NationStates Jolt Archive

There have been several threads where some of the male members of this forum have expressed dismay at not knowing the best way to ask a female out, and even more dismay when they work up enough courage to actually ask and are rejected.

So, if you don't mind giving the guys a bit of advice, could the female members of NS Forum please indicate what sort of approach(s) works for you, and give some of the reasons why you might say no? I'm sure the guys would appreciate this. :)

Yes.. gals. Please do. I could use the tips. :D

I said "Other" because I'm a guy and didn't want to have to press "View poll results" every time I view the thread. So, just ignore that one.

Well, I haven't had the pleasure of being asked out by a guy yet, but about the poll...

I don't really care that much about appearance. This is just me, I think, but I'm actually really not attracted to guys with lots of muscle, it just intimidates me. I wouldn't be willing to date anyone I didn't think would make a fair fight, I just get scared to death around people with so much muscle.

Intelligence is big for me--if the guy isn't intelligent, I don't feel like I can have any respect for him. He should be about the same intelligence level as me.

The resulting personality of the above two traits is usually good, so not an issue.

Involved with someone else? Well, not happening at the moment, but it would definitely give me a reason not so say yes.

If I wasn't interested in dating anyone, I'd still say yes. Just 'cause i'm desperate.

Other... If I liked someone else enough, I would say no. Also, any serious complications in friendships or something that would come of it, like if he was my friend's enemy ex or something like that, etc.

" If he doesn't meet my standards for appearance - 0 - 0%"

oohhh come on, someone is lying

" If he doesn't meet my standards for appearance - 0 - 0%"

oohhh come on, someone is lying
Well appearance matters, just not in the way you're thinking, so I didn't vote for it. See my last post.

If I wasn't interested in dating anyone, I'd still say yes. Just 'cause i'm desperate.

.
But if you weren't interested in dating anyone that would mean that you've removed the motivation for your desperation...

wow that was nitpicky.....

sorry.

Well appearance matters, just not in the way you're thinking, so I didn't vote for it. See my last post.

im not saying that, im sure your telling the truth, i just find it hard to belive that there isnt one woman on ns who requires an attractive man.

But if you weren't interested in dating anyone that would mean that you've removed the motivation for your desperation...

wow that was nitpicky.....

sorry.
No, sorry, that made no sense. I'm really tired, and I'm listening to crappy music on Conan, it's screwing with my head. Ignore that part of the post.

im not saying that, im sure your telling the truth, i just find it hard to belive that there isnt one woman on ns who requires an attractive man.
All the girls on here in the middle of the night are probably nerdy enough to have lowered their standards a bunch.

All the girls on here in the middle of the night are probably nerdy enough to have lowered their standards a bunch.

ha, the nightime ladies are always the best. either way, i dont mind. just seemed alittle off to me, i could be wrong.

ha, the nightime ladies are always the best.
Of course they are. I'm sure I'm not the only one in north america right now, sitting in the dark, suffering out their insomnia, thanking God it's saturday tomorrow...today... :p

I wouldn't refuse to go out with a guy because he wasn't goodlooking enough. He might have enough brains/personality to make up for it. Not that looks don't make any difference, if he was really butt ugly I probably wouldn't date him. Super hairy back and extremely overweight are turn offs. But I'm really much more picky about brains and compatible values. I'd never date a rabid right winger of fundamentalist of any religion.

That said, ask her to something casual first. I hate first dates that don't encourage me to relax. Coffee or someplace you can talk is good.

I wouldn't refuse to go out with a guy because he wasn't goodlooking enough. He might have enough brains/personality to make up for it.
Yep.
Not that looks don't make any difference, if he was really butt ugly I probably wouldn't date him. Super hairy back and extremely overweight are turn offs.
Ew, yes I definitely agree with that.
But I'm really much more picky about brains and compatible values. I'd never date a rabid right winger or fundamentalist of any religion.
Yes--conservative nutjobs=NO.

I said "Other" because I'm a guy and didn't want to have to press "View poll results" every time I view the thread. So, just ignore that one.
This made me laugh. :D

EDIT: And I highly doubt I meet ANY girl's standards... :D

Okay, so here's a question:

What's the least a dude can do to end up dating a chick? Now that's something I can use.....

From my experience, he at least has to ask. Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.

From my experience, he at least has to ask. Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.
No, I've done less than that and had it happen. Still workin' too hard.

Well appearance matters, just not in the way you're thinking, so I didn't vote for it. See my last post.

Appearance is everything at first. If you are not attracted to someone physically or at least not repelled by them then you will never try hard enough and persist enough to find out about their pesonality.

True for guys and girls.

From my experience, he at least has to ask. Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.

Very big generalisation.

Appearance is everything
In other words, I'm screwed? :D

Well, there was one girl who liked me because I was a mathematician who wasn't funny looking. I guess that didn't take any real effort on my part, just basic hygiene and self-awareness.

In other words, I'm screwed?

Or not screwed... :)

Very big generalisation.
Perhaps you missed the words "from my experience" and "it seems"?

In other words, I'm screwed?

Not necessarily but realistically, I don't know as I don't know what you look like. But for people to say appearance doesnt matter is very much a lie. Not that appearance is everything. Personality will keep you with a person but appearance is what attracts people to each other.

I've been told a few people like me but I am not gonna pursue it because I don't fancy them. It is a sad fact of life.

Or not screwed... :)
You think I'm hot? Why thank you... *blush* (j/k ;) )

I don't know what you look like.
My pic's in the NS player pic thread, stickied towards the top of the list. scroll down to my name on the first post, and prepare for the horror... :D

My pic's in the NS player pic thread, stickied towards the top of the list. scroll down to my name on the first post, and prepare for the horror... :D

Thank you.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

From my experience, he at least has to ask. Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.

Same here. It almost seems to be an unwritten rule.

Damn only wanted to edit it!

Look Pluto, just act yourself and if someone does fancy you it'll become pretty obvious (refusing to look you in the eyes, blinking a lot in your presence etc) then decide what you want to do.

If you have a good personality it will get you somewhere. I'm merely saying that do not think that humans are not shallow creatures. Cos I am as you've already figured. Be yourself and see how far you get.

You're not as bad as you paint yourself out to be by the way.

Look Pluto, just act yourself and if someone does fancy you it'll become pretty obvious (refusing to look you in the eyes, blinking a lot in your presence etc) then decide what you want to do.

If you have a good personality it will get you somewhere. I'm merely saying that do not think that humans are not shallow creatures. Cos I am as you've already figured. Be yourself and see how far you get.

You're not as bad as you paint yourself out to be by the way.

Yah pluto you aren't actually ugly...

Then again, I wouldn't turn gay for you... but I don't think I would turn gay for anyone, so that's neither here nor there.

Yes, they're right! (cannot be bothered to quote everything I agreed with, so decided to open with a hugely generalised comment, hehe). Most (not all, "liberated" girlies don't yell at me, it's just alot of us are too shy, or just won't do it) of the time, if you want to go out with a girl, YOU'LL have to ask. If you don't know her very well, get to know her, talk to her, establish common ground. Be interested in her as a person - look at her face, not her breasts (haha, I know that sounds really generalised but it happens alot and often leads to mental ruling-out). Most of my relationships grew from friendship, so that's always a pretty good start. And the poll said "reasonably good looking", not "butt ugly", which is why I think alot of us didn't select the first option. But if you do happen to have a monobrow, don't be afraid to pluck the middle out :P
Ha, it's too early in the afternoon for me.

Hmm. I have wierd experiences in this department. One of them was lying on top of me (having just finished making out) and i said "so wait. are we goin out now?" and she smiled and said "i guess so." that lasted a week, but hey, se la vi. My current g/f (1 year on the 14th) was drunk (i was in a very similar state), lying on top of me and prounounced that I was her boyfriend now, as I rather intently squeezed her left ass cheek. Then we made out some. Then we stumbled off, and I yelled. Interestingly, I felt up every single person at that valentines day party, regardless of gender or acquaintance. So yeah. I guess i get with strange women.

On a completely unrelated side note, for our anniversary, I sold a bunch of blood plasma, 6 games and an xbox controller, and bought her this: diamond, 10K white gold (http://www.kay.com/images/en_US/products/detail/021556600.jpg)

Thanks :)

I have GOT to stop bashing myself in public! lol!

se la vi.

C'est la vie, idiot.

Because everyone who doesn't speak French is an idiot. Politeness goes a long way.

Because everyone who doesn't speak French is an idiot. Politeness goes a long way.

You don't need to speak French to know what it is. Bloody B*witched made a song about it for god's sake.

If he's unsure how to spell it he could avoid making a fool out of himself.

You don't need to speak French to know what it is. Bloody B*witched made a song about it for god's sake.

If he's unsure how to spell it he could avoid making a fool out of himself.
Or he could successfully communicate the idea he had. You'll miss out on a lot of things if your main concern is what others will think of you.

Or he could successfully communicate the idea he had. You'll miss out on a lot of things if your main concern is what others will think of you.

What that he's an idiot?

What that he's an idiot?
You're not helping your cause.

You're not helping your cause.

What cause?

I've noticed that how good looking I think someone is can vary according to how much I like them.
I was dating two guys at once (don't worry, they both knew)

One guy was super hot looking and the other was kind of geeky looking. After I dated them a while I ended up dumping Mr. Hot But Arrogant. After I dated both of them a while, the geek seemed to get better looking, the arrogant one seemed not as hot as I thought in the beginning.

I can only suppose that when someone is likeable, physical flaws seem to fade out. When someones an asshole, it reflects poorly even on their physical attributes.

I don't think I'm doing a good job at getting my point across. Maybe someone else can explain it better.

What cause?
It doesn't matter. If you feel the need to assert your dominance over someone, then you're not going to convince anybody of anything. I hope it makes you feel better.

I've noticed that how good looking I think someone is can vary according to how much I like them.
I was dating two guys at once (don't worry, they both knew)

One guy was super hot looking and the other was kind of geeky looking. After I dated them a while I ended up dumping Mr. Hot But Arrogant. After I dated both of them a while, the geek seemed to get better looking, the arrogant one seemed not as hot as I thought in the beginning.

I can only suppose that when someone is likeable, physical flaws seem to fade out. When someones an asshole, it reflects poorly even on their physical attributes.

I don't think I'm doing a good job at getting my point across. Maybe someone else can explain it better.
I think you got your point across, and I agree. I've noticed the same thing. All of my friends are attractive now, no matter what I thought of them to begin with.

I've noticed that how good looking I think someone is can vary according to how much I like them.
I was dating two guys at once (don't worry, they both knew)

One guy was super hot looking and the other was kind of geeky looking. After I dated them a while I ended up dumping Mr. Hot But Arrogant. After I dated both of them a while, the geek seemed to get better looking, the arrogant one seemed not as hot as I thought in the beginning.

I can only suppose that when someone is likeable, physical flaws seem to fade out. When someones an asshole, it reflects poorly even on their physical attributes.

I don't think I'm doing a good job at getting my point across. Maybe someone else can explain it better.
To me, sounds like you doing a good job so far :)

I've been up all night. I'm glad I'm not as incoherent as I feel. :D

C'est la vie, idiot.
two things. 1, I don't speak, write, or understand French.
2. At the time in which that was written, it was 5 am and I was drunk. It's now 7:15, i'm hung over, and you're an ass. And before you start in on anything else, you pretentious boor, I'm aware that the "t" in two should be capitalized. I'm aware that my nationstate's name makes little sense in it's speeling, as sacrosanct, the word from which my title derives, lacks the first "n." I'm sorry you are so quick to anger as to lash out at me for a phrase that, though oft spoken, is less often seen in type, at least by my eyes, as that fiery temper is an ailment which you have to live with, likely for the rest of your life. A life which, if you get that worked up over three words in a language which most peopl on these boards don't speak, will likely end badly.

I've been up all night. I'm glad I'm not as incoherent as I feel. :D
You think YOU're sleepy? I've been up for like 48 hours now, with only a few hours of sleep (had to get up early to go to social security services).

EDIT: Oops. got the times wrong. subtract 11 hours. I got up at 4pm thursday, got a 2 hour sleep at 6 am fri, etc.

Don't worry about grammar or spelling nazis. In any language. Just wait until he messes up and somebody calls him on it.

You think YOU're sleepy? I've been up for like 48 hours now, with only a few hours of sleep (had to get up early to go to social security services).

That's why we have such high post counts and have only been on NS a couple of months. Staying up all night. Neo and OM are even worse.

That's why we have such high post counts and have only been on NS a couple of months. Staying up all night. Neo and OM are even worse.
*Hires a cheerleader team to cheer for Team Insomnia* :D

*Hires a cheerleader team to cheer for Team Insomnia* :D

Oooh! Pick me! I want to be the insomniac cheerleader!

Oooh! Pick me! I want to be the insomniac cheerleader!
*Hands over a Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders uniform*

Careful! It shows a LOT of cleavage!

Enjoy! :D

Because everyone who doesn't speak French is an idiot. Politeness goes a long way.
i like you. maybe it's just because i've got that hangover fog goin on, but you seem nice. You get my stamp of approval.

Don't worry about grammar or spelling nazis. In any language. Just wait until he messes up and somebody calls him on it.

I'm not worried, so much as mildly annoyed that that was his response to the entirety of what i said. It's nto as thoug I agonized over that post, or anything ,but still. Anyway, I quite liked what you said, and it does seem to be true that the more you know someone, the more attractive they become. Deleriousness aside, well put.

*Hands over a Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders uniform*

Careful! It shows a LOT of cleavage!

Enjoy! :D

Mwahahaha! *dresses in cheerleader outfit*
*realises that actually doing any cheers might be slightly tricky...*
:p

i like you. maybe it's just because i've got that hangover fog goin on, but you seem nice. You get my stamp of approval.
Is that an invitation to lie on top of you? 8)

Mwahahaha! *dresses in cheerleader outfit*
*realises that actually doing any cheers might be slightly tricky...*
:p
*Jaw drops in amazement as to why she actually took the uniform in the first place*

*Hands over Plutonian technology to keep it from falling off during cheers*

*Jaw drops in amazement as to why she actually took the uniform in the first place*

Why wouldn't I?
'm I missing something?

I think you all need to go to sleep.

Why wouldn't I?
'm I missing something?
Ya, I just gave you Plutonian techs so it doesn't fall off during cheers ;)

Ya, I just gave you Plutonian techs so it doesn't fall off during cheers ;)
Would you feel bad if I held that against you?

I think you all need to go to sleep.

Sleep is against my religion.

Would you feel bad if I held that against you?
Not really. :p

I think you all need to go to sleep.

What? Are you utterly insane? It's only 12:43am! I practically just woke up!

Crazy 'sleep' people...

What? Are you utterly insane? It's only 12:43am! I practically just woke up!

Crazy 'sleep' people...New Zealand?

I loves my sleep. If my bedroom wasn't freezing cold, going to sleep would be my favorite time of the day.

New Zealand?

I loves my sleep. If my bedroom wasn't freezing cold, going to sleep would be my favorite time of the day.
*Jumps in his chair*

OOOH! Did someone just say "freezing cold"?! :D :D :D :D :D

Pluto, you wouldn't make a very good Texan.
BTW, I'm pro-....Oh, nevermind. :p

*Jumps in his chair*

OOOH! Did someone just say "freezing cold"?! :D :D :D :D :DHeh. I'm sure the conditions outside my house are quite similar to the ninth planet. Cold and dark.

Pluto, you wouldn't make a very good Texan.
BTW, I'm pro-....Oh, nevermind. :p
Nice try ;)
If someone finds a way to perform one without destroying the you-know-what, THEN I'll legalize it ;)

Nice try ;)


At this time I can't engage in coherent conversation. So I settle for annoying people. :D

Heh. I'm sure the conditions outside my house are quite similar to the ninth planet. Cold and dark.
*Claps hands*

<BWWEEEEEEP!!!>

*Earth teleported 3 billion miles away*

Now it is!

*Claps hands*

<BWWEEEEEEP!!!>

*Earth teleported 3 billion miles away*

Now it is!Well, shoot. Better get my coat.

Well, shoot. Better get my coat.
Better hurry up, 'cause that "Day After Tomorrow" superstorm is just about to arrive!

New Zealand?

I loves my sleep. If my bedroom wasn't freezing cold, going to sleep would be my favorite time of the day.

Close, 'm in Australia.

It's all hot and blah.

And... um, 'going to sleep' isn't a 'time of day'....

Close, 'm in Australia.

It's all hot and blah.

And... um, 'going to sleep' isn't a 'time of day'....I will trade you your hot and blah for my cold and blah. And what other phrase would I use besides 'time of day'? That's not supposed to be a bitchy question or anything. I take language very seriously and would like to know if there's a better phrase I could be using. Maybe 'moment of the day'?

EDIT: Oh oh! "The time at which I go to sleep would be my favorite moment of the day." How about that?

Close, 'm in Australia.

It's all hot and blah.
Hey! I thought I... Damn. I forgot this is NS, not RL. *pouts* :D
And... um, 'going to sleep' isn't a 'time of day'....
More like an activity.

Speaking of which, I'll take a nice nap now. Be back in a few hours. :)

:fluffle:'s to any babe that doesn't think I'm ugly! :D

I'm a babe, right?

Totally off topic.
Why does Fairytink post tons of totally stupid threads? At the same time of day, too. It's practically half the first page. Was last time I was on at this hour, too.

Rant finished.

Totally off topic.
Why does Fairytink post tons of totally stupid threads? At the same time of day, too. It's practically half the first page. Was last time I was on at this hour, too.

Rant finished.
i don't know, if that helps.

I'm a babe, right?

But of course! :D

okay. the appearance thing. i cannot date a guy shorter than me. i am 5'8 and a half. if he is my height, no heels for me. i just cannot do it. my "long ter almost got married loveof my life" guy was 6 foot 5. and i am used to height. also, a super fat dude isnt going to do it for me either. sorry, but i weigh a buck thirty five, and workout daily.
looks wise, well.......there are guys i thought not to be attractive when i was younger, but when i visited back home last year, and met up witha few of them, they had changed, due to personality and intelligence traits, which is something i def. require.

but honestly, i have been asked out in many forms. some forward and almost belligerent, others have been the total opposite.
my personal favorite? this lanky hunched over guy with all his hair in his face followed me around at a show, and kept ducking and hiding his face whenever i looked at him. i wast sure what to do,but he eventually came out to me, and said. hey . "i am waiting for you to notice me."
thats all it took. i just wrote my number on his arm, and he ended up being one of the best guys i have met in a long time.

guys, you think up the wrong alley. any girl that is reasonably attractive, smart, and worth your time does not require to be asked out in a certain manner. she just wants you to be yourself, have some respect, and show her a good time.

Not necessarily but realistically, I don't know as I don't know what you look like. But for people to say appearance doesnt matter is very much a lie. Not that appearance is everything. Personality will keep you with a person but appearance is what attracts people to each other.

I've been told a few people like me but I am not gonna pursue it because I don't fancy them. It is a sad fact of life.

judging by the fact that on this thread you called someone an idiot for not knowing, or caring about how to correctly spell words in a foreign language, i doubt your last statement is very true. you are quite immature, and some other pretty negative things i wont say. you bullies always get your feelings hurt easily.

I've always preferred questions as the best means of asking someone out.

Three simple rules (keep it simple):
1. If you want to know something, ask.
2. If you want someone to know something, tell them.
3. It's not always about you.

I have to admit I turned down every guy that asked me out.
First guy was a weirdo who was the butt of everyone's jokes practically, looked and acted strangely etc. I was only 14 or something and he said he 'loved me' freaked me out.
I've had a couple of early teens ask me out online which is frankly weird.
Age is a big factor to me. A boy a couple of years younger than me once asked for my phone number (I believed for archery contact) then texted me to ask me out. I thought of him as a younger guy...and therefore not romantically. Sometimes I still get that protection instinct, which usually means older guys.
Don't use 'I love you' if you hardly know them. I pulled a guy once and he said that within one hour. I tried to escape as soon as I could.

Way to ask a girl out.... depends on what feels comfortable with the guy. I can't think of any really bad way... as long as they aren't cocky ie think they're doing you a huge favour. Confidence is fine. Confidence is good. But there's a big difference. But then some girls like the overly confident people. It depends on the guy and the girl.

Why I would turn someone down? If I didn't feel 'that' way about them. Which depends on if I'm attracted to them (appearance, confidence, intellect, humour, intruige... many things can make someone attractive) and whether they seem like someone I could have a good time with (depends on personality, humour, chemistry, intellect, whether they seem interesting).

Things I run from: Declarations of undying love after dating six weeks
Telling me what a favor I'd be doing myself by going out with you
Quizzes about who else I'm seeing and when I will stop seeing them after our second date
Paranoia about me sleeping with someone every single time we're not together

i like all the nazi height things

Okay, most of my advice is going to be obvious stuff, but anyway:
1. Any "nice girl" is going to be disgusted if you come up to her and immediately talk about the size of her breasts or something. Instead, look into her eyes and compliment her eyes or her smile.
2. Ask her about herself and at least pretend to be interested in what she has to say.
3. Ask her out or ask for her phone number.

See how easy that is? All you gotta do is act like a gentleman! :D

Yes.. gals. Please do. I could use the tips. :D
Yes do that
While i was waiting for the Train a nice girl sat next to me(well same Bench)
And their were like 3 others she could have sat on(boy did i feel special)and she was wearing glasses and kind of looking in my direction.WOW

judging by the fact that on this thread you called someone an idiot for not knowing, or caring about how to correctly spell words in a foreign language, i doubt your last statement is very true. you are quite immature, and some other pretty negative things i wont say. you bullies always get your feelings hurt easily.

Why am I immature?

i like all the nazi height things
Whats that??????????????????????

at present, i would reject people because i'm already dating someone.

other than that, my biggest issue is hygene. i can't stand guys who don't do laundry regularly or clearly don't take care of themselves especially if they smell.

i don't care if a guy doesn't know how to dress.... most guys don't.

oh, and if they act kinda creepy or are very awkward around me. or get obsessive... (that would fall under personality, i suppose)

In other words, I'm screwed? :D
You and me both MWhahahahhahahahahahaha-Oh wait thats a bad thing :(

There have been several threads where some of the male members of this forum have expressed dismay at not knowing the best way to ask a female out, and even more dismay when they work up enough courage to actually ask and are rejected.

So, if you don't mind giving the guys a bit of advice, could the female members of NS Forum please indicate what sort of approach(s) works for you, and give some of the reasons why you might say no? I'm sure the guys would appreciate this. :)

I think every girl that voted and didn't put the thing about the appearance is being more than just a little dishonest, although understandably so.

Anyway. I'm very picky about guys. If their losers, I don't like them. They need to have realistic, numerous, different, and yet ambitious goals. I don't think I'd ever date someone who drops out of school. I also don't like men who are mental loafers. Working hard in school doesn't necessarily equal intelligence. They need to be confident, take care of themselves (this means working out, dressing nicely, and overall being well-groomed), and have a great sense of humour.

I'd say no to anyone who doesn't meet these standards.

As to how to approach, I'm not really into the romantic bullshit. I appreciate directness. Just walk up to her with a smile on your face and ask her, "Would you like to go out sometime?"

It's not too terribly complicated.

From my experience, he at least has to ask. Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.
...

of the three guys i've dated, i've initiated two of the initial asking outs.

i also asked out some people before then and they said no.. :(

only my current boyfriend asked me out.

I think every girl that voted and didn't put the thing about the appearance is being more than just a little dishonest, although understandably so.

actually, read the question, it asks if a reasonably attractive person asked you out. the question already states that the person doing the asking is attractive (well, somewhat)

and a good personality can more than make up for an unattractive outer physical appearance... i find people more attractive as i get to know them generally.

actually, read the question, it asks if a reasonably attractive person asked you out. the question already states that the person doing the asking is attractive (well, somewhat)

and a good personality can more than make up for an unattractive outer physical appearance... i find people more attractive as i get to know them generally.

Someone can be attractive and yet not be attractive to you, you understand? Not to your taste.

" If he doesn't meet my standards for appearance - 0 - 0%"

oohhh come on, someone is lying

seriously.

actually, read the question, it asks if a reasonably attractive person asked you out. the question already states that the person doing the asking is attractive (well, somewhat)

and a good personality can more than make up for an unattractive outer physical appearance... i find people more attractive as i get to know them generally.

Reasonably attractive is more than enough. From there it's just personality. I don't need a guy that's got a frickin' godly appearance! It's an arrogant, I'm-doing-you-a-favor-by-asking-you-out attitude that will get on my nerves!

Reasonably attractive is more than enough. From there it's just personality. I don't need a guy that's got a frickin' godly appearance! It's an arrogant, I'm-doing-you-a-favor-by-asking-you-out attitude that will get on my nerves!
Someone's just a little bit bitter.
Not every attractive guy is like that.

" If he doesn't meet my standards for appearance - 0 - 0%"

oohhh come on, someone is lying
seriously.
Why? It's the 'main' reason. There's not many that will count appearance as the main reason. Probably a factor but that's not the same thing.

Why? It's the 'main' reason. There's not many that will count appearance as the main reason. Probably a factor but that's not the same thing.
I don't see that anywhere in the poll. That's why there are boxes you can check. You can pick more than one answer.

Reasonably attractive is more than enough. From there it's just personality. I don't need a guy that's got a frickin' godly appearance! It's an arrogant, I'm-doing-you-a-favor-by-asking-you-out attitude that will get on my nerves!
... did you read my post where i said that the only thing that matters physically for me is that a guy has good hygene? or did you completely ignore it in favour of insulting me. jackass.

... did you read my post where i said that the only thing that matters physically for me is that a guy has good hygene? or did you completely ignore it in favour of insulting me. jackass.

:rolleyes: I didn't mean to insult you. I didn't mean to insult anybody. I was agreeing with you.

:rolleyes: I didn't mean to insult you.
yet you went off on a rant and did just so.

yet you went off on a rant and did just so.
Heh. That was a rant? Man, I thought I was chilled on that post.

Seriously, any reasonable approach has a good chance of succeeding, in my book... I mean, it's mostly just about approaching a woman in a way that shows you're competant as a human being and you respect her as a person. Just keep it comfortable and low stress.

Granted, every woman is going to have preferences that you may not necessarily be privy to (height, or personality type...) or, sometimes, it's just a matter of good/bad timing (she's having a bad day and she feeling misanthropic). But then again, if you never try you'll never know.

As for what not to do... the most extreme example of crash and burn I've ever experienced was a guy who came by while I was working (at the mall, part time to get me through school). I was busy working, but kind of a captive audience in a small store, so I was already stressed and annoyed. Then he was showing off his Yu-Gi-Oh cards to me (no interest there, buddy), and he said, rather presumptuously, "So when are we going out" in essentially the same breath as he was making fun of the "Beaver Master" card.

I guess my point is, um, Yu-Gi-Oh does not impress the ladies... and, keep it casual, respectful and low pressure.

Umm.. I selected.. not interested in dating anyone

But the best way to try to talk to me? Lame pick up lines... that way if we don't click I can always make fun of you behind your back!

guys, you think up the wrong alley. any girl that is reasonably attractive, smart, and worth your time does not require to be asked out in a certain manner. she just wants you to be yourself, have some respect, and show her a good time.

True, as far as it goes. Most women do not expect a guy to meet some sort of specific criteria for how they ask them out, however if a guy doesn't display what I call "an expectation of a positive results," and be at least marginally outgoing ( smile, etc. ), chances are she will say "no thanks." That's why I suggest guys practice, practice, practice.

I'm not really your typical girl, but I like it when guys are confident in their approach, mainly because I'm not. I've never asked a guy out, so I kinda hold out for a guy who seems confident in themselves. I don't really have a set of standards that I hold each guy up to and say yes or no, I think everyone should be viewed seperately and individually, because everyone is different. Arrogance is a big no-no in my book, as is guys who don't take me seriously. I hate guys who are condescending to women.

I know that spontenaity is a huge bonus for me and all of my girlfriends.

(she's having a bad day and she feeling misanthropic)
Feeling misandrous is probably not too useful to asking a girl out, either. ;)

Most women do not expect a guy to meet some sort of specific criteria for how they ask them out, however if a guy doesn't display what I call "an expectation of a positive results," and be at least marginally outgoing ( smile, etc. ), chances are she will say "no thanks."
What exactly is this expectation of a positive result?

seriously. Originally Posted by Adrian Barbeau-Bot
" If he doesn't meet my standards for appearance - 0 - 0%"

oohhh come on, someone is lying
listen guys. really, it is true,considering most of the guys i have found attractive have been described as "phantoms" by my friends. and no- they dont wear goth makeup.

Is that an invitation to lie on top of you? 8)
you'll have to discuss that with my g/f, but it's fine with me.
update, she's on the horn, and it's fine, jsut so long as we a. don't make out and b. don't be all fondle-y. :fluffle:

shameless bump, anyone?

There have been several threads where some of the male members of this forum have expressed dismay at not knowing the best way to ask a female out, and even more dismay when they work up enough courage to actually ask and are rejected.

So, if you don't mind giving the guys a bit of advice, could the female members of NS Forum please indicate what sort of approach(s) works for you, and give some of the reasons why you might say no? I'm sure the guys would appreciate this. :)
Honestly, if a guy had some potential (and I weren't involved with anyone else at the moment - which I happen to be, but moving right along), I'd say yes to a date, probably. (As long as I don't feel like he's pushing too fast.) Because you never know.

But my standards for actually dating/going steady with someone are a hell of a lot higher. I'll say no even if I know he's a great person, but I'm just not that into him. I know I won't be happier with a guy (as opposed to being single) unless he's so great that I don't want to be with anyone else - if I'm still wondering if someone better for me might be out there, then I'm better off single. Plus, unless we really click, I won't be myself - and that will make me feel trapped. I learned my lesson about that way back in middle school, and it's worked for me all these years. :-)

As for how to ask a girl out? Well, I think the best way is to take it slow... start off with a coffee date (just go to a café)... but I recommend paying for her or she'll assume it's a platonic date.

If that goes over well, progress to dinner/movie (or both), and then play it by ear. As for the first kiss thing, I definitely recommend going slow - kissing on the forehead, for instance (which happens to be more intimate than on the cheek, and less sexual than on the lips), then on the lips... but just make sure you don't ram your tongue into her mouth immediately! Try a few kisses first, see if she relaxes and parts her lips more...

Okay, I'm sorry, this was supposed to be just about how to ask a girl out, not a kissing lesson! I'll stop now. :D

As for how to ask a girl out? Well, I think the best way is to take it slow... start off with a coffee date (just go to a café)... but I recommend paying for her or she'll assume it's a platonic date.

If that goes over well, progress to dinner/movie (or both), and then play it by ear. As for the first kiss thing, I definitely recommend going slow - kissing on the forehead, for instance (which happens to be more intimate than on the cheek, and less sexual than on the lips), then on the lips... but just make sure you don't ram your tongue into her mouth immediately! Try a few kisses first, see if she relaxes and parts her lips more...

Okay, I'm sorry, this was supposed to be just about how to ask a girl out, not a kissing lesson! I'll stop now. :D
For me I try to keep it fresh, I like the classics (cafe, dinner/movie) but I save them for later. My 'first dates' tend to be tailored to the person I'm taking out, I try to express my interest by showing that I have paid attention to theirs. I try not to worry too much about the whole 'first impression' things and just let it be, I want them to like me for me - not for what I think they want me to be.

When it comes to paying for things, yeah - I'm a bit old fashioned, I like to treat a lady and pay for everything. I've been in realtionships where I've been comfortable enough to let a girl pay for thiings when we're together, but I admit it doesnt happen often - something I have to work on. Its the little things that count though. Show her that you care and that you are a gentleman early on. Walk around the car to unlock and open her door first, take her coat for her, get her chair in the restaraunt, etc. etc. On top of that, it isnt enough just to do these things, the gesture that brings them out must be real and honest. Don't put on a show - women can spot a fake every time.

Now, to kissing... Kissing happens to be my specialty, I may be modest - but not so modest as to deny that. When it comes to kissing you have to make sure that its looked at on a case by case basis. Some girls want to kiss right away, some dont. As far as where to kiss and how - its the same deal. I actually go for a kiss on the lips first almost every time, but its execution depends on the recipient. Most of the time, its a sweet closed mouth innocent kiss - but i have been in situations where lust has taken over and things have gone a little bit farther than that. Again, reaction is based on the exact situation - learn how to read these, don't try to create a patterened response - you can get away with a lot if you mean well by it.

The kiss on the forehead, well, to me that one is very special - I won't even talk about giving that one away unless I think the girl is really someone amazing. Even then, I save it for the tenderest of moments, ussually when I am seeing them off at the end of a night - but there are a few other situations as well. I don't give this out often - it's kind of the nuclear bomb of my kissing arsenal, it doesn't have to be big but its explosives pack a lot of punch.

There are a few other kisses that I keep in reserve for the special ones, but I'm not going to give them away. I don't know anyone here well enough! Hehe... ;)

There are two answers on that poll that apply to me. I would not go out with another guy if i was dating someone else, or if he was dating someone else. Even if i was unhappy in the relationship, i would break up with the guy, not cheat on him with someone else. I also wouldn't go out with a guy who didn't live up to my standards for personality. I want a guy who is intelligent, kind, self-confident, without being conceited, sensitive, and who has a good sense of humour. Kindness is the most important thing though. If you're a jerk, don't even try and approach me. Looks really don't matter to me all that much, the only thing that is less important is how much money someone makes. I don't like back hair or chest hair, and i prefer a bit of facial hair, goatee and moustache, to clean shaven. I'm not a big fan of meterosexuals either. However, i would not refuse to date a guy simply because he doesn't fit into that physical description, as long as his personality makes up for it. Frankly, unless a guy looks like Johnny Depp, i am not going to think he is the hottest guy i have ever seen anyway...lol. No one can live up to that, so i would never expect someone to.

As for how to approach me, just be honest. Don't use any cheesy pick-up lines, just come straight out and ask me on a date. If you only want to fuck me, tell me that too. I will most likely refuse the offer, but i will appreciate the honesty and will like you much better than if you lead me on. For the date itself, a place where we can actually sit and get to know eachother would be good, so a movie probably wouldn't be an ideal first date. The company is the most important thing though, if i like you and enjoy your company, it really doesn't matter what we do.

you'll have to discuss that with my g/f, but it's fine with me.
update, she's on the horn, and it's fine, jsut so long as we a. don't make out and b. don't be all fondle-y. :fluffle:
Well where's the fun in that? Let me talk to her. I'll see if we can find some sort of compromise. :fluffle:

Alright, well, I'm a guy but I've got some pieces of advice. Sidenote- I've never really had a girlfriend (there was a cheesy middle-school relationship that meant nothing, and a girl who would've but she was already dating someone, which I didn't know), but I have been asked out by a girl before (said no).

First: Don't be neurotic. By neurotic I mean do not let her consume every waking moment of your life. Learn to back off and simply let things go. Do not try to dominate her life and keep her locked in a metaphorical closet. Feel free to be yourself, but don't be neurotic.

Second: This sort of goes along with the being neurotic, but don't tell her you "love her" just randomly... make sure you mean it, and make sure she's willing to reciprocate the gesture.

Third: When it comes to actually asking someone, don't go for the "will you go out with me" line - that's vague and kind of cheesy (opinions, girls?). Have a plan for a first date, and ask her if she'd like to go with you on that (like "Hey, some of my friends are going out dancing on Friday night after school, would you like to come with me?"). If she likes you, she'll probably say "sure", but she may also be shy about meeting your friends (if she doesn't know them personally), at which point it's up to you to assuage her fears and make her feel comfortable.

Well where's the fun in that? Let me talk to her. I'll see if we can find some sort of compromise. :fluffle:
Now, i don't care too much, either way, but what gender are you? I'm not bisexual, just very laid back. and if you want, you can send her nation a telegraph. it's Anorahs. You've found it if the flag is a picture of GIR and a piggie.

When it comes to actually asking someone, don't go for the "will you go out with me" line - that's vague and kind of cheesy (opinions, girls?).
What exactly is wrong with that?

Now, i don't care too much, either way, but what gender are you? I'm not bisexual, just very laid back. and if you want, you can send her nation a telegraph. it's Anorahs. You've found it if the flag is a picture of GIR and a piggie.
I'm male. I've never found a male physically attractive, but I don't let that stop me. And I was kidding about talking to her. Unless you want me to.... 8)

I'm male. I've never found a male physically attractive, but I don't let that stop me. And I was kidding about talking to her. Unless you want me to.... 8)
i was also kidding. that is her nationstate, and don't let me stop you from talking to her, but i was not serious in my urging you to contact her. Truth be told, i was kinda hopin you would, as it would be really damn funny. :rolleyes:

Umm, shouldn't you 2 get on topic? but I kinda like the sideline.

Umm, shouldn't you 2 get on topic? but I kinda like the sideline.
no. and me too.

And now back to my regularily schedualed lurking.

One thing for the girls though:

Guys HATE it when you talk to us over the phone when you have a friend over. (MUST NOT MAKE MANAGE ET TWA JOKE!)

Third: When it comes to actually asking someone, don't go for the "will you go out with me" line - that's vague and kind of cheesy (opinions, girls?).
you don't need a plan for the first date right off the bat.

hell, saying "would you maybe like to do something sometime?" would be enough, just make sure you come up with some sort of idea. even saying "want to go see a movie/play pool et c" without setting a specific day is good enough. and not setting a certain day means that she's less likely to say no as she wouldn't already have plans for whatever day you pick.

Already have a guy, been together for 9 years... known each other for 11- and also was my first (and only) boyfriend...

So I wouldn't accept a date invite with any other guy... no matter how hot, or cool, as long as I'm with him- and that's been put to the test. There have been temptations, but I resist! :)

For me I try to keep it fresh, I like the classics (cafe, dinner/movie) but I save them for later. My 'first dates' tend to be tailored to the person I'm taking out, I try to express my interest by showing that I have paid attention to theirs. I try not to worry too much about the whole 'first impression' things and just let it be, I want them to like me for me - not for what I think they want me to be.

....

Now, to kissing... Kissing happens to be my specialty, I may be modest - but not so modest as to deny that. When it comes to kissing you have to make sure that its looked at on a case by case basis. Some girls want to kiss right away, some dont. As far as where to kiss and how - its the same deal. I actually go for a kiss on the lips first almost every time, but its execution depends on the recipient. Most of the time, its a sweet closed mouth innocent kiss - but i have been in situations where lust has taken over and things have gone a little bit farther than that. Again, reaction is based on the exact situation - learn how to read these, don't try to create a patterened response - you can get away with a lot if you mean well by it.

The kiss on the forehead, well, to me that one is very special - I won't even talk about giving that one away unless I think the girl is really someone amazing. Even then, I save it for the tenderest of moments, ussually when I am seeing them off at the end of a night - but there are a few other situations as well. I don't give this out often - it's kind of the nuclear bomb of my kissing arsenal, it doesn't have to be big but its explosives pack a lot of punch.

There are a few other kisses that I keep in reserve for the special ones, but I'm not going to give them away. I don't know anyone here well enough! Hehe... ;)
Well, of course, paying attention to the signals that your date is giving is always the best bet, but I was trying to come up with a few general guidelines (for people who are a little less confident in their knowledge of the opposite sex).

It's funny what you say about the kiss on the forehead - I've only been kissed there by 3 people. 2 of them (my ex and my boyfriend) I know care(d) a lot about me - but the other? Hmm, not sure. (Plus I just liked him as a friend and dancing partner, so I didn't really think about it.) But as I mentioned, I do see it as somewhat more intimate (or romantic) than certain other safe kisses.

By the way, a kiss on the hand (one that's not too contrived) is a personal fave. If it's done properly, it can totally take my breath away.

you don't need a plan for the first date right off the bat.

hell, saying "would you maybe like to do something sometime?" would be enough, just make sure you come up with some sort of idea. even saying "want to go see a movie/play pool et c" without setting a specific day is good enough. and not setting a certain day means that she's less likely to say no as she wouldn't already have plans for whatever day you pick.
As a girl, I'd really prefer to be asked for a specific date - and if I like the guy but I'm busy, I'll suggest another time that might work.

(Trust me, if the girl likes you, she'll find a time to see you. If she's *always* unavailable, it's a sign that she's just not that into you.)

The whole "wanna maybe see a movie sometime?" thing is kind of unattractive - it just drips with insecurity or blasé attitude (or both).

By the way, a kiss on the hand (one that's not too contrived) is a personal fave. If it's done properly, it can totally take my breath away.
Really? Seems like it would be a little passé. Archaic, actually.

I voted other. Why? Cause I have a y chromosome and would turn them down on the premise that they do to.

I voted other. Why? Cause I have a y chromosome and would turn them down on the premise that they do to.
Ahh yes, but what if they have two X chromosomes as well? Would you be more willing for those with Klinefelter syndrome?

Really? Seems like it would be a little passé. Archaic, actually.
Hmm... I think that's the appeal (as long as it's done smoothly, and not too often). It's sweet and romantic in the way that only old-fashioned moves can be. :)

As a girl, I'd really prefer to be asked for a specific date - and if I like the guy but I'm busy, I'll suggest another time that might work.

(Trust me, if the girl likes you, she'll find a time to see you. If she's *always* unavailable, it's a sign that she's just not that into you.)

The whole "wanna maybe see a movie sometime?" thing is kind of unattractive - it just drips with insecurity or blasé attitude (or both).
i'm a girl.

my bf asked me out by saying "do you want to go shoot some pool sometime" and i said yes. but then we'd just met that day so it's not like he'd been planning it out for weeks and weeks.

i don't like it when guys seem to have put up so much effort and thought into asking me out. i mean, if we're not even dating yet, relax.

i don't like it when guys seem to have put up so much effort and thought into asking me out. i mean, if we're not even dating yet, relax.
I can see where you're coming from, and I think that a more casual approach is the most approriate, but you've got to understand that guys who do that probably have a big crush and are really nervous about it because they have social phobias or are insecure or something. Not to degrade them, as I'm am like that myself, I just realise that acting all stressed out like that is a put-off.

Very few girls, it seems, are liberated enough to take the initiative.

I can't speak for the rest of my gender, but I can tell you for me it has nothing to do with liberation. It's just that we girls get just as nervous and if I'm not expected to do the asking, I'd rather not. You know, being a straight girl today is a pretty good deal. I can ask a guy out if I want, but I'm not expected to. The dating pool's not all constricted like it is for my gay friends, and that also means nobody jumps on me about sexuality issues.

Of course, who am I to be talking about how I don't like making the first move when I just did last week...

One thing for the girls though:

Guys HATE it when you talk to us over the phone when you have a friend over. (MUST NOT MAKE MANAGE ET TWA JOKE!)
menage à trois ;)

I can't speak for the rest of my gender, but I can tell you for me it has nothing to do with liberation. It's just that we girls get just as nervous and if I'm not expected to do the asking, I'd rather not. You know, being a straight girl today is a pretty good deal. I can ask a guy out if I want, but I'm not expected to. The dating pool's not all constricted like it is for my gay friends, and that also means nobody jumps on me about sexuality issues.

Of course, who am I to be talking about how I don't like making the first move when I just did last week...
Actually, that's exactly what I mean. I was talking about liberation from archaic societal roles and expectations.

What exactly is wrong with that?

Sorry, don't think I backed my point up enough about "will you go out with me". What I think is wrong with that is that it brings up the question of "what exactly are we?" If you're using that line you've probably just worked up enough courage to walk over to the girl you like and are really-really nervous about what you're doing. It doesn't leave a whole lot of solidity in what otherwise could have been something nice, and it leaves both people wondering. Say, for example, that you're at school, and you drop that line. The girl says yes, but then she has to go to class. You're both left hanging until you actually get the time to sit down and talk about exactly what "going out" means, which could bring about quite a bit of anxiety. I think it's always better to have a plan (of which "wanna go shoot some pool?" i still a plan, though not a very elaborate one) about what you're doing, rather than just strapping yourself to a metaphorical catapult, telling all your friends "here I go!" and launching yourself.

Am I making any sense over here?

I can't speak for the rest of my gender, but I can tell you for me it has nothing to do with liberation. It's just that we girls get just as nervous and if I'm not expected to do the asking, I'd rather not. You know, being a straight girl today is a pretty good deal. I can ask a guy out if I want, but I'm not expected to. The dating pool's not all constricted like it is for my gay friends, and that also means nobody jumps on me about sexuality issues.

Of course, who am I to be talking about how I don't like making the first move when I just did last week...

I've been asked out by a girl before, and I said "no" even though I liked her, simply because it caught me so off guard (granted, it was in middle school, but still) and just made me feel kind of uncomfortable, especially since it was over AIM, and the line was "will you go out with me?" I guess if it's done right it works, but when there's no prior indication of any feelings it can be really disconcerting. Just my 2 cents about that.

Really? Seems like it would be a little passé. Archaic, actually.
Actually a girl kissed my hand a few weeks ago (I'm a male) and even though we're friends and there's nothing else between us, it just blew me away. I gave her a short kiss on the lips to return the cumpliment.

Actually a girl kissed my hand a few weeks ago (I'm a male) and even though we're friends and there's nothing else between us, it just blew me away. I gave her a short kiss on the lips to return the cumpliment.
"Cumpliment"? Are you sure there's nothing else between you? ;)

"Cumpliment"? Are you sure there's nothing else between you? ;)
Nothing but animal attraction and some healthy sexual tension ;)

Nothing but animal attraction and some healthy sexual tension ;)
Ah, those are the most exciting sorts of friendships.

boys just be nice and respectful and don't try to put on some fake bullshit personality. i agree fully with Miss Rogue Angelica in her first post. looks arent incredibly important. what i find physically attractive is fairly weird anyway. just dont smell. please. smelly boys are not good boys. also don't get pushy with the physical things if you go on more than one date. personally i like things of that nature to be taken slowly since i think whats in your head is more important than whats in your pants. ive not had tons of luck in the boy department but i try.

just dont smell. please. smelly boys are not good boys.

I hate to tell you, but in my experience as a male, we guys always smell. As hard as we might try, regardless of how often we shower, we will still have a scent about us within the hour. The best I've ever been able to manage is hopping straight out of the shower into whatever I'm going to be wearing and immediately putting on cologne, but even that only works for a few hours before the cologne begins to wear off.

I hate to tell you, but in my experience as a male, we guys always smell. As hard as we might try, regardless of how often we shower, we will still have a scent about us within the hour. The best I've ever been able to manage is hopping straight out of the shower into whatever I'm going to be wearing and immediately putting on cologne, but even that only works for a few hours before the cologne begins to wear off.
You're absolutely right... the nice thing is, though, if you're physically compatible with a girl, the girl will think you smell absolutely amazing!

(Speaking from my experience as a girl.)

You're absolutely right... the nice thing is, though, if you're physically compatible with a girl, the girl will think you smell absolutely amazing!

(Speaking from my experience as a girl.)
Well I read semewhere females feel attracted tho males smelling like their fathers.

SICK!

Well I read semewhere females feel attracted tho males smelling like their fathers.

SICK!
It depends on what you mean by "smelling like their fathers."

Science suggests that, when you're talking about natural smell alone, people are attracted to the smell of other people who have quite different immune systems and genes - after all, it would be bad for your children if you hooked up with someone whose immune system/genes too closely mirrored your own... causing potential birth defects and weak immunities to certain diseases.

However, psychological studies show that people tend to be attracted to things with which they are familiar - this would probably apply to things like cologne.

So, ideally, you'd want someone whose natural smell was quite different from your father's (indicating better chances for healthy children) but who wears a similar cologne to his.

:D

Well I read semewhere females feel attracted tho males smelling like their fathers.
Sounds like the Electra complex.

I am one of the people who has a crazy fetish for monkies! I will turn down humans because they are not monkies. I will go to the zoo and have a lot of fun there! sometimes i will go to the farm and get my gro0ve on with the roosters unless they peck me then i bleed!@
*Odd look*
happy happy joy joy this is my 90th post
this is a offical messazgfe of the supreme dictaorship iof harrylnaia and i apprve this message
te he he
Heh heh, LOL. :D

My biology teacher once told the class that guys used to hang their neckercheifs under their armpits then putting them around their necks before dances to release the pheremones.

I always like the simple approach. "Hey, do you want to go with me to [insert activity here] at [insert time here]?" And I especially like it when they don't try to convince me I am wrong when I say no. There should also absolutely not be any mushy, cutesy stuff. It is degrading.

My biology teacher once told the class that guys used to hang their neckercheifs under their armpits then putting them around their necks before dances to release the pheremones.
Eh, the olfactory sensors for pheromones are almost vestigial now. Pheromones can pretty much literally be the life of an organism, such as social insects, but in humans it has a mild effect. It also depends on the male and the female involved.

Eh, the olfactory sensors for pheromones are almost vestigial now. Pheromones can pretty much literally be the life of an organism, such as social insects, but in humans it has a mild effect. It also depends on the male and the female involved.
The reason human pheremones are mild is because WE ALL BATHE OURSELVES.

The reason human pheremones are mild is because WE ALL BATHE OURSELVES.
No, ants are actually cleaner than humans. They constantly wash their antennae. Same with pretty much all insects with antennae, though ants are probably the most touchy about it. Human pheromones are mild because they have lost their importance that they have with less evolved organisms. There's a reason that our pheromonal sensors are nearly vestigial, and that's because they're barely used. And humans have been bathing for far less time than it takes to devolve such socially vital receptors like that.

No, ants are actually cleaner than humans. They constantly wash their antennae. Same with pretty much all insects with antennae, though ants are probably the most touchy about it. Human pheromones are mild because they have lost their importance that they have with less evolved organisms. There's a reason that our pheromonal sensors are nearly vestigial, and that's because they're barely used. And humans have been bathing for far less time than it takes to devolve such socially vital receptors like that.
I stand corrected. Thanks. :p

One thing for the girls though:
menage à trois ;)
Guys HATE it when you talk to us over the phone when you have a friend over. (MUST NOT MAKE MANAGE ET TWA JOKE!)
Ah it all makes sense now