NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm not sure if this post has been done before, my sincere apologies if it has.

I'd like to know everybody's opinion(s) on online dating or meeting someone that you've first talked to online. Most likely, you've all read the horror stories about kidnappings, liars, and general creeps that one meets in real life, as opposed to the charming online persona.

Do you think these stories are exaggerated, or is it really that scary/horrible/always turning out bad-ish?

If you would meet someone from online, what circumstances would you do it under? Would you speak with them by phone first?

Again, forgive me if this post has been done, I'm just overly curious.

If you would meet someone from online, what circumstances would you do it under? Would you speak with them by phone first?
I would speak with them by phone first, I wouldn't meet them in an area far from other people, and I'd have a weapon with me, if possible.

I've met two people over the internet, one I spoke to over the phone first, and the other I didn't. I met them both times with a group of friends. They are now RL friends. Nobody I know has had a bad experience.

I'm not a big fan of phones, but if he/she insisted on it (which is quite reasonable) I would. I'd just make sure to meet somewhere very public.

I'd like to know everybody's opinion(s) on online dating or meeting someone that you've first talked to online. Most likely, you've all read the horror stories about kidnappings, liars, and general creeps that one meets in real life, as opposed to the charming online persona.


I met someone over the "internet" - in quotes because it was a dial-up BBS, not a website forums - and had a lovely 2 year relationship out of it.

I guess like anything, it is a toss of the dice.

I wouldn't really care either way....... :P j/k I wouldn't think anyone would want to kidnap me.... But you never know!

I met a girl on the internet, and since we lived across the country from each other, we just sort of stayed friends. Then I moved across the country, and we actually went on a date. It didn't work out (really too bad in ways) but we are still friends. Now she has moved down the coast, so we're back to only knowing each other online. Not creepy or anything, just like any other dating relationship that failed in a good way.

i have had two positive experiences, both were people that i started friendships with. when i met them , each time, i always brought my friends with me. now, one of them actually moved to my state, and lives a short distance from me. the other one comes to visit twice a year. i met another person on the web that i talked to maybe 4 times per week, someone who i thought had been a terrific friend for the last year, and would have loved to hang out with and he just vanished off the radar last week- so go figure. just like RL. you never know what you are getting. i like neos advice about the weapon. she is so street smart :D

I have met people from internet for business meetings. Other then that. All other times I have met people from the internet have been terrible.

My advice, bring a cell phone, bring 1 or 2 trained guard dogs, bring a video camera, have backup (other friends) with guns and cell phones ready, and have them park at the same location but not too close, and ALWAYS have a gun! If you can only do one thing from the list; have a gun. Having a gun, has saved my life multiple times.

I also recommend that you know the person for 10 years, or at least 2 years before meeting them, that includes phone calls and using paper to send mail, and that's about it.

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh

My advice is: Meet them in a public place and if you can, bring a friend. Keep your cell phone iwth you and let someone know wher you are and your plans (and also if your plans change).

Also keep in mind that people are often different in real life than they are online, some of the loudest most obnoxious online people are quite shy and quiet in RL.

In the end, err on the side of caution, if you feel uncomfortable about anything, beg off, cancel, or cut short the meeting. I won't advocate bringing a weapon since I despise violence, but if it makes you feel safer, peppr spray is pretty cheap. :)

I have a friend who's 14 year old daughter was murdered by a 30 something guy she met online who pretended to be 15. He is now doing life w/o parole (good riddance too).

Meet in public, DO NOT release accurate phone numbers, addresses or other identifying info. online, take a friend to the initial meeting and, parents, watch your kids. Paranoid? Maybe. will my kids avoid the fate of my friend's child? You bet they will.

P.S. You're an adult? you should still be careful, you never know until you meet them in person.

online dating is just laughable to me. if you have to hop on a plane to go out with your girlfriend you might as well just stay at home with a porn video. but if she's your actual girlfriend and just away at college thats perfectly fine.

as far as meeting someone you've talked to online i'd say wait until you've talked to them for at least a couple of years, meet in a public place, make sure someone knows where you're gonna be and who you're meeting, and that pepper spray advice looks pretty good too.

I have met people from internet for business meetings. Other then that. All other times I have met people from the internet have been terrible.

My advice, bring a cell phone, bring 1 or 2 trained guard dogs, bring a video camera, have backup (other friends) with guns and cell phones ready, and have them park at the same location but not too close, and ALWAYS have a gun! If you can only do one thing from the list; have a gun. Having a gun, has saved my life multiple times.

I also recommend that you know the person for 10 years, or at least 2 years before meeting them, that includes phone calls and using paper to send mail, and that's about it.

Posted by Satanist, Lord Medivh
i can agree with the gun thing. really. pepper spray holds no candle to look on someones face when threatened with a .45

I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships. I tried. It sucked. Honestly, it is too easy to fool somebody into thinking you're someone that you're not when online, even unintentionally. I would want to meet in person and hang out for a while (think couple of weeks) before I dated someone that I knew over the internet.

I speak to someone off the internet quite often. I'm not too worried with her having my phone no- she's met several other people off a forum I go to, and they appear to be still alive and well.


I've spoken to 6 people on the phone, 5 of them purely on payphones. I don't worry about my safety too much, the forum I'm on has had people meet other members all the time.

Plus, I live in Australia. Very few people are willing to travel that far.

A lot of my friends are old chat aquaintances from an RPG site i met offline on various conventions afterwards. From that point on we meet each other now and then, try to organize cons ourselves, throw a party, whatever. But Germany is pretty small, we live maximum 7 or 8 hours drive from each other.
With relationships, i had some that started online. Since i am a not a whimp, i am not afraid to meet a woman i only communicated with via electronic means. But i can fully understand that a petite girl might want take a lot more precautions.