NationStates Jolt Archive

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks

It's basically an addiction. An addict craves his drug of choice, but suffers because of it.

One word: DESIRE....

Because you make yourself vulnerable. You leave yourself open and that can hurt, alot sometimes. You put your heart and emotions out for someone else to see. Sometimes, however your most vulnerable moments can be your best.

One word: DESIRE....
Lol sounds like a Buddhist response.

or lust

why can one of your most vulnerable moments be your best?

Ok, I have a few questions.

First, if you think love is a drug that turns its users into addicts, then why do people grow old together and live happy lives?

Second, it's a desire and lust for what? If you're only there for sexual pleasure, then it's not love at all. It's a social disorder.

Lastly, just because you're making yourself open to someone doesn't make you vulnerable. What if you and a meek, low self esteemed person that is built stronger because of a love? I ask because I was like that. I probably have the worst self esteem ever, but when I started dating, it let me feel more confident about myself.

Thanks

why can one of your most vulnerable moments be your best?
Because thats one of the few times when you can actually make an honest connection with another person. You might be afraid of being dashed to peices, but when you are loved instead its incredible.

Ok, I have a few questions.

First, if you think love is a drug that turns its users into addicts, then why do people grow old together and live happy lives?

Second, it's a desire and lust for what? If you're only there for sexual pleasure, then it's not love at all. It's a social disorder.

Lastly, just because you're making yourself open to someone doesn't make you vulnerable. What if you and a meek, low self esteemed person that is built stronger because of a love? I ask because I was like that. I probably have the worst self esteem ever, but when I started dating, it let me feel more confident about myself.

Thanks
In answer to the first question, you build up a tolerance and are left with a strong friendship. It's a fact that the brain chemistry that people associate with strong, passionate love is fleeting.

Lastly, just because you're making yourself open to someone doesn't make you vulnerable. What if you and a meek, low self esteemed person that is built stronger because of a love? I ask because I was like that. I probably have the worst self esteem ever, but when I started dating, it let me feel more confident about myself.

Thanks
I don't mean vulnerable in a general sense, just at certain moments.

Because you make yourself vulnerable. You leave yourself open and that can hurt, alot sometimes. You put your heart and emotions out for someone else to see. Sometimes, however your most vulnerable moments can be your best.

Here here!! exactly.

Because thats one of the few times when you can actually make an honest connection with another person. You might be afraid of being dashed to peices, but when you are loved instead its incredible.


thats only when you are loved instead, if you get to that point where you were'nt honest in the first place it's not going to work properly. if a relationship is going to work first of all it has to be based on trust and not purely on sex.

which i found out the hard way!!!

What you should do is keep her around for 2+ years, and then dump her. That always makes a girl feel good.

:headbang:

For the same reason drugs or food can fuck you up.

What you should do is keep her around for 2+ years, and then dump her. That always makes a girl feel good.

:headbang:

Umm...I'm sorry if a guy hurt you. I was just asking for some guidance.

Cunnyfunt, I believe that the only real relationships are the ones that actually mean something. Yes, I know that they are built on trust and honesty, but you keep bringing up the topic of sex. Relationships CAN'T be based around sex. It is very mentally unhealthy (I should know).

Umm...I'm sorry if a guy hurt you. I was just asking for some guidance.

Sorry, I just felt like being a smartass. :p

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks



that depends on when it hurts such as when you are separated from each other.

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks
Not enough lube.

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks
Just wait till she dumps you for your best friend in three months and blames it all on you and then blames you for getting mad...


Sorry, bitterness...

Not enough lube.

You would make a wonderful advice columnist, SB. :D

What you should do is keep her around for 2+ years, and then dump her. That always makes a girl feel good.

:headbang:

Yeah, you should see that thread, just goes on and on.. still, I feel bad for you Kimberly. Hope this (http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Farivanos) makes you feel better! :D

Yeah, you should see that thread, just goes on and on.. still, I feel bad for you Kimberly. Hope this (http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Farivanos) makes you feel better! :D

You ate my brain. Owwie.

You ate my brain. Owwie.

:D

Sorry, I needed more brainz.

Why does love hurt? Look at a St. Valentine's Day card sometime. You see that thing at the bottom of the heart? Looks like it comes to a point? That's a point! Sharp! Pointy! Painful!

Originally Posted by Isolated Fury
"Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks"


If you are still with her why does it hurt?-I think it is because you don't trust her or you are very jeluss.

If you can't stand the pain of love, STOP DATING A DOM!

You would make a wonderful advice columnist, SB. :D

Hey, maybe I am! :p

well, why does getting hit with a cardboard rod hurt?

When im not so tired, I'll TG the anserw to you. Or post it here. Whatever

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks

Funny, I've been asking the same question as of late. I suppose it is because of desire and passion. When we can't have our needs met, we crave, and once they are met, we crave more. Perhaps I'm one of the few who considers lust, when in perfect love, a virtue.

Why does love hurt? Silly question.

Love is a pleasant thing. Like having an arm.

How would you feel if I ripped your arm off?

Umm...I'm sorry if a guy hurt you. I was just asking for some guidance.

Cunnyfunt, I believe that the only real relationships are the ones that actually mean something. Yes, I know that they are built on trust and honesty, but you keep bringing up the topic of sex. Relationships CAN'T be based around sex. It is very mentally unhealthy (I should know).

Are you saying that sex isn't a major factor in the relationship? Because it is! Unconsummated lust can damage all relations! A women (or man for that matter) must be both companion and bed-fellow, available but still the object of passion.

Why does love hurt? Silly question.
Love is a pleasant thing. Like having an arm.
How would you feel if I ripped your arm off?

Exactly. Love hurts when it's gone.

There's no pain if you never loved at all.

Love is for the weak. War is for the strong.

It hurts so much because it's one of the few pure and truly good things left that humanity hasn't completely deviled.

Love produces pain. Pain lets your know you're still alive. Excessive pain leads to death...Ironic no?

Why does love hurt? Silly question.
Love is a pleasant thing. Like having an arm.
How would you feel if I ripped your arm off?

Exactly. Love hurts when it's gone.

There's no pain if you never loved at all.
Although it would not hurt to never have a left arm, getting through life without one may still seem rather empty.

It's a bit like investing: High risk = high returns.

I was very safe being single, bugger all emotional risk, but missing out on a whole bunch of fantastic things too.

Being in a relationship means more risk; you can have a lot more things to worry about and things can go wrong. But when they go right, there's nothing like it in the world.

However, I say this now because things are going very right! One day you'll all pull out this post when I start speaking like Armenian Cheese ;)

You know the quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?"

That person was NEVER in love nor got hurt...

Love hurts because unlike other lesser emotions - it haunts the soul eternally.
We cannot control who we love, nor when, nor why or even if we love... and even then, that we would rather not love - we haven't the choice, love chooses us. Love makes martyrs of us all.

It hurts because you trust the person you love with the core of your being; you trust that they won't insult you, or hurt you in anyway, but then they do. That's why love hurts because they have failed you there and have shown lack of compassion for you.

You know the quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?"

That person was NEVER in love nor got hurt...
The point is that you would always have been left wondering what could have been. Life is what you experience, good and bad. Never experiencing anything is no way to go through life. In my experience the regret about those kind of things is pretty bad.

The point is that you would always have been left wondering what could have been. Life is what you experience, good and bad. Never experiencing anything is no way to go through life. In my experience the regret about those kind of things is pretty bad.

I'm not so sure that all experiences are worthwhile...

I'm not so sure that all experiences are worthwhile...
No you're right about that but it is the risk we take in living. Being afraid a doing anything pretty much negates the point of living. Now at the same time I don't suggest marrying a serial killer or reenacting the Jackass movie, but I think you get my point.

I'm pretty sure that all experiences are worth having, if you look at them the right way.

I had two bad relationships before the current one, and both ended terribly. I cried for a while, got over them and moved on, and now I realize that I actually learned something from the relationships and the breakups. Losing love hurts, especially when you're the one pushing it away, but even initiating breakups can teach you something about yourself.

Let the message through, you'll be a better person for it.

You can definately learn a lot through bad experiences.

I haven't had any messy breakups, but whenever I have a fight, I find we are closer in the end because we've resolved it and understand each other a bit better.

"Why does love hurt?"

Um ... you must be doing it wrong somehow. :D

Why does love hurt?
Why, when you got the *(*&^% bruise from the coffee table in the middle of the night, do you keep poking the bruise?
"Oh yeah, CRAP, it's still bruised!"
"Oh yeah, CRAP, I'm still in love!"

The pain of love also tends to be more for those with a more.. common way of going about things.

I tend to have a very steadfast manner of 'loving'. Only fallen in love once thus far (may never again, so, eh). Due to spatial issues (We have an entire planet between us... She's in AU, I'm in the US.), she moved on and got in to new relationships (She was more physical, I was more of a romantic, so I've been much slower to get in to relationships. That and I was surrounded by bible-thumpers for several years.. heh..). I did spend a whole nasty year crying, mostly due to trying to deny my own love for her, trying to squash it and such. Didn't work. The day I said, "Screw it, I love her, I'm stuck, no reason to bitch about it.", I felt fine and dandy, and have, since.

Still keep in strong contact with her, largely to agree that her boyfriend is a royal ass, and to strongly agree with her taste in clothing when she's wearing something low-cut (yay webcams). As such, my emotional connection doesn't really suffer. As for lustier matters, the 'friends with benefits' thing is a rather interesting choice, I find... :fluffle:

Exactly. Love hurts when it's gone.

There's no pain if you never loved at all.

Hear, hear. That's the real wisdom..

Hear, hear. That's the real wisdom..
Loneliness hurts too.

Loneliness hurts too.
It sure in the hell does.

Then again... not as much as prison.

Loneliness hurts too.

Though Loneliness may not necessarily be cured by having a relationship.

Two lonely people coming together does not make any of them whole.

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks
All the best things require effort, work, and often pain. The more you work and suffer for something the more meaningful it is. And the greater rewards you reap, whether it is in a life long companion or a lesson well learned. There are always two roads, the easy one, and the hard one. The only advantage of the easy one is just that. (it's easy)

Why does love hurt? Because nothing is perfect, and when something is expected to be, that just makes those imperfections all the more blatant and painful. What generally happens in relationships is that people start projecting their ideal, and any deviations from it cause disillusionment and resentment.
If you're prepared to deal with it, love is definitely worth it.

Hi, I've been dating a girl for about 5 months now, and I just can't understand this. Why does love hurt so much? If it's such a great thing(because I actually know just how great it is), it shouldn't be so painful.

Just tell me what you think.

Thanks


If it hurts, you're doing something wrong. Either that, or she's not sufficiently lubricated.

Why does love hurt so much?

Because you touch yourself at night.

In answer to the first question, you build up a tolerance and are left with a strong friendship. It's a fact that the brain chemistry that people associate with strong, passionate love is fleeting.
Considering that testosterone levels rise in women and estrogen levels rise in men if they are "deeply in love" it's not surprising that it wears off. The body can only sustain that for so long.

Love hurts because you invest some or all of yourself, trust some or all of yourself, give some or all of yourself into the hands/heart of another fallible human being. When that person makes a mistake we get hurt, even in the best of relationships. In addition to that we have selfish and sometimes unreasonable expectations of a person we love and when they can't live up to them we feel hurt through no fault of the one we love. Finding the differance is a huge challenge, but only time and a forgiving heart can help with that process.

Love is like a flame, it burns you when it's hot.

I think that answers your question.

Because you touch yourself at night.

Omg Your right. If I touch myself at night.. which I usually do it.. like 7 times. I'll be sore before I get some loving action.

Why didn't I think of that! Nowonder Love hurts! *Knocks head*