NationStates Jolt Archive

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

"It's time to rise up..."

...and don't get up

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!
I always take the bed ... she can try to move me if she wishes I can go with less sleep then just about anyone so no use trying to keep me awake

If they did that, the woman would kick their asses.

I've never been kicked out of my bed - I have however been kicked out my own house, which was very strange to say the least.

If you kick her out of the bed she will cut you off. And thats no fun.
Y didn't i think off that when i told her to get out! :headbang:

If they did that, the woman would kick their asses.

Leading to my next question, why do women kick mens asses? If some bitch women started kicking my ass I'd be like "Ayy! Why dont you get your bitch ass over to the kitchen and make me a pie!"

And if she still kicked my ass, I would grab her next limb that came at me. and squeeze very hard and say to her "do you want to leave now?"

I've never been kicked out of my bed - I have however been kicked out my own house, which was very strange to say the least.

And you just stood around like a moron? You need to keep a strong pimp hand!

Men do, because they can

I always take the bed ... she can try to move me if she wishes I can go with less sleep then just about anyone so no use trying to keep me awake

Good, good. That'll show them. The next day they get fired from their job for being lazy and tired, and you say "Why were you so tired?" They will say, "I was trying to get you out of bed last night." Than you say "If you wanted me to get you some more pudding you just should've asked." Than hunch your hip area back and their foot will miss the crotch my about 5 inches. Than lurch your hips forward and move your head back (to avoid the bitch slap by .05 seconds.

I can only suggest that the fault lies with those who allow themselves to be kicked out of bed. If for some reason I dont wish to sleep next to someone, unless that person has no legitimate reason for being in a particular bed, it's up to me to find somewhere else for myself...I have on occassions slept on the floor, that was my choice because I wished to not sleep next to my partner on the occasions concerned. I sure as heck didnt tell them to move, and I think that they would have to be suckers to have moved. If your partner doesnt wish to sleep where you are, and you have a legitimate right to be there, suggest to your partner that they are indeed welcome to not sleep where you are, but by the way, you are not moving, so 'good luck finding somewhere cosy honey...'

That's my advice, and if you choose not to take it, you have only yourself to blame if you find yourself camped out on furniture illadapted to sleeping on.

And you just stood around like a moron? You need to keep a strong pimp hand!
I was a little too shocked to realize what had happened for a minute - meanwhile, she was inside laughing - realizing how ridiculous it was. It was ok though, becuase that pretty much ended the little rift. :p

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!
Get in the living room and fix that broken TV set, man! :gundge:

It's simple - if you lay on a hand on her, she can cry bloody murder and have your ass busted by the police. Further, what are the chances of a cop NOT laughing at you if you say that your wife kicked your ass? (unless there was a weapon involved)... *shrug*

Heh. Damn evil women. I don't understand feminists, you already have us on a very tight leash. And they want more! *cries* Why can't you just leave us alone, you sick people!!! :(

My fiancee and I haven't had such a fight that's gotten one of us kicked out of bed, but one of us will sleep in another room if the other snores too much...like if we're really congested or one of us won't stay off her back **cough**notme**cough** We pretty well take turns with regard to who leaves the room...though here at my new lace, it's a choice between a king-size featherbed and a futon, while at home it was a choice between said king-size bed and a king-size waterbed, so it didn't make a bit of difference.

Always argue naked. You can't stay mad at each other.

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages yet still insist that we pay the bill for dinner pay for the ring and just about anything else while we are dating?
im not agianst equal wages im just saying split the freakin bill

this is from the mind of a now VERY broke 17 year old

I think its all a feminist plot to ensure that the couch is kept nice and warm for them to wake up come downstairs and watch daytime TV.
The next stage in the feminst plot is to make polyandry legal thereby allowing two husbands on the trot- one of whom will work constant nightshift
One husband will serve as a couchwarmer during the night, the other will be responsible for being a bed warmer during the day.

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages



http://www.newswithviews.com/Roberts/carey46.htm

i cant believe this. i have never been married but i was in a three year relationship. i never threw him out of the bed. ever. i was usually the one to start and/or press argumentative issues, and i would sleep on the couch. not that i sleep much- it was more like sat on the couch, reading and smoking.
and even though i am known as a bit of an ass kicker, [i fight with my male buddies all the time to see who is a better wwf wrestler] i would never ever think of hitting, slapping, kicking or punching my bf. if i did, i would fully expect him to hit me right back.

women ask to be hated sometimes, i think.

Heh. Damn evil women. I don't understand feminists, you already have us on a very tight leash. And they want more! *cries* Why can't you just leave us alone, you sick people!!! :(


Marry a good woman and it won't be an issue.

Marry a radical feminist, and you get what you deserve, that's all I can say. If you don't like the woman, (you certainly ought not to marry her, cause of it you don't like somebody, it stands without reason, you can't love them)

i cant believe this. i have never been married but i was in a three year relationship. i never threw him out of the bed. ever. i was usually the one to start and/or press argumentative issues, and i would sleep on the couch. not that i sleep much- it was more like sat on the couch, reading and smoking.
and even though i am known as a bit of an ass kicker, [i fight with my male buddies all the time to see who is a better wwf wrestler] i would never ever think of hitting, slapping, kicking or punching my bf. if i did, i would fully expect him to hit me right back.

women ask to be hated sometimes, i think.


um do you mean WWE? otherwise you are showing who the better
world wildlife foundation wrestler is

What do you do if your wife comes into the living room from the kitchen and starts yelling at you?

Make the chain shorter..

um do you mean WWE? otherwise you are showing who the better
world wildlife foundation wrestler is
that is a hell of a typo to make.

Leading to my next question, why do women kick mens asses? If some bitch women started kicking my ass I'd be like "Ayy! Why dont you get your bitch ass over to the kitchen and make me a pie!"

And if she still kicked my ass, I would grab her next limb that came at me. and squeeze very hard and say to her "do you want to leave now?"

Cartman? Eric Cartman, is that you?

i cant believe this. i have never been married but i was in a three year relationship. i never threw him out of the bed. ever. i was usually the one to start and/or press argumentative issues, and i would sleep on the couch. not that i sleep much- it was more like sat on the couch, reading and smoking.
and even though i am known as a bit of an ass kicker, [i fight with my male buddies all the time to see who is a better wwf wrestler] i would never ever think of hitting, slapping, kicking or punching my bf. if i did, i would fully expect him to hit me right back.

women ask to be hated sometimes, i think.


And of course, if you hit him, you'd fully deserve being hit back. Although I personally, don't think I could hit a woman back, certainly hold her hands to keep her from continuing to punch, but punching her back? That just seems low.

Why dont we do that ever?
Because then she won't have sex with you anymore. Pretty simple really.

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages yet still insist that we pay the bill for dinner pay for the ring and just about anything else while we are dating?
im not agianst equal wages im just saying split the freakin bill

this is from the mind of a now VERY broke 17 year old

Men pay for the ring, women pay for the wedding dress. It's about equal in the end, assuming that the man actually buys a ring (I did...and I put down $145 a month to prove it) and the woman actually buys a wedding dress (my fiancee intends to.) Some people cut corners with that, wearing heirlooms or something.

We also take turns paying for dinner...whoever has money at the time pays. If it's the 9th or 24th, I pay; if it's around the 4th or 19th, she probably pays...if I let her; I am extremely stubborn and rarely let her pay for me. I won't let her put down a dime for rent on out apartment, and I insist on paying for the cable, as I am the only one who really uses it (she watches one hour of TV a day; I watch about six.) So again, it's whoever using it being the one to pay for it most of the time, or whoever having money at the time. Women are not all evil gold-digging creatures, though some have an easier time believing that than others.

And of course, if you hit him, you'd fully deserve being hit back. Although I personally, don't think I could hit a woman back, certainly hold her hands to keep her from continuing to punch, but punching her back? That just seems low.
yeah, but think about it. it is low for a chick to hit her guy. the same guy who buys her shit, puts up with her shit, tells her she is pretty, makes her think she is the center of the universe, and defines her a desirable, taken woman. then he does something she doesnt like, and wham! she can resort to violence? thats ridiculous. could you do that to a kid? your mother? a teacher? fuck no. so why is it right when its someone you love ? its bullshit. i invoke the golden rule here.
btw, i think its cool that you wouldnt hit her back. i do not really my bf, he is 6'5, 250. would hit me either. but i expect it, therefore, i wouldn't lay a hand on him.

that is a hell of a typo to make.

Probably not a typo - the WWE used to be the WWF before the real WWF(World Wild Life Foundation) sued them for the name.

Men pay for the ring, women pay for the wedding dress. It's about equal in the end, assuming that the man actually buys a ring (I did...and I put down $145 a month to prove it) and the woman actually buys a wedding dress (my fiancee intends to.) Some people cut corners with that, wearing heirlooms or something.

We also take turns paying for dinner...whoever has money at the time pays. If it's the 9th or 24th, I pay; if it's around the 4th or 19th, she probably pays...if I let her; I am extremely stubborn and rarely let her pay for me. I won't let her put down a dime for rent on out apartment, and I insist on paying for the cable, as I am the only one who really uses it (she watches one hour of TV a day; I watch about six.) So again, it's whoever using it being the one to pay for it most of the time, or whoever having money at the time. Women are not all evil gold-digging creatures, though some have an easier time believing that than others.

i mean premarital dating

Probably not a typo - the WWE used to be the WWF before the real WWF(World Wild Life Foundation) sued them for the name.

World Wildlife foundation wrestling would be an interesting show though

i mean premarital dating

Is there such a thing as post marital dating?

Is there such a thing as post marital dating?Yes.

i mean premarital dating

Ummm...key word in my post, in that case, is "fiancee." Not "wife." Plus that's how it's been for us for the past year-and-a-half. Whoever had the money paid. Even when we had only been dating for a few weeks.

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

hey, don't go to bed angry, don't cheat on your girl, don't be an asshole, you'll be find (except i've noticed an uncanny attraction of the most interesting girls toward assholes.)

meaningless emoticon time!
:upyours: :gundge: :cool: :sniper: :mad: :eek:

Ummm...key word in my post, in that case, is "fiancee." Not "wife." Plus that's how it's been for us for the past year-and-a-half. Whoever had the money paid. Even when we had only been dating for a few weeks.

man you got a good one then

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

Supporting her? Ah ha ha ha!
And because I'm meaner than he is.

OK in my experience, only my now wife ever wanted to pay half (not really an option as she had 0 left after paying her bills).

As for the bed, we dont have the hormones that cause them to start the arguments, and for that we should be greatful and not fret over it, they normally have a bit of a point. Thats why it's called being a man about it.

My problem is with femail bosses. You don't love them but you still have to deal with the hormones. :headbang:
That is just not fair.

Marry a good woman and it won't be an issue.

Marry a radical feminist, and you get what you deserve, that's all I can say. If you don't like the woman, (you certainly ought not to marry her, cause of it you don't like somebody, it stands without reason, you can't love them)

What's your definition of "good woman", though? One who does what she is told?

I've never been kicked out of bed.

However, that's probably because I actually think *before* speaking.

17 years of marriage piping in here.

If ANY fight leads to someone getting kicked out of bed, then the relationship is already in huge trouble. End it now.

My wife and I fight...most people who live with each other will, eventually. The key is to LISTEN more than you speak, and make concessions when necessary to bring everyone back to a happy place.

Oh, and marry someone who you would have as a friend, even if you weren't married.

One last thing...always remember (especially during fights) WHY you are with this person, and what this thing you are fighting about means in the grand scheme of things. You'll find it probably means very little.

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!
women who are worth anything at all would never resort to kicking a man out of bed, because that is a childish and pathetic tactic that only highlights how helpless and stupid the woman is for resorting to it. men get kicked out of bed by women who have no actual control over themselves or their lives...the woman KNOWS she is dependent on the man, and usually is aware on some level that whatever she is pissed about is probably her fault. the man allows her to do this because he knows how stupid it is, and he knows that she will get over it--because she has to get over it or he will stop supporting her--so he goes to watch the game while she pouts.

think of it this way: when your toddler throws a tantrum you send it to its room, but when women throw tantrums they save you the trouble and send THEMSELVES to their room.

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

Now, I'm going to take this statement with a grain of salt, because I know how much you like to make inflammatory statements, then sit back and watch the feathers fly. However:

Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. So if the woman supports the man, or buys the bed, it's okay? Can one only be kicked out of a bed if they don't own it? This is patently ridiculous. Generally when two people get into the kind of fight that would necessitate them sleeping apart, it isn't a case of, "Get out of my bed and go sleep on the couch", but rather a mutual feeling that they don't want to sleep in the same bed. Sleeping together (sleep, not sex) is a sign of intimacy, and something you don't really want when egos are bruised.

Why is it the man who 'usually' sleeps elsewhere? Well, in the traditional situation you are speaking of (where the man 'supports' the wife...no longer as common as women generally work as well now) there were certain areas that 'belonged' to one gender or the other. The woman's areas included the kitchen and the bedroom, and the man 'ruled' the living room, the dining room (head of the table), the family room (if there was a separate one from the living room), and of course, the garage. Why would a man, angry with his wife, kick her out of the bedroom, and then deny himself access to the television? It's a question of comfort....how many traditional (now old) men do you know who spent a lot of time in the (usually femininely decorated) bedroom as opposed to the living room? I don't think in most cases that it is one spouse 'kicking out' another, but rather, when angry, the two remove themselves to their areas of comfort in order to be apart. Would YOU want to sleep beside an angry spouse? This is of course, all highly anecdotal, and not supported by a shred of evidence, but I'm just proposing a theory.

Now, for your remark that men should 'rise up' and 'overcome' and kick the woman out of the bed...

Times have changed. The men are not the sole breadwinners anymore. I don't know a single woman under forty that doesn't work for a wage (including those who have stayed home with their kids, who all run day homes so they can afford to). Many women of my generation were raised with the idea that we needed to get educated, get employed, and generally be able to support ourselves and any children we may have JUST IN CASE things didn't work out with our spouses (or if we didn't want one). Getting into a pissing match over who bought what, and who therefore has more rights to it is ridiculous. Fine, kick me out of the bed you bought...forget about sleeping on the couch I bought, or watching the t.v I purchased, or eating the food I prepared, or.... really. Not mature.

Times have changed. Men and women are trying to break out of their gender roles. That brings a new emphasis on communication...just look at the popularity of that shiny-headed idiot, 'Doctor' Phil. The point being, men and women are encouraged to talk things out instead of resorting to the 'silent' treatment. Does everyone do it? No...but you look at successful marriages, and you know what the common theme is? Communication. Sharing. Not, "this is mine, this is yours and when we get divorced I get this and you get that". If you need time apart because you're angry...take it. No one should be forced out of bed...if you're angry enough, man or woman, you won't WANT to sleep with your partner that night. Hopefully in the morning you'll have cooled down enough to talk over what happened, like mature adults.

Otherwise...it might be time for a stint at the divorce court.

And you just stood around like a moron? You need to keep a strong pimp hand!
Yes, men should be pimps, and women are hos. Wow. You listen to too much Snoop Doggy Dog.

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages yet still insist that we pay the bill for dinner pay for the ring and just about anything else while we are dating?
im not agianst equal wages im just saying split the freakin bill

this is from the mind of a now VERY broke 17 year old
Well, I wouldn't go judging every woman by your experience with a few (or one). EVERY female does NOT demand you pay the bill or buy a ring etc. etc. Going Dutch is a lot more common anymore. Don't let television commercials determine your gender roles (that goes for women too!). (A diamond is a girl's best friend? Please. They look like glass to me)

i cant believe this. i have never been married but i was in a three year relationship. i never threw him out of the bed. ever. i was usually the one to start and/or press argumentative issues, and i would sleep on the couch. not that i sleep much- it was more like sat on the couch, reading and smoking.
and even though i am known as a bit of an ass kicker, [i fight with my male buddies all the time to see who is a better wwf wrestler] i would never ever think of hitting, slapping, kicking or punching my bf. if i did, i would fully expect him to hit me right back.

women ask to be hated sometimes, i think.
Ah Occ, the feminist who hates feminists:)

And of course, if you hit him, you'd fully deserve being hit back. Although I personally, don't think I could hit a woman back, certainly hold her hands to keep her from continuing to punch, but punching her back? That just seems low.
While I am generally big and strong enough to do the same I know more then a few woman doing that will cause you a broken arm :D know thy opponent :D

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages yet still insist that we pay the bill for dinner pay for the ring and just about anything else while we are dating?
im not agianst equal wages im just saying split the freakin bill

this is from the mind of a now VERY broke 17 year old
What is it with a certain type of juvenile male and their insistence that all female kind are to blame for their poor dating choices?

In the first place, just the other day a male friend of mine was moaning about how a women gave him a hard time when he tried to pay for the meal they had just shared. So clearly what you are saying isnt true.

In the second place, yes, if you offer someone something, they do expect that you, and not they will provide. If I invite you to my house and extend an offer of coffee, should you come, I dont expect you to bring half the ingrediants for two cups of coffee with you.

If I invite someone somewhere, or offer them something (as distinct from suggest we go somewhere together, or do something/consume something together) I am presuming that if my offer is accepted, I will provide and pay for what I have offered. That's the whole point of me offering it! The gender/sex of the person concerned isnt relevent.

There is a distinction between
'Should we go and get a coffee?'
and
'come out with me for a coffee.'
One is a suggestion and makes no offer to provide anything, the other is a clear invitation and an offer to provide.

You can either explain this difference to the females you choose to pursue and/or agree to spend time with, choose to associate only with females already cognisent of this distinction, or blame yourself for the choices you make. I dont think it is fair or rational to slander all of female kind because you make poor choices and lack good sense when it comes to your romantic affairs.

i cant believe this.

i have never been married but i was in a three year relationship. i never threw him out of the bed. ever. i was usually the one to start and/or press argumentative issues, and i would sleep on the couch. not that i sleep much- it was more like sat on the couch, reading and smoking.
You and me both!
The one who wishes to not be in the same place as their partner/spouse, is responsible for carrying out their own wishes. If some people out there are suckers and allow themselves to be unfairly treated, that is their concern. Dont come crying and slandering me on the internet because you cant or wont stick up for yourself in your romantic affairs. I wouldnt put up with it, no one I have ever been in a relationship with would put up with it, and it sure as heck isnt the fault of all female kind if some people do happen to be daft enough to put up with it.

Marry a radical feminist, and you get what you deserve, that's all I can say.
Actually if you remove the word feminist and replace it with the word 'anything' the accuracy of the statement remains. Avoid radicals!

yeah, but think about it. it is low for a chick to hit her guy. the same guy who buys her shit, puts up with her shit, tells her she is pretty, makes her think she is the center of the universe, and defines her a desirable, taken woman. then he does something she doesnt like, and wham! she can resort to violence? thats ridiculous. could you do that to a kid? your mother? a teacher? fuck no. so why is it right when its someone you love ? its bullshit. i invoke the golden rule here.
btw, i think its cool that you wouldnt hit her back. i do not really my bf, he is 6'5, 250. would hit me either. but i expect it, therefore, i wouldn't lay a hand on him.
What a load of tossing off it is in any case to suggest that someone has a gender based right to hit someone else. If a person hits a person for any reason other than legitimate ones (ie protection of self, in some countries protection of property, and/or protection of another person, where no other means will suffice to protect), that is assault, and is unacceptable, irregardless of gender. If you put up with someone hitting you, how is that the fault of all females in existence? I suggest it is more your fault for choosing to put up it, than it is my fault.

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

Um...whoever is mad enough that they want to sleep elsewhere should do it. *I* bought our bed, but when I'm pissed off enough, I'll go sleep in the guest room/on the couch (which usually gets me an apology out of him =)

I don't kick men out of bed. I kick them INTO bed. And then I tie....um....n/m.

Seriously though...if I am the one who is pissed off, I will usually get up and go sleep on the couch or on the air matress or something.

I don't kick men out of bed. I kick them INTO bed. And then I tie....um....n/m.

Seriously though...if I am the one who is pissed off, I will usually get up and go sleep on the couch or on the air matress or something.

With all due respect to your good self M. Kimberly, it appears unlikely any of the idiots letting themselves get kicked out of bed would 'go for you'. Apparently they only like unreasonable gold digging bitches, while for all I can ascertain you may be either or both of the latter, or niether, clearly your comments indicate that you are not the first. Apparently low quality is an essential trait they require from perspective romantic partners....or at least that's the impression I get reading their whinging.

i have been kicked out of bed in the past but i refuse to go. Hell, its my bed after all and if she wants to sleep apart then she can go to the spare room.

I've never been kicked out of bed.

However, that's probably because I actually think *before* speaking.
Ah yes... "think twice before you speak once".

^_^ and I as a woman can get away with kicking my boyfriend out of the bed because usually he sleeps at my place, so it's in actuality, MY bed! ^_^ though I kick him out unintentionally by being a cover and bed space hog.

Well, I wouldn't go judging every woman by your experience with a few (or one). EVERY female does NOT demand you pay the bill or buy a ring etc. etc. Going Dutch is a lot more common anymore. Don't let television commercials determine your gender roles (that goes for women too!). (A diamond is a girl's best friend? Please. They look like glass to me)

A few questions:

--I hear the term "going Dutch" but don't know what the hell it implies. Is that a 50/50 split or each paying their own? Or another thing entirely?

--Diamonds are OK, but a lot of people are going with sapphires, from what I hear. I went with both - a diamond looks a lot better with another type of stone adding color. Plus I got a really good deal on it.

'cause women can threaten no sex for the rest of your natural life. That's something no man wants to face.

--I hear the term "going Dutch" but don't know what the hell it implies. Is that a 50/50 split or each paying their own? Or another thing entirely?

It can mean both of those. Usually each paying their own way though.

Ah Occ, the feminist who hates feminists:)

[screams piercingly] DONT YOU START WITH ME!!!

kidding :)
please dont call me a feminist. i dont give in to special interest groups. the only "ist" i am is a thanatologist. anyhow- i was just asserting my common sense, as usual. :)

Ah yes... "think twice before you speak once".


I did forget to mention that sometimes, when the weather turns odd and my familial sinus annoyances kick in, my snoring will cause me to wake up in the morning to a wife who had slept on the couch ... but there's no anger there ... just a simple solution to a simple problem.

Then again, often times I fall asleep on the couch surrounded by compositions with a pen in my mouth, waking up to find a cup of hot coffee on the table next to me, my pens re-capped, and my music placed in a neat stack out of the reach of greasy handed children ...

God i love my wife.

yeah, but think about it. it is low for a chick to hit her guy. the same guy who buys her shit, puts up with her shit, tells her she is pretty, makes her think she is the center of the universe, and defines her a desirable, taken woman. then he does something she doesnt like, and wham! she can resort to violence? thats ridiculous. could you do that to a kid? your mother? a teacher? fuck no. so why is it right when its someone you love ? its bullshit. i invoke the golden rule here.
btw, i think its cool that you wouldnt hit her back. i do not really my bf, he is 6'5, 250. would hit me either. but i expect it, therefore, i wouldn't lay a hand on him.

you expect it? just out of principle, or knowing him?
yeah, my girlfriend hits me, not seriously, she's never hit when she's angry. just to fuck around. but because i have little way of defending myself that doesn't hurt her, i frequently end up with bruises. she's a somewhat insane 5'3" 107 pound angry black woman. not really angry, she just shouts a lot. i don't know, i'm not describing her very well. i could try harder, but, meh.

Now, I'm going to take this statement with a grain of salt, because I know how much you like to make inflammatory statements, then sit back and watch the feathers fly. However:

So if the woman supports the man, or buys the bed, it's okay? Can one only be kicked out of a bed if they don't own it? This is patently ridiculous. Generally when two people get into the kind of fight that would necessitate them sleeping apart, it isn't a case of, "Get out of my bed and go sleep on the couch", but rather a mutual feeling that they don't want to sleep in the same bed. Sleeping together (sleep, not sex) is a sign of intimacy, and something you don't really want when egos are bruised.

Why is it the man who 'usually' sleeps elsewhere? Well, in the traditional situation you are speaking of (where the man 'supports' the wife...no longer as common as women generally work as well now) there were certain areas that 'belonged' to one gender or the other. The woman's areas included the kitchen and the bedroom, and the man 'ruled' the living room, the dining room (head of the table), the family room (if there was a separate one from the living room), and of course, the garage. Why would a man, angry with his wife, kick her out of the bedroom, and then deny himself access to the television? It's a question of comfort....how many traditional (now old) men do you know who spent a lot of time in the (usually femininely decorated) bedroom as opposed to the living room? I don't think in most cases that it is one spouse 'kicking out' another, but rather, when angry, the two remove themselves to their areas of comfort in order to be apart. Would YOU want to sleep beside an angry spouse? This is of course, all highly anecdotal, and not supported by a shred of evidence, but I'm just proposing a theory.

Now, for your remark that men should 'rise up' and 'overcome' and kick the woman out of the bed...

Times have changed. The men are not the sole breadwinners anymore. I don't know a single woman under forty that doesn't work for a wage (including those who have stayed home with their kids, who all run day homes so they can afford to). Many women of my generation were raised with the idea that we needed to get educated, get employed, and generally be able to support ourselves and any children we may have JUST IN CASE things didn't work out with our spouses (or if we didn't want one). Getting into a pissing match over who bought what, and who therefore has more rights to it is ridiculous. Fine, kick me out of the bed you bought...forget about sleeping on the couch I bought, or watching the t.v I purchased, or eating the food I prepared, or.... really. Not mature.

Times have changed. Men and women are trying to break out of their gender roles. That brings a new emphasis on communication...just look at the popularity of that shiny-headed idiot, 'Doctor' Phil. The point being, men and women are encouraged to talk things out instead of resorting to the 'silent' treatment. Does everyone do it? No...but you look at successful marriages, and you know what the common theme is? Communication. Sharing. Not, "this is mine, this is yours and when we get divorced I get this and you get that". If you need time apart because you're angry...take it. No one should be forced out of bed...if you're angry enough, man or woman, you won't WANT to sleep with your partner that night. Hopefully in the morning you'll have cooled down enough to talk over what happened, like mature adults.

Otherwise...it might be time for a stint at the divorce court.



i like everything you said, except one thing. as far as i can tell, from my experience and from what i've talked about with friends parents, NEVER go to bed angry. never allow yourself to mull over your anger, because if you haven't cooled off, than it's more than likely that you've gotten yourslef more worked up. we are irrational beings, it's best to deal with our issues head on, before he start thinking stupid things and shit gets f-ed up. i dunno. maybe your experience is different.

at any rate, my legions of meaningless emoticons await my command. Digitized emotion, GO!
:mad: :cool: :sniper: :mp5: :rolleyes: :fluffle: :D :fluffle:

you expect it? just out of principle, or knowing him?
yeah, my girlfriend hits me, not seriously, she's never hit when she's angry. just to fuck around. but because i have little way of defending myself that doesn't hurt her, i frequently end up with bruises. she's a somewhat insane 5'3" 107 pound angry black woman. not really angry, she just shouts a lot. i don't know, i'm not describing her very well. i could try harder, but, meh.
definitley out of principle. he would not, could not lay a hand on a woman.he has a kind gentle nature, and comes from a low domestic violence rated country. i think, you describe your gf a little better. do hersome justice ;)

definitley out of principle. he would not, could not lay a hand on a woman.he has a kind gentle nature, and comes from a low domestic violence rated country. i think, you describe your gf a little better. do hersome justice ;)

where's yer guy from?

fine. i'll stupid talk about the woman i love. the woman who's constantly on my mind and whom i usually don't shut the fuck up about. but you owe me.

if you want to get to know her personality quickly, the best way to do taht would be to go to the grocery store with her. when we go there together, i usually walk about five feet behind her, partially because she looks really good from the back, but mostly because it's really funny to watch her wander teh store aimlessly (if you've ever seen invader zim, she's very reminiscent of GIR). regardless of what's on the list, she doesn't usually get what she came there for, and she almost always ends up with peach ice cream. or cake mix. she was a gymnast for about 10 years, so she has the single nicest ass i've ever seen. she's a very perky looking, kind of short black woman with an athletic body and these little dimples at the corners of her mouth that make it look like she's always smiling. at the moment she's 300 miles away, stupid college. lest i forget, i saw your picture, she has the same hair as you, jsut shorter, and she hates brushing it, so unless she's feeling less lazy, or wearing a hat, it's perpetually liek that.

Leading to my next question, why do women kick mens asses? If some bitch women started kicking my ass I'd be like "Ayy! Why dont you get your bitch ass over to the kitchen and make me a pie!"

And if she still kicked my ass, I would grab her next limb that came at me. and squeeze very hard and say to her "do you want to leave now?"
NAh id grab her hand as it came swining at me and say
"Dont do that you might hurt yourself."
At this stage she would Lamb Chop me right in the nuts and shed win

MWhahahahahahahahahahaha

hey, don't go to bed angry, don't cheat on your girl, don't be an asshole, you'll be find (except i've noticed an uncanny attraction of the most interesting girls toward assholes.)

meaningless emoticon time!
:upyours: :gundge: :cool: :sniper: :mad: :eek:
Deacon theory?

I've never been kicked out of bed.

However, that's probably because I actually think *before* speaking.
You mean you know your place :p

Why do men get a kick out of the bed?

The couch is often-times more comfortable.

:D

Why do men get a kick out of the bed?

The couch is often-times more comfortable.

:D
I wouldn't care if I were kicked out of the bed, personally.
Last night I fell asleep on my basement floor.

Then again, I'm not a man, so I don't have to worry about losing the bed quite so much.

'cause women can threaten no sex for the rest of your natural life. That's something no man wants to face.
Threaten as they may, no women I know is capable of making good on such a threat. Contrary to any beliefs you may have, there is not a general list circulated amongst all females 'of an age' to consent to sex, which lists every male to be forever denied. I for one have never received such a list, and neither have any of my female friends. The worst any one women can do is not personally give you any, and perhaps persuade a friend/relative/associate or two, to also deny you. No one women has the power or authority to prevent all and any other person from engaging in sexual activities with you...

No one women has the power or authority to prevent all and any other person from engaging in sexual activities with you...
But are you sure?
Are you willing to risk it?
;)

But are you sure?
Are you willing to risk it?
;)
Yes, I am absolutely certain. As I pointed out, no one has sent me 'the list', from this I can deduce that if any list of people to be forever excluded from sexual intimacy, does exist, it is not disseminated to all females capable of engaging in sexual intimacy.

I've never hit a guy that didn't get physical with me first. I've had a couple of guys shove me and that's all it takes for me to start swinging. Preferably with something heavy. If he hits me first he has the choice of jail or the hospital. If I can't handle him (usually I can) I have three brothers.
If he doesn't lay his hands on me I fight fair. If he seeks to take advantage of the fact that he's physically stronger, he usually regrets it. It totally freaks me out when men start to use physical force against me. When I get scared, I get very aggressive.
And I actually never kicked my ex out of bed. We had a spare bedroom, and off I'd go. Or if he really pissed me off, I'd stay out all night with my friends. He was welcome to do the same.

You mean you know your place :p

*chuckle* Yes ... that too.

has anyone mentioned a bad case of baked beans, which is a good reason to boot anyone out of bed.

that said wind during the action can be a real passion killer, even if it is compressed air from you know where... :fluffle:

Actually, the few times my boyfriend and I have had arguments big enough to warrant one of us not sleeping in the bed, I've volunteered to take the sofa. I know it's not the norm; I like to disprove stereotypes :D

A few questions:

--I hear the term "going Dutch" but don't know what the hell it implies. Is that a 50/50 split or each paying their own? Or another thing entirely?

--Diamonds are OK, but a lot of people are going with sapphires, from what I hear. I went with both - a diamond looks a lot better with another type of stone adding color. Plus I got a really good deal on it.
Yes, it means 50/50...I don't know why we blame the Dutch for it.

I hate jewlery. I hate flowers. Now chocolate....

[screams piercingly] DONT YOU START WITH ME!!!

kidding :)
please dont call me a feminist. i dont give in to special interest groups. the only "ist" i am is a thanatologist. anyhow- i was just asserting my common sense, as usual. :)
I only call you a feminist because you aren't the type to be dominated, treated better or worse than any man, and are self-confident enough to assert that attitude. But then again, it isn't an insult in my books, even though it is in yours:).

What the heck is a thanatologist? (I'd look it up, but I think I'll enjoy your description more...)

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!

OOOOOOO.....potential for a whole feminist arguement there dude! Maybe it's because the men are too scared (wise?) to argue back!

OOOOOOO.....potential for a whole feminist arguement there dude! Maybe it's because the men are too scared (wise?) to argue back!

I'd say it was too stupid rather than scared or wise.

A few questions:

--I hear the term "going Dutch" but don't know what the hell it implies. Is that a 50/50 split or each paying their own? Or another thing entirely?

--Diamonds are OK, but a lot of people are going with sapphires, from what I hear. I went with both - a diamond looks a lot better with another type of stone adding color. Plus I got a really good deal on it.
my lover and i trade dates as a way of reminding each other that we still care...sometimes i pay, sometimes he pays, and it evens out in the end. as for a ring, i would never allow my lover to buy me an engagement ring unless he was prepared to wear one that i bought for him; if he wants me to wear a symbol of our commitment and our plan to marry, then i would expect him to be just as willing and eager to wear such a symbol too. if he's okay with us not buying rings for each other then that would be fine by me as well, since i don't wear jewelry much anyhow.

I only call you a feminist because you aren't the type to be dominated, treated better or worse than any man, and are self-confident enough to assert that attitude. But then again, it isn't an insult in my books, even though it is in yours:).

What the heck is a thanatologist? (I'd look it up, but I think I'll enjoy your description more...)
nope. not an insult, just inaccurate ;) thanatologist= a person who studies death and its aspects, effect on society, and the psycology, etc. i dont have a degree in it, specifically. i am a trade embalmer. my degree is in mortuary sciences.

What I have been wondering for my whole life is, why do men get kicked out of the bed and onto the couch during a fight. Especially when its usually the man thats supporting the woman, or who bought the bed. Just once I want the man to say "No, YOU go to the couch! Get out of MY bed!" Why dont we do that ever? Its time for men to rise up and overcome!
I would assume it's because the man is usually wrong.

I would assume it's because the man is usually wrong.
i just wanted to quote you because i love your name.
steel pole bathtub!

i just wanted to quote you because i love your name.
steel pole bathtub!
Why thank you. Does your name mean anything?

Why thank you. Does your name mean anything?
i emailed you.

Get up stand up! Stand up for your rights!

I find that, in most arguements, both sides are wrong.


Now for a re-enactment of my nationstate this morning:

:eek: :eek: :mp5:
:eek: :eek: :sniper:
:eek: :eek: :mp5:

why is it that the female sex demand equal wages yet still insist that we pay the bill for dinner pay for the ring and just about anything else while we are dating?
im not agianst equal wages im just saying split the freakin bill

this is from the mind of a now VERY broke 17 year old

Um, just so you know, I don't do that. We don't split bills down the middle per se, but we alternate who pays for dinner and movie nights, etc. For the apartment: I did rent and electric, he did the phone bill and gassing the car. We took turns doing dinner. We both worked. If you're just dating and both equally equipped to pay for stuff, expenses should be split-- whether 25/75, 50/50, or whatever, unless you previously establish you want to do traditional 'courting' with traditional roles, etc. Chivalry is one thing, but bleeding a guy dry because 'traditional values' back you up is low. In fact, I expect to pay for my ring myself, just because his funds are going into savings for more important things for the future. It's just more fair, which is what I-- as a non-militant, non-scourge-all-men feminist-- take to be the agenda of feminism.

Get up stand up! Stand up for your rights!
"get up!
stand up!
c'mon put yo hands up!"

:eek:
Why the fuck am I quoting rap music?
:(

shoot them :sniper: headbutt them :headbang: spray them with green stuff :gundge: be angry :mad: shoot them some more :mp5: And if they're still at it , make love :fluffle:

A few questions:

--Diamonds are OK, but a lot of people are going with sapphires, from what I hear. I went with both - a diamond looks a lot better with another type of stone adding color. Plus I got a really good deal on it.

I agree. And I'm more concerned with the setting than the diamond... besides, I like tiny diamonds, so I have relatively cheap taste. And I really would prefer some other stones of more character with the diamond-- like sapphire as you mentioned, or emerald (though that'd cost as much as the diamond itself!), or even onyx. Pretty shiny things... mmm... :D

To me, women who just want the biggest, clearest, deadliest damn rock on their finger are nuts. It tends to be tacky... and you can hurt yourself. A lot.

;) meaningless emoticons! :) :mad: :headbang: :cool: :sniper: :rolleyes: :p :fluffle

I make more money than the man I live with. Hence, I pay for our dates, although he pays for himself when he has the cash. We share the cost of rent. He's the one who watches TV, so he pays for cable. I can afford to pay for groceries, so wowsers, I pay for the groceries.

No ring. No wedding dress. As far as we're concerned, we don't need them.

If you guys think you're being taken for a ride, date or marry someone else. If you want to be with her despite her lack of funds, quit whining. And for everyone's sake, please stop assuming that all women are grasping gold diggers.

For those of you out there (like Ice Hockey Players and Bottle, for some good examples) who have mature relationships - kudos to you. Keep setting a good example for the rest and maybe they'll grow up.

We can always hope people will grow up, but I'm not holding my breath until they do.

As for why the woman gets to keep the bed, if she's that upset and you don't leave it will just take that much more time to work through the issue because a lack of respect was added on top of the original problem.

Personal, I like the "never let the sun go down on your wrath" motto, but my beloved sometimes prefers to sleep on it. Any relationship that works is a matter of both accomodating each other with the commitment to work things out over time and recognizing that neither party is perfect.

We can always hope people will grow up, but I'm not holding my breath until they do.

As for why the woman gets to keep the bed, if she's that upset and you don't leave it will just take that much more time to work through the issue because a lack of respect was added on top of the original problem.

Personal, I like the "never let the sun go down on your wrath" motto, but my beloved sometimes prefers to sleep on it. Any relationship that works is a matter of both accomodating each other with the commitment to work things out over time and recognizing that neither party is perfect.

So you're saying women get the bed because they need to be respected but men dont so they dont get the bed?

So you're saying women get the bed because they need to be respected but men dont so they dont get the bed?
Yes, men don't need to be respected. They need to be shot.

Just kidding! I had no idea that men were so sensitive! I must have fallen into an alternate reality or something!

Yes, men don't need to be respected. They need to be shot.

Just kidding! I had no idea that men were so sensitive! I must have fallen into an alternate reality or something!

Not exactly sensitive, its just the constant assumption that you're meant to treat women with more respect than men gets to you after a few years.