NationStates Jolt Archive

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

I wasn't able to find them today. :(

I wasn't able to find them today. :(
Gold. Pure gold

Damn! (It's not just older men!) They got me ten times just on my lunch break! I can't beleive I kept buying the same things over and over again and putting them in the back of my car over and over!!! I must be reaaaallllly simple minded! :(

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

I wasn't able to find them today. :(
Wow. You're almost better than my grandfather. I say almost because he's much more of a crotchety old bastard. This is robably best illustrated by what he half-jokingly said whilst driving past the handicapped parking spaces outside bennigans. "Enough of this cripple bullshit." This was also the first time my g/f met him, so that was interesting. But yeah. Would you be my e-grandad?

I have something to tell you all...I was involved in the crimes. That's right....I was - THE NUDE WOMAN!

*puts on high voice*

I'm a-washin' in the nude,
A-washin' in the nude,
Don't look back because there's no-one there
Especially no-one stealing your stuff -
Look at mah boobs,
Look at mah boobs,
I'm a-runnin away now
Byeeee!

Damn! (It's not just older men!) They got me ten times just on my lunch break! I can't beleive I kept buying the same things over and over again and putting them in the back of my car over and over!!! I must be reaaaallllly simple minded! :(

Hehehe! Tsk! You should know better than to buy the same thing over and over. At least try a few different things! :D

I have something to tell you all...I was involved in the crimes. That's right....I was - THE NUDE WOMAN!

*puts on high voice*

I'm a-washin' in the nude,
A-washin' in the nude,
Don't look back because there's no-one there
Especially no-one stealing your stuff -
Look at mah boobs,
Look at mah boobs,
I'm a-runnin away now
Byeeee!
ROFLMAO!!

I have something to tell you all...I was involved in the crimes. That's right....I was - THE NUDE WOMAN!

*puts on high voice*

I'm a-washin' in the nude,
A-washin' in the nude,
Don't look back because there's no-one there
Especially no-one stealing your stuff -
Look at mah boobs,
Look at mah boobs,
I'm a-runnin away now
Byeeee!
ITS YOU!!!!!!!!

*jots down his address*
I leave for work at around 5:30AM most days, um... don't be there ok, I'll have lots of stuff in the back of my car... I uh, don't want it stolen! :D

ITS YOU!!!!!!!!

*jots down his address*
I leave for work at around 5:30AM most days, um... don't be there ok, I'll have lots of stuff in the back of my car... I uh, don't want it stolen! :D
How about just me, no thief? :eek:

Ugh, I'm so stupid. I don't get it. Damn cars.

Anyway I was thinking that Eutrusca should adopt all of us as our e-grandaddy.

Lol

How about just me, no thief? :eek:
Hey! Thats a great idea!!! :fluffle:

Hehehe! Tsk! You should know better than to buy the same thing over and over. At least try a few different things! :D
Thats what she said! She said she would stop stealing if I went back and bought... well actually she gave me a list, hang on I'll grab it...


*thinks*


...wait a damn minute here...




...why would I want to buy all this jewelry?

Hey! Thats a great idea!!! :fluffle:
*makes note to bring thief along anyway*

*pauses*

*makes note to type in smaller type next time*

Err...Look at mah Boobs!

*makes note to bring thief along anyway*

*pauses*

*makes note to type in smaller type next time*

Err...Look at mah Boobs!

What was that? something about a... I mean a.. oh wow... :eek:

What was that? something about a... I mean a.. oh wow... :eek:
Damn straight you're appreciative. It took me twenty minutes and £5 to get these beatiful novelty devil's dumplings. Look at that craftsmanship!

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

I wasn't able to find them today. :(
*drives around with a bunch of empty grocery bags in car*

LOCK THE CAR DOORS!!!Seriously...

I always lock them once I get into the car. Sometimes pisses my friends off though, because it's comes naturally, like I just jump into the car, lock the car before I even start the engine. :p

I had one time, my friend stopped at the red light, this man jump into his car on the left (we drive on the left side of the road, so we seat on the right) demanding money with a knife. My friend panicked and floored his accelerator, crashed into another car. The guy who jumped into his car didn't wear a safety belt and was thrown through the windscreen some 30 feet.

My friend survived A-ok though. Few cuts and bruises. Had to go to the police and stuff, and they handled the rest. The robber didn't die, but he didn't filed charges. :p

Compared to some obliviated evenings at the strip club, I'd say you got off easily! ;)

Hehehe! Tsk! You should know better than to buy the same thing over and over. At least try a few different things! :D
LIke condoms...and other suggestive material...

Whoa, that scam must only happen in America. I've never seen nude women walking around washing windows in Australia before...ever.

LOL good joke Eutrusca!!! :)

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

I wasn't able to find them today. :(

In my country, my police force would deal with them swiftly and harshly :)

Theres nothing to steal in the back of my car.

I herd about one of those that went wrong. They opened the back door... And were kicked in the face by the rear seat FEMALE passenger who wasn't paying attention.

The knocked out dude was then taken into custody. Apparently he's looking at about 3 years for it. Oh yeah, and the lady was done for aiding in a criminal act and indecent exposure.

*disguises himself as a box of jewelry, and waits patiently in back seat, dreaming of Longton's boobs*

You don't lock the car doors? :confused:

This was the funniest thing I've read in ages!

You don't lock the car doors? :confused:
While driving in it? WHY?

While driving in it? WHY?

So people don't open them and steal everything inside :D.

Also, helps stop carjackers.

I'm just glad I don't have any back doors on my car :D.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

7 times?!?! Apart from anything else, how can they steal everything from your car 7 times in one day? Do they put it back and take it again? Seriously, how much stuff do you have in the back of your car?

While driving in it? WHY?

This scam seems to rely on people not locking their cars. :)
That's unless your car door locks are really dodgy.

*sifts through her newly amassed fortune*

I need a new squeegee I think......

You don't lock the car doors? :confused:

I don't lock the car doors, even when it's parked, nor do I usually lock the doors to my house, whether I'm here or not. It's a function of the place where I live. Small towns with nosey neighbors and mean police usually have very low crime rates! :D

I'm just glad I don't have any back doors on my car :D.

yeah a 2door fixes em.


7 times?!?! Apart from anything else, how can they steal everything from your car 7 times in one day? Do they put it back and take it again? Seriously, how much stuff do you have in the back of your car?
you do realise he was joking?

I don't lock the car doors, even when it's parked, nor do I usually lock the doors to my house, whether I'm here or not. It's a function of the place where I live. Small towns with nosey neighbors and mean police usually have very low crime rates! :D

Where I live, that used to happen. Now everyone locks everything.

Where I live, that used to happen. Now everyone locks everything.
yeah it used to be good, not bad for a nation that started from a bunch of convicts

you do realise he was joking?

*Looks around nervously*

Yes... of course!

*Runs away*

yeah it used to be good, not bad for a nation that started from a bunch of convicts

Well, at least we don't have armed students like the US yet.

Well, at least we don't have armed students like the US yet.
yet....

yet....

We are becoming little America :(

I demand you start singing about looking at boobs again!

We are becoming little America :(
me thinks Bush and Howard were separated at birth then the monkey breeding program released them into the wild

[/hijack]

Well, at least we don't have armed students like the US yet.

Armed students??? :eek:

*disguises himself as a box of jewelry, and waits patiently in back seat, dreaming of Longton's boobs*

Longton has better boobs than FairyTinkArisen??? :eek:

Where I live, that used to happen. Now everyone locks everything.

It helps when the crooks know that about 1 in every 20 citizens owns at least one gun, and that 1 in about every 30 has a concealed carry permit. Even stupid criminals don't relish the idea that breaking into a home where the lil 80 year ole lady has a 357 Magnum and will blow his freakin' head off wid it! Hehehe!

Longton has better boobs than FairyTinkArisen??? :eek:
:eek: you dirty old man :D

Yep.

:eek: you dirty old man :D

Well, I use to be a "dirty young man," but now I'm old so draw your own conclusions! :D

Well, I use to be a "dirty young man," but now I'm old so draw your own conclusions! :D
:D lol
your a champ

Well, I use to be a "dirty young man," but now I'm old so draw your own conclusions! :D


LOL.....Poppy! :eek:

LOL.....Poppy! :eek:

Hey there, e-daughter! :fluffle:

What? You're surprised that there are sexy senior citizens? :D

Meh. Boobs give me no interest... I've seen too many of them.

*Sigh* I'm so desperately lonely.

:D lol
your a champ

Thank you, thank you. No applause, please ... just throw money! :D

Meh. Boobs give me no interest... I've seen too many of them.

*Sigh* I'm so desperately lonely.
:( I thought we had cheered you up

Thank you, thank you. No applause, please ... just throw money! :D

*Pelts Eutrusca with pennies*

MWAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil...

:( I thought we had cheered you up

I'm happy, I'm just lonely too.

*Pelts Eutrusca with pennies*

MWAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil...

[ Finds rare penny worth $2,000 in the lot. Jumps up and down! ] :D

[ Finds rare penny worth $2,000 in the lot. Jumps up and down! ] :D
*RAGE!*

http://img99.exs.cx/img99/2592/satan4mu5mc.jpg

I'm happy, I'm just lonely too.

Awww, poor TIN-man! Tsk!

Wanna know some secrets to finding the right woman? ;)

*belts Eutrusca with one of those huge novelty checks*

*RAGE!*

http://img99.exs.cx/img99/2592/satan4mu5mc.jpg


Eeep! :eek:

*belts Eutrusca with one of those huge novelty checks*

Heh! Grabs it, rolls it up into a ball and shoves it ... well ... you get the picture! :D

Awww, poor TIN-man! Tsk!

Wanna know some secrets to finding the right woman? ;)

go ahead and Shoot. I've got nothing to loose.

*Sits down and awaits lesson*

Heh! Grabs it, rolls it up into a ball and shoves it ... well ... you get the picture! :D
*akwardly walks away*

Awww, poor TIN-man! Tsk!

Wanna know some secrets to finding the right woman? ;)
*takes notes*

I'm a-rubbing mah boobs
All over the windscreen.
Look at the soap-suds,
And where they go
But definitely don't look
Just behind you
There is no man
Stealing your stuff
BREASTS! (.)(.)!

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red-light a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Monday and 5 times Wednesday.

I wasn't able to find them today. :(

you look the gift horse in the mouth, sir. at least you got to view a real live naked girl :p

go ahead and Shoot. I've got nothing to loose.

*Sits down and awaits lesson*

1. Become the best "you" you can be ( make yourself interesting! )

2. Hang out at churches, hospitals, airports, colleges and public schools ( be careful with that last one! ) Heh!

3. Pay careful attention to the looks you get from women.

4. Exude confidence, but don't be over-confident, strike a nice balance.

5. Best intro: "Hi! My name is ______. What's yours?" ( SMILE when you say that! ) :)

6. Best follow-up line: "What do you do in your free time?"

7. Best follow-up line after that: "Great! Want to __________?" ( ask if she would like to do something related to what she said she does with her free time. Alternatively, if you know nothing about what she mentions: "Wow! That sounds interesting. I know virtually nothing about that. Would you mind telling me more over coffee?" )

8. Repeat step 5-7 as needed. :)

5. Best intro: "Hi! My name is ______. What's yours?"

8. Repeat steps 5-7 as needed. :)

Repeatly tell them your name?

Repeatly tell them your name?

Eeep! Sorry about that! I should have mentioned "as needed when talking with other women!" Heh! :headbang:

Eeep! Sorry about that! I should have mentioned "as needed when talking with other women!" Heh! :headbang:
Actually, just standing in front of her shouting "Nick. Nick. Nick." worked for me. It took four sleepless days, but eventually she got the message. :D

Actually, just standing in front of her shouting "Nick. Nick. Nick." worked for me. It took four sleepless days, but eventually she got the message. :D
I know that one...

*says 'Martin' to random woman. repeatedly. for 3 years*

WOMAN (at first): Go away

WOMAN (3yrs later): I want your babies!

I know that one...

*says 'Martin' to random woman. repeatedly. for 3 years*

WOMAN (at first): Go away

WOMAN (3yrs later): I want your babies!

ROFLMAO!!! AS IF! :D

I want you guys to know that you just made my day. this is freakin hilarious! :D

ROFLMAO!!! AS IF! :D
clearly you've never tried it.
heh, from the mouths of babes, as it were. :D

ROFLMAO!!! AS IF! :D
It works if you add some subliminal messaging. Watch.

Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.Sleep with me Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.You think I'm hot Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.I'm just a love machine Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.Do it Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. You want meMartin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Gimme some luvvinMartin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.

Awww, poor TIN-man! Tsk!

Wanna know some secrets to finding the right woman? ;)
Seems I found the right woman about 3 years ago, but she was a minor, we never had much reason to talk, and we just spent those three years secretly admiring one another, and once we found reason to talk, it only took us about 2 weeks to realize we could very likely spend the rest of our lives together.

My best advice is, keep your eyes open, but don't go searching for it, because once you find the right woman, things should just naturally fall into place. Not saying you shouldn't take his advice, but that you should be meeting girls on the terms of getting to know them as friends and see if it develops into more. Trying to start a relationship with someone the moment you meet them may work out every now and then, but it's also quite likely to end badly at some point down the road...

Only 7 times? They got 15 times on my way home from work. 21 times while I was riding my bike to the drug store. 15 times last night. and 47 times in the middle of the day.

*looks for anyone named Martin*

Can I buy you a drink?

Only 7 times? They got 15 times on my way home from work. 21 times while I was riding my bike to the drug store. 15 times last night. and 47 times in the middle of the day.
Why don't you just shout your penis is bigger than everyone elses and get it over with :p

*looks for anyone named Martin*

Can I buy you a drink?
Juuuust come into my 'office' *cough* brothel *cough*

It works if you add some subliminal messaging. Watch.

Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.Sleep with me Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.You think I'm hot Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.I'm just a love machine Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.Do it Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. You want meMartin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Gimme some luvvinMartin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin. Martin.
That is quite possibly the funniest thing i've read all day. I have to thank you for that.

That is quite possibly the funniest thing i've read all day. I have to thank you for that.
I live to serve. And to get laid using hypnotism love me

I live to serve. And to get laid using hypnotism love me
That might be crazy enough to work. All the power to you.