NationStates Jolt Archive


I don't feel like it ...

WiNA
02-02-2005, 21:07
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said 'WHAT????!!! What was that?!'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier'.

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled 'WHAT???!!!'

I then said, 'Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.
World wide allies
02-02-2005, 21:09
Ha ! If this actually happened, that is absolutly awesome.

I commend you.
WiNA
02-02-2005, 21:11
I don't know if it actually happened or not, but it didn't happen to me ;)
Sdaeriji
02-02-2005, 21:11
Wow, that's dick. Makes me wish I'd thought of it.
Drunk commies
02-02-2005, 21:12
That's fucking terrific. You're a role model to all men.
Ashmoria
02-02-2005, 21:13
so where are you living now?
FairyTInkArisen
02-02-2005, 21:13
ROFLMAO!!!!! seriously, i havn't laughed like that in a long time, thank you
WiNA
02-02-2005, 21:17
so where are you living now?

back at my mom's place :(
Neo-Anarchists
02-02-2005, 21:35
I had to read that thrice before I realized that it was really funny.
That's either awesome or not, I think.
But it sure is funny.
Occidio Multus
02-02-2005, 21:53
thats in readers digest. but still, wicked awesome. but a lot of girls are like that, which is why i am , at times, embarrassed to be a female....
WiNA
02-02-2005, 22:02
thats in readers digest. but still, wicked awesome. but a lot of girls are like that, which is why i am , at times, embarrassed to be a female....

heh I just got it from another forum (which is in dutch, so I knew the guy there didn't write it ;) )
Atica
02-02-2005, 22:02
Girls rule! Boys drool! I remember saying that a lot back when I was in first grade.
WiNA
02-02-2005, 22:07
Girls rule! Boys drool! I remember saying that a lot back when I was in first grade.
*drools*
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 22:19
heh I just got it from another forum (which is in dutch, so I knew the guy there didn't write it ;) )
Are you calling us liars?
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 22:21
I love that! Its been around a long time actually - but it somehow gets better every time I read it!

I want so bad to be able to use it one day in a real relationship! :p
Glitziness
02-02-2005, 22:25
Hehe, that's hilarious :D
WiNA
02-02-2005, 22:45
Are you calling us liars?

yes


yes I am
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 22:52
yes


yes I am
Okay :fluffle:
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:00
Okay :fluffle:
Oooooo - give him :fluffle:'s sure sure... where are mine? :(
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:02
Oooooo - give him :fluffle:'s sure sure... where are mine? :(
What do I get in return? Got any pictures of Myrth?
12345543211
02-02-2005, 23:04
Yes! Stick it to the (wo)man! That is just perfect! You did the right thing! Dont let your sexual needs tell you different.
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:08
What do I get in return? Got any pictures of Myrth?
Unfortunately not, and I won't even bother asking Aerou - she is dedicated to the cause of never letting them go. I can show you a picture of my goggles?
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:10
Unfortunately not, and I won't even bother asking Aerou - she is dedicated to the cause of never letting them go. I can show you a picture of my goggles?
That'll do for now, but you've gotta give me something better next time.

:fluffle:
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:14
That'll do for now, but you've gotta give me something better next time.

:fluffle:
Yay!!! :fluffle:

and the pic.. My new goggles (http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5df04b3127cce9f77b1e884f700000016109AcOGjVm4b4)
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:16
Yay!!! :fluffle:

and the pic.. My new goggles (http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5df04b3127cce9f77b1e884f700000016109AcOGjVm4b4)
HAHAHA

cool
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:18
HAHAHA

cool
Hahaha! Almost as cool as :fluffle:ing a dude! Woo hoo hoo!!!

My impression of the smurf blue shocked smilie (http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5df33b3127cce9e667928663400000016109AcOGjVm4b4)
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:21
this (http://www.baggerunited.nl/band/foto/albums/6/HPIM1714.JPG) = :rolleyes:
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:22
this (http://www.baggerunited.nl/band/foto/albums/6/HPIM1714.JPG) = :cool:
You made a slight mistake - I had to correct you!! haha! :D
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:23
You made a slight mistake - I had to correct you!! haha! :D
clumsy me :p
Neo-Anarchists
02-02-2005, 23:35
this (http://www.baggerunited.nl/band/foto/albums/6/HPIM1714.JPG) = :rolleyes:
Is that you in the picture?
Whoever it is, they look a bit like the guitarist from Children of Bodom.
http://www.espguitars.com/images/artists/ALEXI_LAIHO.jpg
Does anybody else think so?
Stroudiztan
02-02-2005, 23:37
I salute you!
Legless Pirates
02-02-2005, 23:38
Is that you in the picture?
Whoever it is, they look a bit like the guitarist from Children of Bodom.
http://www.espguitars.com/images/artists/ALEXI_LAIHO.jpg
Does anybody else think so?
Jup.

I think it's just the long blond hair though
Janers place
02-02-2005, 23:40
that is absolutely awesome
Neo-Anarchists
02-02-2005, 23:40
Jup.

I think it's just the long blond hair though
Probably.
Oh well.

On a different, off-topic, and almost entirely unrelated note, I've just realized that if I didn't know Laiho was male, from half of the pictures I see of him I wouldn't be able to tell.
:p
How funny.
Lascivious Maximus
02-02-2005, 23:43
Is that you in the picture?
Whoever it is, they look a bit like the guitarist from Children of Bodom.
http://www.espguitars.com/images/artists/ALEXI_LAIHO.jpg
Does anybody else think so?
LP! Youre famous!! :eek:
Aerou
03-02-2005, 01:58
Unfortunately not, and I won't even bother asking Aerou - she is dedicated to the cause of never letting them go. I can show you a picture of my goggles?

I didn't realize pictures of Myrth were so important! Heh....
WiNA
03-02-2005, 03:55
On a different, off-topic, and almost entirely unrelated note, I've just realized that if I didn't know Laiho was male, from half of the pictures I see of him I wouldn't be able to tell.
:p
How funny.

http://www.graspop.be/forum/images/smiles/twak.gif
Roach-Busters
03-02-2005, 04:08
Brilliant! :D
Vittos Ordination
03-02-2005, 04:32
That reminds me of all of those jewelry commercials. In every single one, the woman is stand-offish, until he breaks out that ring or bracelet, and then she is all over the guy saying I love you.
Lascivious Maximus
03-02-2005, 04:39
I didn't realize pictures of Myrth were so important! Heh....
Post just one, and see how much attention is garners... the importance, though not monumental - is subtantial enough to sustain this craving. ;)