NationStates Jolt Archive

Hmmm is this a good pick up line?

"Hey is that a mirror on your chest, cause I can see myself shiiting on you!"

Or how about

"DO you take it in the butt? "


Hmm ladies what do you think?

Guy I know uses this one:

Him: Did it hurt?
Girl (self-obsessed one): Aww, when I fell from heaven?
Him: No, when they beat you with the ugly stick.

Come one, come all to NationStates, where random things happen and people have such frivolous threads! Damn I need to lay off the sugar

I used to know a guy who used this one:

"I ain't Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!"

My personal favourite is:

You put the "you" in "I really want to fuck you."

My personal favourite is:

You put the "you" in "I really want to fuck you."
HAHAHAHA! Best one yet

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i as far apart as possible. Preferrably with landmines in between.

I knew somebody who used this line:
"Hi, my names *****. I've got an excess of foreskin and I'm crap in bed..."

Guy I know uses this one:

Him: Did it hurt?
Girl (self-obsessed one): Aww, when I fell from heaven?
Him: No, when they beat you with the ugly stick.



Hahaha fantastic

I knew somebody who used this line:
"Hi, my names *****. I've got an excess of foreskin and I'm crap in bed..."
Much like this one:

"Hi, I suffer from Erectile Dysfunction! Wanna try and get laid, only to be disappointed time and time again?"

*snip*
Thank you for representing all the Albertan males who aren't getting any action...and for explaining why.

"Hey baby, I'm huge. I've got big muscles too."

Come to me, woman, and I shall have fantastic sex whilst you get bored and read a book!

Come to me, woman, and I shall have fantastic sex whilst you get bored and read a book!

Personally I like to dazzel my prey with a sleek power-point presentation highlighting the benefits of hooking up with me as oppossed to some of my competetitors. I follow up with a breif Q & A session before distrubiting pamphlets.

Wow, double post. I approve.

Hey little girl, there's a box of kittens in my van. Come inside and pick one out.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

My one friend used to use this one:

"Hi, nice shirt. Wanna screw?"

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Thank you for helping me take this thread in a disturbing new direction.

I used to know a guy who used this one:

"I ain't Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!"

Lol!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Thank you for helping me take this thread in a disturbing new direction.

Yeah, because it was all candy canes and lollipops before....

Yeah, because it was all candy canes and lollipops before....
That reminds me of one of my other pickup lines. Hey little girl, want some candy?

Hey little girl, there's a box of kittens in my van. Come inside and pick one out.

O_o...

Hmmm is this a good pick up line?

"Hey is that a mirror on your chest, cause I can see myself shiiting on you!"

Or how about

"DO you take it in the butt? "


Hmm ladies what do you think?

lmfao!

I heard this one from a local radio jockey called Tim Savage: You walk up to the chick, tap em on the back, and when they turn around, grab em by the shoulder and shout "lets mate!".

There are lots of corny pick up lines out there but one time this guy said to me:

WILL YOU BE MY BEARD?

It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did I was completely shocked!

do you wash your clothes with windex? cuz i can see myself IN YOUR PANTS

everyone knows this one

are you tired? cuz you've been runnin thru my mind all day!

:fluffle:

There are lots of corny pick up lines out there but one time this guy said to me:

WILL YOU BE MY BEARD?

It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did I was completely shocked!

ROFLMFAO!

But how did he know you weren't, erm, you know, smooth?

"Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cuz I wanna tap that ass."

"If you were trapped in a gingerbread house, I'd eat you out."

Lets add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply.

A friend of mine has a kid. When he was a baby, she was walking him in a stroller. Some random guy walked up to her and asked, "Excuse me, but is that my child?"

He he I love this thread :D

Sit on my face so I can get to nose you better. :eek:

I dont know if you would count this as a pick up line or a threat. I think it sounds disturbing what do you think?

IM GONNA CHURN YOU LIKE BUTTER

Hey mother want another! or

sit on my face so I can eat my way to your heart.

Heres a good pick-up line if your at a gay bar.

Excuse me sir can I push your stool in!

Heres a good pick-up line if your at a gay bar.

Excuse me sir can I push your stool in!
It would work outside of a gay bar. Girls have stools too.

It would work outside of a gay bar. Girls have stools too.


True, very true

Though I don't imagine a girl would take being called "sir" particularly well.

It would work outside of a gay bar. Girls have stools too.

Since girls have no prostate gland, I would expect them to be less willing to allow one to cover one's penis in their digested food.

CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

(Its a pick-up line...)

*to a waitress* What time do you get off?
...
Can I watch?

:D

Since girls have no prostate gland, I would expect them to be less willing to allow one to cover one's penis in their digested food.
Perhaps, but I doubt that line would be much less effective than the others in this thread. Besides, I thought we were talking about bar stools. :)

There are lots of corny pick up lines out there but one time this guy said to me:

WILL YOU BE MY BEARD?

It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did I was completely shocked!

i still dont get it... :headbang:

i still dont get it... :headbang:

then you arent supposed to.

"I find that the most attractive part of a woman are her boobies."

--it's from Futurama.

"I don't have a tatoo, wanna see?"

Thank you for representing all the Albertan males who aren't getting any action...and for explaining why.

that aint true I do get action!! :fluffle:

Here's my personal fave (the one I'm convinced would actually work on me were someone to actually use it):

"If I told you that you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?"

I sometimes just sniff the butt of a random girl and whimper and stare at them, thats seems to work ok...

"hmmm... you'll do"

"Hey! I have AIDS!"

Or for you drama nerds out there:
"Come smell my heliotrope in the moonlight!"
(From the play Our Town)

"Excuse me, but could you move...in the direction of my crotch" (sucky I know)

I have never used pick up lines on a girl before, but there are some ideas I have...

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hi, my name is Gene. Wanna help me spread my Gene's? :D "

----------------------------------------------------------

*I walk up to some super-hot chick*

PE: "Hey babe, would you like a ride on my Concorde?" :D

<SLAP!>

----------------------------------------------------------

PE: "I heard we got a comet headed towards earth. Speaking of which, I got a few comets of my own..." :D

<CRUNCH!>

Woman: "Not anymore you don't, you pervert!"

----------------------------------------------------------

*I walk up to some hot chick*

"Hey, babe, I hear there are a few openings in the *ahem* adult film industry..." :D

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, babe, would you like to see my boy-toy?" :D

Here's my favorite one that I jacked from Leon Phelps, Saturday Night Live's resident Ladies' Man, of whom I am often known to impersonate.

*clears throat and with a slight lisp says:*
"Baby, I put the STD in 'stud' and all I need is 'u.' "

"Most women see me as a real challenge. I just can't seem to reach orgasm!" :D

Here's my favorite one that I jacked from Leon Phelps, Saturday Night Live's resident Ladies' Man, of whom I am often known to impersonate.

*clears throat and with a slight lisp says:*
"Baby, I put the STD in 'stud' and all I need is 'u.' "
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I actually almost fell off my chair laughing! I crack every time I see that dude! haha! Good work comrade! :p

Excuse me, i couldnt help but notice you bumped into me , I hope the spongy feel of my huge penis wraped around my torso didnt alarm you...

the word of the day is legs

come back to my place and spread the word


(figure legless would enjoy this one)

"Hello, my name is ___________, I like peanut butter, want to f*ck?"

from a friend of mine, and it has worked....oddly

"Hey, lets make like the stone age and get a little Bolder"
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again?"
from some TV add that makes me laugh.


I also have a picture of a funny t-shirt, its wrapped like a present, and has a tag on it that reads, " To: Women From: God "

;) (theres at least one person out there who knows this one)

but since I'm not at liberty to divulge what just happened there - I'll say another favorite:

Hi! :)

My love for you is like diaherrea(sp?) i just cant hold it in.

diaherrea(sp?)

di·ar·rhe·a also di·ar·rhoe·a

I presume that the latter is the more British one.

I presume that the latter is the more British one.
thanx

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Personally i think most pick up lines are stupid, but there are some that are funny so they make the other person laugh, which breaks the ice.

One of my favorite is from a movie, the name of which escapes me just now:

The guy buys a small rosebud and presents it to the girl ...

"This Bud's for you."

[ for those who don't remember the "This Bud's For You" commercials, it's an American beer, Budwieser. ]

those who don't remember the "This Bud's For You" commercials, it's an American beer, Budwieser......Which is the same as water.

IM GONNA CHURN YOU LIKE BUTTER


Isn't that an Amish pick up line?

Oh Jebidiah! Churn that butter, oh baby!

"Baby, I put the STD in 'stud' and all I need is 'u.' " & "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Those both had me rolling! Good ones.

I've heard of most of the other ones listed here.

I was gonna say the 1 about the word of the day.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

A kid in my highschool once tried to use that one on me... except this was early highschool, so I had no idea why he kept saying that I had nice shoes! :rolleyes:

I've seen this one work...

Wanna get a pizza and fuck?

of course I've also seen it not work, in which case the person said, What you dont like pizza?

A kid in my highschool once tried to use that one on me... except this was early highschool, so I had no idea why he kept saying that I had nice shoes! :rolleyes:
Maybe he liked your shoes? :confused:

When I met my current guy I asked him if I could spank him, first thing. He turned around and let me so we've been together since then. I generally break the ice by asking to do something inappropriate to new guy. Usually works, dunno why.

I saw a whole site of like 500 pick up lines. Some of the ones I remember, (but havent used any of them) are:

<taps leg> You just THINK this is my leg. ;-) (that's the one I want to use)

<lick finger and wipe it on both yours and the other persons clothes> Whatta ya say we go home and get out of these wet clothes?\

I'm gonna wear you like a feed bag. (My officemate said he was gonna have to use that one-- gives you an idea how crude he is)

Walk up to the person and say "I won a National contest for the best pick up line, wanna hear it?....... 'Hi" "

Wanna get some pizza and screw? <smack> What? You don't like pizza?

(one of my faves): F__k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

I love every bone in yur body, especially mine.

Is that shirt felt? Would you like it to be?

That shirt is very becoming on you, of course if I was that shirt, I would be coming on you too.

Those pants look good on you, but they would look even better on my bedroom floor.

Know what winks and screws like a tiger? "No" <wink>

I'm lost, can I have directions to your place?

I lost my phone #, can I have yours?

See my friend over there? <point to friend across the room waving> He wants to know if you think *I'M* hot.

(and another of my faves, which I've said, but not as a pick up line) I heard milk does a body good, but damn, You must drink gallons at a time!

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Genius.

Maybe he liked your shoes? :confused:

hardly - I wasn't all that fashionable in high school!

do you have any mice?

(flexes arm muscles) for these pythons.



do you have a ticket?

(flexes arm muscles) for the gun show.

:)

...Which is the same as water.

Close. I don't drink it ... I just liked some of their commercials. :D

What do you recommend???

When I met my current guy I asked him if I could spank him, first thing. He turned around and let me so we've been together since then. I generally break the ice by asking to do something inappropriate to new guy. Usually works, dunno why.

[ HUGE SIGH! ] Oh to have been born into an age when girls actually asked guys out! Most of the "flirting" girls did when I was growing up consisted of "shy glances" and giggling. Groan.

Then again, if I had been born into such an age, I probably wouldn't have LIVED to be my age now! :D

i can't believe this thread is still going. but it's absolutely awesome so i'm glad.

a little off, but if anyone sets you up for it, it'll impress the ladies:

jerk: "You're queer."
awesome you: *slaps biceps* "Is this queer? Is this queer? Better look out, crouching tiger and hidden dragon are largin' and chargin' and lookin for chickees."
jerk: *runs away*

:rolleyes:

I don't really have a "line," but my present girlfriend of two years decided I was worth dating after I asked her to come back to my place to watch free porn.

I don't really have a "line," but my present girlfriend of two years decided I was worth dating after I asked her to come back to my place to watch free porn.
:cool:

Thank you for representing all the Albertan males who aren't getting any action...and for explaining why.
funny thing. maybe the females in canada just arent up to par. i find the guys in alberta to be quite superior.
better watch out for us american chicks.

funny thing. maybe the females in canada just arent up to par. i find the guys in alberta to be quite superior.
better watch out for us american chicks.
You haven't spent much time in Shuswap country BC have you? :D

A kid in my highschool once tried to use that one on me... except this was early highschool, so I had no idea why he kept saying that I had nice shoes! :rolleyes:
they were probally made of patent leather, and in the reflection.... he could see up your skirt.

You haven't spent much time in Shuswap country BC have you? :D
should i??? ;)

*to a waitress* What time do you get off?
...
Can I watch?

:D

I've had guys ask "What time do you get off?" And be really confused when I answered "That's a rather personal question, and it's none of your business."

BTW, can't understand why girls might think men are pigs. :D

BTW, can't understand why girls might think men are pigs. :D
And if men WERE pigs....

... well.... let's just say that I wouldn't do THAT to a pig

And if men WERE pigs....

... well.... let's just say that I wouldn't do THAT to a pig

Maybe all sex is bestiality. :p

Maybe all sex is bestiality. :p
ewww :(

"My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."

Hey baby, you'd better stop, drop and roll - cause you're on FIRE!

No, really! My cigarette ignited that stuff in your hair. :D

Can I buy you and beer and then shag you, or don't you like beer?