NationStates Jolt Archive

Yarr harr! I am captain birdseye! feel the power of my Chicken Griddlers! MWAHAHAHAHA!

To add a topic, we've explored what you would do in the position of power, the question is how would you achieve it?

I'm gonna say for me it'd be by force. No one would elect me with my ideas...

Don't make Captain Birdseye mad now...

Hey. Do you know that song by Aerosmith? Dream on?

Hey. Do you know that song by Aerosmith? Dream on?

No but I know a song called "Highway to hell". Perhaps you should take it. :p

Nah.... I don't wanna miss a thing

Wow, that was both really fucking funny!


Could I post mine, perhaps?

why not.

The following statement is false.

What? You mean to tell me you don't recognise me as true ruler of the world???
Bow before me, "Captain"! Or feel the wrath of...this mouse!
*throws mouse and cracks computer screen*
Aww...

Anyway, I'm not telling you my evil plan, but suffice to say it involves force...

The previous statements were true.

No-because one day the world will be mine...

By the way, you cracked your own computer screen... mwahahahaha!

My evil plan uses big evil lasers.
Lots of big evil lasers.
What is it, you ask?
I'm not quite certain yet, but I know I need more lasers.

A helpful diagram:
)--> -------------------- :( <- Lasery doom
^
Laser gun

Aye aye!

Ahem.


Well, me, I live in Canada, and so, what I would need is a shitload of money. Now, I'll figure out where to get that later.

But, ok, I do huge nationwide campaign for me, blowing all my money on it, getting some support.

If I win:

I try to pass alot of bills giving me substantially more power. Also, I slowly replace the chiefs and sergants in the RCMP with people deathly loyal to me.

Then, I use the not withstanding clause to get rid of anyone who opposes me, and eventually declare myself Prime Minister for life and give myself dictatorial power. Riots ensue. RCMP crushes riots.

Checkmate.

Now, say, the more realistic scenario, in which I get a couple of seats.

I participate in parliment, but continually say that the election was invalid.

With my money, by pretty foreign weapons.

Slowly try to work my way into the RCMP leadership(through my supporters) from the outside.

Start massive(as massive as I can, anyway) protests and demonstrations.

Then declare myself the true Prime Minister, riots ensue, rebellion, whatnot. Police is split, army is useless to begin with. Use my weapons to arm my militias.

Make a desperate effort to kidnap the governor general, force him/her to declare me Prime Minister.

Anyhow, a coup d'etat, you see?

I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to bore you.

It's a big secret. But it will work. I will control the economy of the world. I will control the outcome of every major political action. You will know my name soon enough.

It's a big secret. But it will work. I will control the economy of the world. I will control the outcome of every major political action. You will know my name soon enough.
:eek:
Darth Vader? Is that you?

:eek:
Darth Vader? Is that you?
Afraid not. I am more man than machine.

My key to world domination involves this:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/peanutbutter.shtml

Muffins.

With Mind Control.

Whoot!

My plan is to train some crabs to perform street theatre - principally the cast will consist of one king crab, two fiddler crabs, a spider crab (to play the villan) and the rest will be red rock crabs. The performance will be so orrigional that soon all the ladies and counts (I said count!) in the courts will be talking of my crab show. Pretty soon I will be invited to perform in front of a king, an invitation which I will accpet.
In the final act of my performance my king crab will do an 'amussing' joke where it will steal the human king's crown and pretend to be him. While all the guards are laughing at this my fiddler crabs will confiscate their weaponry and render them useless. Pretty soon I'll have seized controll of the throne.
For the next part I'll repeat this process in every country slowely taking control of governments and kingdoms with my crabs.
Now I know what your thinking, surley after a couple of crab related coups the people will get wise to my plans. This is where I use racial prejudices to banish their fears; I will say 'Of course I managed to overthrow the king of England[Insert other country name], I mean only the English[Insert] could fall for a crab power seige. You're smarter than the English[Insert] aren't you? Of course don't watch my show if you know that you are stupider than the English[Insert]'.
Hearing this challenge those in power will fall over themselves to watch my show in an attempt to proove how smart they are in comparisson to their niegbours.

It's flawless!