NationStates Jolt Archive

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

Most men don't mature emotionally if they can get away with it.
For the few who do, it usually doesn't occur until they are in their mid-30s.

Don't expect him to change much though. He might become more considerate, but he'll still like the things he always liked (beer, sports, etc).

My wife was 33 and had gone through the young asshole/young asshole husband thing. She decided to try the "older man" thing with me.

I'm 44 and she's very, very happy with me.

One more thing: if he's partying when you meet him, he'll be partying when he's dating you/living with you/married to you. You need to avoid men who party if you don't want to keep partying. If you don't like hanging out in bars watching sports, don't meet your men there.

[RANT]

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore.

Probably didn't in the first place...

We'll have been together a year tomorrow,

Longer than average. Sounds like you're nearing the end of relationship if not, already there.

and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

We can't all stay behind for the old lady. It gets worse when they start trying to chain us down. Unfortunately when it gets like that theres nothing you can do.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Probably both.

So what should I do?

Find yourself a real man.

Turn gay. That'll show the twat! :D

Threaten to dump him. If he doesn't change. Dump him.

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p
your boyfriend sounds really boring. break up and get a new one.

i don't advise "turning lesbian" if you have a problem with irrational, controlling, and selfish behavior, though...most women show such behaviors far more often than most men.

More advice:

When you first meet a man, tell him in very simple terms exactly what you're looking for and what you expect.

Don't wait to tell him, and make sure he understands. And hold him to it.

If he can't live up to his obligations then he can date his own hand.

My boyfriends driving me INSANE.

Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

Open the door, bail out, prepare to land ... LAND! :)

He sounds like a waster. you'll probly be better off without him.
most men (like myself) will agree, he should pay more attention to you. If he thinks you'll always be there no matter how much of an ass he is, it's time to bring reality crashing down on top of him.

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.


I would try and talk with him about the amount of time you spend together. If he can't have a mature conversation with you about it and then make an effort to change a bit, maybe it would be a good idea to move on (although I hate to advocate breaking up).

If he can't live up to his obligations then he can date his own hand.

HAHA! That's bloody great.

Anyways, yes, get a new man. This guy sounds like a complete ass. I'd have murdered him by now. :D But that's just me.



(him) :eek: :sniper: (me)

My current live in girlfriend's ex-husband is like this. For their first anniversary, he took her to Burger King, but at least they got to sit down inside instead of hitting the drive through. Their second anniversary, he went fishing with the guys. There wasn't a third anniversary.

She's now very happy with an older guy who appreciates her. :) Yes, me. :)

Dump him and find a guy a bit older than you is my advice. What's the old standard for guys, half our age plus seven years? So if you're say 22, look for a guy in his mid thirties. Possibly he's matured enough to know what a relationship is by then. ;)

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.
Okay, important questions: Did you two actually have plans? Did you talk to him in advance and say "Hey, our dating anniversary is coming up and I wanna spend the weekend with you"? How far in advance were these plans set? Did he know that this particular weekend was special, or did he forget that it was an anniversary?

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.
Not a detailed description, but based on this information, he doesn't sound like a gentleman.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p
Being able to resolve conflicts is an important part of a relationship. If you two can't amicably settle an argument now, then that's a very bad sign.

My post is rushed, but real life calls. I leave you with my usual advice.

"Think about it for a moment."

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
Founder and Delegate of The Realm of Ambrosia

Then again, we only have her side of the story. Maybe (and please don't take offense) she is a nagging, possessive, jealous hag that never gives him a moments peace or semi-regular snoogums, and he goes out to get away from her?

Now, I'm not saying this is the reality, just that there are always two sides to a story, and we don't have both here.

But...I voted "dump him" based on what you've told us.

Help! We're being discriminated! Sexist!

He's an ass, get rid of him.

Help! We're being discriminated! Sexist!
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-1/935133/python.gif

Break up ... it's not like you're married. Go get high in the same club ... with other people.

Then again, we only have her side of the story. Maybe (and please don't take offense) she is a nagging, possessive, jealous hag that never gives him a moments peace or semi-regular snoogums, and he goes out to get away from her?

Now, I'm not saying this is the reality, just that there are always two sides to a story, and we don't have both here.

But...I voted "dump him" based on what you've told us.
Nah, she's wayyy too damned cute to be a hag. This assumes that the rainbow hat pic is real, of course.

Okay, important questions: Did you two actually have plans? Did you talk to him in advance and say "Hey, our dating anniversary is coming up and I wanna spend the weekend with you"? How far in advance were these plans set? Did he know that this particular weekend was special, or did he forget that it was an anniversary?

He brought up the one year thing...I wasnt even sure of the date until he told me (I knew it was early feb but I didnt know when). I dont want to spend the whole weekend with him - I know he's got other people that he wants to see and other stuff to do. He suggested doing something on friday night...and I agreed. Then he turned round a few days later and said "oh I'm gonna go out instead" and when I pointed out that we had plans, the response was "well nothing was set in stone". And then I got angry.

We didn't set plans far in advance...but the point is the plans were there, planned and everything!

Nah, she's wayyy too damned cute to be a hag. This assumes that the rainbow hat pic is real, of course.

Haha aww I like you *cheers up a little*

And yes the rainbow hat pic is real!!

He brought up the one year thing...I wasnt even sure of the date until he told me (I knew it was early feb but I didnt know when). I dont want to spend the whole weekend with him - I know he's got other people that he wants to see and other stuff to do. He suggested doing something on friday night...and I agreed. Then he turned round a few days later and said "oh I'm gonna go out instead" and when I pointed out that we had plans, the response was "well nothing was set in stone". And then I got angry.

We didn't set plans far in advance...but the point is the plans were there, planned and everything!
bastards

It sounds like he is taking you for granted, he obviously feels you won't say anything or confront him because you have refused to argue in the past....maybe it's time to have a full on blow out screaming hissy fit at him when (i'm sure it will be when) he forgets your anniversary - that will either wake him up or scare him or make you realise that actually...you don't need him...you would rather go shopping for shoes and see your friends than worry about being free when he wants you to be.......and let's face it.....is he REALLY that great?

This is all assuming he hasn't just booked a fab restuarant as a surprise for you of course!

He brought up the one year thing...I wasnt even sure of the date until he told me (I knew it was early feb but I didnt know when). I dont want to spend the whole weekend with him - I know he's got other people that he wants to see and other stuff to do. He suggested doing something on friday night...and I agreed. Then he turned round a few days later and said "oh I'm gonna go out instead" and when I pointed out that we had plans, the response was "well nothing was set in stone". And then I got angry.

We didn't set plans far in advance...but the point is the plans were there, planned and everything!

well he's not the nicest individual i've ever heard of!
he brought up the idea of going out for your anniversary - and then picked going out with his friends over spending what should be at least a little bit of a special day with you?? neh...i'm not impressed at all and i don't even know the fella.
Personally speaking i'd say tell it to him staright that your not happy with how he's treating you and if he doesn't come to his senses within a week get rid of him.

If you choose to date someone skanky, that's not the fault of all man kind. :rolleyes:

Blame your man, blame yourself for putting up with your man, but dont blame every man on the planet.

If you pick 2 dogs in a row, honey you need to reconsider your selection criteria, and I assure you switching preferred gender isnt a productive change in terms of filtering out dogs....

Turn gay. It's the only way to guarantee that no guy ever messes you about again. Just be sure to make sure your female lover likes having no freedom at all and does absolutely everything with you after a year, forsaking friendships and social entertainment.

And don't forget to go "whatever" rather than talk the situation through because you don't like arguing... I'm sure every lesbian is tolerant of exactly that.

Don't forget kids: all men are bastards; women are all perfect.

It sounds like he is taking you for granted, he obviously feels you won't say anything or confront him because you have refused to argue in the past....maybe it's time to have a full on blow out screaming hissy fit at him when (i'm sure it will be when) he forgets your anniversary - that will either wake him up or scare him or make you realise that actually...you don't need him...you would rather go shopping for shoes and see your friends than worry about being free when he wants you to be.......and let's face it.....is he REALLY that great?

This is all assuming he hasn't just booked a fab restuarant as a surprise for you of course!

He didnt forget though...he just chose to spend it with his mates instead of me.

Ha, it would be amusing if he'd booked a restaurant....but I very much doubt that it even crossed his mind.

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

Maybe you are the one driving him insane which is why he spends all his time having fun partying!!! Don't see anything wrong with it. But if your pissed off about it then just call it an end.

Maybe he's deliberately doing this because he wants to suprise you on your year anniversary. . . or is that only in the movies?

Don't forget kids: all men are bastards; women are all perfect.
If by perfect you mean all women are evil succubi from hell, then the above statement is true. Luckily I have little regard for the state of my soul when it comes to things like this. :p

Turn gay. It's the only way to guarantee that no guy ever messes you about again. Just be sure to make sure your female lover likes having no freedom at all and does absolutely everything with you after a year, forsaking friendships and social entertainment.

And don't forget to go "whatever" rather than talk the situation through because you don't like arguing... I'm sure every lesbian is tolerant of exactly that.

Don't forget kids: all men are bastards; women are all perfect.

I put the turn gay option in just to see how many people would choose it. I'm pretty sure women would drive me even more insane. Perhaps a better option would have been just to give up completely and become a nun or something.

When I try and talk situations through with him, it's just impossible. He's too stubborn to listen to my point of view. And I'm too stubborn to give up. So all that happens is I get frustrated and he gets annoyed that I'm going on at him. And we get nowhere.

Turn gay. It's the only way to guarantee that no guy ever messes you about again. Just be sure to make sure your female lover likes having no freedom at all and does absolutely everything with you after a year, forsaking friendships and social entertainment.

And don't forget to go "whatever" rather than talk the situation through because you don't like arguing... I'm sure every lesbian is tolerant of exactly that.

Don't forget kids: all men are bastards; women are all perfect.

There's no need to be like that Belperia. I think she's well within her rights to be pissed off when he cancels their anniversary arrangements in order to get pissed with his mates.

Maybe he's deliberately doing this because he wants to suprise you on your year anniversary. . . or is that only in the movies?

Someones been watching too many romantic comedies... :p

... that this isn't helping you in any way. You have to decide for yourself and live with the consequences.

It seems strange that he can't 'let his hair down' with his gf. I say ditch him.

Oh and if you're gonna become a Nun, become one who solves crimes, that'd be cool...

It's been my observation that gay and lesbian couples suffer from many of the same interpersonal relationship problems that heterosexuals suffer from.

I've even seen a case where one lesbian was constantly beating her lover - just as if she was a male wife-beater.

The whole interpersonal thing is a human problem unrelated to your choice of lifestyle.

I would, however, learn to stop dating assholes. My younger sister likes men based on initial physical attraction, and if she's met them under "fun" circumstances like with all of her friends at a bar or concert.

That's why she's gone through a steady diet of assholes, and she isn't even on Fear Factor.

Learn to pick, and learn when to walk away. You aren't going to change him, so stop being stubborn.

Or as my wife likes to say, "Don't settle for anything less than what you want. He's out there - don't waste your time on anyone else."

have you dumped him yet?

this is what you need to know if you decide to keep him


HE WILL NEVER TREAT YOU ANY BETTER THAN HE DOES RIGHT NOW

so either you accpt him as he is or you go look for someone else. you will not change him, he will not get "better". this is IT.

if he has overriding good qualities, maybe you should keep him. i voted "break up with him today"

SNIP

Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

Break up with him. What he is doing is taking you for granted. If you feel you deserve better than that, then you do. If you don't feel you deserve better than that, then you won't ever get it.

Not that going lesbian wouldn't catch as much of my interest.

I voted 'talk to him' but what I really think is that you need to be asking yourself some serious questions:

Is he worth it?

Is the relationship worth this much effort? Would you be happier elsewhere?

Have you told him clearly about your concerns?

Are his actions ongoing or temporary?

Are there possibly hidden reasons behind his actions? (scared of attachment, being hurt... etc)

Do you love him?

Does he love you? (yes, despite his behavious he might)

I'm not sure what else I can offer, when it comes to women I'm more apt to either scare them away with too much attention, or push them away with too little. So I can't say - after all, I know how to read women even less than I know how to read men. Any woman on the planet will testify to this fact. I do know this however, If he wasn't at least a little important to you - you wouldn't be this confused right now. ;)

Perhaps a better option would have been just to give up completely and become a nun or something.

Wouldn't you have to give up the rainbow hat? Don't they always have to wear drab clothing?

Lascivious Maximus - that post gave me something to think about rather than "aaargh I'm gonna kill him". Thanx :) Bah....I'm really really bad at picking men.

Wouldn't you have to give up the rainbow hat? Don't they always have to wear drab clothing?

I could be a crime-fighting-rainbow-hat-wearing-super-nun.

I could be a crime-fighting-rainbow-hat-wearing-super-nun.

I'd pay to see that!

She's now very happy with an older guy who appreciates her. :) Yes, me. :)

Dump him and find a guy a bit older than you is my advice.

EXCELLENT advice! :D

Why are you asking the people on this board? They all collect Star Trek books and buy a lot of clearasil.

Lascivious Maximus - that post gave me something to think about rather than "aaargh I'm gonna kill him". Thanx :) Bah....I'm really really bad at picking men.
Thanks :)
I wasn't sure how that post would be received.

I'm sure you'll make the right choice, and I'm as far as you being bad at picking men - I don't beleive that, there must have been some reason - think back ;)

That said, I think we all need to have some bad relationships so we can better appreciate the good ones when we get them (and you will.)

Y'know what i hate? women who have a few bad experiences and suddenly get the idea that the whole male population are bastards.

Y'know what i hate? women who have a few bad experiences and suddenly get the idea that the whole male population are bastards.
I knew someone was gonna say that. I'm not stereotyping the whole of the male population, I just thought that "Men aaargh" would get more attention.

There's no need to be like that Belperia. I think she's well within her rights to be pissed off when he cancels their anniversary arrangements in order to get pissed with his mates.

I totally agree. It's not a casual thing, it's an anniversary. It's how you show how much you appreciate the relationship.

I find that to be fair sometimes women don't tell men in their lives what is important to them a good distance before these things come up. It's tempting to fall into the trap of expectations but I find that in any relationship you need to be clear about things. Now: if he doesn't want to even talk about it, then dump him. If you discover he didn't know how you felt and actually wants you to be happy, then you need to talk.

i don't advise "turning lesbian" if you have a problem with irrational, controlling, and selfish behavior, though...most women show such behaviors far more often than most men.

the lesbians i've known have actually shown these behaviors slightly more strongly than the hetero girls i've known. i wonder why. self re-enforcing behavior perhaps? or maybe just my skewed sample?

[RANT]
Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

I'm a guy, so take my advise with grain of salt, but IMO you should sit down with him, tell him what's on your heart, tell him exactly why you feel the way you do and give him a chance to take it seriously. If you get a favorable, thoughtful, considerate response or a good explanaiton for his behavior that makes sense to you, you should consider staying with him.

If you get nothing but selfishness and lack of concern from him, I'd suggest that you leave. It's okay to give him an ultimatim, but if you do, stick with it no matter what or he'll manipulate you and lose respect for you, if he has any to begin with.

the lesbians i've known have actually shown these behaviors slightly more strongly than the hetero girls i've known. i wonder why. self re-enforcing behavior perhaps? or maybe just my skewed sample?

Probably skewed. I've seen the same level of physical abuse amongst lesbians (woman beating woman) that I've seen in heteros (man beating woman), but I don't think I saw more of it.

Being gay or lesbian can't save you from picking the wrong partner, or from being completely stupid, rude, arrogant, abusive, or bizarre.

He brought up the one year thing...I wasnt even sure of the date until he told me (I knew it was early feb but I didnt know when). I dont want to spend the whole weekend with him - I know he's got other people that he wants to see and other stuff to do. He suggested doing something on friday night...and I agreed. Then he turned round a few days later and said "oh I'm gonna go out instead" and when I pointed out that we had plans, the response was "well nothing was set in stone". And then I got angry.

We didn't set plans far in advance...but the point is the plans were there, planned and everything!
[Emphasis mine.]

Okay, either he's completely tactless or he's deliberately disrespecting you. Either way, you should end the relationship. There are better guys out there; look for them.

This is all assuming he hasn't just booked a fab restuarant as a surprise for you of course!
If you have a date set and a surprise planned, you pull the surprise on the date, you don't blow off the woman on the planned day and surprise her later.

Turn gay. It's the only way to guarantee that no guy ever messes you about again. Just be sure to make sure your female lover likes having no freedom at all and does absolutely everything with you after a year, forsaking friendships and social entertainment.

And don't forget to go "whatever" rather than talk the situation through because you don't like arguing... I'm sure every lesbian is tolerant of exactly that.
We don't have enough information to believe that Rasselas has been controlling her boyfriends life (though the information we've been provided is very limited).

When I try and talk situations through with him, it's just impossible. He's too stubborn to listen to my point of view. And I'm too stubborn to give up. So all that happens is I get frustrated and he gets annoyed that I'm going on at him. And we get nowhere.
Hmmm.... No offense intended, but it sounds like the both of you have problem in the Conflict Resolution department.

<snip>
If you get nothing but selfishness and lack of concern from him, I'd suggest that you leave. It's okay to give him an ultimatim, but if you do, stick with it no matter what or he'll manipulate you and lose respect for you, if he has any to begin with.
Agreed.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

...

Why are you asking the people on this board? They all collect Star Trek books and buy a lot of clearasil.
OBJECTION! I do not buy Clearasil!

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

You know what to do.

Nah, she's wayyy too damned cute to be a hag. This assumes that the rainbow hat pic is real, of course.
Funny, I thought the other picture was cuter.

Break up with him before he breaks up with you. 'Cause, believe me, it's coming.

So I read your rant. Dump him. He's worthless. And that's coming from a guy.

Star Trek books and Clearasil. Well, I'm hurt.

Break up with him and take a dog.




No you freaks. Not like that.

The guy is an asshole, yes. But you know what Rasselas, you knew that day one. Men do not change over the course of a one year relationship. He was an asshole the first day you meet him and at first it probably made him attractive to you, mysterious. Whatever bullshit you want to call it. You picked an asshole and now you're stuck with the results of it. Break up with him, you never should of been in the relationship in the first place.

Okay, important questions: Did you two actually have plans? Did you talk to him in advance and say "Hey, our dating anniversary is coming up and I wanna spend the weekend with you"? How far in advance were these plans set? Did he know that this particular weekend was special, or did he forget that it was an anniversary?


Not a detailed description, but based on this information, he doesn't sound like a gentleman.


Being able to resolve conflicts is an important part of a relationship. If you two can't amicably settle an argument now, then that's a very bad sign.

My post is rushed, but real life calls. I leave you with my usual advice.

"Think about it for a moment."

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
Founder and Delegate of The Realm of Ambrosia


Your just full of usefull advice aren't you

^^ what he said/didnt say ^^

I totally agree. It's not a casual thing, it's an anniversary. It's how you show how much you appreciate the relationship.

To me its not that fact it is an anniversary, to me that is a meaningless minestone, it is the fact that they had plans and he bailed to get drunk.

Funny, I thought the other picture was cuter.

Break up with him before he breaks up with you. 'Cause, believe me, it's coming.
Nah, prettier in the other pic, but cuter in the rainbow hat one. Different scales.

If I posted a thread here titled "Women. Aaaaargh" and griped about how my fiancee won't get off my back or whatever, I would probably be deleted from NationStates. Just another example of how women can get away with more shit than we men can.

I may not be much in terms of dating partners, which may explain the fact that I never had a girlfriend until age 20, but it was a far cry better than being some man-hating feminist bitch's punching bag. And there are far more of them out there than people will admit. (Warning: Those who deny the existence of man-hating feminists may, in fact, be man-hating feminists themselves. Warning: Not all feminists are man-haters, but it's too damn hard to sort out the ones who are. Warning: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball...oops, sorry, slipped into SNL mode.)

I put the turn gay option in just to see how many people would choose it. I'm pretty sure women would drive me even more insane. Perhaps a better option would have been just to give up completely and become a nun or something.

When I try and talk situations through with him, it's just impossible. He's too stubborn to listen to my point of view. And I'm too stubborn to give up. So all that happens is I get frustrated and he gets annoyed that I'm going on at him. And we get nowhere.


You don't need him Rasselas, it would be best for you to leave him. But worry not, us nice guys are out there, and we look for the same things that nice girls look for: a loving, giving, and stable relationship that never gets dull, but only more interesting as the days go by. There are plenty of guys out there who would never do what your boyfriend is doing. He most definatly takes you for granted, and that's something us nice guys just don't do.

We're out there Rasselas, just keep your eyes open. Just when I thought I had given up on love (dated a lot of girls that acted just like your boyfriend), I met the girl I had always dreamed of. :)

Nah, prettier in the other pic, but cuter in the rainbow hat one. Different scales.
Pretty cute, maybe. 8)

Either way, they were both fairly threatening.

My boyfriends driving me INSANE. It feels like he just doesn't give a damn anymore. We'll have been together a year tomorrow, and instead of spending any time with me, ya know what hes doing? Well, tonight he's out getting high in a club somewhere (I was meant to be staying at his but he cancelled on me), tomorrow he's got "the lads" over to get wasted, sunday he's going to another mates house to stay over (and yes, get drunk again)....his reason for going out tonight is "its the only night i get to let my hair down" bullsh*t! Bah.

I've been thinking over the last week about the way he treats me...and hell, my last boyfriend was nicer, and he cheated on me! It's like he just can't be bothered putting the effort in....either because he doesn't want to be with me, or because he just assumes I'll still be there for him or something, I dunno.

Usually when we argue...or begin to argue...I just give up and go "oh whatever" because I dont like arguing. but this time I'm really really annoyed. So what should I do? I'm like <-this-> far from breaking up with the bastard, but I think I'll regret it if I do. Aaargh. Maybe I should just turn lesbian.



Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p


Break up with the bastard. right now i'm too drunk to read through the rest of this shit, so i'll just say this: i don't know you, but I already know he doesn't deserve you. you WILL be better off without that grief in your life. Why the fuck do all the pretty, interesting and engaging women like assholes? gaaah. must drink more.


meaningless emoticon time:
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :sniper: :headbang: :cool: :fluffle:

(all the fluffles cuz i miss my girl, who's 300 miles away, stupid college) (haven't seen her in a month. emotionally deprived and uber-horny.)

In my opinion, next time you see him, yell at him that your fixing to leave him if he doesn't spend time with you and see what happens, you never know, he might go crawling to your feet, begging for forgiveness and then you two can make-out and be all better again, no more hurting, lol. Past that, dumb him girl! I'm just plain lucky I found a blue eyed gent who wants to have sex with me. NOT WITHOUT A WEDDING BAND A!
~WR~

So what should I do?

Kick his ass to the curb. He doesn't deserve to be with you. In my humble opinion you have four choices.

1.Dump him.
2.Become a Satanist, and put a Hex on him.
3.Have me as your next boyfriend, then we both curse him with a Hex.
4.Ask me to cast death (free of charge) to the fool that has been taking advantage of you for far too long.
(Note:You don't have to be a Satanist or sell your soul to the Devil to cast spells. You (or the spell caster) do however have to believe in the spell, but the victim doesn't have to believe in magic in order for the spell to work. When casting destruction spells it's better that the victim doesn't believe in magic. There also is other ways to get rid of garbage besides spells...)

He isn't putting you on top of his "important things to do list" and he isn't thinking about your feelings before he runs off to the bar and get drunk with his drinking buddies. So dump him and don't look back. You will only miss the man you wish he was.

Don't forget that just because there all alot of rotten guys out there that give "man" a bad name. Doesn't mean they are all bad.

Here's my email address if you want to know more about anything... Medivh@dswebnet.com or telegram me.

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh

Why not just ask her to TG you?

Why not just ask her to TG you?

TG? Oh wait. I forgot all about telegrams. Haha. Good idea. I'll have to add that.

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh

Sorry, needed to rant at someone but none of my friends are online, so I though the nice guys in the general forum could be a focus for my rant:p

Are you ugly?????

Your probably ugly.

Are you ugly?????

Your probably ugly.
She's not.

If I was 10 years younger... and lived in England....

She's not.

If I was 10 years younger... and lived in England....

How would you know if shes ugly or not?

TG? Oh wait. I forgot all about telegrams. Haha. Good idea. I'll have to add that.

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh
Haha. The point was to avoid distributing your e-mail address freely, but you don't seem to care.

How would you know if shes ugly or not?
According to the pictures that she claims are legitimate and my own personal tastes, she's not.

According to the pictures that she claims are legitimate and my own personal tastes, she's not.

eeeew - i saw those pictures!

Shes one of those chicks that could be hot, but act all goth like and spend all day on the internet..

eeeew - i saw those pictures!

Shes one of those chicks that could be hot, but act all goth like and spend all day on the internet..
That's fine with me. I do too, except for the goth part.

Haha. The point was to avoid distributing your e-mail address freely, but you don't seem to care.

I don't care who gets my email address. I get death threats everyday in my inbox. I gotten used to it. So send your freaking hate mail to me! Mahaha. It's very boring only getting spam and death threats. So please send me something!

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh

The two pictures that I see is one happy blonde chick and the same blonde chick sad. I'd say average but certainly not ugly. Could I see ignoring her after a year and not giving a fuck about some silly "anniversary" of a first date? Yes quite easily. Is that guy an asshole? Yeah. Is she the dumb person who thought dating an asshole was a good idea? Yes.

The title of this thread should be "Argggh I'm an idiot who decided to date an asshole" not "arggh men." Women have developed a notion that men suddenly mature in their late twenties or early 30s. Not the case actually. You see, some of the more vocal, or even most, women mature in their late 20s/early 30s and start looking for a "decent" guy and lo and behold they find one. Since none of their previous bfs were decent guys they determine men are assholes till their late 20s/early 30s. While in reality the woman in question has finally actually dated a decent guy who they wouldn't even of considered dating when they were 22.

Thankfully I don't give a flying shit about relationships right now so I'm happy getting my shit together so I can make some money and I don't need some whiny bitch who thinks its the guy's fault when she picks an idiot.

eeeew - i saw those pictures!

Shes one of those chicks that could be hot, but act all goth like and spend all day on the internet..
Why exactly do people think that those who like to dress in dark clothes and look spooky are goth? A true goth would not be caught dead with a rainbow hat on, ergo she does not qualify anywhere near goth. Gosh! Freaking idiots.

You should give him as much sex as he wants and do whatever kinky thing he wants you to do. And if not him, then do it to me.

Dump him. If he's this inattentive after only a year, it'll only get worse. Don't invest anymore time in someone who's not going to make you happy. Cut your loses. You should be spending this time finding someone more suitable.

Why exactly do people think that those who like to dress in dark clothes and look spooky are goth? A true goth would not be caught dead with a rainbow hat on, ergo she does not qualify anywhere near goth. Gosh! Freaking idiots.
Still waiting for someone, anyone really, to catch the movie reference.

Okay . . .

Unlike many others who have already posted, I don't know the exact details of your situation and therefore it wouldn't be fair for me to suggest that you break up with your boyfriend - a lot of people who don't understand how relationships work will tell you that breaking up with him is the only logical answer. (I would like to say that I was surprised when I saw that such a comparatively small percentage of those who participated in your poll thought that "talking things out" would be the best solution, but I wasn't.)

I can't judge his character, nor can I judge yours, but this seems to be a classic situation. Evidently you are in love with him or are deeply attached to him in some way - if this is the case, breaking off the relationship without talking things through is not the answer, and anyone who says it is (without talking things through and attempting to come up with a good result) simply isn't being helpful and probably isn't very insightful.

I would suggest that you speak very openly (and calmly) to your boyfriend about this problem and about what you seem to sense in him; tell him that you are entirely dedicated to making the relationship work and doing whatever you can to keep it afloat (if there really is something there); but tell him, most importantly, that it is necessary for him to show respect and consideration - sometimes a simple reminder works wonders.

However if he has always been this way, then I suggest you don't set your hopes too high and instead focus on understanding your own emotions - try to decide what you really want and whether the relationship (not him, per se) is worth your effort.