NationStates Jolt Archive

Hi guys, i was jst wondering, all you ppls opinion on the appropriate age for having sex (first time)..

In the immortal words of Chef: 17

17.

Some are never mature enough. For some few 16 MIGHT be sufficiently mature. Sex, like most things in life which have an upside, also has a downside for those of little wisdom. Sex and emotions are inextricably intertwined.

I would say wait till marriage but if you really love somebody, 24.

I say 18, possibly 17. I feel that anything before this could ruin someone's life

in case they don't see this poll you should count two votes under other, for New Anthrus, and Armadian Cheese, both of which are obssed with the idea that sex is inherantly evil, and should be abolished

15-17 isn't the best age bracket, because I think 17 is generally about right, but the vast majority of 15 year olds aren't mature enough.

I say 18, possibly 17. I feel that anything before this could ruin someone's life

in case they don't see this poll you should count two votes under other, for New Anthrus, and Armadian Cheese, both of which are obssed with the idea that sex is inherantly evil, and should be abolished

I suspect you are correct about the ages.

As to New Anthrus and Armadian Cheese ... talk about "selective breeding!" Whew!

Waiting for marriage is bullshit. One of the cornerstones of any good relationship is a healthy sex life, especially in marriage. It may seem selfish, but one should make sure to know that they are compatible sexually with their spouse. Also, let me tell you that practice is especially important, so only having sex with one person ever is not going to help your future situation. So go out and have sex, with more than one person, not necessarily all at once, but whatever floats your boat, and make sure that you know someone completely before entering into a lawfully and spiritually binding relationship.

I suspect you are correct about the ages.

As to New Anthrus and Armadian Cheese ... talk about "selective breeding!" Whew!
new anthrus started two threads about abolishing sex
the second one (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=389934)
and I got rid of the other one, but it was named ban sex

/thread jack

I would say it varies for individuals, but people shouldn't be having sex before high school, and most people shouldn't be having sex then. College is a little different, though people should, at the very least, use protection.

Oh and as regards your question, I would say that it depends not only on the person's maturity, but also his/her partner. So yes, a fifteen-year-old may be ready, but I doubt they are if they are getting with someone older than 17 or so. Also one should make sure to follow the laws of their state as concerns age of consent, or at least make sure no one catches you.

Now we're talking when people should be ready, not what the laws about age of consent ought to be, right? I guess around the 18-20 range... hard to say.

I suspect you are correct about the ages.

As to New Anthrus and Armadian Cheese ... talk about "selective breeding!" Whew!

ROFL

Very much depends on the individuals maturity. Most people probably think they're ready before they actually are.

I'm going to say seventeen, simply because I think for me (age with-held) was perhaps a little too early for me to really understand what I was getting into (no pun intended). The thing is, this is really quite subjective, I mean - it depends so much on a persons maturity and willingness to accept the responsibility that goes with this action. I mean, I know some people that are nearly my age but well below any sort of maturity level that I think they ought to have to be particpating in this. I think thats what it comes down to though - its just a relative question. This age group is the most common age that I can recall people 'doing it' in my group of friends, I mean, its a learning thing. Theres a lot going on at this stage of a persons life, it seems like a perfect time to explore that part of ourself to me. Heck, for some people the act was what they needed to give them a little maturity! Really, I'm not sure how to define a proper answer to this, so I'll cut short and leave it at that. :)

Waiting for marriage is bullshit. One of the cornerstones of any good relationship is a healthy sex life, especially in marriage. It may seem selfish, but one should make sure to know that they are compatible sexually with their spouse. Also, let me tell you that practice is especially important, so only having sex with one person ever is not going to help your future situation. So go out and have sex, with more than one person, not necessarily all at once, but whatever floats your boat, and make sure that you know someone completely before entering into a lawfully and spiritually binding relationship.

I think having sex with your ultimate lover is a much more sensual and spiritual experience than with randoms..

:) sorry for the corniness :rolleyes:

I say 13. That's usually around the time the hormones kick in, if memory serves.

I think having sex with your ultimate lover is a much more sensual and spiritual experience than with randoms..

I couldn't agree more. I was just advocating having sex before marriage and having sex with more than one person. And yes, I will grant those who find their somebody on the first try leniency.

I think having sex with your ultimate lover is a much more sensual and spiritual experience than with randoms..

:) sorry for the corniness :rolleyes:

It's not corny at all, IMHO. People who have casual sex with a variety of partners but no long-term relationship miss out on over half of what sex is really all about. The complete giving to each other when there's complete trust has no compare to anything else I have experienced in my entire life.

Depending on individual emotional maturity and such, I think the 15-17 age bracket will suffice.

It's not corny at all, IMHO. People who have casual sex with a variety of partners but no long-term relationship miss out on over half of what sex is really all about. The complete giving to each other when there's complete trust has no compare to anything else I have experienced in my entire life.Seconded! More than half.

Seconded! More than half.

Kewl! The closest I can get by way of comparison is a deeply moving spiritual epiphany.

My first time was 16. I've been with the same person ever since. I might would have waited until marriage, but it's not legal for us queers :D

As far as an entirely one partner sexual experience, Im not disputing that it has its merrits at all - and I think thats a very good way to look at it. But for me, the way I look at it - is that if I was on a beach, and there were all of these beautiful rocks to look at and turn over etc. I would not be able to take them all home - by the end of the day my pockets would be bulging to the seams with my precious cargo. So I can't have them all, but I can't decide which one I like the best, which one is best for me. The only way to figure that out is to walk the beach a little, pick up some rocks, look them over, get to know them... The trick is, when you find the one you like youve got to hang on to it and never let it go.

I'm sorry for objectionalizing women with that - I know it sounds perfectly awful, I don't mean it that way but I couldn't think of a better analogy off the top of my head. I would hope that women would do the same thing on a beach of their own.

and a pitiful attempt at humorizing the situation:
Sex to me is like an onion in a relationship, youve got all of this shell around the heart that needs to be peeled away carefully to see the heart in the center. Sometimes there are tears, sometimes the onion is too strong and you can't eat it, sometimes your fingers get a little smelly... but hey! Its all worth it for what you get in the end... :D

My simple responce. It's all about maturity. Also understand that most will have sex before they are ready but the situation of it may in fact make them more mature. Everyone is different and it is very difficult to make one set rule.

Waiting for marriage is bullshit. One of the cornerstones of any good relationship is a healthy sex life, especially in marriage. It may seem selfish, but one should make sure to know that they are compatible sexually with their spouse. Also, let me tell you that practice is especially important, so only having sex with one person ever is not going to help your future situation. So go out and have sex, with more than one person, not necessarily all at once, but whatever floats your boat, and make sure that you know someone completely before entering into a lawfully and spiritually binding relationship.

First off, sex *isn't* necessary for love, and as tragic as the idea is, love isn't needed for sex either. One is an intangible emotional thing, the other is a fully physical act. To say that sex is the "cornerstone of any good relationship" says that virgins are incapable of love, or of any "good relationship" for that matter. Very narrow.

People should definitely wait until they're married before they engage in any sexual activity. Ethically, anything else is noxious for you and every other person you go out with. Physically, they are too many risks in having sex for pleasure. If you're in it to feel good, then take a cold shower, get a massage, or at the very least, do it alone. The risk heavily outweighs the gain, as any teenage parent or child of a teenage parent can tell you.

If the cornerstone of your supposed relationship is sex, then stop lying and start paying.

In the immortal words of Chef: 17

There are no words in your words.

I wish I had sex earlier, I didn't have sex until I was 19, and I'm still with that person so I've only had sex with one person. I know it may not be important to some people, but I just wish I had sex with other people before I got into my current relationship.

There are no words in your words.
Seventeen

There better?

I wish I had sex earlier, I didn't have sex until I was 19, and I'm still with that person so I've only had sex with one person. I know it may not be important to some people, but I just wish I had sex with other people before I got into my current relationship.

are they bad in bed?

First off, sex *isn't* necessary for love, and as tragic as the idea is, love isn't needed for sex either. One is an intangible emotional thing, the other is a fully physical act. To say that sex is the "cornerstone of any good relationship" says that virgins are incapable of love, or of any "good relationship" for that matter. Very narrow.

People should definitely wait until they're married before they engage in any sexual activity. Ethically, anything else is noxious for you and every other person you go out with. Physically, they are too many risks in having sex for pleasure. If you're in it to feel good, then take a cold shower, get a massage, or at the very least, do it alone. The risk heavily outweighs the gain, as any teenage parent or child of a teenage parent can tell you.

If the cornerstone of your supposed relationship is sex, then stop lying and start paying.

There are many, many reasons to justify getting married, most of which are bad ones. Sex falls into that category. Unfortunately, sex is also the single most powerful motivator for almost every species, including humans ... especially humans.

So far as my knowledge of history goes, sex has never been successfully confined to marriage in any society. Sex is going to happen for some, regardless. Unfortunately, there is no way to tell who is going to fall into that rather select group of those who can successfully abstain. The best thing a parent can do is: explain what a powerful motivator sex is, explain the dangers and pitfalls, and stress acting responsibly in this as well as all areas of life. At least then they're not unarmed when facing this decision.

are they bad in bed?

How do I know? I have nothing else to compare... I always feel like I'm doing it wrong 'that's always a bad sign. Not only that, I feel like I've missed out by not having anyone prior. If that makes sense.

How do I know? I have nothing else to compare... I always feel like I'm doing it wrong 'that's always a bad sign. Not only that, I feel like I've missed out by not having anyone prior. If that makes sense.

1. Just how committed are you to your current relationship?

2. Have you read any good books on sex?

3. Are you and your SO compatible in other ways ( LOTS of other ways )?

Good sexual technique can be learned ... together. Lots of other things can't.

First off, sex *isn't* necessary for love, and as tragic as the idea is, love isn't needed for sex either. One is an intangible emotional thing, the other is a fully physical act. To say that sex is the "cornerstone of any good relationship" says that virgins are incapable of love, or of any "good relationship" for that matter. Very narrow.

People should definitely wait until they're married before they engage in any sexual activity. Ethically, anything else is noxious for you and every other person you go out with. Physically, they are too many risks in having sex for pleasure. If you're in it to feel good, then take a cold shower, get a massage, or at the very least, do it alone. The risk heavily outweighs the gain, as any teenage parent or child of a teenage parent can tell you.

If the cornerstone of your supposed relationship is sex, then stop lying and start paying.

I said a cornerstone, not the cornerstone. Maybe I should have phrased it differently considering the connotation of that word. Let's say that I believe that sex is one of the pillars that supports a good marriage. In my opinion, there are two fundamental aspects of a happy, fulfilling, committed relationship. Sex and everything else, and while sex is not the most important one of those two, it is still important. So therefore, yes, technically you are right, sex is not necessary for romantic love, it is still extremely important.

Also with the proper precautions sex can be fairly risk-free physically. While, yes, there is still a chance of mishap that does not exist in abstinence, it can be small if people are properly educated. The issue with teenage pregnancy has little to do with the sex act itself, it is because of the lack of good, proper sex education in our schools. There is a reason that teenage pregnancy is down from previous decades, education. To think otherwise is ridiculous.

And, not to gripe too much but what does this statement mean, "Ethically, anything else is noxious for you and every other person you go out with."?

1. Just how committed are you to your current relationship?

2. Have you read any good books on sex?

3. Are you and your SO compatible in other ways ( LOTS of other ways )?

Good sexual technique can be learned ... together. Lots of other things can't.

1. Very, 3 years so far and I hope for many more!:)
2. Depends what you mean on 'good,' many seem to me to be written by perverts.
3. Yeah, we are totally compatable, except when it comes to ordering pizza. "What do you mean you don't want pineapple???":p And that I have an interest in current affairs.

18

1. Very, 3 years so far and I hope for many more!:)
2. Depends what you mean on 'good,' many seem to me to be written by perverts.
3. Yeah, we are totally compatable, except when it comes to ordering pizza. "What do you mean you don't want pineapple???":p And that I have an interest in current affairs.

1. Excellent. Then you wouldn't want to risk losing her because you sampled the wares elsewhere. :)

2. There are any number of really excellent books on sex that aren't written by perverts. Dr. Ruth springs to mind. :)

3. Excellent. Then perhaps what you have now is what you should strive mightily to retain.

:D

I would say wait till marrige, but seeing that we can't take away peoples right to have sex, I'll say 16

Then perhaps what you have now is what you should strive mightily to retain.

:D

Oh, I do hope to retain, I just wish I had more experience and experiences.

I envision a future where no one has sex, as no one desires it. It is primative and destructive to the human mind and spirit. But I know that it will take an extremely long time for humans to overcome their primative desires.

Anybody seen equilibrium?

Oh, I do hope to retain, I just wish I had more experience and experiences.

Want some advice? Not to put too fine a point on it, but either get over it, or get out of your current relationship.

I say 14. Maybe abit young, but that's when my first time was. I was/am confident I was ready for it and don't regret it at all.

I thought I was mature enough... But it really doesn't matter. Everyone is different.

if i had known then how good sex feels, i owuld have started at birth, or shortly after.

16 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 5 minutes, 14.3 seconds. For everyone.

16 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 5 minutes, 14.3 seconds. For everyone.
What? :confused:

Sex is fun and harmless if people know what they're doing.
We gotta teach the kids that sex is ok as long as its with a catholic preist.











this is a joke. take it like a man. ;)

if i had known then how good sex feels, i owuld have started at birth, or shortly after.
what???? no one agrees with this?

I'd say 18, I wouldn't shag anyone under the age of 18. :)

Now it it were up to me when I was a teenager, it would have been 13 with my Physics teacher Babs!

No idea. Depends on the persons maturity.

As long as their smart enough to practice safe sex? And if something goes wrong, they'll act upon it rationally?

what???? no one agrees with this?
Give me five! ;)
I really dont get the large faction propagating sex only within wedlock.
What if i am fully mature, having a job, a steady relationship, the willingness to take care of eventual children and simply dont like the concept of marriage or had prior bad expiriences? E.g. my mother and my stepfather were in their fourties when they married, both having children from former marriages, raising us kids together and having sex over seven years without wedlock till they finally agreed to make the bond once again.
What if i feel that i can handle it, my partner can and we have nice, consensual fun while using contraceptives?
What are the often cited mental consequences? And why are twens who agree to have sex because they feel attracted to each other subjected to those consequences while married teenagers are immune?

Well, it was nineteen for me. But had it been a year or two earlier I wouldn't have said it'd been wrong. Just that I didn't meet the right person at that time.

I'd say sixteen is about the lowest age. But not everyone would be mature enough at that age.

I stated other because I don't necessarily believe in an age-based restriction. There are too many variables involved in age differences. There are 18 year olds and 21 year olds who aren't mature enough to sneeze without holding their parent's hands and there are 14 or 15 year olds who are more mature than I am.

Besides that, another reason I didn't pick a particular age is my preference for abstaining from sex until the person is in a committed relationship (marriage, civil union, etc.). I am tempted to say that I wouldn't want a child to have sex before he or she turned 18, but I'm also a realist. I would probably tell a child that I don't want them having sex until they can fully grasp all the ramifications and handle all the responsibilities that are involved. Some people can do that at an early age; others don't seem to be able to at any age.

As some of my old online friends would say MO, YMMV

I would say wait till marriage but if you really love somebody, 24.
sorry but no 24 youngest :upyours:

Lost my virginity at 13. Never regretted it for a moment. In fact, it made me an incredible lover at 16, compared to others who were just getting into it.

I know some ladies that lost it at the same age, and they regretted it more than any guy I know...so maybe the appropriate age is different depending on what sex you are?

I voted other because it depends on the people involved, the situation, and all that crap.

:fluffle:

Well, this is 2 fold for me.
1. I was 20 the first time I had sex.
2. I really think people should wait until their married.

My current GF told me she humped her pillow as early as 10 years old

To engage in sexual intercourse, 18 is fair.

To be defined as a sex, as soon as possible would be preferable.

Whenever they feel they are ready. If they have a bad experience they should take that as a learning experience and grow from it.

Waiting for marriage is bullshit. One of the cornerstones of any good relationship is a healthy sex life, especially in marriage. It may seem selfish, but one should make sure to know that they are compatible sexually with their spouse. Also, let me tell you that practice is especially important, so only having sex with one person ever is not going to help your future situation. So go out and have sex, with more than one person, not necessarily all at once, but whatever floats your boat, and make sure that you know someone completely before entering into a lawfully and spiritually binding relationship.

You obviously must be a guy because that's all that guys think about ( sex sex sex) excuse me get over yourself. Sure go for it if you want all sorts of stds.and me Im waiting tell marriage. I don't want to be a high school drop out cause I had sex and got pregnant. Or have to get and abortion thats just wrong. So quit thinking with your dick

I'm going to say seventeen, simply because I think for me (age with-held) was perhaps a little too early for me to really understand what I was getting into (no pun intended). The thing is, this is really quite subjective, I mean - it depends so much on a persons maturity and willingness to accept the responsibility that goes with this action. I mean, I know some people that are nearly my age but well below any sort of maturity level that I think they ought to have to be particpating in this. I think thats what it comes down to though - its just a relative question. This age group is the most common age that I can recall people 'doing it' in my group of friends, I mean, its a learning thing. Theres a lot going on at this stage of a persons life, it seems like a perfect time to explore that part of ourself to me. Heck, for some people the act was what they needed to give them a little maturity! Really, I'm not sure how to define a proper answer to this, so I'll cut short and leave it at that. :)

GIVE ME A BREAK.. you actually think a 17 year old .. especially a male but even a female has the mental maturity to realize what kind of relationship is attached with sex... males to reach full mental maturity till 21 . Of course 17 year olds say they are mature enough.. only because they want to have sex.. hell 14 year olds say they are mature enough.. infact didn't the 12 year old student who slept with his teacher say he was mature enough ? This poll is outragous at the very least and shows the state of which society has fallen to where people would say 15 -18 year olds are ready for any kind of sexual relationship.. what if something goes wrong and the girl is impregnated.. how many lives are ruined because kids want to act on their hormones... even more sad most sexual education programs propgate the idea of safe sex only.. which is why so many kids think they can have and are ready for sex.. What a failor of parenting ...

Other: it really depends on maturity level. Both parties have to at least be mature enough to talk about it seriously, and buy condoms or other forms of birth control in person.

If you're too embarassed to buy condoms, you're too immature to have sex.

I know three different girls who were having sex by the age of 14 and were mothers by the age of 15, and the two I kind of kept track of since then have managed to turn out to be pretty decent mothers, so it's quite possible for kids in their early teens to handle the full responsibilities of sex, though as it's been said, it relies more on their level of maturity than it does their age.

Personally, at 22, I've yet to have sex. Not that I haven't wanted to, but casual sex holds absolutely no appeal to me whatsoever, as I'm much more interested in love than I am in lust. I'm not much of a people person, and getting comfortable enough with a girl is quite difficult as I'm pretty introverted and withdrawn and eccentric once you get past that, so I've always known it'd take a special kind of girl for me to ever want to do anything physical with her, and that I'd have to be absolutely certain that she felt as strongly for me as I know I would feel for her. So I've stayed alone and waited, rather impatiently, but I also refused to get into a relationship out of desperation. I knew that when I met the right girl, I would not have to try to develop a relationship with her, it would just happen.

And then, it happened, just how I pictured it would with a girl who I couldn't have found more perfect in everyway. I've known her for about 3 years now online, as we have both been very active members of the message boards at Ninjai.com since November of 2001. I was 19 at the time, and she was 14, and our paths on the boards never really crossed much, and when they did, it was only briefly, but I always loved her style of posting, it was always just so off the wall and hyper and I just found it hilarious, and it seemed she has admired me for quite some time as well. Then, back in November, I finally posted my picture on the forums, and seemingly out of the blue, her response was something along the lines of *hits in head with club and drags back to cave* (I've got long blonde hair, which she really seemed to dig). It took me by complete surprise, but I wasn't going to complain, and we joked about me being made her mate for a while, and it died down and I thought nothing of it really, just some fun on a message board. Then on Christmas Eve, they finally announced they were going to release a new chapter of Ninjai after like a 2 year wait for those who were around before they moved the chapters to Atomfilms, and I made a comment about hoping that this would breathe new life into the forums which have grown kind of stagnant with the long delay, and she makes a comment about how she'd breathe some life into me, and next thing you know, we're at it again flirting back and forth, so finally, I tell her to add me to her msn messenger list so we could talk off the boards.

So we get to talking, and she mentions that just before she added me, she sent me a private message on my web site, the Mysanthropic Asylum, so I read it, and it seems that, at the risk of her sounding stalkerish, she just had to tell me how much she respected me and thought I had an amazing mind, and just thuroughly flattered me like no girl has ever done before, and the more we talked, the more we felt an instant connection between each other that just grew stronger, and within a matter of two weeks, I knew without a doubt, she was the one. She doesn't turn 18 for another 24 days, but that suited me just fine, because I couldn't really afford to rush out to see her anyways as she lives near Boston while I'm in Wisconin half way across the country. So, we plan to meet in person March 4th, and hopefully convince her mother over the weekend to let her come back to Wisconsin with me. Not that we'd necessarily need her approval, but we'd prefer to have it than cause her unnecessary grief.

We are both virgins, and as such, have decided to wait until marriage to have full on intercourse with each other, if only to be different as neither of us are Christian (personally, I consider myself Discordian, and with the way she acts, she might as well be, we've already agreed that we want a daughter and to name her Eris :) ), but we also both agree that we feel strongly enough about each other that if we wanted to we could have sex with each other the first night we'll be together, and as such want to become comfortable with each other sexually in other ways long before that. I know I'm more than eager to explore her body for hours without even caring if I ever get naked. Masterbation has served me well enough through the years, and once I have her, playing with her body and learning how to please her could honestly keep me gratified for months.

even more sad most sexual education programs propgate the idea of safe sex only.. which is why so many kids think they can have and are ready for sex.. What a failor of parenting ...

And saddest of all are the programs that teach abstinence only, use scare tacitcs and misinformation, and tell kids that safe sex isn't even worth using, so they go out and have tons of unprotected sex and teen pregnancy and STD rates skyrocket because they were scared into thinking safe sex isn't very safe, but not scared into refraining from sex... You know, the kind Bush just loves to encourage the use of.

You obviously must be a guy because that's all that guys think about ( sex sex sex) excuse me get over yourself. Sure go for it if you want all sorts of stds.and me Im waiting tell marriage. I don't want to be a high school drop out cause I had sex and got pregnant. Or have to get and abortion thats just wrong. So quit thinking with your dick
Yes, the moment you have sex, you get pregnant, catch a STD, drop from school and your life is over. :rolleyes:
You obviously should wait. Maybe till you can post in a way that is recognized as the oppinion of a sane, informed and possibly mature person. Or Hell freezes over, whatever comes first.

Rant
How old are you?
Do you have experienced what you are talking about or just repeating learned arguments?
What kind of sex ed would you like to see? Abstinence only, which was related to higher teen pregnancy and STD number repeatedly?

I feel that this is a huge undertaking and people need ti be awre of the issuses surronding sex. At 18 u are cinsidered grown up and i feel that 18 is approiate!

Myself, as a devout Evangelical Christian, believe personally that one should not have sex until marriage to preserve a very special act with the one person whom you will always love above all others (I am 21 and still a virgin, and proud of it), but I'm not so closed-minded as to say that everyone has to hold up to that standard. However, I think most younger people really do not have the psychosocial maturity to make solid, informed decisions involving sexual relations. That age tends to vary from person to person, although I think 16 is pretty much an absolute minimum. Most people should probably wait until they're 18 or maybe even 20 at least, to the point where they are able to think rationally about the issues that sex entails and whether or not it is worth it to have premarital relations at that time.

You obviously must be a guy because that's all that guys think about ( sex sex sex) excuse me get over yourself. Sure go for it if you want all sorts of stds.and me Im waiting tell marriage. I don't want to be a high school drop out cause I had sex and got pregnant. Or have to get and abortion thats just wrong. So quit thinking with your dick

I'm a girl and I would agree with the basics of what he said.

How old are you?
Do you have experienced what you are talking about or just repeating learned arguments?
What kind of sex ed would you like to see? Abstinence only, which was related to higher teen pregnancy and STD number repeatedly?


Im 22 .. and I actually belive in only now ready for sex.. And yes i think religous groups are very wrong for teaching abstinence only.. in this day and age its impossible to move backward now that sex is such an open topic.. But sex ed classes today only teach kids how to protect themselves as though it were invetiable even condoned as long as it is safe.. I realize this isn't what their intention is but that is how kids take it. It is quite evident in the rise in child sexual activity. Yes sex ed classes have worked to lower std numbers and teen pregnancy, but your still not addressing the root cause.. the fact that kids are having sex so early to begin with. Its like teaching a kid not to stick his hand in a blazing fire but telling him to use a glove to protect himself. No matter how careful he is.. may eventually get burnt.

Not to mention this brings in the issue of abortion which is totally different aspect but still tied in. Why can't we intergrate Abstinance into sex ed classes instead of simply teaching kids what condoms are ? people are so desperate not to give in one inch to more concervative groups they continue to risk the health the children and continue to build a damaging enviornment on the issues of sex in the minds of kids. Today 17 year olds say they are ready to have sex.. but the reality is 13 years are already getting into it simply because this is the way now kids show they are "grown up". This event was arguably non existant 20 years ago.. now i know kids under 14 who have more sexual experiance then most of my friends in their 20's

You obviously must be a guy because that's all that guys think about ( sex sex sex) excuse me get over yourself. Sure go for it if you want all sorts of stds.and me Im waiting tell marriage. I don't want to be a high school drop out cause I had sex and got pregnant. Or have to get and abortion thats just wrong. So quit thinking with your dick

Yes, I am a guy, but no, sex is not all that I, and many other guys, think about. I also have a job to think about, classes, my thesis, and a whole slew of other things. Secondly, not every sexual encounter results in pregnancy or infection. All that is required to avoid such things is a knowledge of safe sex and a partner's sexual history. Also I try my best to think with my brain and not my dick, my opinion is based on experience, upbringing, and rational thought. Maybe you are the one that needs to stop thinking with something, namely your faith.

14ish. Probably. It depends on the person. As long as it's safe, they're both consenting and both ready then I see no problem.

I know three different girls who were having sex by the age of 14 and were mothers by the age of 15, and the two I kind of kept track of since then have managed to turn out to be pretty decent mothers, so it's quite possible for kids in their early teens to handle the full responsibilities of sex, though as it's been said, it relies more on their level of maturity than it does their age.


True.. maybe for their extreme cases they were mentally able.. but what a loss of a childhood.. As children at that age we gain most of our most memberable experiances.. and far less chance for future education.. and what kind of stablility can they offer their children. This is the state of affairs when you teach protection without cause for avoidance

Depends on the individual.

Some people, if rarely, are mentally equipped to handle sex and full relationships early on, some NEVER become ready for it.

That said, in my experience, sexuality in the culture begins in middle school (albeit largely, I hypothesize, because they're basically competing with the hormone levels of the kids who're about to hit high school), after which individuals choose their time to 'join in' based on how they percieve their 'peers' actions. Indeed, I've known a guy who's had his first sexual experience at, I think it was, ten years old. Indeed, I'm the latest bloomer I personally know, as I didn't even become -interested- until I was nearly 19, and didn't have my first sexual experience until I was nearly 21. This is despite the fact that I am somewhat more mature, on average, than those around me (online people tend to assume I'm an old man... I was accussed of being 34 when I was 15...). I was simply not emotionally prepared for the whole thing, and, indeed, I may well still be a virgin had I not been falling in love with the young woman (Knew her for several years), and been seduced by her for a solid week.

Yes, I am a guy, but no, sex is not all that I, and many other guys, think about. I also have a job to think about, classes, my thesis, and a whole slew of other things. Secondly, not every sexual encounter results in pregnancy or infection. All that is required to avoid such things is a knowledge of safe sex and a partner's sexual history. Also I try my best to think with my brain and not my dick, my opinion is based on experience, upbringing, and rational thought. Maybe you are the one that needs to stop thinking with something, namely your faith.

so 14 year olds are ready to ask their partners about their sexual history ? 17 year olds 18 year olds ? you may say yes now.. but the sad fact is.. most kids are so insecure about themselves, how can they ever be prepared to investiage their partners ? Kids only talk to one another about sex because its seen as a social "in". Very VERY few 17 year olds can have mature and serious talks about sex and its consequences

Depends on the individual.

Some people, if rarely, are mentally equipped to handle sex and full relationships early on, some NEVER become ready for it.

That said, in my experience, sexuality in the culture begins in middle school (albeit largely, I hypothesize, because they're basically competing with the hormone levels of the kids who're about to hit high school), after which individuals choose their time to 'join in' based on how they percieve their 'peers' actions. Indeed, I've known a guy who's had his first sexual experience at, I think it was, ten years old. Indeed, I'm the latest bloomer I personally know, as I didn't even become -interested- until I was nearly 19, and didn't have my first sexual experience until I was nearly 21. This is despite the fact that I am somewhat more mature, on average, than those around me (online people tend to assume I'm an old man... I was accussed of being 34 when I was 15...). I was simply not emotionally prepared for the whole thing, and, indeed, I may well still be a virgin had I not been falling in love with the young woman (Knew her for several years), and been seduced by her for a solid week.


You say "despite the fact" I would argue it is because of the fact that you are more mature mentally that you waited so long.. Ive also been described as like a 50 year old in an 18 year olds body.. and i only became interested in sex when i was 20 and im 22 and still havn't had my first sexual experiance... and not ashamed.. kids brag so much that they did a girl .. but like some have identified there are 10 year olds out there with more sexual experiance then some 17 year olds..

so 14 year olds are ready to ask their partners about their sexual history ? ....

I was. Ready enough to go together and get STI tests beforehand aswell. And mature enough to discuss protection together beforehand and the various methods, the pros and cons, and decide on the best option. Mature enough to wait for a serious, loving, commited relationship where we can talk about sex openly and make sure we are both safe and happy.

Not all 14 year olds are stupid. Some are, but most of the people I know the same age as me are sensible, waiting for the right person and would know how to do it all safely and properly.

Im 22 .. and I actually belive in only now ready for sex.. And yes i think religous groups are very wrong for teaching abstinence only.. in this day and age its impossible to move backward now that sex is such an open topic.. But sex ed classes today only teach kids how to protect themselves as though it were invetiable even condoned as long as it is safe.. I realize this isn't what their intention is but that is how kids take it. It is quite evident in the rise in child sexual activity. Yes sex ed classes have worked to lower std numbers and teen pregnancy, but your still not addressing the root cause.. the fact that kids are having sex so early to begin with. Its like teaching a kid not to stick his hand in a blazing fire but telling him to use a glove to protect himself. No matter how careful he is.. may eventually get burnt.

Not to mention this brings in the issue of abortion which is totally different aspect but still tied in. Why can't we intergrate Abstinance into sex ed classes instead of simply teaching kids what condoms are ? people are so desperate not to give in one inch to more concervative groups they continue to risk the health the children and continue to build a damaging enviornment on the issues of sex in the minds of kids. Today 17 year olds say they are ready to have sex.. but the reality is 13 years are already getting into it simply because this is the way now kids show they are "grown up". This event was arguably non existant 20 years ago.. now i know kids under 14 who have more sexual experiance then most of my friends in their 20's
I don't know about elsewhere, but when I was in school, our sex ed classes had a sensible mix of safe sex practices as well as stressing that abstinence was the only 100% effective method to avoid both pregnancy and STD's.

The main problem I see in this country is that while the media glamorizes sex and uses it to sell just about anything, religion and parents usually make it a taboo subject and refuse to talk to their kids about it, leaving the schools to try to handle it. This gives kids a very confused outlook on sex, they think its cool twice over because of its glamorization by the media and it being condemned by their parents. If parents were more open and honest to their kids about sex, and cared to actually take part in their lives instead of leaving them to be raised by the school systems and the media, things wouldn't be in as sad of a state as they are now if you ask me.

As long as you know the consiqunces.

Why can't we intergrate Abstinance into sex ed classes instead of simply teaching kids what condoms are ?

Last I checked, most sex ed classes DO.

The line is usually something like "Protection helps, but the only safe sex is no sex." It's just sorta silly to harp about not doing something for an entire semester.

Really, what's missing from sex ed are sexual -alternatives-.

Masturbation, mutual masturbation, oral, anal etc, are all safer than actual coitus, to varying degrees (Anal sex should be mentioned solely to keep people from hurting themselves, and to keep in mind that there's a chance, in the case male-female sex, for the ejaculate to drip down and end up in a worrisome place -- hence why it was last on my list, heh).

One can have a satisfying sex life without the risk of pregnancy. Disease can still be spread by most of the above, but you can at least avoid popping kids out or having to pay for an abortion.

Why can't we intergrate Abstinance into sex ed classes instead of simply teaching kids what condoms are ? people are so desperate not to give in one inch to more concervative groups they continue to risk the health the children and continue to build a damaging enviornment on the issues of sex in the minds of kids. Today 17 year olds say they are ready to have sex.. but the reality is 13 years are already getting into it simply because this is the way now kids show they are "grown up". This event was arguably non existant 20 years ago.. now i know kids under 14 who have more sexual experiance then most of my friends in their 20's

On the other hand, nearly all societies accepted that kids were ready to marry and have sex once they reach the level of physical maturity for millenia. The concept of "Protect them until (fill in the blank)" is pretty modern. No, i am not for young teenagers having kids because it is biologically possible, but strictly against the "good old times" argument, even worse when used by people who didnt live in those times.
When i had sex ed as part of biology classes, nearly twenty years ago, we got teached the whole thing from a purely scientific viewpoint. I didnt feel like i was encouraged to have sex just because i know what processes are set into motion by what action or hormone or how this or that contraception method works. But i pretty well knew that i should not rely on Knauss-Ogino, and that condoms really work wonders in stopping the aids spread and some other tidbits. Too bad, i knew most of that before and had practical experience as well. ;) Nonetheless i dont feel like i catched some mental or emotional damage from having sex as a fifteen year old.

so 14 year olds are ready to ask their partners about their sexual history ? 17 year olds 18 year olds ? you may say yes now.. but the sad fact is.. most kids are so insecure about themselves, how can they ever be prepared to investiage their partners ? Kids only talk to one another about sex because its seen as a social "in". Very VERY few 17 year olds can have mature and serious talks about sex and its consequences

If they are not able to do such things, then they are not ready. This does not go against anything I have said. I just do not feel that people should define an age that people are ready, nor should people preach absolute abstinence since it will leave you unprepared for a gratifying loving, sexual relationship.

On the other hand, nearly all societies accepted that kids were ready to marry and have sex once they reach the level of physical maturity for millenia. The concept of "Protect them until (fill in the blank)" is pretty modern. No, i am not for young teenagers having kids because it is biologically possible, but strictly against the "good old times" argument, even worse when used by people who didnt live in those times.
When i had sex ed as part of biology classes, nearly twenty years ago, we got teached the whole thing from a purely scientific viewpoint. I didnt feel like i was encouraged to have sex just because i know what processes are set into motion by what action or hormone or how this or that contraception method works. But i pretty well knew that i should not rely on Knauss-Ogino, and that condoms really work wonders in stopping the aids spread and some other tidbits. Too bad, i knew most of that before and had practical experience as well. ;) Nonetheless i dont feel like i catched some mental or emotional damage from having sex as a fifteen year old.

The old ideas of having kids ready for sex at physical maturity was a social nessesity in those times.. Because people had such short life expectancies, if Kids waited till their early or mid 20's to have sex it would have been likely they wouldn't have lived to partent their children. And i would argue protection is good but the best sex is no sex simply isn't strong enough.. the best sex is no sex is usually left off as a foot note after 2 hours of condom usage and std videos. There simply is little to no emphasis put on the "best sex is no sex" line. I know when i went through sex ed this is the way things were.. Now adays sex ed classes are suppose to be more advanced, and yet kids are even more sexually active then kids were in my day.. which wasn't too long ago O.o when i was in middle school maybe 2 kids in the whole class may have had sex, even then it was a little known fact.. Ive heard some statistics that suggest something like 5 - 15% (I would think even higher) of kids in middle school now engage in sexual activity or seriously consider it. An outragous climb considering im only 22 and was there not but less then 10 years ago

Age of Consent in UK for sex is 16 - that works for me, so why would I want to change it?

i think whenever you are in love :fluffle:

There simply is little to no emphasis put on the "best sex is no sex" line.
The best sex is consensual, responsible sex with someone you love, not "no sex". If someone would have told me otherwise i would sue him for the years i missed. ;)

I would say wait till marriage but if you really love somebody, 24.

a hippy saying 24 :eek: i say 16 or 17 as it is here

Correlation/causation. Make sure you have proof that the difference is due to changes in sexual education, rather than other societal factors, such as, say, the fact that parents don't bother talking with their kids much anymore, the fact that many kids are bored -- little Christian town I spent my last two years of high school in had more visible sexual activity than the North Monterey high school I attended, where the sex ed teacher was very open about masturbation and such -- it's because there's almost nothing to do in that scabby little town except drink and have sex, a common issue in the ever-expanding suburbia.

15-17...if you actually posess some intelligence, and maturity.

Circumstancial. It all depends on the person.