NationStates Jolt Archive

I heard this one just moments ago, and I want to post it, so I'm turning this into a thread, if it should be so inclined to "take off" (to the Great White North).
Vir, ‘tis a terrible truth, but as one accumulates power one loses friends. One only has those who wish to use you, and those you wish to use. Yet through this, you have somehow managed to walk through the corridors of power and not been touched! I can only assume you have not been paying attention.
~Londo Molari

"Blow a hole in the wall? Don't tell me you can make a bomb out of a stick of gum."
"Why, do you have some??"
-MacGyver. Beloved MacGyver

"Crayons taste like purple" - the retarded puppet from the Greg the Bunny show

"The Horror...the horror..."-Kurtz, Heart of Darkness or Apocalypse Now

A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo? Homer Simpson

"The Horror...the horror..."-Kurtz, Heart of Darkness or Apocalypse Now

Question: why, given that Kurtz was a francophile Belgian in Heart Of Darkness, were his last words in English?

"Is this feeling Love?"
"Is it a happy giddy feeling just because you are close to me? Thats influenza. Watch for nausea and diareha in a few hours." Miro from Children of the Mind.

"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
-HHGTTG

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened."
-Ibid

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

This planet has—or rather had—a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.

Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.

This is not her story.
-Ibid

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the "Star Sprangled Banner", but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
-Ibid

He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn't stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.
During the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush.
-Ibid

The person on the other side was a young woman. Very obviously a young woman. There was no possible way that she could have been mistaken for a young man in any language, especially Braille.

-- The goddess with the nice earrings (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

"What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

It was hard enough to kill a vampire. You could stake them down and turn them into dust and ten years later someone drops a drop of blood in the wrong place and guess who's back? They returned more times than raw broccoli.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay)

This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts..."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of things. They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

He was aware that a wise man should always respect the folkways of others, to use Carrot's happy phrase, but Vimes often had difficulty with this idea. For one thing, there were people in the world whose folkways consisted of gutting other people like clams and this was not a procedure that commanded, in Vimes, any kind of respect at all.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant)- I find this extremely wise.

For people who have only seen the (dreadful) movie, this may well be lost - if you have not read this book I strongly recommend it.

A long one I know, and it took me a while to type this out - but its the best passage from one of the greatest stories ever written. The last page of Dickens' 'Great Expectations':

(To try and make it at least a little more easily read - I've posted Pip's dialouge in Navy, and Estella's in Magenta.)

“I have often thought of you,” said Estella.
“Have you?”
“Of late, very often. There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of it’s worth. But, since my duty has not been incompatible with the admission of that remembrance, I have given it a place in my heart.”
“You have always held your place in my heart,” I answered.
And we were silent again until she spoke.
“I little thought,” said Estella, “that I should take leave of you in taking leave of this spot. I am very glad to do so.”
“Glad to part again, Estella? To me parting is such a painful thing. To me the remembrance of our last parting has been ever mournful and painful.”
“But you said to me,”
returned Estella, very earnestly,
“‘God bless you, God forgive you!’ And if you could say that to me then, you will not hesitate to say it to me now – now, when suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape. Be as considerate and good to me as you were, and tell me we are friends.”
“We are friends,” said I, rising and bending over her, as she rose from the bench.
“And will continue friends apart,” said Estella.
I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as the morning mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her.

"I feel infinite." spoken by Charlie in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude.

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Such an amazing writer! I love Marquez! :)

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Eh, awesome opening, but not really good as a quote.

And when he proceeded, by way of introduction, to say a few flattering things to the audience, thanking them for their attendance in such numbers, the Steppenwolf threw me a quick look, a look which criticized both the words and the speaker of them -- and unforgettable and frightful look which spoke volumes! It was a look that did not simply criticize the lecturer, annihilating the famous man with its delicate but crushing irony. That was the least of it. It was more sad than ironical; it was indeed utterly and hopelessly sad; it conveyed a quiet despair, born partly of conviction, partly of a mode of thought which had become habitual with him. The despair of his not only unmasked the conceited lecturer and dismissed with its irony the matter at hand, the expectant attitude of the public, the somewhat presumptuous title under which the lecturer was announced -- no, the Steppenwolf's look pierced our whole epoch, its whole overwrouchgt activity, the whole surge and strife, the whole vanity, the whole superficial play of a shallow, opinionated intellectuality. And alas! the look went still deeper, went far below the faults, defects and hopelessness of our time, our intellect, our culture alone. It went right to the heart of all humanity, it bespoke eloquently in a single second the whole despair of a thinker, of one who knew the full worth and meaning of man's life. It said: "See what monkeys we are! Look, such is man!" and at once all renown, all intelligence, all the attainments of the spirit, all progress towards the sublime, the great and the enduring in man fell away and became a monkey's trick.

-
Hermann Hesse

Such an amazing writer! I love Marquez! :)


He is one of the three great masters in my literary canon.

Along with Hesse and Solzhenitsyn.

Vonnegut also I love immensely. He deserves the nobel prize.

@ New Granada - was that from Siddhartha? Its sooo good - but sadly it's been so long since Ive read it - it's more difficult to find in hardcover than one might think. :(

@ New Granada - was that from Siddhartha? Its sooo good - but sadly it's been so long since Ive read it - its harder to find in hardcover than one might think. :(


Steppenwolf actually.

I'd have put something from siddhartha but i dont have a copy as near on hand as I do of good ole' steppenwolf.

I have the good fortune of owning a first edition of steppenwolf, one of my favorite books.

If you know anyone with a first of siddhartha and a list of people they want shot, do let me know ;)

Vonnegut also I love immensely. He deserves the nobel prize.
Ahhh, Kurt - I agree with you there - it cannot be denied! :)

Ahhh, Kurt - I agree with you there - it cannot be denied! :)


And he is so old! Each year i think "nobel bastards had better give it to kurt vonnegut before he dies!"


Lets 2005 be his year!!!!

Steppenwolf actually.

I'd have put something from siddhartha but i dont have a copy as near on hand as I do of good ole' steppenwolf.

I have the good fortune of owning a first edition of steppenwolf, one of my favorite books.

If you know anyone with a first of siddhartha and a list of people they want shot, do let me know ;)

Heh, yes - I see that now, upon a not too close, closer inspection. Incidentally, I'll pull the trigger - and we can share it each for half of our remaining years! :p

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN? The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of potato. SQUEAK, he said. Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

In the second scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly: "Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?" Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!" And Clodpool went away, satisfied.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of the list 'the man who arrived just before you'.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero)

Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents)

"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."

-- Detritus learns about weapons safety (Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)

"Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)

"Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! We willna be fooled again!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men)

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

English Burger Lords managed to take any American fast food virtues (the speed with which your food was delivered, for example) and carefully remove them; your food arrived after half an hour, at room temperature, and it was only because of the strip of warm lettuce between them that you could distinguish the burger from the bun. The Burger Lord pathfinder salesmen had been shot 25 minutes after setting foot in France.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them.

-- The eight Bikers of the Apocalypse (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

If you take the small view, the universe is just something small and round, like those water-filled balls which produce a miniature snowstorm when you shake them. Although, unless the ineffable plan is a lot more ineffable than it's given credit for, it does not have a large plastic snowman at the bottom.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

-- (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

- "Surely you have considered terrorist activity?"
There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and who is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, "Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours."

-- The BBC interviews a nuclear spokesperson (Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens)

Wobbler had written an actual computer game like this once. It was called "Journey to Alpha Centauri". It was a screen with some dots on it. Because, he said, it happened in real time, which no-one had ever heard of until computers. He'd seen on TV that it took three thousand years to get to Alpha Centauri. He had written it so that if anyone kept their computer on for three thousand years, they'd be rewarded by a little dot appearing in the middle of the screen, and then a message saying, "Welcome to Alpha Centauri. Now go home."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind)

"We got a talk about it at school. There's lots of stuff most girls can't do, but you've got to pretend they can, so that more of them will."

-- Sexism explained (Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind)

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead)

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to me"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Unadulterated Cat)

Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.

-- Why humans like cats (Terry Pratchett, The Unadulterated Cat)

As far as I'm aware I'm not specifically banned anywhere in the USA, and am rather depressed about it. Surely some of you guys can do something?

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett)

"But ye gotta know where ye're just gonna rush in. Ye cannae just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'."

-- Feegle tactics (Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men)

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago "Would you be happy in a world where medical care is widely available, houses are clean, the world's music and sights and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, travelling even 100 miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you don't have to die of dental abcesses and you don't have to do what the squire tells you" they'd think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and say 'yes'.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."

-- Rincewind discussing Twoflower (Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

The druid stiffened. "*Nice?*" he said. "A triumph of the silicon chunk, a miracle of modern masonic technology -- nice?" "Oh, yes," said Twoflower, to whom sarcasm was merely a seven letter word beginning with S.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

The point that must be made is that although Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan would look quite stunning after a good bath, a heavy-duty manicure, and the pick of the leather racks in Woo Hung Ling's Oriental Exotica and Martial Aids on Heroes Street, she was currently quite sensibly dressed in light chain mail, soft boots, and a short sword. All right, maybe the boots were leather. But not black.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

"You're dead," he said. Keli waited. She couldn't think of any suitable reply. "I'm not" lacked a certain style, while "Is it serious?" seemed somehow too frivolous.

-- Princess Keli in trouble (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

- I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I
WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK
WOULD HOLD.
- "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"

-- Death consults a job broker (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."

-- The Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse encounter unexpected difficulties (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

"I meant," said Iplsore bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "CATS," he said eventually, "CATS ARE NICE."

-- Death is obviously not a dog person (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

In fact, no gods anywhere play chess. They prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight to Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!" and axing their legs off at the knee.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."

-- Carrot travels to Ankh-Morpork (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

No enemies had ever taken Ankh-Morpock. Well technically they had, quite often; the city welcomed free-spending barbarian invaders, but somehow the puzzled raiders found, after a few days, that they didn't own their horses any more, and within a couple of months they were just another minority group with its own graffiti and food shops.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

Azhural raised his staff. "It's fifteen hundred miles to Ankh-Morpork," he said. "We've got three hundred and sixty-three elephants, fifty carts of forage, the monsoon's about to break and we're wearing... we're wearing... sort of things, like glass, only dark... dark glass things on our eyes..."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"Once more the odious courtesies began, the first handed the knife across K. to the second, who handed it across K. back again to the first. K. now perceived clearly that he was supposed to seize the knife himself, as it traveled from hand to hand above him, and plunge it into his own breast. But he did not do so, he merely turned his head, which was still free to move, and gazed around him. He could not completely rise to the occasion, he could not relieve the officials of all their tasks; the responsibility for this last failure of his lay with him who had not left him the remnant of strength necessary for the deed..."
- The Trial

Vaguely creepy.

Who is this Ibid person?!?!
I think it is Doug Adams.

Who is this Ibid person?!?!
I think it is Doug Adams.
Ibid means it's cited from the same source. In this case HHGTTG.

Ibid means it's cited from the same source. In this case HHGTTG.
So I was right. :D

So I was right. :D
May 6 2005

"It would be a terrible thing, would it not, if people thought they could take the law into their own hands..."
"Oh, no fear of that, sir. I'm holding on tightly to it."
--- Havelock Vetinari & Samuel Vimes, "Feet of Clay", Terry Pratchett


"I couldn't let our gallant policeman know I'd worked it out for myself, could I? Not when he was making such an effort and having so much fun being... well, being Vimes. I'm not completely heartless, you know."
"But my lord, you could have sorted it out diplomatically! Instead he went around upsetting things and making a lot of people very anry and afraid-"
"Yes. Dear me. Tsk, tsk."
"Ah," said Drumknott.
"Quite so," said the Patrician.
(...)
"May I make an observation, my lord?"
"Of course you may," said Vetinari, watching Vimes walk through the palace gates.
"The thought occurs, sir, that if Commander Vimes did not exist you would have had to invent him."
"You know, Drumknott, I rather think I did."
--- Havelock Vetinari & Rufus Drumknott, "Feet of Clay", Terry Pratchett

"Atheism Is Also A Religious Position," Dorfl rumbled.
"No it's not!" said Constable Visit. "Atheism is a denial of a god."
"Therefore It Is A Religious Position," said Dorfl. "Indeed, A True Atheist Think Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms Of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny."
--- Dorlf & Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets, "Feet of Clay", Terry Pratchett

Is he your bitch?
WHAT?!?
*BLAM*

"ENGLISH-MOTHERFUCKER-DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT!"
I love Pulp Fiction :p

Lilo: Oh good my dog found the chainsaw

. . . these are the times of dreamy quietude, when beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean's skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember, that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.

Herman Melville
Moby Dick

DOCTOR: Well Rudolph, we've discovered why your nose glows red
RUDOLPH: Is it magical pixie dust?
DOCTOR: No, it's a tumor
RUDOLPH: A special love tumor?
DOCTOR: No, a malignant one
RUDOLPH: Well, is it lo...
DOCTOR: You're going to die.

From The Sun Also Rises:

"Yes," I said. Isn't it pretty to think so?"

Best opening line to a book:

'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.'

Best opening line to a book:

'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.'
Oooo!! ;)

...From fiction... These shouldn't end



Ross: Do you remember when I had a monkey?
Chandler: Yeah!!
Ross: What was I thinking?

-Friends-