NationStates Jolt Archive

Lookit! There are over 300 proofs here!
Clicky! (http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm)
;)

Lookit! There are over 300 proofs here!
Clicky! (http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm)
;)

Well, the debate is over, folks. What shall we do now? ;)

ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists

I like the slasher argument.
1 My toaster is god
2 Therefore god exists.

That's too long for me, my brain melted when it didn't end at 101. Regardless, the ones that I seen were quite funny.
You find a lot of strange stuff on the internet.

1. My shoes are talking to me.
2. Therefore, god exists.

3. This S**t is awsome.
4. Therefore, god exists.

(Note I am not a dope smoker, just looking for humor.)

DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

Tread this path carefully... deductive reasoning is a double-edged blade....

Tread this path carefully... deductive reasoning is a double-edged blade....

How did you come to that conclusion?

I like the moral argument:

(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

bed-wetting bastard has a certain ring to it.

How did you come to that conclusion?

Don't get me wrong, I'm religious, but:

deductive reasoning is :
1. presumptions and fallable 90% of the time.
2. Easily offensive

I just don't want any flaming to go on "unexpectedly."

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.


god I love that lol

Don't get me wrong, I'm religious, but:

deductive reasoning is :
1. presumptions and fallable 90% of the time.
2. Easily offensive

I just don't want any flaming to go on "unexpectedly."

I wasn't worried about whether you were religious or not. And flaming is hardly unexpected on this forum. :D

Hee, this reminds me of DF:

ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

OMG! every theological argument I've ever seen in this forum, all in one page!

Now I can just categorize, ignore and dismiss it whenever the anti-rationalists feed me another bit of nonsense they claim is an argument in favor of theism. I mean, I already ignored and dismissed it before, but my own attempts at categorization were much clumsier and incomplete than this handy reference.

OMG! every theological argument I've ever seen in this forum, all in one page!

Now I can just categorize, ignore and dismiss it whenever the anti-rationalists feed me another bit of nonsense they claim is an argument in favor of theism. I mean, I already ignored and dismissed it before, but my own attempts at categorization were much clumsier and incomplete than this handy reference.

There are anti-rationalists? Other than myself, of course.

ARGUMENT FROM BEER (II)
(1) Christian: Whatever you believe in is your god.
(2) Atheist: I believe I'll have another beer.
(3) Ha ha.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

I beleive I'll have a beer, goddammit!

Just like it’s theoretically possible for a ’57 Chevy to be orbiting Mars, some gods are also theoretically possible, but ridiculously improbable.
I love that quote. It totally ignores the fact that the probability of evolutionary processes resulting in the world we have today is much less than the probability of evolutionary processes resulting in a ’57 Chevy orbiting Mars.

According to evolution, clay and mud could eventually fuse themself into an ordinary brick. The probability is remote, but it does exist. Therefore, given enough time, it should happen. The chance that many such bricks would be formed, and themselves form a building, complete with heating and ventilation, etc, is also remote, but similarly does exist, although it is exponentially less probable than the forming of a single brick. However, given enough time, it could happen. In fact, given an infinite amount of time, it HAS to happen. So why not a ’57 Chevy orbiting Mars? It sounds to me like they just admitted that the existence of God is more likely than their own far-fetched theory.

According to evolution, clay and mud could eventually fuse themself into an ordinary brick.
:confused:
Evolution was about living beings, last time I checked.

There are anti-rationalists? Other than myself, of course.

Anti-rationalism was my euphemism for stupid people.

I only flicked thru them all, but I didn't see a Jack Chick one.
I would hazzard it would go something like this:
(1) God hates everyone and is sending everyone to Hell who doesn't agree with me and follow my narrow, warped idea of Christianity.
(2) Especially Catholics. God's set aside a special part of Hell for those bastards.
(3) Catholics don't like me.
(4) Therefore God exists.

According to evolution, clay and mud could eventually fuse themself into an ordinary brick. The probability is remote, but it does exist. Therefore, given enough time, it should happen. The chance that many such bricks would be formed, and themselves form a building, complete with heating and ventilation, etc, is also remote, but similarly does exist, although it is exponentially less probable than the forming of a single brick. However, given enough time, it could happen. In fact, given an infinite amount of time, it HAS to happen. So why not a ’57 Chevy orbiting Mars? It sounds to me like they just admitted that the existence of God is more likely than their own far-fetched theory.

1 - Evolution makes no such claims. You sound like you're talking about quantum physics instead.

2 - Just because something CAN happen doesn't mean it WILL happen - and it certainly does not mean it MUST ALREADY HAVE happened.

3 - Your conclusion is totally illogical and unreasonable and shows you lack understanding about most things. Remind me to never get in the car with you driving since you could believe God will compensate for your poor driving skills.

I love that quote. It totally ignores the fact that the probability of evolutionary processes resulting in the world we have today is much less than the probability of evolutionary processes resulting in a ’57 Chevy orbiting Mars.

According to evolution, clay and mud could eventually fuse themself into an ordinary brick. The probability is remote, but it does exist. Therefore, given enough time, it should happen. The chance that many such bricks would be formed, and themselves form a building, complete with heating and ventilation, etc, is also remote, but similarly does exist, although it is exponentially less probable than the forming of a single brick. However, given enough time, it could happen. In fact, given an infinite amount of time, it HAS to happen. So why not a ’57 Chevy orbiting Mars? It sounds to me like they just admitted that the existence of God is more likely than their own far-fetched theory.
While I don’t want to get into an evolution argument

Evolution has NOTHING to do with creation of life

That’s a different theory abiogenists … which’s validity does not reflect on the separate evolutionary theory

Sorry


That is like you saying (in the spirit of simplification)

“A is improbable possibly less probable then god (though I don’t understand how that probability is derived”
“So B didn’t happen” (though B has nothing to do with A)

Therefore god exists

While I don’t want to get into an evolution argument

Evolution has NOTHING to do with creation of life

That’s a different theory abiogenists … which’s validity does not reflect on the separate evolutionary theory

Sorry


That is like you saying (in the spirit of simplification)

“A is improbable possibly less probable then god (though I don’t understand how that probability is derived”
“So B didn’t happen” (though B has nothing to do with A)

Therefore god exists
It's:

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

I only flicked thru them all, but I didn't see a Jack Chick one.
I would hazzard it would go something like this:
(1) God hates everyone and is sending everyone to Hell who doesn't agree with me and follow my narrow, warped idea of Christianity.
(2) Especially Catholics. God's set aside a special part of Hell for those bastards.
(3) Catholics don't like me.
(4) Therefore God exists.

Not hard enough

#161
ARGUMENT FROM CHICK
(1) I have all these cool Jesus comics.
(2) I also think Eternal is smart with all those great arguments.
(3) Those comics sure convinced me!
(4) Therefore, God exists.

PEACOCK ARGUMENT FROM SELECTIVE MEMORY
(1) [Christian asks "stumper" question]
(2) [Atheist answers question]
(3) [A lapse of time]
(4) [Christian repeats question]
(5) [Atheist repeats answer]
(6) [A lapse of time]
(7) [Christian repeats question]
(8) [Atheist repeats answer]
(9) [A lapse of time]
(10) Atheist, you never answered my question.
(11) Therefore, God exists.

It's:

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.
lol I posted that one as my favorite (like 10 lines up) :-D

Also fits under this arguement

# TERCEL’S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM PROBABILITY)
(1) We should believe what probably is true.
(2) I have arbitrarily assigned the proposition “God exists” a probability of 0.75.
(3) That probability came from my ass, which I know assigns extremely accurate probabilities to propositions concerning the existence of God.
(4) So God probably exists.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

Reincarnation exists as a primitive form of evolution our spirits are passed down through our children with over many thousands of years evolvivng evolving each person adds their own little piece to the jigsaw if you practice your music daily for your whole life this adds to the next generation or if your really evil anyhow my goal of nirvana or enlightenment would be the perfect person that would be god like after many generations :fluffle: :mad: :sniper:

Reincarnation exists as a primitive form of evolution our spirits are passed down through our children with over many thousands of years evolvivng evolving each person adds their own little piece to the jigsaw if you practice your music daily for your whole life this adds to the next generation or if your really evil anyhow my goal of nirvana or enlightenment would be the perfect person that would be god like after many generations :fluffle: :mad: :sniper:
While a nice thought no more proof of this then there is of the christian god

Reincarnation exists as a primitive form of evolution our spirits are passed down through our children with over many thousands of years evolvivng evolving each person adds their own little piece to the jigsaw if you practice your music daily for your whole life this adds to the next generation or if your really evil anyhow my goal of nirvana or enlightenment would be the perfect person that would be god like after many generations :fluffle: :mad: :sniper:

I believe in reincarnation, but not in god. I mean, there is this theory I created that is just as scientific as "´cause I said so", but I think reincarnation is a natural physical process that deals with non-mystic energies that we simply don´t recognize.
But of course, since I´m not an expert in nothing, I can´t really expect someone else besides me to believe that. (I also have theories that heaven exists, but still, no god)

Anti-rationalism was my euphemism for stupid people.

Ah. Someone who holds a different philosophical position from you = stupid person. That's a fairly common viewpoint.

ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL
(1) I DO believe in God! I DO believe in God! I do I do I do I DO believe in God!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCREDULITY
(1) How could God NOT exist, you bozo?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM HISTORY
(1) The Bible is true.
(2) Therefore, the Bible is historical fact.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENTATION
(1) God exists.
(2) [Atheist's counterargument]
(3) Yes he does.
(4) [Atheist's counterargument]
(5) Yes he does!
(6) [Atheist's counterargument]
(7) YES HE DOES!!!
(8) [Atheist gives up and goes home]
(9) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that Atheists are laughable morons.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about theism -- but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
(2) Therefore, Atheists are laughable morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN NECESSITY
(1) Atheists say that they don't need God.
(2) Which just goes to show that they need God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some Atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That's why they don't believe in God.
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

MR. GOODSALT'S ARGUMENT (ARGUMENT FROM GENERAL INQUIRY)
(1) Question for Atheist population: [apparently random question]
(2) Your answer is wrong.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX"
(1) We cannot prove that we don't live in a Matrix-like world.
(2) Therefore we cannot know reality.
(3) If reality is contingent, then everything is possible.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM POSTMODERNISM
(1) I'm going to prove to you that God exists.
(2) [insert any of the other arguments on this page in here]
(3) [Atheist refutes argument]
(4) I cannot prove there is a God anymore than anyone of us can prove we really exist in a tangible world.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY
(1) Many modern historians think that there probably was somebody named Jesus, maybe.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

All of these I have seen in use before, belive it or not. And I haven't even got half-way yet! :p

no way dude - tis corrupt

ARGUMENT FROM BEEF
1. I like beef
2. Therefore God exists

ARGUMENT FROM GARDENING

ARGUMENT FROM GARDENING
1. My gardener's name is Jesus
2. Therefore, God is Mexican . . . or Peurto Rican, they all look the same

ARGUMENT FROM DOCTORS
1. I have no mal-practice insurance
2. Therefore God exists


YEA that was the stupidest shit I've ever seen ... don't write to me because I'm never looking at this forum again.

this one's the best (yet ;) )

ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY
(1) Many Atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God exists" as its conclusion.
(2) Consequently, God exists

YEA that was the stupidest shit I've ever seen ... don't write to me because I'm never looking at this forum again.
You *do* know that was a joke, right?

this one's the best (yet ;) )

ARGUMENT FROM CLEVER USE OF VOCABULARY
(1) Many Atheists will not be convinced by an argument with "Therefore, God exists" as its conclusion.
(2) Consequently, God exists

I am proven wrong ;) this one is:

ARGUMENT FROM DEFENESTRATION
(1) If God exists, then He will protect me if I jump out this third story window.
(2) However, you will not be so fortunate, unsaved heathen!
(3) *shove*
(4) See! God didn't protect you, just like I predicted! Any counterarguments, heathen?
(5) No? Therefore, God exists.

Hmmm

Well we'll all find out when we die, won't we?

I can't wait to hear all the, "I am SO SORRY, GOD! Yes, I know I was wrong..." (and such) phrases from people on their knees. Some of the "ignorant" christians (or other deists) will have the last laugh then.

but i digress

if matter was not in motion at the beginning of time and assuming here that Big Bang is correct, then what made said particles move?

Did they just do it of their own accord? Did someone blow on them? lol

Hmmm

Well we'll all find out when we die, won't we?

I can't wait to hear all the, "I am SO SORRY, GOD! Yes, I know I was wrong..." (and such) phrases from people on their knees. Some of the "ignorant" christians (or other deists) will have the last laugh then.

but i digress

if matter was not in motion at the beginning of time and assuming here that Big Bang is correct, then what made said particles move?

Did they just do it of their own accord? Did someone blow on them? lol
You do know this thread is a joke, correct?

Well, I've read all 348, and they are funny, some of them very funny, but still my faith doesn't seem to have failed.

And yes, I've used some of them (and shouldn't have), like:
ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX"
(1) We cannot prove that we don't live in a Matrix-like world.
(2) Therefore we cannot know reality.
(3) If reality is contingent, then everything is possible.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
though I didn't really claim (4) as arising from (1), (2), and (3).

But I think:
ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE (II)
(1) I have experienced feelings of God's presence in my mind.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
is sufficient for me at the moment, even though it's not a proof.

ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE
(1) Doesn't it just make more sense that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good deity created the world out of nothingness, from magic, essentially, and then punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then incarnated himself in human flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he could break his own rules, and then went through hell on a temporary basis and then went back into the sky and promised to come back and take everyone who believed in him to this heaven no one has ever seen?
(2) Well, doesn't it?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

I liked the argument from blindness personallly.

Hmmmm, those arguments are very compelling. I may just convert!

Hold on... that webpage is by a bunch of atheists, what do atheists know about god? They haven't been brainwashed since childhood, they could think about anything without being told what to think! That's like mental anarchy.

:D

Actually I've got a reverse argument.

1) If God exists.
2) God is ace, he can do anything.
3) Therefore Thor could exist, Spiderman could exist. All Hindu deities could exist. Afterall what are angels if not a Christian pantheon of lesser gods.

Hmmmm, those arguments are very compelling. I may just convert!

Hold on... that webpage is by a bunch of atheists, what do atheists know about god? They haven't been brainwashed since childhood, they could think about anything without being told what to think! That's like mental anarchy.

:D
While I know you were being flippant and pointing out the strengths of atheists to not be overly influenced (though some are by the prospect of their not being god) most of us WERE raised from birth and “brainwashed”

We happened to see through it but most of us know quite a lot about religion (frightfully so actually we seem to have a higher concentration of people that have ACTUALY read their religious books and talked about them discussed them and in general thought about what they meant to us … there is a depressingly low percentage in my home town at least (heavy roman catholic) of religious folks who can make the claim that they have even read the bible)

I get this thrown at me a lot

Athiest asks "stuper" question about God
Christian answers question
Athiest says "But God doesnt exist so your wrong!"
Therefore God does not exist

I get this thrown at me a lot

Athiest asks "stuper" question about God
Christian answers question
Athiest says "But God doesnt exist so your wrong!"
Therefore God does not exist
Yeah, we need a webpage of "proofs" that God doesn't exist too. Then we can laugh at everybody.

Yeah, we need a webpage of "proofs" that God doesn't exist too. Then we can laugh at everybody.
There is one somewhere, but it isn't as good. I'll try and find it.

Lookit! There are over 300 proofs here!
Clicky! (http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm)
;)
i love that site. my favorite is "Argument From Rapist With Nuclear Strap-On"

There is one somewhere, but it isn't as good. I'll try and find it.
http://www.tektonics.org/300proof.html

http://www.tektonics.org/300proof.html
yeah, i am glad they pointed out some of the bad arguments for atheism (since there are a lot) but they just aren't as funny as the original guys.

That site is old.

yeah, i am glad they pointed out some of the bad arguments for atheism (since there are a lot) but they just aren't as funny as the original guys.

Well Holding is hardly a shining star.

That site is old.
Your point being what, exactly?
I know it's rather old, I just saw fit to post it, since we were in the middle of the "Does God exist?" debate phase.

http://www.tektonics.org/300proof.html
I'm liking this one:

ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)

1. I define God to be X.
2. Since I cannot conceive of X, X must not exist.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

yeah, i am glad they pointed out some of the bad arguments for atheism (since there are a lot) but they just aren't as funny as the original guys.
I know I had a good laugh but the origional is funny cause I see the arguements all the time. people actualy use them

But the other side I see some but generaly not

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF FEAR

1. If God exists then I’m going to Hell.
2. I’m not afraid of Hell. New Jersey is much worse.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

:D

kroblexskij god theory



kroblexskij exists

so god exists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


fluffles for all!!!!!!!!! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF FEAR

1. If God exists then I’m going to Hell.
2. I’m not afraid of Hell. New Jersey is much worse.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

:D
Lol :-D

Argh.
I'm annoyed at how many times I see people use these "disproofs":

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)

1. Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
2. Theist: of course.
3. How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
4. Theist: Um, no, not really.
5. Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
6. Theist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
7. With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
8. Theist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
9. I'm glad we all agree.....
10. [Atheist goes on and on and on...]
11. So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
12. Theist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
13. [Atheist continues to go on and on and on...]
14. So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
15. I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING!?
16. [Still going...]
17. ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
18. [Theist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust]
19. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.



THE ARGUMENT FROM CHRISTIAN IMMORALITY (although it could probably be adapted to just about any belief or non-belief)

1. Somewhere, someone who called himself or herself a Christian did something evil.
2. This person was probably not lying.
3. Therefore, this person was a Christian.
4. Therefore, Christians do evil things.
5. Therefore, Christians are not moral.
6. Christians believe in the Bible.
7. Therefore, the Bible is not moral.
8. The Bible is God's word. It says so.
9. Therefore, God is not moral.
10. (We are just ignoring all the nice things that Christians have done in the past and present, it's hard to trust history and the news anyway.)
11. An immoral God would be really evil.
12. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.