NationStates Jolt Archive

Alot of people have been saying for a long time that Hannibals Story needs to be made into an epic-feature film. Well I've got good news and OMFGTHISISBAD news.

First, the good news:

They are trying to make one.

OMFGTHISISBAD news:

"They" is... VIN DIESEL (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382731)?!?!?!?

Yup, that's right folks, Vin Diesel is going to play the part of Hannibal. Now, am I the only person here who thinks the guy who recommended him is on crack?

Vin Diesel? You have got to be joking.
I hate that guys acting. I think he's terrible.

They'd have to be on more than just crack.

They'd have to be on more than just crack.

*nods*

Oh god. Now they're degrading the value of a fantastic character of a dramatic movie storyline to an "actiony" film that will attract "awesome!" teens as flocks into theaters. Good job, whoever the producer is.

They'd have to be on more than just crack.

Every drug known to man. This is the worst decision I've heard, at least today anyway.

Sounds like this gem could make Alexander, King Arthur and Troy look decent by comparison.

who do you think would be better?

at least vin has a great screen presence and a great physicality that is necessary for a character like hannibal. i expect he'll be more believeable than colin farrel as alexander.

I think the guy who played Hector in Troy would be a good choice for Hannibal.

http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hp&cf=prev&id=1808501904

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-318788

http://www.thezreview.co.uk/comingsoon/h/hannibaltheconqueror.shtm

http://releases.awn.com/index.php3?event_no=2098

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&q=%22Hannibal+the+Conqueror%22&btnG=Search

Come on, people! This is evil in it's purest form!

Why don't you people respond?

I have never seen Vin Diesel play a role that didn't consist solely of idiotic one-liners.

I doubt that Hannibal ever said anything as stupid as "I live my life one quarter-mile at a time."

Vin Who? Staring in a Movie about Hannibal? No no, impossible. Nope I'll never believe that. *humms a tune* la la la la la la la la la la la la

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

Vin Who? Staring in a Movie about Hannibal? No no, impossible. Nope I'll never believe that. *humms a tune* la la la la la la la la la la la la:

I'll join you:

*hums the same tune as Salvondia*

"la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la"

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

Oh I love the IMDB synopsis of the plot:

"Vin Diesel stars as the Carthaginian general who rode an elephant across the Alps to attack Rome in the 3rd Century B.C. "

Yes ... I can see the reviews now ... TWO HOURS OF NON-STOP ELEPHANT RIDING ACTION! Because, after all, that's the only thing Hannibal did.

It better be done well or I'm going to bitch. I named my son Hannibal after the Carthaginian general and I'll be damned if I'm gonna see his namesake besmirched.

lol Keruvalia!

Vin Diesel? You have got to be joking.
I hate that guys acting. I think he's terrible.

Watch saving private ryan. He's not that bad when he applies himself. Hell, he's a highly sucessful stage actor as well.

Oh I love the IMDB synopsis of the plot:

"Vin Diesel stars as the Carthaginian general who rode an elephant across the Alps to attack Rome in the 3rd Century B.C. "

Wow... just wow... that sounds like a fucking circus.

you do know that actors dont make up their own lines dont you?

he will say whatever is written for him. all it takes is a good script. if they want him to say "i live my life one quarter elephant at a time" he will but if they give him good lines to say, he'll say good lines

thats acting.

Ugh. I hate movies that spit on history and make Americans even dumber, because they go to the movies and thats where they learn about shit. Inevitably this will be included, and we can look forward to a generation of people who think Hannibal's main strengths were being some Vin Diesel character who probably spends much time brooding and being full of 20th century quasi-macho quasi-sensitive metrosexuality and love affairs with strong, independent women who are, of course, the very epitome of 20th century beauty. Oh yeah, and cuz Vin Diesel certainly looks like a fucking Carthaginian too. That's about as believable as Sean Connery as a Soviet submarine captain, but at least Sean Connery can act and that goes a long way.

At least it's being written by the same guy who did Gladiator.

Ugh. I hate movies that spit on history and make Americans even dumber, because they go to the movies and thats where they learn about shit. Inevitably this will be included, and we can look forward to a generation of people who think Hannibal's main strengths were being some Vin Diesel character who probably spends much time brooding and being full of 20th century quasi-macho quasi-sensitive metrosexuality and love affairs with strong, independent women who are, of course, the very epitome of 20th century beauty. Oh yeah, and cuz Vin Diesel certainly looks like a fucking Carthaginian too. That's about as believable as Sean Connery as a Soviet submarine captain, but at least Sean Connery can act and that goes a long way.

There were rumous of having Denzel Washington playing Hannibal in a different movie... At least Vin is white...

you do know that actors dont make up their own lines dont you?

he will say whatever is written for him. all it takes is a good script. if they want him to say "i live my life one quarter elephant at a time" he will but if they give him good lines to say, he'll say good lines

thats acting.

Yes, but Vin can't act. I can't either, but He most defintely can't.

There were rumous of having Denzel Washington playing Hannibal in a different movie... At least Vin is white...



Yes, but Vin can't act. I can't either, but He most defintely can't.

Was Hannibal white? I assumed being North African he was a least fairly dark skinned, even black.

Was Hannibal white? I assumed being North African he was a least fairly dark skinned, even black.

Hannibal was a member of the Carthaginian Elite, who were direct descendants(sp?) of the Phoenician Settlers(who were a Semetic People). He wasn't white per se, but he has somewhat olive, like a mix between an Israeli and a Palestinian. He most likely wasn't black.

Was Hannibal white? I assumed being North African he was a least fairly dark skinned, even black.
Vin Diesel isn't fully white and his skin color is pretty accurate for a typical North African.

I think the guy who played Hector in Troy would be a good choice for Hannibal.

Yea they need someone like that not Van Diesel.

At least we all know by the end of the movie Van Diesel will die. Alone, sad, and broken.. Hahahahahaha!!! :mp5:

Yea they need someone like that not Van Diesel.

At least we all know by the end of the movie Van Diesel will die. Alone, sad, and broken.. Hahahahahaha!!! :mp5:

Actually, Hannibal was alone, but he wasn't sad and he DEFFINETLY wasn't broken. Just defeated.

Although I agree..

Vin will die! YAY!

Hannibal was a member of the Carthaginian Elite, who were direct descendants(sp?) of the Phoenician Settlers(who were a Semetic People). He wasn't white per se, but he has somewhat olive, like a mix between an Israeli and a Palestinian. He most likely wasn't black.

Thanks. I forgot about the Phoenicians.

I think the guy who played Hector in Troy would be a good choice for Hannibal.

Eric Bana. Good actor needs a better script than he has had so far with Troy and the Hulk being his two big films

Yea they need someone like that not Van Diesel.

At least we all know by the end of the movie Van Diesel will die. Alone, sad, and broken.. Hahahahahaha!!! :mp5:

Hannibal's last act was to commit sucide to deny the Romans surrounding his house the pleasure. I don't know if he was ever broken, but he was certainly sad.

But all an all im so sick of people trying to remake old good classics and making them twice as crappy.

But all an all im so sick of people trying to remake old good classics and making them twice as crappy.

Well, there really isn't any good old classic Hannibal movie. At least none that I'm aware of.

Yea what i saw was pretty crappy but still you gotta know what i mean.

Yeah, destroying real classics... From over 2000 years ago...

Yeah, destroying real classics... From over 2000 years ago...

:D

bump

as someone who is very intrested in alexander the great, i was very disapointed by the movie. this, however, could make me vomit upon first viewing. vin diesel?

this makes me take back my request for a genghis khan movie. seriously hollywood, dont dissapoint me by ruining another great story.

as someone who is very intrested in alexander the great, i was very disapointed by the movie. this, however, could make me vomit upon first viewing. vin diesel?

this makes me take back my request for a genghis khan movie. seriously hollywood, dont dissapoint me by ruining another great story.

They already had a Ghengis Khan movie...

with John Wayneas Ghengis Khan.

They already had a Ghengis Khan movie...

with John Wayneas Ghengis Khan.


oh... well dont make another one (unless its actually good). *shakes fist*

Well, it'll make the Battle of Zama all that more interesting...

LOL i thought you were talking about another silence of the lambs for a second, NOW that would be bad news.

Sounds like jsut another crap movie

Vin Diesel is so very, very, very wrong for this part.
How stupid are the producers? My God, this is going to be so bad. He's not even a good actor.

ok ok you guys are right, it shouldnt be vin diesel

it should be THE ROCK

Richard Burton played Alexander the Great, everyone loved that, and he sucked. (What a ham). How bad could this be? At least wait until it is made before calling it dog turd.

ok ok you guys are right, it shouldnt be vin diesel

it should be THE ROCK

AHHHHH!!!

ok ok you guys are right, it shouldnt be vin diesel

it should be THE ROCK

In that case, the Battle of Zama should be rewritten so that Hannibal gets raped, gourged and then impaled on a stake after losing.

In that case, the Battle of Zama should be rewritten so that Hannibal gets raped, gourged and then impaled on a stake after losing.

Ugh...

That would eb a horrible ending for the greatest military genius in history...

Ugh...

That would eb a horrible ending for the greatest military genius in history...

He's already getting a more horrible ending, being portrayed by Vin Diesel.

Ugh...

That would eb a horrible ending for the greatest military genius in history...

Well, I was only saying that should The Rock be chosen to play Hannibal, because if the actor playing Hannibal is that bad I'd want him sliced up so badly to make up for all the "acting" I had to put up with in the movie.

That's why I was depressed when "The Alamo" didn't actually end with "The Battle of the Alamo"- because seeing all those bad actors' characters die would have given me solace for me having to put up with one of the worst movies ever made.

This news makes Jesus cry.

:(

This news makes Jesus cry.

:(

It makes Muhammed, Abraham, Vishnu, Kali, and Mother Earth Cry too :(.

Is this movie about Hannibal the Leader, or Hannibal Lechter? Either way, I think a turnip would do a better job than Vin Diesel.

ooooooooooooh...

hannibal the cartheginian. here i thought there was going to be a new silence of the lambs thing with vin disel as hannibal lecter.

carry on.

Is this movie about Hannibal the Leader, or Hannibal Lechter? Either way, I think a turnip would do a better job than Vin Diesel.

Hannibal Barca, the best general and leader of all time. ;)