected, once we learn to sleep with all the C-130s flying over.

Pick your battles wisely, grasshopper! :D

I guess I should read up on things a bit. Most people seem to be a lot more informed about politics than me. And I should start debating with reasonable people...


EDIT: Ah, give me a good social thread any day of the week.

That's what my mom always told me. I hated hearing that when I was an adolescent, but now I have a much better idea of the wisdom of what she was saying!

Of course, sometimes my emotions kick in and override rationality, and I unwisely choose a battle I shouldn't, but I'm trying!!

And you're only 23??? Amazing! :)

You sound as though you've done lots of living in your 23 years and have gained considerable wisdom in the process.

I live outside of Little Rock in a primarily Air Force community.

We know we're well protected, once we learn to sleep with all the C-130s flying over.

Kewl! Once I've accumulated considerable cash ( one of my last few goals in life ), I plan on buying a crew-cab pickup ( maybe even a Hummer! ), attaching a travel trailer to it, and knocking around the US. Perhaps I can talk some of my children into bringing their grandchildren down to play with yours! :D

And you're only 23??? Amazing! :)

You sound as though you've done lots of living in your 23 years and have gained considerable wisdom in the process.
Yes and no, I suppose!

I've always tried very hard to understand myself and the world and people around me, so that's helped.

And I've had some variety of experiences (parents divorced, moving, working for an addictions treatment research organization, etc.), but I've also lived a fairly cushy life. I see my parents as being wise in many ways, for instance, and when they got divorced they NEVER used me to get to each other. They worked really hard to have an amiable relationship, in large part because they wanted to do the right thing for me.

Which maybe helped me gain strength over the years, in that I always felt confident in approaching new ideas, whether that is considering someone else's point of view or brainstorming solo. And I had support from family while at the same time knowing they had fairly high expectations, so as I met each goal and gained positive reinforcement, I was spurred on to higher goals. (That's just part of how I like to live, though!)

I'm still young enough to be totally flattered by your post! :D And to care a lot about what other people think in general - I'm a fairly passionate and sensitive person.

Kewl! Once I've accumulated considerable cash ( one of my last few goals in life ), I plan on buying a crew-cab pickup ( maybe even a Hummer! ), attaching a travel trailer to it, and knocking around the US. Perhaps I can talk some of my children into bringing their grandchildren down to play with yours! :D

Folks are always welcome in our home! Plus, as we both like to cook, the eats are good and plentiful. We have a big fenced in yard and about half the kids in the neighborhood already hang out mooching cookies.

Yes and no, I suppose!

I've always tried very hard to understand myself and the world and people around me, so that's helped.

And I've had some variety of experiences (parents divorced, moving, working for an addictions treatment research organization, etc.), but I've also lived a fairly cushy life. I see my parents as being wise in many ways, for instance, and when they got divorced they NEVER used me to get to each other. They worked really hard to have an amiable relationship, in large part because they wanted to do the right thing for me.

Which maybe helped me gain strength over the years, in that I always felt confident in approaching new ideas, whether that is considering someone else's point of view or brainstorming solo. And I had support from family while at the same time knowing they had fairly high expectations, so as I met each goal and gained positive reinforcement, I was spurred on to higher goals. (That's just part of how I like to live, though!)

I'm still young enough to be totally flattered by your post! :D And to care a lot about what other people think in general - I'm a fairly passionate and sensitive person.

LOL! Kewl!

My hat's off to your parents. The next time you get to talk with them, tell them there's an ancient gimp you talk with on NS who thinks they're both very wise and compassionate people, and that they did an excellent job! :)

Good parents RULE! :D

Kewl! Once I've accumulated considerable cash ( one of my last few goals in life ), I plan on buying a crew-cab pickup ( maybe even a Hummer! ), attaching a travel trailer to it, and knocking around the US. Perhaps I can talk some of my children into bringing their grandchildren down to play with yours! :D

Give me a few years to come up with some G-GKs. My oldest grandchild starts college this fall and she's aiming for a Masters in special ed. Her little sister (15) may move the baby schedule forward, though, if her parents don't keep a tight rein on her. :(

You've nailed it! Even if I don't live through today, I will have lived a long life because it has been filled with love, joy, and a lot of play. When my granddaughters were little they all had Barbie dolls...I think there might be a Barbie cult. Anway, whenever they visited, they would bring their Barbies and I would sit on the floor with them and play in Barbie-land. One Christmas they convinced their parents I needed my own Barbie, with wardrobe, so that I would have one to play with even if they weren't there. Over the years she and all of her accessories disappeared. I wonder, now that most of them no longer play with their dolls, if I might get her back. I'll need her when I get down on the floor to play Barbie with my great-granddaughters!
I think it goes both ways, you know... as an adult, playing with kids keeps you young. As a kid, having an adult who plays with you gives you the idea that adults can still play, which helps later in life when you're an adult!!

My dad used to always play Legos with me, and my mom used to play Scrabble with me (actually, that we still do) in addition to other games, and also they both teased me (good naturedly) when I was taking myself too seriously, and I truly believe the examples they led continue to help me now!

But I'm sure that, as your grandchildren have grown, you've seen that playful spirit thrive in them! (If you haven't yet, I'm sure you will!)

Give me a few years to come up with some G-GKs. My oldest grandchild starts college this fall and she's aiming for a Masters in special ed. Her little sister (15) may move the baby schedule forward, though, if her parents don't keep a tight rein on her. :(

Ut oh! Sounds like a "talk with Gramma" is in order!

I think it goes both ways, you know... as an adult, playing with kids keeps you young. As a kid, having an adult who plays with you gives you the idea that adults can still play, which helps later in life when you're an adult!!

My dad used to always play Legos with me, and my mom used to play Scrabble with me (actually, that we still do) in addition to other games, and also they both teased me (good naturedly) when I was taking myself too seriously, and I truly believe the examples they led continue to help me now!

But I'm sure that, as your grandchildren have grown, you've seen that playful spirit thrive in them! (If you haven't yet, I'm sure you will!)

You're amazing! Um ... are you at all attraced to "older men?" :D

( just kidding ... sigh )

Yes and no, I suppose!

I've always tried very hard to understand myself and the world and people around me, so that's helped.

And I've had some variety of experiences (parents divorced, moving, working for an addictions treatment research organization, etc.), but I've also lived a fairly cushy life. I see my parents as being wise in many ways, for instance, and when they got divorced they NEVER used me to get to each other. They worked really hard to have an amiable relationship, in large part because they wanted to do the right thing for me.

Which maybe helped me gain strength over the years, in that I always felt confident in approaching new ideas, whether that is considering someone else's point of view or brainstorming solo. And I had support from family while at the same time knowing they had fairly high expectations, so as I met each goal and gained positive reinforcement, I was spurred on to higher goals. (That's just part of how I like to live, though!)

I'm still young enough to be totally flattered by your post! :D And to care a lot about what other people think in general - I'm a fairly passionate and sensitive person.

It is so refreshing to hear a young person speak positively of their parents and their up-bringing. It's especially unique to find one so young who has gained the maturity to realize and appreciate their parents' efforts. I'm sure you will apply your parents' skills in raising you to raising your own children, making you an excellent parent, too.

LOL! Kewl!

My hat's off to your parents. The next time you get to talk with them, tell them there's an ancient gimp you talk with on NS who thinks they're both very wise and compassionate people, and that they did an excellent job! :)

Good parents RULE! :D
You're absolutely right - and I'm not sure how they'll feel if I put it exactly that way :p, but I should remember to tell them how wonderful I think they are, and that I tell other people about them, too.

I've told them in the past, but it's been awhile - thank you for reminding me!

You're amazing! Um ... are you at all attraced to "older men?" :D

( just kidding ... sigh )


tsk...tsk...Behave!! You're gonna give us old folks a bad reputation.

Ut oh! Sounds like a "talk with Gramma" is in order!

Oh, I've talked and talked to her, and continue to do so. She's a stubborn little thing. She and her sister go to a private Catholic school, so at least the nuns have her under control for now. I dread when she heads off to college, though. I'm trying to get her to consider going to UALR and living with me. That's going over like a lead balloon!

You're amazing! Um ... are you at all attraced to "older men?" :D

( just kidding ... sigh )
lol!

My parents taught me too well, I'm afraid! :p (Plus I have an absolutely incredible boyfriend!)

But I've always had friends of all ages, and am happy to pass on a hug to the person who started this great thread! http://69.93.183.37/873/199/emo/hug.gif

It is so refreshing to hear a young person speak positively of their parents and their up-bringing. It's especially unique to find one so young who has gained the maturity to realize and appreciate their parents' efforts. I'm sure you will apply your parents' skills in raising you to raising your own children, making you an excellent parent, too.
I really hope so... I know it's going to be tough!

(I remember how hard I was on my parents when I was growing up - trust me, I was a terror! Luckily, they supported me anyway, and when some people wondered how I'd get on later in life with my strong, independent streak - which is a euphamism for what I was like back then - my mom always insisted that it would serve me well later. And, for the most part, it has - thanks in large part to the fact that I was taught to respect others as much as I want respect myself.)

And I try to let my parents know now that I think they did (and continue to do!) a wonderful job, because I pretended it was just the opposite when I was a kid.

tsk...tsk...Behave!! You're gonna give us old folks a bad reputation.
lol - it's cool! You guys already have a bad reputation, anyway!

;) (totally kidding, of course!)

Oh, I've talked and talked to her, and continue to do so. She's a stubborn little thing. She and her sister go to a private Catholic school, so at least the nuns have her under control for now. I dread when she heads off to college, though. I'm trying to get her to consider going to UALR and living with me. That's going over like a lead balloon!
My parents trusted me a lot and talked honestly about things with me... I know it's difficult to talk to 15 year-old girls (and I bet you remember what it's like to be at that age too! it's a rather tumultuous, unforgettable time), but maybe she's asserting herself because the nuns have her so well under control?

In some regard, I think that she's going to have to make mistakes sooner or later and learn from them somehow, so best to get a lot of them out now - while she can still somewhat easily move past them.

(But please don't think I mean that she should be totally let loose! Because I do know that at that age, kids still need tons of guidance - even if they will NEVER admit it!) (Also, I could be totally off base here - clearly I'm just basing this on my own personal experiences, and that of my friends - but I know every situation is different!)

One thing that helped me when I was in high school (at about age 16/17) was that my mom sat down with me and told me that if I was ever out late at night and needed her to pick me up from somewhere because I/my friends were drunk or high, or if I was in some other sort of dangerous position, she would come get me, no questions asked (more or less). So because I knew that what she really cared most about was my welfare, it made it easier for me to avoid those kind of situations in the end!

A lot of adolescents, unfortunately, interpret concern for their welfare as a desire to simply control them... and they react against it. And it's difficult to break that cycle once it has begun, I think. :(

I really hope so... I know it's going to be tough!

It's not a tough as you may think. For some reason, once you have kids, something kicks in that makes them a priority. You lose a lot of the "me" and gain a lot of "they" and "we". You're parenting skills will be based on what you have learned from observing your folks. Just as abused children often grow up to be abusers, loved children most often grow up to be loving parents.

(I remember how hard I was on my parents when I was growing up - trust me, I was a terror! Luckily, they supported me anyway, and when some people wondered how I'd get on later in life with my strong, independent streak - which is a euphamism for what I was like back then - my mom always insisted that it would serve me well later. And, for the most part, it has - thanks in large part to the fact that I was taught to respect others as much as I want respect myself.)

And I try to let my parents know now that I think they did (and continue to do!) a wonderful job, because I pretended it was just the opposite when I was a kid.

That's a pretty common trait. Teenagers usually can't figure out how their parents can be so stupid and still function. When they become parents, themselves, they are often amazed at how much their parents have learned in just a few short years.

lol - it's cool! You guys already have a bad reputation, anyway!

;) (totally kidding, of course!)

My parents trusted me a lot and talked honestly about things with me... I know it's difficult to talk to 15 year-old girls (and I bet you remember what it's like to be at that age too! it's a rather tumultuous, unforgettable time), but maybe she's asserting herself because the nuns have her so well under control?

In some regard, I think that she's going to have to make mistakes sooner or later and learn from them somehow, so best to get a lot of them out now - while she can still somewhat easily move past them.

(But please don't think I mean that she should be totally let loose! Because I do know that at that age, kids still need tons of guidance - even if they will NEVER admit it!) (Also, I could be totally off base here - clearly I'm just basing this on my own personal experiences, and that of my friends - but I know every situation is different!)

One thing that helped me when I was in high school (at about age 16/17) was that my mom sat down with me and told me that if I was ever out late at night and needed her to pick me up from somewhere because I/my friends were drunk or high, or if I was in some other sort of dangerous position, she would come get me, no questions asked (more or less). So because I knew that what she really cared most about was my welfare, it made it easier for me to avoid those kind of situations in the end!

A lot of adolescents, unfortunately, interpret concern for their welfare as a desire to simply control them... and they react against it. And it's difficult to break that cycle once it has begun, I think. :(

The choice of a private school is based on the conditions in the public schools in their area (DC). She's always been an independent sort. She was slow to start walking and talking. When she was about 2 she signified with a grunt that she wanted a sip of my tea. I was determined that she would say "drink" before I gave her a sip. After several minutes, with both of us in tears, I picked her up, put her on my lap, and said "If you will just say 'drink' for grandma, you can have all you want." At this point she took my face between her little hands, looked me in the eyes, and said "I don't want to say 'drink' grandma". I was worried she couldn't say a simple word and she strung together an entire sentence! Augh!!! She's a sweet, loving person, but her independent nature hasn't changed.

It's not a tough as you may think. For some reason, once you have kids, something kicks in that makes them a priority. You lose a lot of the "me" and gain a lot of "they" and "we". You're parenting skills will be based on what you have learned from observing your folks. Just as abused children often grow up to be abusers, loved children most often grow up to be loving parents.
I suppose that's probably right! Well, at least I have quite a few years before going that route, anyway!

(I just started to think about being a parent more recently, because I have an 8 year old brother, and this past summer my mom said she and my step-dad were finally making a will and wanted to know if I would accept the responsibility of raising him if something happened to both of them. So I had to think a lot about what that would mean - said yes in the end (which I thought I would), but really had to consider it as if it were just about to happen.)
The choice of a private school is based on the conditions in the public schools in their area (DC). She's always been an independent sort. She was slow to start walking and talking. When she was about 2 she signified with a grunt that she wanted a sip of my tea. I was determined that she would say "drink" before I gave her a sip. After several minutes, with both of us in tears, I picked her up, put her on my lap, and said "If you will just say 'drink' for grandma, you can have all you want." At this point she took my face between her little hands, looked me in the eyes, and said "I don't want to say 'drink' grandma". I was worried she couldn't say a simple word and she strung together an entire sentence! Augh!!! She's a sweet, loving person, but her independent nature hasn't changed.
Ah, right, I've heard the DC public schools are horrid.

Sounds a little like me... and when my mom tried to be stubborn, too, to get me to do something (like what you did in that scenario), it challenged me to be stubborn even more!

So one thing I'm trying to learn is how to back down when I should! It's really hard!!

You're absolutely right - and I'm not sure how they'll feel if I put it exactly that way :p, but I should remember to tell them how wonderful I think they are, and that I tell other people about them, too.

I've told them in the past, but it's been awhile - thank you for reminding me!

There aren't very many things that make this old phoole "tear up" anymore, but when my own children hug me and tell me that they want to raise their own children the way my ex and I raised them ... can't help it! Heh!

There aren't very many things that make this old phoole "tear up" anymore, but when my own children hug me and tell me that they want to raise their own children the way my ex and I raised them ... can't help it! Heh!
That's a really good way of putting it - that's what I'll say next time I talk to them!! Thank you! :)

EDIT: by the way, thinking about it and doing it can get me kinda choked up too... not that I cry, but that I feel this intense love and respect that makes my heart swell. I bet your kids feel that, too!

tsk...tsk...Behave!! You're gonna give us old folks a bad reputation.
Heh! No! I don't hafta! So there! :p

Besides ... it's too late anyway! LOL! [ Bein' a kid in a grown man's body is SO kewl! ] :D


Oh, I've talked and talked to her, and continue to do so. She's a stubborn little thing. She and her sister go to a private Catholic school, so at least the nuns have her under control for now. I dread when she heads off to college, though. I'm trying to get her to consider going to UALR and living with me. That's going over like a lead balloon!
Well, just don't ever give up on her. It sounds as if she needs you very much just now, even if she doesn't think so.

Well, just don't ever give up on her. It sounds as if she needs you very much just now, even if she doesn't think so.
I agree with that - but from what I've gathered in Zooke's posts, it sounds like she never will give up!

(Good thing, too - we young people need that kind of support! In fact, something tells me that everyone needs that kind of support - or at least, their lives are a lot better when they have it!)

I've always had friends of all ages, and am happy to pass on a hug to the person who started this great thread! http://69.93.183.37/873/199/emo/hug.gif


Um ... that would be me! :D

Um ... that would be me! :D
I know! My point exactly! Here's another: http://69.93.183.37/873/199/emo/hug.gif

I agree with that - but from what I've gathered in Zooke's posts, it sounds like she never will give up!

(Good thing, too - we young people need that kind of support! In fact, something tells me that everyone needs that kind of support - or at least, their lives are a lot better when they have it!)

I rest my case for you being wise way beyond your years! :)

I know! My point exactly! Here's another: http://69.93.183.37/873/199/emo/hug.gif

Hey now! Easy wid dem fluffles! I may be old but ah ain't dead! :D

Hey now! Easy wid dem fluffles! I may be old but ah ain't dead! :D
That's not a fluffle, that's a hug! Down boy! ;)

That's not a fluffle, that's a hug! Down boy! ;)

ROFLMAO! Arf! **whine** :D

I agree with that - but from what I've gathered in Zooke's posts, it sounds like she never will give up!

(Good thing, too - we young people need that kind of support! In fact, something tells me that everyone needs that kind of support - or at least, their lives are a lot better when they have it!)

You're right on that one. I adopted 4 kids with their own unique problems. Some days it seemed like we took 2 steps back for each one forward. In spite of the frustration, I never spanked them, but I did make good use of THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Each of them have told me that at times they would rather I had beat them to death than to show my disappointment in them. In spite of their rough starts, though, none of them ever got in any trouble with the police, they all carved out niches and careers that accommodated their unique qualities, and they all turned out to be good, loving parents with a firm grip on how to wield THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Now I get my ultimate revenge...they're parents. ahahahaha

You're right on that one. I adopted 4 kids with their own unique problems. Some days it seemed like we took 2 steps back for each one forward. In spite of the frustration, I never spanked them, but I did make good use of THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Each of them have told me that at times they would rather I had beat them to death than to show my disappointment in them. In spite of their rough starts, though, none of them ever got in any trouble with the police, they all carved out niches and careers that accommodated their unique qualities, and they all turned out to be good, loving parents with a firm grip on how to wield THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Now I get my ultimate revenge...they're parents. ahahahaha

[ Creates a small shrine to "Zooke the Great!" ] :D

I think you hit the nail on the head when you talked about continuing to learn and evolve and still enjoying "play." Those are two things that I think have worked to my advantage as far as staying young goes. Of course, there's nothing like being on stage in front of an audience if you want to stay young. ;)

I think you hit the nail on the head when you talked about continuing to learn and evolve and still enjoying "play." Those are two things that I think have worked to my advantage as far as staying young goes. Of course, there's nothing like being on stage in front of an audience if you want to stay young. ;)

This is true. One reason so many popular entertainers and politicians ( God help us! ) live so long is because adulation has a positive effect on the endocrine system.

Hmmm. [ Ponders how to get NSers to worship him. ] :D

[ Creates a small shrine to "Zooke the Great!" ] :D

Nah...I'm not so great. I just was blessed with a set of great parents and I have tried to raise my family just like they raised me.

BTW, as we are both older and have managed to survive parenthood, not to mention we both thoroughly enjoy grandparenting, what if we were to offer ourselves as the Unofficial Parents of NS. Young people who want parental advise could come to us. It would be entirely voluntary.

You're right on that one. I adopted 4 kids with their own unique problems. Some days it seemed like we took 2 steps back for each one forward. In spite of the frustration, I never spanked them, but I did make good use of THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Each of them have told me that at times they would rather I had beat them to death than to show my disappointment in them. In spite of their rough starts, though, none of them ever got in any trouble with the police, they all carved out niches and careers that accommodated their unique qualities, and they all turned out to be good, loving parents with a firm grip on how to wield THE DREADED GUILT TRIP. Now I get my ultimate revenge...they're parents. ahahahaha
Ah, yes, showing disappointment when it's deserved is quite effective! Particularly when combined with the loving upbringing I gather you gave them!!

BTW, as we are both older and have managed to survive parenthood, not to mention we both thoroughly enjoy grandparenting, what if we were to offer ourselves as the Unofficial Parents of NS. Young people who want parental advise could come to us. It would be entirely voluntary.
You and Eutrusca have already both given me lots of advice, just in this thread! For one, to remind myself about play... for another, ways to tell my parents thank you... and for a third, not to argue with an idiot when you want to impress other people! :)

(Yeah, Zooke, I really like your sig!)

Nah...I'm not so great. I just was blessed with a set of great parents and I have tried to raise my family just like they raised me.

BTW, as we are both older and have managed to survive parenthood, not to mention we both thoroughly enjoy grandparenting, what if we were to offer ourselves as the Unofficial Parents of NS. Young people who want parental advise could come to us. It would be entirely voluntary.

KEWL! I'm already e-Poppa to Peechland and Eichen. After you have the first two, the rest are relatively ... relatively, that is ... easy. :D

You and Eutrusca have already both given me lots of advice, just in this thread! For one, to remind myself about play... for another, ways to tell my parents thank you... and for a third, not to argue with an idiot when you want to impress other people! :)

(Yeah, Zooke, I really like your sig!)

I love her sig too. That quote is priceless.

Glad to have been able to offer something of value to you, bright lady. :)

KEWL! I'm already e-Poppa to Peechland and Eichen. After you have the first two, the rest are relatively ... relatively, that is ... easy. :D

I email with Corneliu once in a while...though since he started college last fall he's been busy and I haven't wanted to hinder his studies. His sister is a sweetie too. I've noticed a number of young people on here that seem to need some pointers on respect and etiquette, but I doubt they would seek it. I do notice a number of threads by young folks on how to handle some pretty standard day to day issues...boyfriend/girlfriend troubles, peer pressure, social issues, etc that they may not feel comfortable discussing with their parents. OK, do you want to start a thread with our idea? Do you think it will go over?

I email with Corneliu once in a while...though since he started college last fall he's been busy and I haven't wanted to hinder his studies. His sister is a sweetie too. I've noticed a number of young people on here that seem to need some pointers on respect and etiquette, but I doubt they would seek it. I do notice a number of threads by young folks on how to handle some pretty standard day to day issues...boyfriend/girlfriend troubles, peer pressure, social issues, etc. OK, do you want to start a thread with our idea? Do you think it will go over?
Well, if anyone's looking for an older e-sister, I'd be happy to fill that role. :)

I email with Corneliu once in a while...though since he started college last fall he's been busy and I haven't wanted to hinder his studies. His sister is a sweetie too. I've noticed a number of young people on here that seem to need some pointers on respect and etiquette, but I doubt they would seek it. I do notice a number of threads by young folks on how to handle some pretty standard day to day issues...boyfriend/girlfriend troubles, peer pressure, social issues, etc. OK, do you want to start a thread with our idea? Do you think it will go over?

Did you check your TGs yet? :)

Did you check your TGs yet? :)

I forget about those...hang on...BRB.

Well, if anyone's looking for an older e-sister, I'd be happy to fill that role. :)

[ Tries to imagine Prosophia as his "older e-sister." ] :eek:

All the statistics I have seen on the relationship between attitudes/beliefs and long life indicate that three primary factors have great weight: continuing to learn and grow for your entire lifetime, maintaining an attitude of joy and happiness, and continuing to enjoy "play."

When I was very young, about 9 or 10, I think, I went with some people to see a live performance of "Peter Pan." At that time a very talented young woman named Mary Martin was playing Peter Pan and did an outstanding job.

When she sang "Never Grow Up," I thought about how serious and stodgy all the adults in my life seemed to be and concluded that was NOT for me! I made the decision to never "grow up" in the sense of becoming someone who could never play and laugh and truly enjoy being alive.

I have been able to maintain that attitude to the present day, and God willing, will be the very same way to the day I die ( which will, hopefully, be a much later date than it would have been if I had forgotten how to "play" ).

Life is to be lived, and lived with joy and love and laughter. If, God forbid, I ever lose this approach to life, I sincerely hope someone shoots my stupid azz!

What do you think? And for the "adults" among us, what has helped keep you "young" enough to "play" here on NS and elsewhere? :)


If he were not so reactionary (and american) I could like this guy.

What has kept me young? A thorough contempt for the "Because that is the way it is done" crowd has to be the main factor. That and a collection of seriously eccentric friends.
Becoming a father helped, as I could then play without having to defend my right to.

[ Tries to imagine Prosophia as his "older e-sister." ] :eek: :rolleyes: Duh, you're the poppa, you can't have a 23-year-old e-sister! Gross!

People on NS = Attitude of joy
...
...
...
I dont see it. Especialy on general.

I disagree. I think Nation States is FUN. Sure, on general people debate big issues and there are always some mud-slingers, but in general Nation States is a place to play. If it wern't fun would so many people use it?

If he were not so reactionary (and american) I could like this guy.



A Russian exchange student I hosted once compared Americans to puppies. You never knew when they were going to wet on the floor in front of company and embarrass you, but you had to love them because they were so clueless to everyone else and cute. We may not all be cute, but many of us are clueless.

OK Eutrusca...TG answered. I'll send you my email address, too.

I disagree. I think Nation States is FUN. Sure, on general people debate big issues and there are always some mud-slingers, but in general Nation States is a place to play. If it wern't fun would so many people use it?I think you're totally right.

I gather you're fairly new to posting on the forums? Welcome! We're good people! :D

(I'm pretty new too, but dove right in!)

I think you're totally right.

I gather you're fairly new to posting on the forums? Welcome! We're good people! :D

(I'm pretty new too, but dove right in!)

It's fun, and it's a good place to get a better grip on world view. We Americans are isolated in our views. While other countries are smaller and a day trip can be made from one to the other, we're so large that dealing with the differences in ideas among ourselves makes us forget the world as a whole. On here I can better understand what people from other nations think and why they think that way. Hopefully, they, too, are getting a better perspective on the American culture.

:rolleyes: Duh, you're the poppa, you can't have a 23-year-old e-sister! Gross!

ROFLMAO!!! :D

If he were not so reactionary (and american) I could like this guy.

What has kept me young? A thorough contempt for the "Because that is the way it is done" crowd has to be the main factor. That and a collection of seriously eccentric friends.

Becoming a father helped, as I could then play without having to defend my right to.

Um ... thank you ... I think! :eek:

Isn't being a Dad great! I loved it! But being a grandfather is even greater. I can play with my grandchildren and give them back to their parents when they need a diaper change or get cranky, or even if I just get worn out. I can spoil them totally rotten, then remind their parents that they're still my children and, old though I may be, I can still whup their young azzez! Hehehe! :D

Um ... thank you ... I think! :eek:

Isn't being a Dad great! I loved it! But being a grandfather is even greater. I can play with my grandchildren and give them back to their parents when they need a diaper change or get cranky, or even if I just get worn out. I can spoil them totally rotten, then remind their parents that they're still my children and, old though I may be, I can still whup their young azzez! Hehehe! :D

Paybacks are great, aren't they? I especially like to send my grandkids home with a good sugar buzz. Mountain Dew is a parent's revenge.

<snip>

But being a grandfather is even greater. I can play with my grandchildren and give them back to their parents when they need a diaper change or get cranky, or even if I just get worn out. I can spoil them totally rotten, then remind their parents that they're still my children and, old though I may be, I can still whup their young azzez! Hehehe! :DYeah, I thought it might be kind of like that as a much older sister when my brother was born (I was almost 15). But then I realized that, while I wanted to show him an awesome time, I didn't want to totally spoil him because I care so much about him!

But we do have fun - and it's really incredible seeing him grow up into an intelligent, socially sensitive person!

Um ... thank you ... I think! :eek:

Isn't being a Dad great! I loved it! But being a grandfather is even greater. I can play with my grandchildren and give them back to their parents when they need a diaper change or get cranky, or even if I just get worn out. I can spoil them totally rotten, then remind their parents that they're still my children and, old though I may be, I can still whup their young azzez! Hehehe! :D

You are welcome, It was a compliment ... I think ;)

My son has the misfortune to live a very long way from his grandparents, and as such I have to be father and two grandfathers all rolled into one. Good practice though for when he grows up and I become a real grandfather. (It may never happen, but one can hope.)
Distance from grandparents is one of the bad things of the modern world.

Paybacks are great, aren't they? I especially like to send my grandkids home with a good sugar buzz. Mountain Dew is a parent's revenge.

That's evil

:rolleyes:

Yeah, I thought it might be kind of like that as a much older sister when my brother was born (I was almost 15). But then I realized that, while I wanted to show him an awesome time, I didn't want to totally spoil him because I care so much about him!

But we do have fun - and it's really incredible seeing him grow up into an intelligent, socially sensitive person!

Ah HA! That's probably one of the reasons you're so mature at 23. Helping to raise younger siblings often promotes maturity ( as long as it's not a chore that's forced upon you ).

BTW ... realizing at 15 that it's not good to totally spoil a child, and that one of the things loving someone often means saying "no" is rare. More and more impressive you are! :)

You are welcome, It was a compliment ... I think ;)

My son has the misfortune to live a very long way from his grandparents, and as such I have to be father and two grandfathers all rolled into one. Good practice though for when he grows up and I become a real grandfather. (It may never happen, but one can hope.)

Distance from grandparents is one of the bad things of the modern world.

I agree. My children have paid a rather high price for deciding to remain close to their mother and me, but they wouldn't have it any other way. I consider this to be one of the greatest compliments of my life. :)

Paybacks are great, aren't they? I especially like to send my grandkids home with a good sugar buzz. Mountain Dew is a parent's revenge.

ROFL!!! ZOOKE! Shame! Tsk! :D

All the statistics I have seen on the relationship between attitudes/beliefs and long life indicate that three primary factors have great weight: continuing to learn and grow for your entire lifetime, maintaining an attitude of joy and happiness, and continuing to enjoy "play."

When I was very young, about 9 or 10, I think, I went with some people to see a live performance of "Peter Pan." At that time a very talented young woman named Mary Martin was playing Peter Pan and did an outstanding job.

When she sang "Never Grow Up," I thought about how serious and stodgy all the adults in my life seemed to be and concluded that was NOT for me! I made the decision to never "grow up" in the sense of becoming someone who could never play and laugh and truly enjoy being alive.

I have been able to maintain that attitude to the present day, and God willing, will be the very same way to the day I die ( which will, hopefully, be a much later date than it would have been if I had forgotten how to "play" ).

Life is to be lived, and lived with joy and love and laughter. If, God forbid, I ever lose this approach to life, I sincerely hope someone shoots my stupid azz!

What do you think? And for the "adults" among us, what has helped keep you "young" enough to "play" here on NS and elsewhere? :)

You put into words exactly how I feel about the world.

You put into words exactly how I feel about the world.

Then you are indeed in the process of gaining wisdom! :)

Originally Posted by My wife
That's evil

Wait until you're a grandparent and then get back to me on that.

Wait until you're a grandparent and then get back to me on that.

LOL! He might have quite a wait, you know. :)

LOL! He might have quite a wait, you know. :)

Uh-huh, but it will give him the time and experience to appreciate the sentiment.

Isn't that the same speech Michael Jackson gave on that British documentary?

Ah HA! That's probably one of the reasons you're so mature at 23. Helping to raise younger siblings often promotes maturity ( as long as it's not a chore that's forced upon you ).

BTW ... realizing at 15 that it's not good to totally spoil a child, and that one of the things loving someone often means saying "no" is rare. More and more impressive you are! :)Interesting theory! I never thought about it that way...

*thinks for a bit*

Well, my brother was planned, and my mom had grown up more-or-less raising her sisters, so she didn't want me to go through that. Which meant that she and my step-dad didn't force me to do free babysitting services all the time - I had to babysit if they were out running errands for the family (like going grocery shopping), but if they were doing something less directly for the whole family (like my mom going to the gym), then I was always asked first and got paid the normal neighborhood rate. Which I imagine is pretty rare for older siblings!

And then, of course, I went off to college when my brother was 3, so in a lot of ways I've been more of a very close aunt to him.