NationStates Jolt Archive

Believe it or not, there are some things I don't think are funny. The list is pretty short. For instance, I hate it when someone wakes me up. Pranks based on waking people up in the middle of the night or keeping them up don't amuse me. On the other hand, waking up naturally to a shocking surprise is just fine by me.

I've noticed that people get very sensitive about their cars.

As far as humor in general, overly sexist comedians like Andrew Dice Clay and even Eddie Murphy get very old very quickly.

Where are the holes in your sense of humor?

I despise dead baby jokes. In fact, tell one around me and you'll get smacked. I dont like racial jokes. Other than that, I'm pretty much up for anything funny....

Umm but DO NOT hide behind a door or in a closet or something and jump out to scare me for the hopes of a good laugh. You will be destroyed on contact.

The only thing that I don't have a sense of humor about, are politicians in DC who take my money from me. Everything else is fair game, including: Senior Abuse, Dead Babies, Blacks, Latinos, Gays, Genocide, Indians, and Chicks!

I have yet to find anything. That might be a bad thing, but I love it.

I despise dead baby jokes. In fact, tell one around me and you'll get smacked. I dont like racial jokes. Other than that, I'm pretty much up for anything funny....

Umm but DO NOT hide behind a door or in a closet or something and jump out to scare me for the hopes of a good laugh. You will be destroyed on contact.


Whats more fun then sweeping dead babies from the sidewalk?

Whats more fun then sweeping dead babies from the sidewalk?


Johnny.....sigh :(

Oh, ditto to the "waking me up" thing. And I don't have a sense of humor if someone coats me with shaving cream while i'm flaked out. It's okay if I do it to someone else though, of course.

I don't have a sense of humor about rape, self-victimization, ethnic jokes, jokes about homosexuality, and fart-humor type jokes.

I don't have a sense of humor about rape, self-victimization, ethnic jokes, jokes about homosexuality, and fart-humor type jokes.

It's an odd thing. I can joke about male rape, but not about female rape. :confused:

oh god...i've been the victim of many shaving cream attacks during the night, and I dont really find those funny...I just get pissed off because 1. they have awoken me. 2. I don't physically have the energy at 4 AM to get up and walk up the stairs and wash it off. 3. I have to try to get back to sleep which is hard for me. Anything else I will probably laugh at.

I never have a sense of humour about threats to my life. Like when somebody's holding a gun to my head, and everybody else is laughing...
I just don't get it...

No, seriously, when people jokingly threaten me I always react badly. Like when sombody waves something pointy in my general direction and says something that's supposed to be funny, I usually miss the funny bit because I'm out their front door by then and running.

I only laugh at certain ethnic jokes if someone of that ethniticity tells it, like my friend whos from India and tells lot of jokes about them. Oh ya and how many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Not that I find those jokes perticularly funny but peechland just had to remind me.

It's an odd thing. I can joke about male rape, but not about female rape. :confused:

No jokes about ANY rape.

I don't have a sense of humor.

Johnny.....sigh :(

Sorry, but snowblowing them is more fun!! ;)

oh god...i've been the victim of many shaving cream attacks during the night, and I dont really find those funny...I just get pissed off because 1. they have awoken me. 2. I don't physically have the energy at 4 AM to get up and walk up the stairs and wash it off. 3. I have to try to get back to sleep which is hard for me. Anything else I will probably laugh at.

Well, i'll laugh if the shaving cream is put in a surprise spot, like inside my shoes. I just don't want it on me while I sleep for the reasons you said. Oh, and even worse, I once had toothpaste put all over me while I was passed out. I woke up because my eyes started burning. That pissed me off.

I find everything funny. Except clowns. Clowns are evil. It's well known.

I don't have a sense of humor about rape, self-victimization, ethnic jokes, jokes about homosexuality, and fart-humor type jokes.


Doesn't sound like you have a sense of humor. :(

I only laugh at certain ethnic jokes if someone of that ethniticity tells it, like my friend whos from India and tells lot of jokes about them.

Yeah, I agree.

Any jokes that deliberately disparage a group are not funny.

Animal cruelty. For some reason people seem to think its funny to set small animals on fire.
I wish I had a gallon of gas and a lighter for every person who did that 'For a laugh'.

Sorry, but snowblowing them is more fun!! ;)

that does it.......*tips over johnnys wheelchair*

I remember one time at work we did an awesome prank.

There was a lady who would take a nap in her office at times. Well three of us would scamper into her office, unzip our flies, and open up mayo packets. Now we would all warm the packets up in our hands and squeeze them onto her face. As soon as she woke up we'd turn quick and zip up. You should have seen her face, priceless! :)

BTW this was before the days of sexual harrasment charges!

Animal cruelty. For some reason people seem to think its funny to set small animals on fire.
I wish I had a gallon of gas and a lighter for every person who did that 'For a laugh'.

Oh, that's definitely not funny either. That just pisses me off too :mad:

Really obvious sit-com humour just makes me turn the tv off. Not funny.

I don't like when people say "retards" or "thats retarded." Granted, I let it slip out of my mouth occasionally, but I really don't like it.

BTW....this is really creepy, but Peechland, you were in my dream last night. I was driving around, and this car pulled up next to me, and the license plate said "Peechland" and so it was you. I found that very strange.

that does it.......*tips over johnnys wheelchair*


Wouldn't be the first time! ;) But I do have some good news.

My artificial legs are really comfy and I am learning to walk with them again. Also my arms aren't too bad either, saddly I won't be able to type anytime soon with them, but que sera sera!

Believe it or not, there are some things I don't think are funny. The list is pretty short. For instance, I hate it when someone wakes me up. Pranks based on waking people up in the middle of the night or keeping them up don't amuse me. On the other hand, waking up naturally to a shocking surprise is just fine by me.

I've noticed that people get very sensitive about their cars.

As far as humor in general, overly sexist comedians like Andrew Dice Clay and even Eddie Murphy get very old very quickly.

Where are the holes in your sense of humor?
my SOH is wide ranging, more-so than most of my friends, but none of us like practical jokes at all.

I don't like when people say "retards" or "thats retarded." Granted, I let it slip out of my mouth occasionally, but I really don't like it.

BTW....this is really creepy, but Peechland, you were in my dream last night. I was driving around, and this car pulled up next to me, and the license plate said "Peechland" and so it was you. I found that very strange.


LOL......Strange indeed Mistress K..... ;)

ohh...maybe I will have a dream about you tonight. Now that would be freaky. :eek:

With reference to the shaving cream jokes, one that is guaranteed to piss someone off is to freeze a can so that the can splits off, leaving you with a solid lump of shaving foam. Put this in someones glove-compartment or under the seat in their car. If you value your life, leave no trace, and emigrate immediately. As the car warms up, the foam expands...

As to things I don't find funny, there, shamefully, isn't much.

Doesn't sound like you have a sense of humor. :(

Sorry, I'm hardcore into the social sciences, so that means that I don't like a lot of jokes told in the mainstream. If it makes it up to you, though, I like WWE wrestling... I like things so stupid they are funny. I like a lot of jokes in sci-fi shows too.

Animal cruelty. For some reason people seem to think its funny to set small animals on fire.
I wish I had a gallon of gas and a lighter for every person who did that 'For a laugh'.

I guess you wouldn't find it funny if you saw us shoot Crows and Squirrels with 12 gauge 00 buckshot. KAPOW!!

Wouldn't be the first time! ;) But I do have some good news.

My artificial legs are really comfy and I am learning to walk with them again. Also my arms aren't too bad either, saddly I won't be able to type anytime soon with them, but que sera sera!

ok..way to make a girl feel bad. I wont tip you over anymore if you dont do anymore dead baby jokes....deal?

With reference to the shaving cream jokes, one that is guaranteed to piss someone off is to freeze a can so that the can splits off, leaving you with a solid lump of shaving foam. Put this in someones glove-compartment or under the seat in their car. If you value your life, leave no trace, and emigrate immediately. As the car warms up, the foam expands...

As to things I don't find funny, there, shamefully, isn't much.

We used to spray fix a flat all over the backseat and dashboard.

ok..way to make a girl feel bad. I wont tip you over anymore if you dont do anymore dead baby jokes....deal?

Don't worry about it. My friends call me MATT, BOB, and ART for obvious reasons.

Agreed BTW.

We used to spray fix a flat all over the backseat and dashboard.

Harsh, but funny at the same time. I'll try and find the picture of someone we taped to a ceiling for five and a half hours at our end-of-college party.

Don't worry about it. My friends call me MATT, BOB, and ART for obvious reasons.

Agreed BTW.

see..i knew you werent all bad ;)

Harsh, but funny at the same time. I'll try and find the picture of someone we taped to a ceiling for five and a half hours at our end-of-college party.

That's nothing, my drunk "buddies" tied me to a ceiling fan after they hid my devices, and left me be a fan for the night, about 2 hours later my wife went looking for me. It was sort of fun, but I got tired of it after the first 10,000 times around.

that reminds me of obie trice eminem - what do you do when shit hits the fan

That's nothing, my drunk "buddies" tied me to a ceiling fan after they hid my devices, and left me be a fan for the night, about 2 hours later my wife went looking for me. It was sort of fun, but I got tired of it after the first 10,000 times around.


OMG......id have kicked their asses if i was your wife.

I find everything funny. Except clowns. Clowns are evil. It's well known.

Shhh! It's not that well known! We can still surprise some people. :)

LOL......Strange indeed Mistress K..... ;)

ohh...maybe I will have a dream about you tonight. Now that would be freaky. :eek:

that would be freaky....seriously, i woke up and i was like wtf.... :p

I don't have a sense of humor about rape,


Hm. Fair 'nuff. Try as I might I really can't think of a good rape joke.


self-victimization,


..so no jokes about people beating the crap out of themselves?


ethnic jokes,


Not even if it begins with "there was a white chick from Calcutta..."?

Wot about limeys, old bean?


jokes about homosexuality,


Bah, nothing that a good rodgering wouldn't solve. I'll see you later if you like, love.


and fart-humor type jokes.

Dammit, that's half my repertoire!

...you sure there's no room for negotiation in there?
Not even a tiny bit?

Where are the holes in your sense of humor?

I have no sense of humor when it comes to the Middle East.

I'm pretty ok with a lot of jokes, but much of what I see about the middle east - cave dwelling, camel riding, stone age, etc etc - is so beyond untrue that I get a little annoyed.

I can laugh about a lot of things, but I can never laugh about ignorance.

With reference to the shaving cream jokes, one that is guaranteed to piss someone off is to freeze a can so that the can splits off, leaving you with a solid lump of shaving foam. Put this in someones glove-compartment or under the seat in their car. If you value your life, leave no trace, and emigrate immediately. As the car warms up, the foam expands...

As to things I don't find funny, there, shamefully, isn't much.

Somebody has been reading the Anarchist's Cookbook/Jolly Roger's Cookbook?

IIRC, you use liquid nitrogen, and use a lot more than one can, so it completely fills and slightly pressurises the inside of the car, so that when your victim opens the door they get hit by a crapload of foam escaping. Supposedly you do it on a frosty day to disguise the foam.

Also, like most things in the JRC, they aren't exactly tried and tested ideas...

as long as you dont cause any damage to property its all fair game

I too hate being woken up.

Things I will not tolerate jokes about:
Rape
People with eating disorders, who cut themselves, etc.
Hate
Child molesters

I also hate being woken up.

I despise dead baby jokes. In fact, tell one around me and you'll get smacked. I dont like racial jokes. Other than that, I'm pretty much up for anything funny....

Umm but DO NOT hide behind a door or in a closet or something and jump out to scare me for the hopes of a good laugh. You will be destroyed on contact.

Coming from someone who calls themselves Peechland, I somehow don't think I would have a problem saying Dead Baby Jokes around you. :D

I also hate being woken up.
but that is why its funny

Whats more fun then sweeping dead babies from the sidewalk?
how many babies does it take to paint a house?

I wouldn't say I don't like then, so much as I have a really dark sense of humour...

- all racial jokes (except broad and general ones, like the ones about the UN, and the ones about Quebec).
- just about all bad jokes
- knock-knock jokes

anything is fair game with me. i can laugh at anything at all. i mean anything. if you want to see my dead cat practical jokes- go here-
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8100490#post8100490 page 36 and 37.
and dont get mad.

Let's see...I hate overtly racist jokes unless they are told by someone of that race (so Chris Rock can joke all he wants about black people, but the minute he starts talking bad about whites, Mexicans, etc. it's over the line.) And even then it can't be too derogatory; if it is, it just isn't funny.

I hate humor that's just too insanely stupid. I am all for humor that enables you to put your brain on power-saving mode, but if you have to turn it off entirely to get it, then it's not funny.

I don't like dead baby jokes...not because they're sick but because they're dumb.

I have no sense of humor when it comes to overt male-bashing, because as a guy, I can't tell when a girl really "means it". It's one thing to tell a sexist joke because you don't mean it; it's another to tell it because you do. That said, any joke about "women belong barefoot in the kitchen" is done to death anyway and really isn't funny.

Anything involving an ongoing tragedy (rape, murder, spousal abuse, etc.) is not funny. Anything relating to a specific tragedy can be funny if done from the right angle...like it's not about people dying and is instead about one of the side effects of it.

Being annoying is not a way to be funny. Shut the hell up already if you're annoying.

Oh yeah, and don't wake me up and try to be funny about it.

Self-deprecating humor pisses me off. I can't stand it. Self-deprecation in general just comes off as manipulative to me.

There are jokes that I would classify as being in extremely poor taste, but with those it's not necessarily the subject matter but the way the joke is delivered, or the wording of the punchline.

Coming from someone who calls themselves Peechland, I somehow don't think I would have a problem saying Dead Baby Jokes around you. :D


Why? Whats the name Peechland have to do with dead baby jokes. I live in Ga, which is the Peach State, but NS wouldnt let me choose Peachland, so I put Peechland. am I not seeing the relevance?

I tend not to laugh at jokes that poke fun at women ... I have a mother, a wife, and two daughters and I've never seen them go nuts over a shoe sale, my wife drives better than I do, and so on.

I just don't find it funny. It doesn't anger me (so don't bother trying), I just won't laugh.

I'm also not amused when I'm sleeping and someone puts their dick in my mouth and takes a picture. (Damn you, LG!)

Otherwise, meh. If it's funny, I chuckle and move on. If it's not, I roll my eyes and move on.

Everything is funny depending on how you look at it. I don't always think this way, but EVERYTHING can be funny.

Death, suffering, disease, famine.

I do make jokes about them but only when it's horribly out of context

Death, suffering, disease, famine.


Not a big fan of the horsemen, eh?

Not a big fan of the horsemen, eh?
Nah.... Except when they're in discworld

dead baby jokes, i hate them, they make me feel sick

I'd say intent, context, and acceptance determine what I do and don't have a sense of humor about.

Verbal jokes on almost any subject are fine, in the proper context - dead baby jokes at a child's funeral are generally right out, for example.

But overall, I find physical jokes at the unwilling and undeserved expense of others in bad taste.

WC Fields' comment "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally." says alot as to ethnic humor.

Racism, religion, child abuse, and joking about someones increadible misfortune. I don't want to hear the one about the guy who got ripped in half on the highway by a bus. Some people will joke about that stuff.

Dead baby jokes...especially when a group of you idiots decide to spam my thread with them a week after my best friend's daughter died. Yeah. Not funny.

Jokes about child abuse...very touchy...having daughters, I don't find any of that funny. Rape or abuse of women....also not funny considering how much that kind of crap goes on in real life. Make your own goddamn sandwich you lazy bastard. (Drunken Commies...though I've since forgiven you). Racist jokes told by white people who 'have a friend that's (insert ethnicity) so it's okay for me to say...'. Racist jokes told by anyone, unless it's their own ethnicity and that is apparent. Saying you will spit in my children's faces for being racial 'mutts' will get you NO laughter.

Honestly, jokes that belittle or humiliate anyone are not on my laugh list. There's plenty of things that make me laugh in life, but I don't have the need to enjoy myself at someone else's expense.

I guess I can find anything funny under the right circumstances.

The thing is, when people make so-called jokes that are not really meant to be funny but actually meant to be a commonly acceptable form of an otherwise utterly serious belief. Like, KKK folks who make jokes about hanging niggers. Even if the joke was funny, it'd be far more funny if it didn't reflect the seriously deranged and sad beliefs of the one telling it. Then the joke is really just a mask for their own hatred, which is itself slightly amusing to me but then I find stupid people themselves funny.

I guess I can find anything funny under the right circumstances.

The thing is, when people make so-called jokes that are not really meant to be funny but actually meant to be a commonly acceptable form of an otherwise utterly serious belief. Like, KKK folks who make jokes about hanging niggers. Even if the joke was funny, it'd be far more funny if it didn't reflect the seriously deranged and sad beliefs of the one telling it. Then the joke is really just a mask for their own hatred, which is itself slightly amusing to me but then I find stupid people themselves funny.
Good point. It's sometimes hard (especially over the internet) to tell when someone is making a joke to satarize an issue they think needs attention, or whether they are telling the joke because they actually think it's funny. Satire or bad taste...in real life I have a much easier time telling the difference.

I think this thread has proved that you can't tell any kind of joke, anywhere, ever, without pissing at least one person off.

Very few jokes about violence against someone weaker, such as animals or children, are funny. I also don't find rape or domestic violence funny.

I'm one who can laugh at nearly anything. Even very politically-incorrect or distasteful jokes.

Though what I cannot stand is people trying to be funny but their not.

Oh... and jokes that involve hurting physically or financially other people.

Very few jokes about violence against someone weaker, such as animals or children, are funny. I also don't find rape or domestic violence funny.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Forgetful!


What's the number 1 reason for domestic abuse?

They just don't listen!

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

A Panda! Cute Cute Panda!

So a baby seal walked into a club...

So a baby seal walked into a club...

Hah. And ordered a Bloody Mary?

I hate family jokes. That is to say jokes that are aimed at a person in ones family. "Yo Mama ..." etc. It is just not right to do that to any person.

All humour is good.
All moquing is bad (well the most of it).
Pain is not funny.

Humor comes from unexpectability. No humor is funny, if there's nothing new. That's the rule.

For example, much of this bullying mistaken for "practical jokes" are not humor at all. They're simply humiliation, bullying and annoying someone. What do you expect someone in that situation to do? It's a power fantasy, not humor, if you want to tie someone to a flagpole for a night. If I was drunk, I'd want to shoot, not laugh with someone who does things like puts a bicycle tire pump up my ass. There's nothing funny about that - it's just perverted. If the "target" *can't* laugh himself because he thinks it's funny, then it's not funny.

A good practical joke can be funny. For example, MIT hacks.

For the same reason, I hate the TV show "Gags - Just for laughs." More often than not, they dress as a policeman, and then do something stupid. Just think. People are told whole their lives that they should do what the policeman says. If they get confused, when someone looks exactly like one and does something stupid, it's not funny, it's totally predictable.

Again, for the same reason, jokes that are supposed to be funny just because they're so dirty aren't. This one, for example, is unfunny: "A sailor said to another: - I think that the first officer is becoming gay. - Why do you think so? - This morning, his dick tasted like shit." Hehe, someone said penis and feces dirtyly, EEEK, HAHA. Not.

And again, jokes that are supposed to be funny because they have a point aren't. For example, "How long is your foot? - 30,48 cm!" The champion of this is the American TV show Friends. A great deal of American humor is similar. It's not just that there is a punchline, it has to be good.

Conan's show is the number one for producing lousy humor with the idea that if it's weird, it has to be funny. Like the Masturbating Bear. Uh, a bear masturbates. That's *weird*, not funny.

Dead baby jokes, racial jokes, all other such things are cool. Anything goes as long as it's only a joke you tell or write someone. Sometimes a joke can be really harsh and then so unpredictable that you'll have to laugh. For example, this:

"A woman was in a store, laying the groceries on the conveyor. The cashier saw one carton of milk, one bottle of soda, one bag of bread, and so on. The cashier asked:
- You must be single.
- How did you know?
- Because you're so fucking ugly."

Let's see here... Harsh, prejudicial comments top my list of comedy pet peeves. I also hate jokes about animal cruelty. Damn, I'm such a hippie! Anyway... uh... yeah, I'm mostly cool about anything else.

I once had toothpaste put all over me while I was passed out. I woke up because my eyes started burning. That pissed me off.

Ok..that would probably send me into a rage..man I feel for you..toothpaste is all gritty and in your eye would just...ugh.

People talking about killing bugs.

People talking about killing bugs.

What's to talk about? I can't recall any bug-squashing jokes off the top of my head.

But I'll be certain to leave any bug-squashing out of any humorous anecdotes I tell in the future. :)

I don't know what I don't find funny. Well, I do, but it's very vague. I can't stand malevolant humour. If it makes the guy on the recieving end miserable, it isn't funny. Other than that, I'unno. Big gulf between tasteless and not funny, hmmm?

What's to talk about? I can't recall any bug-squashing jokes off the top of my head.
People don't really say it that much, but people have said it on occasion when I talk about my love of insects...it's just traumatising.

But I'll be certain to leave any bug-squashing out of any humorous anecdotes I tell in the future. :)
Thankee kindly!

I hate it when people pull pranks on me.

I hate jokes about beating up women, humiliating women, etc. I value women, as much as I value my own life. (EDIT: But that value stops at abortion)

And DON'T do killing-the-cat jokes. *cracks knuckles* I've had enough cats die on me already.