NationStates Jolt Archive

I have noticed recently that the United States has lost alot of its sway in the world. Sure, we are still the only remaining superpower, but we enjoy NOWHERE near the support and respect we used too. During WWII, we were hailed as the conquerers of facism. During the Cold War, we were hailed as the defenders of Democracy and Capitalism. During the 90's, we were hailed as the people who had brought the world economy WAAAAAAY up. Now we are refered to as "those strange hill-billies who invade random countries just because we can."

I have come up with a way to restore the U.S.' glory and put us back on top.

I have outlined it here:

Step 1. Become President(if through democratic means go to step 2, if not go to 3.)

Step 2. Pull an Adolf Hitler on Congress, (otherwise known as have congress make you supreme dictator for life).

Step 3. Totally fix the economic system. Take some power away from the Corporations and give more to the workers and state.

Step 4. Enlarge the military.

Step 5. Make good ties with the world, pull out of Iraq, actually follow U.N. advice.

Step 6. Wait until economy is it record high.

Step 7. Secretly fund and create a violent revolution in Quebec and the North-west Territories.

Step 8. Send forces to "assist" the Canadians put down the revolution.

Step 9. Turn on Canadians and take Ottowa.

Step 10. Take over all of Canada.

Step 11. Make Quebec and Newfoundland into the puppet-nation of French Canada, make the Northwest Territories into the puppet-state of Inuit-land(working title).

Step 12. Repair Canadian Economy and boost civil rights levels, while giving Canadians a basic level of democracy(a la Hong Kong).

Step 13. Wait until economy at another record high.

Step 14. Cross the Rio Grande and invade northern Mexico.

Step 15. Take Baja California.

Step 16. March on Mexico City.

Step 17. Make the southern-interior and south-western Pacific coast into the puppet-state of "Aztec Mexico", instate a puppet-Emperor.

Step 18. Re-name the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.

Step 19. Re-name The United States to be the "North American Empire".

Step 20. Make the three offical languages English, French, and Spanish.

Step 21. Institute reforms to increase the economy.

Step 22. Demolish the race barrier and make everyone a citizen.

Step 23. Build a Capital City in the Canadian Rockies. Name it "America City".

Step 24. Build a giant transportation system across all of the Empire.

Step 25. Sign decree that states after I die America becomes the "North American Republic", and holds free elections.

Step 26. Increase diplomatic ties with the world.

Step 27. Die rich, famous, powerful, and at peace with myself in knowing that I have created the greatest empire ever.

Final Borders of U.S. at time of Death:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v626/Thelightningstar/MyConquests.png
(The dark-blue areas are land directly under Imperial Control, the normal blue are puppet-states.)

And some people say im not creative!

bumpz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0rz0r0zr0rz0rz0rz0rz.

Tito reincarnated as Lightning Star!
All hail the popularist dictator, until thy death shall be peace and after all hell shall break loose (see balkan states as example)

Will you make a habit of kidnapping people as well?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1390256,00.html

Will you make a habit of kidnapping people as well?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1390256,00.html

Hmmm...

Well, as long as they are from a Country I am invading :D

Yeah that'll really make the US great again..

Tito reincarnated as Lightning Star!
All hail the popularist dictator, until thy death shall be peace and after all hell shall break loose (see balkan states as example)

Heh heh heh.

Oh well.

At least I won't be around to see it :)

Pfft, I've planned THAT already.

Except I plan on faking a 9/11 tragedy on somewhere in Michigan. Fake the evidence, make it look like it was the Canadians. Start an uproar. Rally the nation to the point where they'll follow me to hell and back.

Then I must attempt a "Regime change" on Canada, putting American puppets within their government. Make SURE to control Canadian media indirectly by means of bribes and kidnappings.

etc. etc. Like I'm gonna tell YOU my plans!

What I would do:

Step 1. Become President(democratic means)

Step 2. Pull an Adolf Hitler on Congress, (otherwise known as have congress make you supreme dictator for life).

Step 3. Totally fix the economic system. End corporate welfare, cut taxes, cut porkbarrel spending.

Step 4. Fix our education system.

Step 5. Make good ties with the world, once we've finished with Iraq and Afghanistan, adopt non-interventionist policies

Step 6. Wait until economy is it record high.

What I would do:

Step 1. Become President(democratic means)

Step 2. Pull an Adolf Hitler on Congress, (otherwise known as have congress make you supreme dictator for life).

Step 3. Totally fix the economic system. End corporate welfare, cut taxes, cut porkbarrel spending.

Step 4. Fix our education system.

Step 5. Make good ties with the world, once we've finished with Iraq and Afghanistan, adopt non-interventionist policies

Step 6. Wait until economy is it record high.
We'll call you President Killjoy.

Pfft, I've planned THAT already.

Except I plan on faking a 9/11 tragedy on somewhere in Michigan. Fake the evidence, make it look like it was the Canadians. Start an uproar. Rally the nation to the point where they'll follow me to hell and back.

Then I must attempt a "Regime change" on Canada, putting American puppets within their government. Make SURE to control Canadian media indirectly by means of bribes and kidnappings.

etc. etc. Like I'm gonna tell YOU my plans!

Lol!

Okay, I really don't know what to say. :rolleyes:

1: Sign a "Contingency Governance Pact" with NATO (in event of loss of government, temporary control of America passes to leaders of the NATO council).

2: Create a "puppet cell" of suicidal terrorists within US borders.

3: Detonate 6 mega ton thermonuclear weapon in washington during state of the Union Address. Government doesn't get much smaller than fallout! heh heh heh...

4: Control the people through subliminal messages in all tv channels and militarisation of society.

5: Establish a Union of English Speaking Peoples with UK and actively work to re-establish the old Empire under 'Joint Control'.

6: Before my death, reveal myself as lackey of the British throne. Laugh at y'all as you become little more than a bread basket and recruiting ground for new British Empire.

Okay, I really don't know what to say. :rolleyes:

Yes, my creativity has that effect on people.

Just like when I drew alot of dead people in Art Class...heh heh...

1: Sign a "Contingency Governance Pact" with NATO (in event of loss of government, temporary control of America passes to leaders of the NATO council).

2: Create a "puppet cell" of suicidal terrorists within US borders.

3: Detonate 6 mega ton thermonuclear weapon in washington during state of the Union Address. Government doesn't get much smaller than fallout! heh heh heh...

4: Control the people through subliminal messages in all tv channels and militarisation of society.

5: Establish a Union of English Speaking Peoples with UK and actively work to re-establish the old Empire under 'Joint Control'.

6: Before my death, reveal myself as lackey of the British throne. Laugh at y'all as you become little more than a bread basket and recruiting ground for new British Empire.


You couldn't become president, num-nut!

Of course, I think we'd be able to tell if you were some British Lackey...

You guys talk funny.

Lol

bump.

So, in summary, this would be your policy?

*child kicking toys outta the pram*

WAAAAAAAAAAA PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

?

So, in summary, this would be your policy?

*child kicking toys outta the pram*

WAAAAAAAAAAA PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

?

Actually it would be more like this.

*child kicks toys outta the pram*

WAAAAAAAAA, PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

*child sent to time-out area*

"Hmmmm, maybe i've been taking this the wrong way..."

*child comes out of time-our area and plays nice with other children.*

Other Child: "You should really stop picking on Jim."

U.S. Child: "Ok."

*child starts a shift of power in a group of kids*

Rebellious Child 1: "Larry, we don't want to be a part of your group no more!"

Rebellious Child 2: "Yeah!"

Larry: "Yeah? Well, that boy is gonna help me make you stay!"

*U.S. Child walks over*

"I'll help you larry..."

*throws a few sissy-punches at the rebel children*

"Thanks!"

*U.S. Child bops Larry in the nose, knocking him out*

"Yay!"

*U.S. Child helps make his group, and the rebel kids from Larries Group, more powerful*

U.S. Group Child 1: "Look! Pablo and his gang are poor and dirty!"

U.S. Group Child 2: "Yeah, let's go help them!"

U.S. Child :"O.K"

*U.S. Child asks Pablo's group to join his*

Pablo: "No, amigo. This is my group!"

*3 of Pablos 7 friends join U.S. Group*

"Alright then..."

*U.S. bops Pablo in the nose*

"Alright, Jose, you are in charge of the other kids who helped me."

Jose: "Si, boss!"

"The rest of you are in my group!"

Other Children: "O.K."

*U.S. Child brings lots of toys and candies to children.*

*U.S. Child moves the play area from the door to near the kitchen*

"Alright, my group. When I leave, I want you guys to choose amongst youself who will be boss."

"O.K."

*U.S. Child graduates*

You couldn't become president, num-nut!

Of course, I think we'd be able to tell if you were some British Lackey...

You guys talk funny.
Or maybe you guys talk funny.

Step 1. Become President(if through democratic means go to step 2, if not go to 3.)

Step 2. Pull an Adolf Hitler on Congress, (otherwise known as have congress make you supreme dictator for life).

Step 3. Totally fix the economic system. Take some power away from the Corporations and give more to the workers and state.
Give me your Political Compass (http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/) results NOW!

Give me your Political Compass (http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/) results NOW!

Economic Left/Right: -4.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 3.59

bump!

Or maybe you guys talk funny.

Maybe...

We BOTH talk funny!

O_o

I've got one: move the capital to Carthage, Missouri and rename your state Carthage. You could even create a puppet state at Rome, New York, and have Triumphal marches where the Carthaginians humiliate the Romans, reversing actual history.

Well, I'd do the opposite.

Pull back all troops from foreign countries - let them handle their stuff, while we handle our stuff.

Cut down on defense expenses by 90%.

Ban privately owned hand guns - the soldiers just coming back are integrated into the police force to enforce that ban.

After two - five years, the arms sector is shrinking, the deficit is shrinking, crime is reduced, police expenses are shrinking, health expenses (bullet wounds) are shrinking.



The scientists of the defense sector will start working on independence from oil (no salary tax in that sector).


Aircraft carriers are refurbished to house construction firms, including everything needed to make concrete.

They are sent out to small island states to help them improve their infrastructure, become independent from oil and get some protection against rising sea levels and natural disasters.

At the end there is still some money left, to teach people how to have fun eating and still stay healthy.

Well, I'd do the opposite.

Pull back all troops from foreign countries - let them handle their stuff, while we handle our stuff.

Cut down on defense expenses by 90%.

Ban privately owned hand guns - the soldiers just coming back are integrated into the police force to enforce that ban.

After two - five years, the arms sector is shrinking, the deficit is shrinking, crime is reduced, police expenses are shrinking, health expenses (bullet wounds) are shrinking.



The scientists of the defense sector will start working on independence from oil (no salary tax in that sector).


Aircraft carriers are refurbished to house construction firms, including everything needed to make concrete.

They are sent out to small island states to help them improve their infrastructure, become independent from oil and get some protection against rising sea levels and natural disasters.

At the end there is still some money left, to teach people how to have fun eating and still stay healthy.

That sounds awfully like something a libertarian would say...

I've got one: move the capital to Carthage, Missouri and rename your state Carthage. You could even create a puppet state at Rome, New York, and have Triumphal marches where the Carthaginians humiliate the Romans, reversing actual history.

:D

Cool. Who says Bush is a mad man? We have one worse right here!

I wonder who will come to Canada's aid if US attacks them?

Cool. Who says Bush is a mad man? We have one worse right here!

I wonder who will come to Canada's aid if US attacks them?

Exactly! Bush is NOTHING compared to me!

Also, no one will come to Canada's aid because my attacks will be so swift and decisive. The French won't aid them, seeing how I am aiding Quebec. And if France doesn't back it, alot of members of the E.U. won't. The British probably won't, seeing how I'll strenthen the ties tenfold. And because i do not threaten the British.

Maybe...

We BOTH talk funny!

O_o
I think the real truth is that neither of you talk funny, and it's secretly me that's talking funny!
And I'm secretly a ventriloquist too. An online ventriloquist.

This all seems like a great idea but everyone forgets that somewhere along the way even the best intentions lead to corruption and scandal.. :)

This all seems like a great idea but everyone forgets that somewhere along the way even the best intentions lead to corruption and scandal.. :)

Meh.

If i get corrupted, at least i'll be filthy-stinkin rich, and in charge of the most powerful Empire in history :D