NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, I went to see Constatine finally today (it was sold out the other day when I tried).
I have to say, I was very surprised and impressed. I went along thinking they were going to screw up yet another comic series. I must admit I haven't read too many Hellblazer comics - they came out when I was going through a no-comic reading phase and when I read them a few years later I found them a bit hard to get into, as I'd missed all the early issues. So my review is from someone who's a comic geek (and extremely critical of Hollywood adaptions), but not a Hellblazer comic geek.
As an action movie, it's very good. Lots of cool action sequences and some excellent scenes - like when Constantine goes to Hell or when he's attacked by a demon composed of nothing but snakes and cockroaches. And the demons are cool (rotting faces, distorted bodies). Also a nice touch was Satan - immaculately dressed in a white suit, but barefoot and his feet were covered in black grease/sewerage/blood (or something similar). Actually, if anyone knows the actor who played Satan pls tell me. It's bugging me, cause he's real familar but I can't place him.
The biggest disappointment is Keanu Reeves. He can't act at all. The differences between Keanu looking sad to Keanu looking angry to Keanu looking happy to Keanu looking constipated are infinitessimal. He especially can't do someone who is very angry at the World. But the action makes up for it. The quiet bits are mercifully short and there's no romantic subplot - they've obviously decided it wasn't going to be anything more than an action movie.
It does feel a bit rushed at times, but I assume that's because they were trying to fit several Hellblazer comics into one 2 hour movie. So most of the characters aren't that well fleshed out. Like one character who's Constantine sidekick (no explanantion as to why), and then disappears from the screen for over an hour (again, no explanation as to where he's gone), only to reappear at the end for the finale.
So I would recommend going to watch Constantine, as long as you go along expecting a very decent action movie, and nothing else. As I said I went along expecting a shite movie and came away content. As 'The Critic' says "I give this my highest rating out of 10 - 7!"

Oh, and Kung Hei Fat Choi! The fireworks here were awesome, as usual.

I'm boycotting that movie on principle. The billboards all say "Constantine(tm)" so now I'm afraid that if I talk to my buddy of the same name, DC will sue me for illegal use of trademark.

Think about how your buddy must feel. DC might sue him for using their name!

I've been a fan of the character of John Constantine since his early appearances in the _Swamp Thing_ comics, and I enjoyed Constantine's solo series, _Hellblazer_. If the best you could say of the new movie _Constantine_ is that it's an excellent action flick--and nothing more--then the makers should have called the damn thing something else, then! Constantine's not an action hero.

John Constantine's a complex character; he might be real antihero material, but he's not very impressed at the thought. He's bold and brash, foul-mouthed, courageous, loyal--and a selfish bastard to boot. He's mystically savvy and he's haunted by dead friends. He's also a heavy-smoking, heavy-drinking Cockney with a very low tolerance for shite, anybody's shite...whether it's the the PM, the Pope, the devil or God Himself that's dumping the shite on him. He just doesn't take shite from _anyone_--and as a result, often finds himself the pivot of Reality-shaking events.

And the movie-makers wanted _Keanu "I haven't been convincing in a role since the 'Bill and Ted' movies" Reeves_ for the title role?

That's ridiculous.

Have you noticed that movies about Marvel Comics heroes--eg. Spiderman, the X-Men, Daredevil--are consistently pretty good movies, while movies featuring the DC heroes--Batman (x4), Superman (x4), Constantine--are consistently dreadful? Perhaps it has something to do with Marvel still being an independant corporate entity, while DC is owned by Time-Warner, so no longer has any right of refusal on any of the idiotic things T-W wants to do with their characters.

<sigh> I'm a big DC fan, so I keep hoping....

I dont know, the first 2 superman films were ok (and I must confess to not having seen the other 2); and I think the first Batman movie wasn't too bad (I mean the first of the movie series, not the movie based on the TV series). I guess you don't have high hopes for the new Batman film though!

I've been a fan of the character of John Constantine since his early appearances in the _Swamp Thing_ comics, and I enjoyed Constantine's solo series, _Hellblazer_. If the best you could say of the new movie _Constantine_ is that it's an excellent action flick--and nothing more--then the makers should have called the damn thing something else, then! Constantine's not an action hero.

John Constantine's a complex character; he might be real antihero material, but he's not very impressed at the thought. He's bold and brash, foul-mouthed, courageous, loyal--and a selfish bastard to boot. He's mystically savvy and he's haunted by dead friends. He's also a heavy-smoking, heavy-drinking Cockney with a very low tolerance for shite, anybody's shite...whether it's the the PM, the Pope, the devil or God Himself that's dumping the shite on him. He just doesn't take shite from _anyone_--and as a result, often finds himself the pivot of Reality-shaking events.

And the movie-makers wanted _Keanu "I haven't been convincing in a role since the 'Bill and Ted' movies" Reeves_ for the title role?

That's ridiculous.

Have you noticed that movies about Marvel Comics heroes--eg. Spiderman, the X-Men, Daredevil--are consistently pretty good movies, while movies featuring the DC heroes--Batman (x4), Superman (x4), Constantine--are consistently dreadful? Perhaps it has something to do with Marvel still being an independant corporate entity, while DC is owned by Time-Warner, so no longer has any right of refusal on any of the idiotic things T-W wants to do with their characters.

<sigh> I'm a big DC fan, so I keep hoping....
Yes, I've noticed that about Marvel/DC movies. DC movies certainly come out second-best. Marvel cross-overs are far superior, aside from Daredevil (a black Kingpin and Bullseye looking and acting like a reject from a Village People audition? Who thought of that shit?).
But if you want probably the worst comic-movie crossovers, read "From Hell" then watch the movie. If that doesn't upset you, do the same for "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". That should make you wild. Someone in Hollywood must just absolutely HATE Alan Moore.

Getting back to Constantine: As I said, I've only read a few Hellblazer comics, so couldn't comment as to the accuracy of it. So go along expecting an action movie and you won't be disappointed. Aside from Keanu being way unsuited for the role - even I could see that and I'm not a Hellblazer afficinado - it's a decent flick. Not one that'll make you feel the need to see again anytime soon, but a good diversion on a cold wet weekend afternoon.

Speaking of Swamp Thing, didn't they make a Swamp Thing movie a few years back? I'm guessing shite? Am I right?
Shame really. If it had been made from Alan Moore's writing, it would have been awesome.

I dont know, the first 2 superman films were ok (and I must confess to not having seen the other 2); and I think the first Batman movie wasn't too bad (I mean the first of the movie series, not the movie based on the TV series). I guess you don't have high hopes for the new Batman film though!
The new Superman film should be dreadful. About 8 actors turned down the staring role (including Nicholas Cage, who would have been an inspired choice) and now it's a nobody from Oz doing it. Lots of re-writes, different directors.
It's got TURKEY written all over it.

Ridley Scott's new movie about the Crusades looks good though. Saw the previews before Constantine. Remind me - has Ridley ever made a truly crap movie? I can't think of any.

Yes, I've noticed that about Marvel/DC movies. DC movies certainly come out second-best. Marvel cross-overs are far superior, aside from Daredevil (a black Kingpin and Bullseye looking and acting like a reject from a Village People audition? Who thought of that shit?).

No, no, no, no. DC had the Burton Batman flicks, which rocked, and the first two Superman flicks, which rocked.

Meanwhile, Marvel does put up some successes (X-Men, Spiderman), but for every winner there's an absolutely unwatchable Dolph Lundgren "Punisher," a "Captain America," a "Daredevil," an "Elektra."

Yeah, maybe DC pushed their two flagship franchises too far, but the new Batman is gonna be a return to form (Bale is a phenomenal casting selection). Meanwhile, "Blade Trinity" has shown that Marvel can push their franchises too far as well.

No, no, no, no. DC had the Burton Batman flicks, which rocked, and the first two Superman flicks, which rocked.

Meanwhile, Marvel does put up some successes (X-Men, Spiderman), but for every winner there's an absolutely unwatchable Dolph Lundgren "Punisher," a "Captain America," a "Daredevil," an "Elektra."

Yeah, maybe DC pushed their two flagship franchises too far, but the new Batman is gonna be a return to form (Bale is a phenomenal casting selection). Meanwhile, "Blade Trinity" has shown that Marvel can push their franchises too far as well.
Certainly Superman I and II were great and true to the comics but 25 years ago, and Batman I captured some of the essence of Batman. But again that was 17 years ago now. We're talking more of recent times, with comparing Spiderman and X-Men to DC movies.
That said, Daredevil was shit, as was the latest Punisher movie. He spent almost the entire time doing sod-all until the end. And only went after one really bad guy, unlike in the comics where he was always on the borderline of attacking anyone commiting any type of crime. That's what made him so cool.
And Blade trinity hopefully will be the last in the series - what with all the vampires dying.


I'd like to see someone do some of America's Best Comics. Tom Strong would be good, but definitely Top Ten. That would be awesome.

I pesonaly think the best comic movie in recent times is Hellboy

I pesonaly think the best comic movie in recent times is Hellboy

Seconded. You can also leave out the "movie" part of that sentence. Sin City looks promising as well.

..but the new Batman is gonna be a return to form (Bale is a phenomenal casting selection)
I couldn't agree more. Pity they didn't cast Bale for John Constantine, or David Thewlis (who would have been perfect for that part--just watch Naked) instead of stick-boy.

Sin city does look cool my only worry is that it has that stupid chick from 2 fast 2 furious

Have you noticed that movies about Marvel Comics heroes--eg. Spiderman, the X-Men, Daredevil--are consistently pretty good movies,
Alright, I'm sorry but Daredevil sucked major ass.

Just waiting Sin City....

I pesonaly think the best comic movie in recent times is Hellboy

I admit the characters and setup were great but the only good actor in that whole movie was Ron Perlman who played the title role.

Everyone else sucked.

BTW did anyone notice Hellboy is Blade with a new set of clothes. Supernatural child, raised to fight enemies that are like himself, father figure dies (they cheated a bit in Blade II...anyway...), hero gets his revenge on his adoptive father's murderer.

Alright, I'm sorry but Daredevil sucked major ass.
I don't see people's beef with Daredevil, yeah, they did get rid of most of his coolness my making him itno 'random blind man who knows kung fu+sound sight'. The movie spent to much time researching real blind people and not enough researching Daredevil (supposedly his sense of touch is so good that all the shit of folding bills special ways wouldn't be necessary). Also, casting needed help (Ben Affleck not being that great of a choice). And frankly, the black kingpin didn't bother me much. And Bullseye's design was MUCH better than in the comic, if he had dressed the way he did in the comic, I'd have spent the entire movie laughing at his tacky spandex wearing ass. The problem with Keanu is he's a big name (thanks to the matrix (1st one good, 2nd and third utter trash) Btw, I don't believe that they were all written at once, because the quality wouldn't drop like a ton of bricks like it did). Hollywood doesn't believe you can get people to see a movie unless an already established 'actor' is playing the title role. For instance Hollywood tried to get 'The Rock' to play hellboy, but the director, actually being a fan, flat out said "No". Thats why Marvel Movies end up being better, instead of a group of movie execs deciding everything, Stan Lee has his hand in everything.

No, no. Hellboy is much different and much better than Blade. The "father figure dies" is not a valid similarity because the death of the mentor is a major movie cliche. By that token, half the movies made are like Blade. Or Blade is like Star Wars.

If you want to talk about source material, Hellboy is a Lovecraft knockoff. But Mignola draws on all kinds of other myths for his books, not just having Hellboy fight others of his kind. Heck, he fights Nazi occultists, so he's an Indy knockoff too!

Hellboy draws on a lot of sources, but not Blade.

And Leetonia, Lee ain't with Marvel anymore. They had a bad breakup.

Peter Stormare (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001780/)

I recognized him from The Big Lebowski and Fargo, but those might not be the movies you remember him from.

I admit the characters and setup were great but the only good actor in that whole movie was Ron Perlman who played the title role.

Everyone else sucked.

BTW did anyone notice Hellboy is Blade with a new set of clothes. Supernatural child, raised to fight enemies that are like himself, father figure dies (they cheated a bit in Blade II...anyway...), hero gets his revenge on his adoptive father's murderer.
Yes, but Hellboy doesn't angst. If we really want to play that game though, you can turn every Superhero movie identical. Besides, a closer paralel is Thing. Hellboy and Thing both have the 'pick-up a pillar and beat you with it' sense of directness.

Edit:
Btw, same director, which explains most of the similarity between the movies
(also, comic series are drastically different)

And Leetonia, Lee ain't with Marvel anymore. They had a bad breakup.
He still created about half of their characters and has executive producer credits on nearly all the marvel movies.

He still created about half of their characters and has executive producer credits on nearly all the marvel movies.

I know. I'm just thinking about the recent lawsuit and that, if Lee gets the props for the recent movies' successes, things might be bleak for Marvel's upcoming flicks.

I know. I'm just thinking about the recent lawsuit and that, if Lee gets the props for the recent movies' successes, things might be bleak for Marvel's upcoming flicks.
btw, can I get a link to the story? This is the first I heard of this, (I'm not a big US comic guy, only series I actually read anymore is Ultimate Spiderman, I just have a pretty good knowledge base due in no small parts to friends)

Here you go. DOW newswire. It's a lotta lotta loot, butMarvel's appealed it. Lee probably deserves it. I mean he made the company.

http://www.smartmoney.com/bn/ON/index.cfm?story=ON-20050119-000850-0952&nav=ibs

Doesn't look like a break, looks like (parallel, didn't happen) the Paul from Microsoft (who has equal share anyway) suing Microsoft for more royalties.

He's with these guys now.

http://www.popimage.com/profile/062700stanleemedia.html

Also POW! entertainment.

Maybe he's still got a concurrent job with Marvel, but I thought he was out of there.