NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm still very new to this forum and I don't expect much response to this thread but typing it out makes me feel better. Its the usual story of how a girl shoots down a guy, but it just feels worse for me because she is my best friend doing the same course so I will see her every day. I want it to be how it was before I told her that I loved her more than a friend and I promised her that nothing would change but how can things remain the same? I almost feel like I'd never get over it but I know that it is a short term feeling that will soon pass (psychology, its a bitch believe me). I don't want to love her because she doesn't love me, I just want to move on but I can't so what do I do ?
I'm in my twenties at University, this should have happened years ago and I feel like an imature High school kid but I still can't help the way I feel.
All I ask of this thread is either some advice of any nature even if it is to stop acting like a fool and move on. Or anyone who can relate to my situation and tell me how they got on with it.

Thank you for reading
Gataway_Driver
or as I'm mainly known
Richard

I'm still very new to this forum and I don't expect much response to this thread but typing it out makes me feel better. Its the usual story of how a girl shoots down a guy, but it just feels worse for me because she is my best friend doing the same course so I will see her every day. I want it to be how it was before I told her that I loved her more than a friend and I promised her that nothing would change but how can things remain the same? I almost feel like I'd never get over it but I know that it is a short term feeling that will soon pass (psychology, its a bitch believe me). I don't want to love her because she doesn't love me, I just want to move on but I can't so what do I do ?
I'm in my twenties at University, this should have happened years ago and I feel like an imature High school kid but I still can't help the way I feel.
All I ask of this thread is either some advice of any nature even if it is to stop acting like a fool and move on. Or anyone who can relate to my situation and tell me how they got on with it.

Thank you for reading
Gataway_Driver
or as I'm mainly known
Richard

Stop acting like a fool and move on! Heh! Sorry about that ... just couldn't resist.

Actually, if you were "head over heels" for her, about the only thing that's going to heal you is time. Find something you can get intensely interested in, read some good books, write a novel, run a couple of miles each day, and most importantly get out of the house!

Just be real. If there's something between you, it'll rise to the surface.

EDIT: I hate giving advice on how to act, because "just be real" is the only thing I can say in such situations; good for any interpersonal relationship.

how long ago did you tell her

was she utterly unreceptive tothe idea of dating?

Stop acting like a fool and move on! Heh! Sorry about that ... just couldn't resist.

Actually, if you were "head over heels" for her, about the only thing that's going to heal you is time. Find something you can get intensely interested in, read some good books, write a novel, run a couple of miles each day, and most importantly get out of the house!
I know I should move on but it is easier said than done!
You are right about me getting out the house and ure right that i should busy myself with other things

how long ago did you tell her

was she utterly unreceptive tothe idea of dating?

about two hours ago!
she didn't want anything to do with dating whatsoever!
The thing is Ive had this kinda thing before but it doesn't seem to be as bad as it is this time but I spose pain dulls with time so it woudn't

I want it to be how it was before I told her that I loved her more than a friend and I promised her that nothing would change but how can things remain the same?
Unfortunately, this is just a fact of life. Once you tell a friend you love them, the friendship has changed forever. There will always be an elephant in the room, and the elephant is the emotional imbalance between you. I know that sounds harsh, but you'll live. And now you'll know that you have to be willing to give up the friendship if your feelings aren't mutual.
I almost feel like I'd never get over it but I know that it is a short term feeling that will soon pass (psychology, its a bitch believe me). I don't want to love her because she doesn't love me, I just want to move on but I can't so what do I do ?
What every other guy has done before you. Wait for it to pass, as it will.

I think you'll be okay, if a bit less naive.

Just be real. If there's something between you, it'll rise to the surface.

EDIT: I hate giving advice on how to act, because "just be real" is the only thing I can say in such situations; good for any interpersonal relationship.

well i don't think anything will rise. Just be real is better advice than you think, it reminds me that i am who I am and I can't and won't change for n e one. It's just thatits the hard option right now

Shrug a girl I asked out once said yes then eventually decided to change it to no, :eh: didn't matter much. I see her every few months and its fine. For a few months after I asked her out I probably saw her once a week. She gave the "but we can be friends" response and I shrugged it off, said no and that was that. I'm not particularly interested in maintaining a friendship where I want more, all that can lead to is pain.

In the meantime what you do is move on. Even if you haven't mentally or emotionally. Just move on. Behave as if it doesn't bother you and behave and try to find another girl to date. Its amazing how much simply acting as if you are over something gets you over it.

Unfortunately, this is just a fact of life. Once you tell a friend you love them, the friendship has changed forever. There will always be an elephant in the room, and the elephant is the emotional imbalance between you. I know that sounds harsh, but you'll live. And now you'll know that you have to be willing to give up the friendship if your feelings aren't mutual.

What every other guy has done before you. Wait for it to pass, as it will.

I think you'll be okay, if a bit less naive.

Harsh but fair I understand. I think this is why i postedthe thread because I would ge candid answers and I respect those who have given them.
I just seem to be at my lowest at the moment and i need a kind of kick up the backside which you people are giving and I thank you

Harsh but fair I understand. I think this is why i postedthe thread because I would ge candid answers and I respect those who have given them.
I just seem to be at my lowest at the moment and i need a kind of kick up the backside which you people are giving and I thank you
Not trying to harsh your mellow. It's the same advice I'd give to my younger brother on chicks, really.

Another good thing about letting it go: if she really cares, she'll come to you. And then you'll know it's all good.

about two hours ago!
she didn't want anything to do with dating whatsoever!
The thing is Ive had this kinda thing before but it doesn't seem to be as bad as it is this time but I spose pain dulls with time so it woudn't
well 2 hours

you have a LONG way to go. the more sincere the feelings the longer it takes to get over them.

you have the weekend to wallow in despair. after that you are going to have to be an actor. you have to see her every day. you have to act like its OK. concentrate on your studies and the fun stuff of being in college. force yourself to go out and do stuff without her. before too too too long youll be able to enjoy life again even if its gonna take a long time to get over her.

next time. make your move way before its "love". that way if you are headed into a huge mistake you know before it rips your heart out.

well 2 hours

you have a LONG way to go. the more sincere the feelings the longer it takes to get over them.

you have the weekend to wallow in despair. after that you are going to have to be an actor. you have to see her every day. you have to act like its OK. concentrate on your studies and the fun stuff of being in college. force yourself to go out and do stuff without her. before too too too long youll be able to enjoy life again even if its gonna take a long time to get over her.

next time. make your move way before its "love". that way if you are headed into a huge mistake you know before it rips your heart out.

2 hours? It took me maybe 30 minutes... mind you I had been pining away for that girl for maybe 2 years. Eh. Everyone is different.

Not trying to harsh your mellow. It's the same advice I'd give to my younger brother on chicks, really.

Another good thing about letting it go: if she really cares, she'll come to you. And then you'll know it's all good.

No ure right its the sort of message to get back on my feet that i need

2 hours? It took me maybe 30 minutes... mind you I had been pining away for that girl for maybe 2 years. Eh. Everyone is different.

Ive been feeling like this since I started uni which is now about 5 months

You will feel better. You will get over it. We all do. It is not the end of the world, just a part of it.